Art by Kiru (thank you so much!)
どんなに愛しても
抱きしめても
口づけの向こう
風に揺れる Castle of Sand
He was helplessly chasing memories on this endless stretch of desert, watching the silky grains of sand slip from between his fingers. Inevitable. The tighter he grasped, the more they were caught by the wind, swept into a shimmering scarf before returning to the dunes below. Little by little, he had come to understand that the world, the billions of people on it, time itself... they had all left him behind. Yet a nugget of warmth still existed within his heart; and this he held onto with every strength he had left.
"You should count yourself lucky." Those were the words that the guard had left them with, when they had been dumped onto this desert planet. Amongst the other prisoners, exiles, misfits and everything in between, he had gotten slightly better treatment. Hidden upon his person was seven days of ration, as well as an old military issue gun. If not for the monsters, then for protecting himself from the other people who would do just about anything to survive.
It has been thirteen days since he had last seen another soul. The soldiers' uniform he wore was already tattered and smeared with the blood of the deformed critters that hid within the dunes. He had already lost one of his military stars from his shoulder, and another badge from his chest. But what did that matter. In the eyes of his homeland, he was a traitor. Toska Hiroomi, the once esteemed soldier who had become a deserter.
He had rested enough, and patted off some sand while he stood up. Looking out at the vastness of space beyond, he was once again enraptured by the beauty of this brutal place. Silently, the silvery lilac moon, so huge that the bottom of it was almost below the horizon, gazed back at him. Hiroomi had the sense that time moved differently on this planet made of sand. Even if it had been thirteen days (as far as he could tell), he had not yet grown even a hint of stubble, nor could he feel intense thirst and hunger. This definitely helped, because he had been left here to die.
He had still failed to find shelter. As far as he could see, it was simply desert. Perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him, or perhaps the wind continued to change the geography and mess with his perception and direction. Hiroomi was not physically tired, but the battles and contrasting stretches of serenity where time seemed to stop were testing his mental capacities to the limit.
Onwards he travelled, reciting the laws he had memorised as a young army recruit. Even this helped a little. He wasn't sure how many kilometers he had covered before his senses alerted him to another beast. Thus he got his gun cocked and ready to engage, eyes sharpened to spot any movement from the deceptively calm dunes before him. There. A spiny, thin tail shot out from the sand, followed by the creature's twisted body. Its skin was slick as oilspill, difficult to penetrate even with the state issued bullets.
Hiroomi had learned that their weakness were their green eyes, but they also went berserk for a short period afterwards, during which he had to be careful to avoid the powerful strike of its thorned tail. But this time, the creature was larger than the ones he had engaged with prior, and he was not quick enough. The beasts' emerald blood formed domed jewels on the sand as its body whipped about. Hiroomi cussed as he tried to get out of the way, but that tail had caught him. His shoulder absorbed the bulk of it, the thorns ripping through his uniform and his skin, swiping a diagonal and ending at his hip.
He roared as he swung up his gun again, putting another bullet straight through the creature's brain before man and beast both collapsed on the sand. It was his miscalculation. He had no first aid kit, nowhere to nurse his wounds. How far had those thorns cut him? Hiroomi held tight onto the tear in his shoulder as he struggled forward. His hand was hot and moist with his own blood. Every step seemed to suck in his stumbling feet. His body temperature was dropping fast and his teeth clacked together. Just one measly little wound... Why was he reacting in such a way?
The next step took him tumbling head first into the sand. Hiroomi floated in an out of consciousness for the next hour or so, left completely out in the elements. With each inhale his lungs burned as though he had swallowed sand, or maybe it was only because of the poison seeping into his system. He wheezed softly, eyes rolling in their sockets as he tried to make out the movement in the distance. A person in white... One of the people from the ship who had come to finish him off and take his supplies? Was that his pitiful end?
A slim hand was reaching towards him. He saw the figure crouch before him but not much more than that. There was a soft touch of someone's fingertips upon his temple; the only sliver of kindness that he had received in years. Or maybe this, too, is an illusion. Hiroomi closed his eyes again.
Deep within the desert planet was a limestone maze. These were ruins of a civilisation that must have resided here thousands of years ago. One of these buildings were particularly well hidden. It was there that Hirpomi had been carried. His prone body was laid upon a thickly woven rug, the uniform peeled away, before gentle hands expertly tended to his wounds. He was mostly unconscious throughout it all, surrendering himself to whatever fate was left to him. His injury was cleaned, ground herbs applied and then sealed with a paste of gum and oil.
As Hiroomi rested, now and then he could hear quiet singing. It was a sweet and soft tenor that gave him the sense that everything was going to be all right. Oh, then that must mean he had really died and gone to heaven. If he even deserved heaven. On the other hand, the pain within him could not let him rest peacefully for long. His veins seemed to be on fire, his body drenched with cold sweat no matter how many times he was wiped down. Finally, he was fully awake, attempting to push himself up on his elbows. It brought so much agony that he cried out and fell back down.
Someone rushed towards him, hands pressing firmly yet tenderly at his shoulders till he stopped struggling. There was a man looming over him, a man with flowing white garments, dark hair and glittering black eyes. He was speaking something to him, but Hiroomi couldn't understand a word. His heart thumped painfully, fingers twitching to grab hold of the stranger and defend himself, as instinct taught him. But the man was reaching out again, holding a warm, moist towel to his forehead to dab off the gathering of sweat.
"Who... Who are you?" his voice sounded terrible. The man's brows furrowed, his moustache moving along with the slight pout of his lips. It seems that he did not understand the question. Hiroomi flinched as a hand was slipped under his neck, elevating his head. The rim of a bowl was pressed to his lips, and after he saw the encouraging nod of the strange man, he slowly drank. After this was emptied, the man displayed another bowl, this time darker in colour with residues at the bottom. He made various gestures as he spoke in that alien language, drawing a diagonal across his body in the same direction as his wound, mimicking a monster, from the growl to the scary claws...
"I got it, I got it. It's medicine for my wound? I believe you. I'll drink it." Hiroomi put a stop to that, before the charade could go on any longer. The man smiled back at him, obviously relieved, and patiently fed him the bitter brew. Another drink of water after that, and he was already feeling much better. Or maybe most of it was due to the fact that he had some kind of shelter, wasn't dead, and there was another living being beside him who didn't want to slash him to pieces or put a bullet through his head. At least he hoped not.
The man stared at him rather intently, as though he was trying to bore into his very soul. His expression was uncertain, fearful, but also hopeful... with a touch of loneliness and longing? Hiroomi was shocked himself that he could see that much from the man's eyes, but maybe, he was just strangely expressive. Because of the language barrier, it was impossible to find out much useful information about this world. The man had definitely been here for a long time, because he seems to have found a steady water and food source. After various struggles, they at least managed to exchange names. He told him to call him 'Omi' because 'Hiroomi' seemed to be too difficult. His name was Rily. From what he could gather from the gestures, he got the name from a flower.
Thanks to Rily's care, his wound was healing slowly but steadily. While the flesh around his shoulder was mangled and would leave an ugly scar, there was nothing he could do about it. The poison would take longer to leave his system, and so he had to rely on Rily for the time being. However, it seemed like they were well sheltered from the danger of the open desert, the hours, or days, or whatever they were, passing in relative peace.
They spent a lot of time exploring the old structures together. Today, Rily again took him to the spot that looked like an coliseum. There was an old instrument sitting at the centre of it. The lid of it, once a shiny enamel black, had been worn down by decades of sand. It was upon this surface that they practised communicating with each other; spreading the soft gold into a thin layer to draw characters and shapes upon it. Whenever they managed to reach understanding, Rily would be ecstatic. His laughter was the kind that animated his entire countenance. At first, Hiroomi found that openness alarming, but now, he was starting to wonder how someone's laughter could be so beautiful.
"Home." Hiroomi uttered once more as he pointed at the drawing on the sand. "My home is..." He gave Rily's arm a light tug, and then he started to ascend the steps of the coliseum. Rily followed, and the man was surprisingly nimble on his feet, hopping up much faster than he. To be fair, he was still recovering from an injury. Hiroomi gazed up at the figure waiting for him at the top. The tails of his silky white robe flaring out behind him in the wind, the pleats of his high waisted trousers falling gracefully over long legs. He was like a mirage at this magic hour, making him feel nostalgic for something that he never even had.
Rily helped him up on that last step. They were overlooking the limestone maze to the familiar blue and green planet in the distance. Hiroomi extended his arm to point towards that part of earth where he used to reside.
"Where?" Rily pressed closer to him, shoulders brushing as he tried to follow the trajectory of his pointing. "It's here." He held his wrist to point towards that place. Rily was so close that their cheeks were practically brushing together. He could smell the subtle scent of him; the scent of Jasmine. "Ah!" Rily sounded joyful when he had finally found it. "Omi's home, here."
"Where is your home?"
Rily pulled back to look at him carefully. His smile was melancholic as he shook his head slowly. He didn't know? He couldn't remember? Quietly, Hiroomi apologised, though he was unsure if Rily could understand. They stayed there in companionable silence, admiring the world beyond that continued to spin on its axis; so real, so palpable, and yet so far away. In a moment, he could feel Rily's hand slide shyly into his own. He dared to steal a glance and, in that millisecond when the white hood had slipped back because of the wind, he found the most gorgeous dusting of rosy pink across Rily's cheek. He only hesitated for a moment before giving that delicate hand a gentle squeeze.
No, he couldn't remember where his home was. As much as he wanted to, as much as he tried, his memory comes up blank. Omi was from earth. He knew about earth. In the limestone ruins, he had once managed to find an old library. There were a few salvageable volumes that he took home to read. Well, by read, it was mostly looking at the pictures, because he couldn't understand a word of the text. He learned of the various planets through these books, the creatures that lived on them, the kind of cuisine they enjoyed and the festivals that they celebrated.
It helped him to not feel so alone.
Granted, every so often, people would be thrown onto this desert planet. Omi had not been the first one. Rily did not engage with everyone he saw. Most took advantage of his good will, others tried to kill him. He had managed to make friends with one or two of them in the past, but they never stayed long. Rily wondered if it was because he expressed his desire for companionship too much, too early. He couldn't help it. So many years had passed on this barren yet beautiful land, with only the piano and the moon as his partners.
Rily hoped that Omi would be the one who stayed, because he sensed that he was different. The moment he had seen him, sprawled upon the blonde desert drenched in blood, something pulled violently within him. He had reached out to him with trembling fingers, to sweep back the black fringe and look upon his features. The slightly stern brows, the strong cheekbones, the mole beneath his right eye, the plush bottom lip... His heart had told him, "this is the one. This is the man you have been waiting for."
He believed in that intuition, but was equally terrified of believing in it. Sometimes, the way Omi looked at him... That kind of tenderness, that kind of lingering touch between their fingertips, it was a jolt that set the gears in his watch into motion again, allowing the frozen time within his world to flow once more. Some nights, he could not stop himself from watching Omi sleep. They shared that thick rug and woven blanket, using one another's body heat to relieve the bitter coldness of this planet's nights. Sometimes he was brave enough to reach out for Omi's hand to hold while they rested.
Outside, the wind howled. He could imagine the curtains of sand being swept up to billow across the backdrop of aurora lights and oscillating stars. The dunes may shift again, perhaps reveal another scorched skeleton that had been buried there for thousands of years. He brushed his thumb over Omi's cheekbone. "I think I..." No, not even 'I think.'
"I have been loving you for such a long time. I wish there was a way to tell you, Omi."
His voice was so quiet it could almost be obscured by the slithering whisper of sand across the front porch. Of course, Omi couldn't have heard him. Having spoken these deep-seated feelings aloud, his body felt as though it might soar through the roof. His heart seemed to be set ablaze, face flushing crimson. A pained noise escaped from his lips before he shifted to turn his back to the man, curling himself up and trying to get his breathing back into order.
Until Omi's hand touched his shoulder. He flinched, immediately terrified that he had been heard. Even if Omi couldn't possibly understand his language. Omi called his name, along with some other words he didn't recognise, but he could hear the worry in his tone. The incessant weight of his hand upon his shoulder implored him to turn around, his eyes glimmering in the darkness.
"You are sad. Why?" Rily breathed in sharply. How could he... Oh. His thumb brushed lightly over the rim of his eye, leaving the brief sensation of moist warmth. "Omi... Go? Goodbye?" His voice cracked a little at the end. Beneath the blanket he reached for him, fingers tightening in the fabric of his shirt. "No. Why do you say that? I'm staying here. I'm staying right here with you, Rily."
He only caught the words 'no', 'stay', and 'with you'. And that was all he had ever needed. All he had ever hoped for, that made the loneliness he had suffered all worth it. How many midnight blues must have been played over the cracked ivory keys of the grand piano? Or the last time that rain had kissed this this barren earth? He could hardly breathe as Omi gazed back at him with eyes ignited with determination and passion, as thought they had been hewn out of precious sapphire. It was unclear who had leaned in first, but their lips had met with trembling eagerness. His fingers tangled with the long strands of Omi's hair while the soldier's arm wrapped securely around his waist.
His kiss was life itself. His heart had never felt so full. If he had not been laying down, he was sure that he would crumble right beneath the heated kisses like a house of cards. Even as Omi consoled him with his warm, solid body and soft hushes, tears continued to stream down his cheeks of their own accord. He was not allowed a moment to catch his breath before a velvety tongue ran between the seam of his lips, requesting entrance. Rily let him in with merely a tremble, pulling himself closer to the warm body. The noise that he made as Omi's tongue swept in was overjoyed and needy.
His tears had eventually subsided. Shuddering breaths fanned across one another's cheeks, teeth clashing as their tongues moved with clumsy eagerness. They kissed like this until they had to part for air, faces flushed from the lack of oxygen as well as the desire that was steadily bubbling over. Omi took that moment to run his fingers slowly along the curve of his waist, eyes gazing over his features so adoringly that he wondered why he ever needed to doubt in the first place.
"I'm sorry... Was that too fast? Should we stop?" Omi asked him; the moment Rily heard the word stop, he shook his head vehemently. Not when this evening had been so magical. Not when he had poured out everything to him as best as he could. And where words failed, there was still another language that could not. He was bright with embarrassment as he took Omi's palm to press to the open V between his shirt. "More, please..." The kind of noise that Omi had made in response made him melt like molten glass.
This windbitten house with the mound of sand at the entrance was their sanctuary. The wail of the night wind outside was the blues to their intimacy. Neither were well experienced, but they explored one another with an equal measure of overwhelming hunger and tender affection. Omi drank up the sight of his naked body like a parched man, his palms running over the shape of his chest and spending a long time tracing the curve of his waist. Rily was acutely embarrassed but his heart soared under the attention.
He returned this tenfold, pressing Omi onto his back so that he could rain kisses all over him. From the mole beneath his eye and curve of his jaw, the side of his neck to the jut of his collarbones, the pale scars that littered his abdomen on top of the new one that was still healing, he took care to brush his lips and the tip of his tongue over each of them. Understandably, this could not go on for too long before an impassioned Omi tugged him down, reversing their positions. The first roll of their hips together had him moaning wantonly, his body arching up to meet him.
The thought of whether Omi would be repulsed by the fact that he was also a man had never even crossed his mind. The way they touched each other was so spontaneous, so instinctive. Surely there was nothing unnatural about two people loving one another on this god forsaken planet. His mouth sought out Omi's for more of those addictive, bruising kisses, his hand reaching between them to take hold of their arousals. The way Omi grunted low and thrust into his hold was totally satisfying.
His fingers dug into Omi's muscular forearms as they moved in tandem, both artlessly chasing the high. He felt the sting of Omi's teeth on his neck and he loved it, turning his head to the side to let Omi mark him as much as he liked. Strings of curses and whimpers fell from his lips as they worked each other closer and closer to the edge. Rily made sure to watch carefully as his partner reached orgasm; he was beautiful, so powerful, the fire in his gaze intense enough to turn him into dust. He called out his name adoringly as he came as well, his moans breathless and europhic.
As though he could read his mind, Omi nudged his nose with his until their mouths could meet once more, exchanging kisses that grew lax and indulgent from the pleasure buzzing through their bodies. Tightly they held each other in that little bed, in this crumbling home, until sated exhaustion claimed them.
Hiroomi rolled over on the bed, his hand searching for the beautiful valley of Rily's waist, but coming up empty. He pushed himself up so fast that the barely healed wound cried out in abuse.
"Rily!" He called out frantically to him, his heart plummeting to his gut. If Rily was gone... He would have nothing left again. Or, was last night just a lucid dream born from the selfish desires of a wretched man? Omi tugged on his clothes, pushing past the hanging fabric that was the door, his breathing fast and uneven.
He could have toppled to the ground in relief when he spotted him, not too far from the house, carrying a pitcher of water. Rily saw him, and something on his expression must have caused him to quickly set down the pitcher and rush over to him. Through the reassuring voice and warm hands upon his cheeks, he realised that Rily had simply been retrieving some supplies.
Rily laced their fingers together, a soft smile spreading upon his shapely lips. He leaned up to brush kisses upon his cheek, his moustache tickling his skin slightly. Omi felt the tension leave him immediately, and quietly he apologised for his panic, before drawing him in by the back of the neck to claim his lips. They walked back quietly, and resumed their daily routine of filling the water pots, tending to the small vegetable garden Rily had grown, weaving silk and repairing anything that they managed to salvage from the ruins. He loved all of these moments with him, unassuming and mundane as they were. For he had never had a normal life where he could enjoy these things.
It could be that their routine took longer than usual because they would be often overwhelmed by the desire to kiss and touch. Last night had happened so fast that he could hardly remember anything apart from the brilliant burst of heat and happiness from Rily's responding passion. Currently, the man was bent over an old machine he was trying to configure. Omi's hands stilled on the loom as he spied his newfound lover; the dip of his waist and hips, visible through the translucent white robe, reminded him of the smooth golden dunes that captured his attention when he had landed upon this planet.
Hiroomi was no longer feverish with the need to find answers. Over the months he had spent with Rily, his clock had naturally slowed down to match Rily's. It seems like they were also able to sleep more regularly because of the comfort of having another person's company. Everything fell into place as though it was always meant to be. For a soldier who had never known true friendship nor love, Rily had answered every prayer that he could not even voice himself.
The winds had settled down a little. Thus they ventured out again, back to the place where the grand piano's burnished lid waited for the next fleeting inscription of their parallel desire to be connected. Hiroomi watched his lover's silhouette, outlined in starry light. The bridge of his nose was the valley of a sandy mountain, the fine curve of his chin and throat a waterfall. Rily placed his hand on his own heart, and then on his. Then he pointed to the words he wrote upon the piano, expression uncertain but hopeful.
Omi understood. Somehow. These were the words Rily had said to him last night. The words that changed everything. No... More precisely, they were the words that made everything the way it was supposed to be since the beginning of time. As he smiled and uttered his own confession to Rily, he had the sense that he understood, too. The wind sang tenderly through the air, sweeping up with it the grains of their message of love. Shimmering like a glissando, they were carried away into the long night, as though towards the overlooking moon herself.
Fin.
他无助地在这片无尽的沙漠上追寻记忆，看着丝丝沙粒从他的指间滑落。这是不可避免的。他抓得越紧，沙粒就越被风抓住，被卷成一条闪亮的围巾回到下面的沙丘上。渐渐地，他明白了，这个世界，这个世界上的数十亿人，时间本身......都已经把他抛在身后。然而，在他的心中仍然存在着一丝温暖；他用自己剩下的每一份力量抓住了这一点。
"你们应该认为自己很幸运。" 这是他们被扔到这个沙漠星球时，警卫留给他们的话。在其他囚犯、流亡者、不合群者和两者之间的一切人中，他得到了稍好的待遇。他身上藏有七天的口粮，以及一把旧的军用枪。如果不是为了对付怪物，那就是为了保护自己不被其他为了生存而不择手段的人伤害。
自从他最后一次见到另一个灵魂以来，已经有13天了。他身上的士兵制服已经破烂不堪，沾满了躲在沙丘里的畸形小动物的血。他已经失去了肩膀上的一颗军星，胸前的另一枚徽章。但这又有什么关系呢。在他祖国的眼中，他是一个叛徒。登坂広臣，这个曾经受人尊敬的士兵已经变成了一个逃兵。
他已经休息够了，站起来时拍掉了一些沙子。望着远处浩瀚的太空，他再次被这个残酷的地方的美丽所迷惑。带淡紫色的银色月亮，如此巨大，以至于它的底部几乎低于地平线，静静地回望着他。広臣感觉到，在这个由沙子构成的星球上，时间的流动是不同的。即使已经过了13天（据他所知），他还没有长出哪怕是一丝的胡茬，也感觉不到强烈的饥渴。这无疑是有帮助的，因为他被留在这里等死。
他还是没能找到住所。在他看来，这里只是一片沙漠。也许是他的思想在作怪，也许是风继续改变着地理环境，扰乱了他的感知和方向。広臣在身体上并不感到疲倦，但战斗和时间似乎停止的宁静的对比，正在考验他的精神能力的极限。
他继续前行，背诵着他在年轻时从军时背诵的法律。即使这样也有一点帮助。他不知道自己走了多少公里后，他的感官提醒他注意到另一只野兽。因此，他扣动了枪机，准备行动，目光锐利地从眼前看似平静的沙丘上发现任何动静。在那里。一条带刺的细尾巴从沙地上射出，紧接着是生物的扭曲的身体。它的皮肤光滑如油，即使用国家发放的子弹也很难穿透。
広臣已经了解到，它们的弱点是绿色的眼睛，但之后也会在短时间内狂暴起来。在此期间，他必须小心翼翼地避开它带刺的尾巴的强大打击。但这一次，这只生物比他之前交手的那些更大，而他的速度不够快。这只野兽的身体大力地摇晃着，翡翠色血液在沙地上形成了圆拱形的宝石。広臣一边骂着一边试图闪开，但那条尾巴已经抓住了他。他的肩膀吸收了大部分，荆棘撕开了他的制服和他的皮肤，斜着掠过，在他的臀部结束。
他咆哮着再次举起枪，在人和兽都倒在沙地上之前，又一枪直接打穿了怪物的大脑。这是他的误判。他没有急救箱，没有地方可以养伤。那些荆棘把他割了多远？広臣紧紧抓住他肩膀上的伤口，挣扎着向前走。他的手被自己的血弄得又热又湿。每一步似乎都在吸吮他蹒跚的双脚。他的体温迅速下降，他的牙齿咬得咯咯响。只是一个小小的伤口... 他为什么会有这样的反应？
下一步，他一头栽进了沙子里。在接下来的一个多小时里，広臣在意识中飘来飘去，完全置身于大自然中。每次吸气时，他的肺部都在燃烧，就像他吞下了沙子一样。也许这只是因为毒药渗入他的系统。他轻轻地喘着气，眼睛在眼眶里打转，试图分辨出远处的动静。一个穿白衣服的人... 是船上的人之一，他们是来干掉他并拿走他的物资的？这就是他可怜的结局吗？
一只纤细的手正向他伸来。他看到那个身影在他面前蹲下。有人的指尖轻轻地触碰他的太阳穴；这是他多年来收到的唯一一丝善意。或者说，这也是一种幻觉。広臣再次闭上眼睛。
在沙漠星球的深处有一个石灰岩迷宫。这是几千年前居住在这里的文明遗迹。其中一座建筑隐藏得特别好。広臣就是被抬到那里的。他俯卧的身体被放在一块厚厚的编织地毯上，制服被剥去，然后一双温柔的手熟练地处理他的伤口。在整个过程中，他大部分时间都处于无意识状态，将自己交给了留给他的任何命运。他的伤口被清洗干净，涂上草药，然后用胶和油的糊状物密封。
在広臣休息的时候，他不时地听到安静的歌声。那是一种甜美柔和的男高音，让他感觉到一切都会好起来的。哦，那么这一定意味着他真的死了，去了天堂。如果他甚至配得上天堂的话。另一方面，他体内的痛苦不能让他平静地休息很久。他的血管似乎在燃烧，无论擦拭多少次，他的身体都被冷汗浸透了。最后，他完全清醒了，试图用肘部推起自己。这带来了巨大的痛苦，他喊了出来，又倒了下去。
有人冲向他，双手坚定而温柔地按住他的肩膀，直到他停止挣扎。在他面前的那个人穿着飘逸的白衣，黑色的眼睛闪闪发光。他在对他说什么，但広臣一个字都听不懂。他的心怦怦直跳，手指抽搐着想抓住这个陌生人并保护自己，就像本能教他的那样。但是那个人又伸出手来，拿着一条温暖湿润的毛巾放在他的额头上，擦掉聚集的汗水。
"谁......你是谁？"他的声音听起来很可怕。那人的眉头皱了起来，他的小胡子随着他嘴唇的微微噘起而移动。看来他并不明白这个问题。当一只手从他的脖子下滑过，抬起他的头时，広臣退缩了。一个碗的边缘被压在他的嘴唇上，在他看到那个陌生男人的鼓励性点头后，他慢慢地喝了起来。喝完后，该男子又展示了另一个碗，这次的颜色更深，碗底有残渣。他一边说着那种外星语言，一边做着各种手势，在身体上画着与伤口相同方向的对角线，模仿着一个怪物，从咆哮声到可怕的爪子......
"我知道了，我知道了。这是治疗我伤口的药？我相信你。我喝了它。" 広臣在这一戏法继续下去之前制止了他。那人回过头来对他笑了笑，显然是松了口气，并耐心地喂他喝下了苦涩的酒。之后又喝了一口水，他已经感觉好多了。或者说，大部分原因是他有某种庇护所，没有死，而且在他身边还有一个不想把他砍成碎片或一枪打穿他脑袋的活人。至少他希望不会。
那人相当专注地盯着他，仿佛在试图钻进他的灵魂。他的表情是焦虑的、恐惧的，但也是充满希望的......有一丝孤独和渴望？広臣对自己能从这个人的眼睛里看出这么多东西感到震惊。但也许是他自己的错觉。由于语言障碍，他不可能找到关于这个世界的许多有用信息。这个人肯定在这里呆了很久，因为他似乎已经找到了稳定的水源和食物来源。经过各种挣扎，他们至少设法交换了姓名。他告诉他叫他'臣'，因为広臣似乎太难了。他的名字是Rily。从他的手势中看出，他的名字来自一朵花。
由于Rily的照顾，他的伤口正在缓慢而稳定地愈合。虽然他肩膀周围的肉被打烂了，会留下一个难看的疤痕，但他对此无能为力。毒药需要更长的时间才能离开他的身体，所以他不得不暂时依靠Rily。然而，他们似乎很好地避开了空旷沙漠的危险，几个小时，或几天，或不管是什么，都在相对平静中度过。
他们花了很多时间一起探索这些古老的建筑。今天，Rily又带他去了一个看起来像竞技场的地方。在它的中心，有一个古老的仪器坐在那里。它曾经是闪亮的搪瓷黑的盖子已经被几十年的沙子磨掉了。他们就在这个表面上练习互相交流；将软金涂成薄薄的一层，在上面画出字符和形状。每当他们达成共识时，Rily就会欣喜若狂。他的笑声是那种使他的整个面孔都充满活力的笑声。起初，広臣发现这种开放性令人震惊，但现在，他在开始想一个人的笑声怎么会如此美丽。
"家。" 当他指着沙地上的图画时，広臣再一次说出了这句话。"我的家是......" 他轻轻拽了一下Rily的胳膊，然后他开始登上竞技场的台阶。Rily跟在后面。这个人的脚步出奇地灵活，跳起来比他快得多。公平地说，他还在从伤病中恢复。広臣抬头望着在顶部等待他的身影。他的丝质白袍的尾巴在他身后随风飘扬，高腰裤的褶皱优雅地落在长腿上。在这个神奇的时刻，他就像一个海市蜃楼，让他对自己从未拥有的东西感到怀念。
Rily把他扶到了最后一个台阶上。他们俯瞰着石灰迷宫，看向远处那颗熟悉的蓝绿色星球。広臣伸出手臂，指向他曾经居住过的那片地。
"哪里？" Rily向他逼近，当他试图跟随他的指向轨迹时，肩膀擦过。"就是这里。" 他握住他的手腕指向那个地方。Rily是如此之近，以至于他们的脸颊几乎是擦肩而过。他能闻到他身上微妙的气味；茉莉花的气味。"啊！" 当他终于找到它时，Rily听起来很高兴。"臣的家，在这里。"
"你的家在哪里？"
Rily回来仔细地看着他。他的笑容是忧郁的，因为他慢慢地摇了摇头。他不知道？他记不起来了？安静地，広臣道歉了，尽管他不确定Rily是否能理解。他们就这样静静地待在那里，欣赏着外面的世界。它继续在轴上旋转；如此真实，如此可感，但又如此遥远。一会儿，他能感觉到Rily的手羞涩地滑向他的手。他敢于偷看一眼，在白色头巾因风而滑落的那一毫秒里，他发现Rily的脸颊上出现了最华丽的粉红色。他只犹豫了一会儿，就轻轻地捏了捏那只纤细的手。
不，他不记得他的家在哪里。无论他多么想，多么努力，他的记忆都是空白的。臣是来自地球。他知道地球的情况。在石灰岩的废墟中，他曾经找到一个古老的图书馆。有几本可以挽救的书，他带了回家阅读。嗯，所谓阅读，主要是看图片，因为他一个字都看不懂。他通过这些书了解了各个星球的情况，了解了生活在这些星球上的生物，了解了他们享受的美食和庆祝的节日。
这小许减轻了他感到的孤独。
当然，每隔一段时间，人们就会被扔到这个沙漠星球上。臣并不是第一个。Rily并没有和他看到的每个人打交道。大多数人利用了他的善意，其他人则试图杀死他。过去他曾与其中的一两个人交上朋友，但他们从未停留过。Rily不知道这是否是因为他过早地表达了他渴望陪伴的热情。他也没办法。在这片荒芜而美丽的土地上已经过去了这么多年，只有钢琴和月亮是他的伙伴。
Rily希望臣会是那个留下来的人，因为他感觉到他的不同。当看到他躺在金黄色的沙漠上，浑身是血的那一刻，他的内心被什么东西猛烈地牵引着。他用颤抖的手指向他伸出手来，扫开黑色的流苏，看着他的特征。略显严厉的眉毛，强壮的颧骨，右眼下的痣，丰满的下唇......。他的心告诉他，"这就是那个人。这就是你一直在等待的那个人"。
他相信这种直觉，但同样害怕相信这种直觉。有时候，臣看他的眼神... 那种温柔，那种他们指尖之间的缠绵的触摸，就像一个颠簸，让他手表里的齿轮再次运转起来，让他世界里冻结的时间再次流动起来。有些晚上，他无法阻止自己看着臣睡觉。他们共享那张厚厚的地毯和编织的毯子，用彼此的体温来缓解这个星球夜晚的严寒。有时他很勇敢地伸出手来，在他们休息时握住臣的手。
外面的风在呼啸。他可以想象沙帘被卷起，在极光和摇摆的星星的背景上飘扬。沙丘可能会再次移动，也许会露出另一具被埋在那里几千年的焦黑骨架。他用拇指拂过臣的颧骨。"我想我......" 不，甚至不是'我想'。
"我已经爱了你这么久了。我希望能有办法告诉你，臣。"
他的声音是如此安静，几乎可以被前廊上的沙子滑动的耳语所掩盖。当然，臣不可能听到他的声音。在说出这些根深蒂固的感受后，他的身体感觉好像要冲破屋顶。他的心似乎被点燃了，脸色涨得通红。一个痛苦的声音从他的嘴唇里发出来，然后他转身背对着那个人，把自己蜷缩起来，试图让自己的呼吸恢复正常。
直到臣的手碰到了他的肩膀。他退缩了，立刻害怕自己被听到。即使臣不可能理解他的语言。臣叫他的名字，还有其他一些他不认识的词，但他能听出他语气中的担忧。他的手在他的肩膀上不停地加重，恳求他转过身来。
"你很伤心。为什么？" Rily的眼睛在黑暗中闪闪发光，他急促地吸了口气。他怎么能... 哦。他的拇指轻轻拂过他的眼圈，留下湿润温暖的短暂感觉。"臣... 要走？再见？" 他的声音在结尾处有点破裂。在毯子下面，他伸手去抓他，手指在他的衬衫面料中收紧。"不，你为什么这么说？我要留在这里。我就呆在这里和你在一起，Rily。"
他只抓住了 "不"、"留下 "和 "和你在一起 "等词。而这就是他所需要的一切。他所希望的一切，使他所遭受的孤独都值得。那架大钢琴破裂的象牙琴键上一定弹过多少首午夜蓝调？或者最后一次雨水亲吻这块贫瘠的土地？他几乎无法呼吸，因为臣回望着他，眼睛里燃起了决心和激情，仿佛它们是由珍贵的蓝宝石雕琢而成。不清楚是谁先靠过来的，但他们的嘴唇带着颤抖的渴望相遇。他的手指与臣的长发纠缠在一起，而臣的手臂则牢牢地缠住了他的腰。
他的吻就是生命本身。他的心从未感到如此充实。如果他没有躺下，他确信自己会像纸牌屋一样在热吻下崩溃。即使臣用他温暖、坚实的身体和轻柔的嘘声安慰他，眼泪还是不由自主地从他的脸颊流下来。他没有被允许有片刻喘息; 一条天鹅绒般的舌头在他的唇缝间游走，请求进入。Rily只是颤抖着让他进来，把自己拉近那个温暖的身体。当臣的舌头扫进来时，他发出的声音是欣喜若狂的。
他的眼泪最终消退了。颤抖的呼吸在彼此的脸颊上扇动，当他们的舌头笨拙地急切地移动时，牙齿发生了碰撞。他们就这样亲吻着，直到他们不得不分开呼吸，脸色因缺氧而变得通红，欲望也在不断涌现。臣利用那一刻，用手指慢慢地沿着他的腰部曲线，眼睛如此崇拜地凝视着他的五官，以至于他想知道为什么他一开始就需要怀疑。
"抱歉...... 这是不是太快了？我们应该停下来吗？" 臣问他；Rily一听到停止这个词，就激烈地摇了摇头。当这个夜晚是如此神奇的时候，就不应该。当他尽其所能地向他倾诉一切时，他就不打算停了。而在语言失败的地方，仍有另一种语言可做到。当他拿着臣的手掌按在他的衬衫之间打开的V字形上时，他的脸上露出了尴尬的神情。"再多，求你......" 臣所发出的那种回应的声音使他像熔融的玻璃一样融化了。
这座有风的房子，门口有沙堆的房子，是他们的避难所。外面夜风的呼啸是他们亲密关系的蓝调。两人都没有什么经验，但他们以同等程度的饥渴和温柔的爱意来探索对方。臣像个干渴的人一样沉浸在他赤裸的身体上，他的手掌在他的胸膛上游走，花了很长时间来追踪他的腰部曲线。Rily感到非常尴尬，但他的心在这种关注下飞扬。
他十倍地回报了这一点，把臣按下，以便他能在他身上下吻。从他眼睛下面的痣和下巴的曲线，从他的颈部到锁骨的突起，从他腹部的苍白疤痕到仍在愈合的新疤痕，他小心翼翼地用嘴唇和舌尖拂过每一个。这不可能持续太长时间，因为激动的臣把他拽了下来，把他们的位置颠倒了。他们的臀部在一起的第一次滚动让他肆意地呻吟着，身体拱起来迎接他。
他甚至没有想过臣是否会因为他也是一个男人而感到厌恶。他们相互接触的方式是如此自发，如此本能的。当然，在这个被上帝抛弃的星球上，两个人彼此相爱并没有什么不自然的地方。他的嘴在臣的嘴里寻找更多那种令人上瘾的、重重的吻，手伸到他们之间，握住他们的阳具。臣低声咕哝并推向他身体的方式完全令人满意。
他的手指挖着臣肌肉发达的前臂，他们同步移动，都毫无优雅性地追逐着高潮。他感觉到臣的牙齿在他脖子上的刺痛，但很喜欢这种感觉，把头转向一边，让臣尽情地在他身上留下痕迹。当他们彼此越来越接近边缘时，一串串的咒语和呜咽从他的嘴唇中落下。Rily确保仔细观察他的伴侣达到高潮；他是如此美丽，如此强大，他目光中的火焰足以把他变成灰尘。当他也达到高潮时，他崇拜地呼唤着他的名字，室内充满了他幸福的呻吟声。
仿佛能读懂他的心思，臣用他的鼻子点着他的鼻子，直到他们的嘴能再次相遇。由于他们身体里嗡嗡作响的快感，亲吻变得松懈和放纵。他们在那张小床上，在这个摇摇欲坠的家里，紧紧地拥抱着对方，直到精疲力竭的他们陷入甜蜜的梦乡。
広臣在床上翻了个身，手在寻找Rily腰部的美丽山谷，但却一无所获。他飞快地推起自己，以至于几乎没有愈合的伤口发出了虐待的叫声。
"Rily！" 他疯狂地呼唤着他，心一下子跌到了肚子里。如果Rily走了... 他就又什么都没有了。或者，昨晚只是一个由他自私的欲望而产生的梦？広臣猛拉上他的衣服，推开作为门的悬挂织物，呼吸快速而不均匀。
当他发现他在离房子不远的地方，提着一壶水的时候，他差不多可以松一口气倒在地上。Rily从他的表情一定是看到了什么而使他迅速放下水壶，冲到他身边。通过安抚的声音和放在他脸颊上的温暖的手，他意识到Rily刚才只是出门取回一些补给。
Rily把他们的手指绑在一起，一个柔和的微笑在他丰满的嘴唇上蔓延开来。他俯身在他的脸颊上亲吻，小胡子让他的皮肤微微发痒。広臣感觉到紧张感立即离开了他，为自己的惊慌失措悄悄地道歉，然后拉着他的后颈，要求他的嘴唇。他们静静地往回走，继续他们的日常工作，装满水盆，照看Rily种植的小菜园，编织丝绸，修理他们从废墟中抢救出来的任何东西。他喜欢和他在一起的所有这些时刻，尽管它们不起眼，也很平凡。因为他从来没有过可以享受这些东西的正常生活。
可能他们的日常任务花的时间比平时长，因为会经常被亲吻和触摸的欲望所淹没。昨晚发生得太快了，除了Rily回应的激情带来的灿烂的热度和幸福感之外，他几乎什么都记不起来。目前，这个男人正弯着腰，试图配置一台旧机器。当他看到他的情人时，広臣的手在织布机上静止；透过半透明的白袍可以看到Rily的腰部和臀部的凹陷，让他想起了当他降落在这个星球上时，吸引他注意力的光滑的金色沙丘。
広臣不再热衷于寻找答案了。在与Rily相处的这几个月里，他的时钟自然放慢了，与Rily的时钟一致。由于有另一个人的陪伴，他们似乎也能更有规律地睡觉。一切都落到了实处，仿佛是命中注定的。对于一个从未了解过真正友谊或爱情的士兵来说，Rily回应了他自己都无法说出的每一个祈祷。
风势稍稍平息。因此，他们又冒险出去了，回到了那个地方。在那里，三角钢琴微亮的盖子等待着下一个代表着他们同样渴望更深层次的相连，转瞬即逝的铭文。広臣看着爱人在星光下的轮廓。他的鼻梁是沙山的山谷，他的下巴和喉咙的精细曲线是瀑布。Rily把他的手放在自己的心上，然后放在他的心上。然后他指着他写在钢琴上的字，表情优柔寡断但充满希望。
広臣明白了。不知何故。这就是昨晚Rily对他说的那些话。这些话改变了一切。不......更准确地说，是让一切都变回原来的的样子的话语。当他微笑着对Rily说出自己的告白时，他感觉到他也明白了。风在空气中温柔地唱着，把他们情信的金色颗粒扫起来。它们像滑音一样闪闪发光，被带入长夜，仿佛在飞向俯瞰的月亮。
Fin。
art: by myself...