It's Just Another Day

Prologue  

Monday afternoon and Bondi Beach is almost empty. A couple of daring surfers were riding the huge waves despite the fairly cold weather, some tourist was having her picture taken while she fought with the wind as it kept on blowing her hair on her face, and on the footpath were two men watching the waves crash, an unopened beer can on their hand. 

“I hated my parents when we moved here,” said the man with curly blond hair. Although he looked a bit gaunt, one couldn’t deny his boy-next-door good looks. “They lied to me and told me we will be living by the beach, but we ended up in the Blue Mountains.” 

The man with straight black hair and distinctive Asian features chuckled. “Mine lied, too. My ol' man said he would just be here for some work, he had retired and we’re still here.” 

"Oldies love to tell us, kids, not to lie, but they all be lyin’ in our faces," the blond agreed.

"Before we knew it, we became those oldies and we lie like a rug too." 

They looked at each other and laughed their heads off. There wasn’t even remotely funny with their exchange, but they laughed until there were tears in their eyes. 

"Tell me the truth, did you hate me when I decided on this?" The blond asked.

The black-haired man hesitated to answer, and when he did, he chose his words carefully. "I was upset. You're one of the strongest people that I know and you just…just chose to give up,” he said with a shrug. “But later on, I realized, you are probably the one who suffered the most in making that decision. It hurts and it sucks that all I can do is support you." 

Fresh tears fell from both of their eyes. Both of them quickly wipe those tears, but they just won't stop. 

"Sorry, mate, sorry that you won't be able to join our honeymoon in Jeju."

"Baka, I never intended to come along." 

"Baka, we already bought your ticket." 

"I can't believe this, it's been years and your pronunciation of it still sucks." 

They laughed again. A brief smile for every tear.

"Yeah, I used to call you Hoe because I couldn't pronounce your name properly without enunciating it slowly." 

The one called Hoe laughed his head off. "Remember when Mrs. Robinson scolded you for calling me Hoe? And back then, I have no idea what it fucking meant in English."

"Yeah. But looking at you right now, you did turn to be one," the blond teased and their giggles were cut when an alarm rang.

The black-haired guy took out his phone to turn it off and looked apologetically at his friend. "I have a class in an hour."

"Go," the blond said and turned toward the lifeguard shack. "Carl will be done with his shift and Ji-Woo is on her way.  

The black-haired guy looked reluctant to leave but he just sighed. "Then, I'll see you later."

The blond nodded and smiled. "See you later, Hoe!"

"Later, bruv !" 

They gave each other a quick hug and said another round of goodbyes, and little did they know, it was going to be their last.

Chapter 1 

Hokuto listened to the pitter-patter of the rain while he gazed at the framed pictures on the wall; engagement photos of two of the most important people in his life, Brian and Ji-Woo. The photos were taken last winter, in happier times, when none of them knew that the wedding scheduled for next winter would be canceled. 

“Sorry for making you go all the way here,” Ji-Woo said as she placed refreshments on the table, "as you can see, I’ve been busy packing.”

Hokuto nodded, glancing at the boxes around the apartment. “You could have asked me for help or-”

“I want to do it on my own,” Ji-Woo said and handed him a croissant. “Or I guess I should say, packing our things is a very private moment for me.”

Hokuto gave a curt nod. “I understand. So, you’re heading back to Melbourne?”

“Yup,” she said as she started wrapping plates with newspapers. “These are advance wedding presents actually, I should have never taken them out of the box,” she added, sighing. 

“What about your job?”

“I resigned. I'm planning to go freelance for a while. How about you? How’s Uni?”

“Busy with midterms.”

“Oh! Good luck to your students.  You plan to fail anyone?”

“It depends,” he said, smiling mischievously.

“Ah! Silly me, I forgot why I called you here, I’ll Airdrop something.”

“What?” Hokuto asked and pulled out his phone. In mere seconds, he started receiving files. “What’s this?”

“40 voice messages that Bry left for you.”

Hokuto swallowed hard, the mere mention of Brian’s name could release waterworks he managed to lock up. 

“Voice messages?” He clarified with a smile. Trust his best friend, a sound engineer, to leave him voice messages. 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t listen to any of it.”

“I don’t mind even if you do. I’m sure you missed his voice.”

Ji-Woo smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I do, terribly so,” she said with a sigh as her eyes traveled to the pictures on the wall. For a while, none of them speak, Hokuto forced himself to finish his croissant, and Ji-Woo resumed packing, while the weather outside became ferocious, adding bleakness to their already doleful mood.

“Anyway,” Ji-Woo said after a while. “I think he left 40 messages, because of that belief that human souls can stay 40 days on earth before they go to heaven. This is the 9th day since his death, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you listen to his voice messages number 1 to 9.”

“I’ll listen to it one of these days-”

“No,” Ji-Woo snapped. “You will listen to it today, or tonight, but you will definitely have to do it before the day ends. You will never put off what you can do today. By tomorrow, you will listen to number 10 and so on until his 40th day.”

“Uhm-”

“You know what I regret the most?” She cuts in, her face turning red. “I should have resigned from work the moment I learned about his cancer. I should have spent more time with him. I should have become that clingy fiancé. Because now that he’s gone, I realized that nothing else matters if he’s not with me…”

Hokuto walked to Ji-Woo’s side and hugged her as she cried. He started crying, too. The pain of regret rained on them in the shape of knives, giving them unimaginable pain that would probably haunt them forever. 

***

"Hoks…if you’re listening to this, that means I’ve gone to the other side. That means I’m now a ghost and I can see you flog yourself off. Go get yourself a girl, mate. When was the last time you got a gobby? HAHAHAHA. Seriously mate, smog must be low at the moment, I think I can see the Milky Way and your Big Dipper. Big Dipper is in the Milky Way, right? Or not? But whatever, look out from your window, and every time you see the Big Dipper, I’ve become part of that now….So cheesy I’m getting bloody goosebumps. I’m not good with this. You’re the one who’s always good with words, mine’s just half swearin, but once I’m gone, will we still be looking at the same sky? Can I still see the Big Dipper over there and I’ll tell all the other spirits that the Big Dipper is my best mate’s name? Hokuto. I never want to forget that."

Hokuto just finished one recording and he had to pause, he probably cried more now than back at the funeral. Listening to Brian’s voice, which sounded like he was trying not to break down as well was too painful. How could he survive 39 more voice clips? It was too overwhelming for him that he followed Brian’s advice and opened his apartment window. The rain just finished and he could only sigh at the distant lights from Darling Harbour; he'd gotten so used to city lights, treating them like his very own galaxy that he never bothered looking up at the sky. He did as what Brian instructed, but massive clouds obscured his view, it would probably rain again, and definitely not the time for him to search for his namesake’s star. He took a deep breath, braced himself, and played another file. 

"Hoks…I was serious when I said you would join us on our honeymoon. We always wanted to backpack up there isn’t it? But we got so busy, we never thought we could find jobs right after Uni! Jeju would be our first destination because Ji-Woo said it’s sort of a Korean tradition for honeymoon, then we’ll go to Busan to meet her nana,  then to Japan where you will tour us to your hometown, then to Beijing because of bloody Wang Yibo whom Ji-Woo goes cray about. Then, we’ll head over to bloody Kim Jong-Un. HAHAHAHA…I can’t believe I’m dying and the only country I’ve been to is Bali…which is a country, right? I can no longer travel, Hoks, but you still can, and I hope you try to see the world…before the world sees you off."

***

“In one of my favorite novels, The Timekeeper, it reminds us that time is the great equalizer. Everyone has 24 hrs. at their disposal. What will you do with your 24 hours?” Hokuto asked, sighing as his class’s attention is now on the clock above him, all of them waiting for the clock to strike at 2 pm. 

“Answer that question with a 300-words essay.” His class’s attention is now back on him, some simply groan, while others openly whinge that they still have to review for midterms and so. 

“That will be my parting assignment to all of you,” Hokuto added and silence fell in his class. He smiled softly and continued, “I already prepared your midterm exam, but a new professor will be giving it to you next week and he will be the one to grade it as well. Earlier, I talked about time being a great equalizer, but there’s an even greater equalizer, and that’s death. You and I will die. So maximize all the time you have, and don’t bet on your youth, because once the time is up, we can never get it back. Goodbye and good luck with your midterms.”

The class started clapping as the bell rang, Hokuto waved them off and quickly stepped out of the room. Hokuto thought he would leave his job with a heavy heart, he loved teaching, and he really thought of it as his calling. But as he checked himself, he wasn’t that sad, or maybe because he had experienced a greater deal of sadness, and nothing had managed to top it off yet. 

His phone rang and he could only bite his lower lip seeing his older sister’s name. “Nee-sama” he answered.

“Are you out of your mind? Did you really resign?”

“Did you tell mom and dad?” asked Hokuto immediately. Although their parents are financially independent, they are also the usual immigrant Asian parents who would beat his ass once they knew that he resigned from his work. 

“Of course, I’m not crazy, I told them you’re going to an exchange teaching something.”

“Oh! That’s a good alibi. I never thought of that.”

“Don’t flatter me, brother, what are you planning to do?” 

Hokuto sighed and paused from walking. The weather had gotten colder, leaves started to turn in shades of yellow and red, while others simply fell. 

“I just want to take a break,” he said with a sigh, his eyes in the sky.

“I know you’re grieving, but don’t make permanent decisions because of this.” 

Hokuto sighed again. “It may not look like it, but I’m doing this more for myself,” he said slowly. He was never the type to talk about his feelings to his family. He found it embarrassing, if not, he saw it as a weakness.  

“I’m grieving, I acknowledge that, and I want to face this grief. I don’t want to keep on working and act like everything is okay, I want to give myself time; time for everything else I ignored before.” 

There was silence at the other line, Hokuto even thought he lost his sister. Until she spoke again, her voice close to breaking. “You will be back, right?” 

“Of course, I am.” 

“Call or send me a message every day, or if you’re such a bludger, you can just send me your coordinates, GPS, or whatever to show that you’re still alive.” 

“I will,” Hokuto promised. “I’ll send you pictures every day.” 

“Take care of yourself out there.” 

“I will. Look out after mom and dad.” 

“You know I will. If you’re free, drop by lunch tomorrow, the kids want us to celebrate St. Paddy’s like everyone else, so I’m making corned beef and baked cabbage and you can have Guinness with your brother-in-law.”

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

The phone call ended and Hokuto looked back at the sky. The next time he was looking at the same sky, he was on the plane to Jeju Island. 

Cobalt blue waters, volcanic rocks on white sand, and towering wind turbines from the distance are the picture Hokuto sent to his sister. Eleven hours of layover at Changi and he hasn’t had a wink, he had too much adrenaline earlier, but he could feel himself dozing off the moment he hits the sheets. 

“Hokuto Matsumura?” 

Hokuto turned and saw a tall and gorgeous man running toward him. He wore a jumper with a “Welcome to Jeju Island” printed on it and paired it with neon green jogger pants that made Hokuto reach for his sunglasses.

“Jesse Lewis, but you may call me Jesse,” he said, panting slightly as he offered his hand for a handshake. 

“Hokuto Matsumura,” he replied as they shook hands. 

“Hokuto. Cool,” Jesse said and quickly picked up his luggage despite his protests. “Ah, this area is called Gimnyeong Beach, the driver dropped you quite far off from the village’s entrance, we have to walk for a bit so let me carry this.” 

“B-but it's really heavy.” 

Jesse chuckled and flexed his biceps, which Hokuto couldn’t see underneath the jumper. Nonetheless, he could make out the thickness of his upper arms. “And that’s why I work out.” 

Hokuto simply apologized and let Jesse carry his luggage. Soon, they left the beach and entered narrow streets lined with either black stone walls or concrete.

“You’ll be seeing a lot of these rocks all over Jeju,” Jesse said. “Volcanic rocks are quite abundant here, basically, the entire place is raining with stones.” 

Hokuto nodded, making a mental note to read the free guidebook he got from the airport. 

“There are 30 murals around here, you’ll be staying long enough so check them all out,” Jesse said as he pointed to one of the murals made of metals. Hokuto took a snap of it, and when he looked closely, he concluded that it must be the village seen from afar. 

“Aside from the beach, all these murals around the village were made to attract tourists,” Jesse added as they walked more, Jesse greeted almost everyone they met on the road by name, and Hokuto was tempted to ask if Jesse was a politician or something. They reached a spacious part of the village, and Hokuto noticed a circular enclosure made of those volcanic rocks with a mountain of dry hay inside it. 

“That’s where they cook black pigs and share them with everyone. You should definitely experience it,” Jesse suggested and pointed to a large building to his right by the sea, “that’s the Harmony Hall, it’s like our very own tourism center, and you can go there to learn more about the village.” 

“I see and I will.” 

They walked a bit more, the sun rays were becoming harsh but the cold wind still made it tolerable. “The sea is quite calm, isn’t it?” Hokuto observed as they passed by a sea wall with wave breakers, and somehow, the tranquil made him miss the plunging breakers crashing on the shores of Bondi. 

Jesse nodded repeatedly. “It's calm during spring, you can expect some waves during summer or when there's a typhoon. But overall, pretty calm. And here we are!” Jesse said, making a grand gesture with his hand as they entered a gated compound. 

“Welcome to Retreat and Create!” Jesse announced. 

He gazed at his residence for the next three months, and he couldn’t help but be in awe. The 2-floor hanok was obviously new, but it radiated warmth with an old-style charm. A Japanese stone garden filled the courtyard, adding a feeling of Zen to the place, and a wooden porch swing hung on the corner patio. 

“Basically, this place was started as a retreat house for writers, but when it became sort of a fad to unplug from SNS, the owner decided to open it for everyone who wanted to disconnect, recharge, reflect, or basically anyone who wanted a safe and quiet space. The owner still runs a retreat exclusively for writers during winter though, because that’s the time when there are fewer tourists,” Jesse narrated as they went up to the second floor. “I received two boxes of your stuff three days ago, and I’ve put them in your room. If you’re planning to receive any more packages, please address them to the coffee house because most of the time, no one would receive them here. This is your room.” 

Jesse opened the wooden doors widely to his spacious ondol room. His room looked exactly how it was advertised on the site, yellow heated flooring, windows adorned with intricately styled papercraft, a coffee table on the side, and a flat-screen TV hanging by the wall. “The futon and pillows are inside the closet, you have your own toilet and shower, and as for the Wi-Fi password, it’s J-e-s-$-3.”

Hokuto nodded. “Right.”

“Do you want to take a rest, or do you want me to give you a quick tour of the place? House rules?”

“Uhm, I think I want to rest first.” 

“You should!” Jesse said. “After all, you won’t get to meet the other tenants at this time. Most of them are late risers and the only person who wakes up early is working at the coffee house. Ah, you are our 5th tenant.” Jesse pulled out his phone and showed him a QR code. “Scan mine so we can contact each other.” 

“Ah!” Hokuto took out his phone and scanned Jesse’s QR code. “I think I need to install the app first.” 

“Oh, you don’t have Kakao yet? You should install that, it also has Kakao Maps which has bus routes and bus times here in Jeju. And also add Papago, an excellent online translator.” 

“I will.” 

“Well, I have to go somewhere. Rest well.” 

Hokuto slid down on the floor as soon as he closed the door. The floor was warm enough that he could sleep without a futon, the room and the place were quiet, and he felt like he was the only person in the guesthouse. 

“So what do I do now?” He is tired and lost. He might have told his sister that he wanted to rest and travel. He talked big to his students about maximizing their time, but in reality, he had no idea what he wanted to do. 

He decided to play one of Brian’s older Brian’s voice files and it wasn’t long before his best friend’s voice filled his room before he fell asleep. 

***

Hunger woke Hokuto, he glanced sleepily at his phone, and he immediately got up seeing it was 45 minutes past 9 in the evening. 

“I slept for like half a day,” he murmured and blindly reached for the switch to turn on the light. He opened his window and quickly shut it as he could feel ice on the wind. He only experienced winter in Sydney and it should be spring now in Jeju, but what he felt from opening the window could probably give him frostbite. 

He ignored the hunger pangs and opened the box he shipped from home, thankful to Ji-Woo for giving him an insulated parka. He left his room not knowing where to go, the guest house looked mystical with warm lights around he just had to pause and take in everything he saw beyond the darkness of the night. The unmistakable smell of chili powder wafted toward him as he reached the courtyard, he saw a door slightly ajar, and when he took a peek, he assumed that this must be the common room. On his left side was a huge white L-shaped sofa facing an unlit fireplace, there was also a reading nook with a couple of bean bags and large cushions. In the middle and in front of him is a rustic-style picnic table, and on his right side is a glossy contemporary-styled kitchen.

His tummy grumbled and he didn’t think it was that loud, but the man by the stove turned to face him. 

“You are?” The man asked in an almost hypnotic way, or maybe it wasn’t his voice, but his face that left one mesmerized.

“Uhm-”

“-you must be the newest tenant?” He cuts in, a ladle by his hand that he kept on blowing.

“Yes, I am.”

“If you’re hungry, I made too much noodles, we could share.”

Hokuto was about to decline, but the man returned his attention to the pot of noodles and started cutting leeks into it. 

“Uhm, is there anything I can help you with?” Hokuto asked as his stomach grumbled once more. 

“You can prepare the bowls,” he said with a glance back at him. “It’s on that shelf with a green sticker.”

“Okay.” Hokuto quickly moved and gathered what was needed. 

“Spoon and chopsticks on the first drawer below,” the man instructed and Hokuto found those too. He quickly set up the table as the man arrived with a steaming pot of noodles.

“This is a new brand, I never tried it, but it’s quite popular because of the cheese powder,” he said as he filled Hokuto’s bowl. 

“Thank you for this. T-this is quite loaded,” he said after noticing that aside from leeks, the instant noodles also have ham, sausage, egg, and cabbage.

“That’s normal around here,” the man said and started wolfing down his noodles after he said his grace. “Mmmm…it’s good!” He said, his eyes wide, and Hokuto thought they sparkled as well.

Hokuto nodded and ate his share. He didn't know whether it was because he was just hungry, but the ramen was insanely good. One of the best he ever tasted. They merely nodded in agreement with one another, and the next few minutes were spent with nothing but the sound of slurps and sips, until the satisfying burps. 

“I only bought one of these, now I need to buy a dozen,” the man said and Hokuto quickly nodded.

“It’s…superb!” Hokuto said as he rubbed his tummy. 

“Ah, I’m sorry, but I need to get back to my room-”

“Leave the cleaning to me, it’s the least I could do.”

The man smiled. “Thank you.”

“No, I should be the one thanking you,” Hokuto insisted. 

“Uhm, by the way-” They both chuckled realizing they said the same thing. 

“You go first,” the man said. 

“Err, I’m Hokuto.”

The man extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Hokuto. I’m Taiga.”

***

Hokuto just finished washing the dishes when he heard two people arguing and the door to the common room opened. 

“I told you — oh, Hokuto!” 

Hokuto gave a curt nod to Jesse. “Good evening.” 

The man beside Jesse smiled. “You must be the newest tenant? Hi, I’m Yugo.”  

“Hello. I’m Hokuto.” 

Jesse raised the two plastic bags he was carrying. “Fancy midnight snacks? We have fish cakes, dried squid, and soju.”

“I’m fine. I-I’ve already eaten,” he said and the two looked embarrassed to be rejected that he quickly added, “but I don’t mind drinking a bit.” 

They both smiled and said, “cool!” 

“Glad you found the kitchen,” Jesse said after a while. In the end, Hokuto also ate some fish cakes because it was so good. He must be really hungry if he found everything this good. 

“Someone was cooking ramen earlier and that’s how I found out.”

“Ramen? So you’ve just met Taiga,” Yugo said and refilled his shot glass. 

Hokuto nodded and downed his glass. He had no idea how many shots he drank, but his body started warming up so he had to remove his parka. 

“Taiga is in room no. 4, it’s also on the second floor,” Jesse mumbled while he fought with the unpleasantly chewy dried squid, “first room after reaching upstairs. Kouchi here is in room no. 2, second room from the main entrance, mine’s room no.1 beside his.”

Hokuto was about to ask who Kouchi is, but Yugo must have read his mind. 

“My full name is Yugo Kouchi, and he’d rather call me Kouchi.”

Hokuto nodded and Jesse continued, “the room beside Taiga is Juri’s, he went to a festival in the other town so you’ll probably see him tomorrow. Then, you're in no. 6, and below Juri’s room is Shintaro’s.”

“If you see someone reading a book on the swing, that’s Shintaro,” Yugo said. “He’s on a ‘no-speaking rule’, so better to ignore him.”

He wanted to ask what was this “no speaking rule” but Jesse interjected, “Ah, the laundry and dryer room is beside Kouchi’s room. Laundry should only be done in the morning, if you want to hang your clothes to dry, leave them in the courtyard, and finally, as you can see, this is the common area. I have a strict ‘clean as you go’ policy, and if you’re going to bring in food, make sure to label it, and never steal others' food.”

Hokuto shook his head. “I won’t even think about it.” 

“Cleaning your room is also your responsibility,” Jesse added. “You can bring in guests but they are not allowed to sleep over.”

“I don’t even have guests to bring.”

Jesse smiled widely, his face reddish, and Hokuto could tell that he is now drunk. “And those are the house rules.” He yawned and stretched. “I’m sleepy, good night.”

“Good night,” Hokuto said and he and Yugo watched Jesse go straight to the couch and lie down. “Is – is he sleeping there?”

Yugo nodded. “He’s the first person who breaks all the house rules, don’t worry about him. If you visit the coffee house tomorrow, your first coffee is free.”

Hokuto smiled, even though it was his first time meeting Yugo, he found him easy to talk to, and he had this radiating persona as though you could tell him anything.  “Thank you. Where is this coffee shop?” 

“By the beach, near the first wind turbine, you will see from here. Thus, it’s called Gentle Breeze Cafe. ”

“I’ll definitely go there tomorrow, uhm-”

“If you want to go back to your room, go, I’ll clean up here.”

“I want to help, but I still need to unpack.”

“No big deal, good night.” 

“Good night, too. It’s nice meeting you.”

“Likewise.” 

Hokuto headed upstairs, he could hear guitar strums coming from Taiga’s room, and as he returned to his room, he felt lighter compared to his mood when he arrived. Maybe food gave him a false sense of happiness, or maybe he was just hungry all along. 

It’s now 11:30 pm in Jeju according to the roaming clock of his phone, while Down Under, it’s now 1:30 past midnight. Hokuto didn’t think time zones were such a marvel as he played file no. 20; the 20th voice file, and 20 days since Brian’s death. 

“One voice message a day, I’m on the right track to 40 days,” he murmured, the clip playing in the background, while he thought of ways to make his room look like his own. He took out everything from the boxes and his suitcase until it occupied half of his room. He first arranged his books on the coffee table, all 10 books he brought last year that were all in pristine condition for he had never read them. He followed them with 3 folding picture frames, the 1st frame contained his family picture from when he graduated from Uni, his parents looked so unimpressed with him being a Summa Cum Laude, and the 2nd frame is a picture of his two nephews wearing hakama for Children's Day, and on the 3rd frame is a picture of him and Brian during their teenage years when they thought it was cool to be overly tanned, have one part of their eyebrow shave, and the worst of all, they had their tongues pierced. 

Remember when we got our tongue pierced and it got infected so we have to take antibiotics? Why did we even think that was cool? HAHAHA. Once you have your own kids, even if they call you uncool, never ever allow them to get tongue piercings. Never, Hoks! 

Voice clip no. 20 has ended and Hokuto hasn't gotten far in arranging his stuff, he didn’t know why he even brought his high school yearbook with him, but it got him distracted while he cringed and laughed at their yearbook captions. They were all given 150 characters like in Twitter and of all the things he could think of, he really wrote, “you’re all gonna regret not dating me in high school”, even though they went to an all-boys school, and when Brian saw his caption, he just had to change his to “Hokuto, I’m sorry for rejecting your feelings.”

He could only heave a sigh once his laughter died down, he wasted almost 2 hours checking out his yearbook. It was fun to reminisce about their past, until the present cut through like a knife, making him remember that Brian is no longer part of his present and even his future.

“Can I have an Iced Americano?” Hokuto ordered. He hadn't finished the latte he ordered, but after 30 minutes of watching the nearby wind turbine, he overheard everyone else who came in only ordered one thing, an Iced Americano. It was as though the rest of the menu became invisible. 

“Joining the Americano bandwagon, huh?” Yugo said as he prepared the coffee. 

“Well, it’s not like I haven’t had it before, but everyone seems to be buying the same thing.” 

“Basically, Koreans are like Italians, they only like espresso — but with ice. Here’s your Iced Americano.” 

Hokuto received his drink and immediately took a sip, bold and bitter the way he remembered it. “It tastes the same.”

Yugo chuckled. “What do you expect?”

“One large Iced Americano, please.” 

Hokuto moved away from the counter as a thin man with piercings and a heavy set of gold jewelry made his order.  

“Can I eat this here?” He asked, raising a black plastic bag at Yugo. “Hangover soup.”

“Even if I say no, you will still eat it here, just eat it quickly. Ah, Hokuto this is Juri, Juri this is Hokuto, the newest tenant.” 

The guy turned to face him, he did look like he was hungover as he grinned. “Yo! Have you already seated?”

Hokuto directed Juri to his seat and as soon as they sat, Juri removed the plastic bowl lid, and the pungent smell of entrails permeated around them. 

“Look at that ox’s blood,” Juri said, showing Hokuto the darkened cube delicacy, “do you want some?”

Hokuto immediately shook his head. It was an odd thing to see someone eat an ox's blood inside a coffee shop.

“I understand, it takes an acquired taste,” Juri said and ate a huge serving of ox’s blood as though he was teasing Hokuto. “Yum!”

Hokuto simply smiled while he took a picture of his Iced Americano with the wind turbine and the sea as his backdrop. He quickly sent the photo to his sister, his proof that he is still alive for the day before he poured the remaining contents of his latte into his Iced Americano. He realized he preferred his coffee with milk and sugar after all. 

“So why did you resign from your work?” Juri asked after a while. He noticed that Juri stopped eating, the soup was all but gone but the blood and innards were still there. 

Hokuto looked at Juri with surprise. “How did you know I resigned from my work?”

“The minimum stay at Retreat and Create is 3 months. I doubt there’s a boss that is generous enough unless you’re sick or something.” 

This time, Hokuto genuinely smiled. “You’re right. Well, I need to recharge.”

Juri also smiled his eyes at the scenery outside. “Recharge? Aren’t we all?”

"Hmmm, I noticed that Yugo is all alone at the counter, what time do his helpers arrive?"

"Helpers? He doesn't have one, he does everything."

Hokuto almost choked on his coffee. "Really?" 

"Well, it's not like the place is that busy,” he said, glancing behind him and Hokuto could agree that the shop was almost empty. Most customers would just buy their coffee as a “to go”, or drink it by the beach instead of inside the shop. 

“He told me the busiest season is summer, the rest is so-so, and they even closed during winter. As you can see, this area is known for its beach and windmills, but it's not like this is the only area with beaches and windmills."

Hokuto nodded. "Uhm, what about Jesse? I thought he also works here."

"Jesse? I think he helps out during closing, but he's too busy minding other people's business."

"Huh?"

Juri smiled. "There's a village chief and there's the little village chief, and that's Jesse's role."

"Ahhh…he looks too young for the role."

"He is! But he's a charmer and everyone adores him," he said as he yawned and stretched his arms, "now I'm sleepy. Are you heading back to the guest house?"

"Ah, not yet, I'm planning to walk this coastline." 

"Oh, then, I'll see you later." 

"See you later." 

Hokuto left the coffee shop with Juri, but he walked in the opposite direction of the village. He wore his sunglasses and started his leisurely and aimless walk; traversing the soft white sand, craggy black rocks, slippery green moss, and dry grass. He began to regret wearing his new flip-flops as he started getting blisters. 

When he got tired and noticed that his supposed leisure walk was fast becoming a work-out, he sat on the rock and closed his eyes. He let out a deep breath and let the gentle roar of the waves, the unique whoosh of the ocean wind, and the mechanical swish of wind turbines become his background music. Brian would surely love this place, he’d been into ASMR before it even became a thing. The nerd in him would surely “collect” these sounds as part of his database before he would dismantle and study the tiniest difference from similar sounds, and he would excitedly tell Hokuto his findings. And when Hokuto tells him that he couldn’t tell the difference, Brian would pick on his huge ears and tell him it was such a waste if he couldn’t appreciate sounds. 

“Sounds are beautiful, bruv.” He let a tear escape as he lay down on the rocks and let the sounds of nature lull him to sleep. 

***

“Hokuto?! Did someone push you to the sea?” Jesse shouted when he ran to Jesse on his way home, a bunch of elderly behind him looking concerned over Hokuto’s state of sogginess. 

“I’m fine,” he said and sneezed. 

“A-are you sure?” Jesse asked. “What happened anyway?” 

“Uhm…” he glanced embarrassingly at everyone, he could never admit that he fell asleep, the high tide rushed in, and some passing students saved his ass. 

“Let’s all take him to grandma Kang’s home!” One of the elderlies said and before Hokuto could say anything, he was whisked to this grandma Kang’s home, he was given a towel and someone else’s old clothes, and before long, he found himself dressed like the grannies seated with Jesse on the patio. 

“This is pretty comfortable,” he said shyly, the faded flower-printed top and bottom were warm and soft, and all the grandmas smiled after Jesse’s translation. 

“I’m really sorry for this trouble,” he added as another granny served him tea. 

“She brewed it from jujube and pear,” Jesse translated before Hokuto took a sip. 

“Mmmh, this is good! I don’t think I ever had this in my life,” Hokuto exclaimed. “It’s warm but also refreshing.” 

The grannies must have liked what he said because they started bringing out food that Hokuto wasn’t entirely familiar with.

“They say you’re handsome and you have a lovely nose,” Jesse again translated as one granny fed him what looked like sauteed greens. 

“Those are spinach seasoned with soy sauce, sesame seeds, and a bit of chili,” Jesse said as Hokuto let himself be fed until he was full again.

***

“Ah…I think you’re going to be my rival in the village,” Jesse said as they walked home, both of them carrying a stack of plastic storage containers filled with side dishes. “I’ve been constantly voted as the most handsome man.”

Hokuto smiled sheepishly and shook his head. “Nah, I’m just a new face here, but I can assure you, the first time I saw you, I thought you were a model.” 

Jesse’s eyes widened. “I know right? I fit the bill.” 

They chuckled and Hokuto added, “I’m sure they said the same thing to your other tenants.” He thought about Juri’s rugged good looks, Yugo’s youthful glow, and Taiga’s captivating beauty; there was no way the locals hadn't gushed on those guys. 

“If you mean Kouchi, yeah, they all find him sweet and dependable.”

Hokuto nodded. “I met Juri earlier.” 

“Oh, you’ve met Juri? Lucky you, most villagers haven’t seen a lot of him since he is always at some festival or party in another town. Ah, yeah, you’ve also met Taiga! Taiga doesn’t go out of the guesthouse and if he does, it should be after dark. And there’s Shintaro, he goes out like a K-pop idol; mask, cap, and all! Speaking of the devil.”

Jesse pointed to the guy on the swing, he was wearing shorts and a hoodie while he read a book with his legs up.

“Hi,” Hokuto greeted.  

The guy looked back at him, his thick eyebrows made him look intimidating, but his looks carry a boyish charm. He gave him and Jesse a curt nod and resumed reading.

“As Kouchi said last night, Shintaro has a ‘no speaking rule’ so don’t think he’s rude or something.” 

“I understand. I might actually try that, it sounds therapeutic.” 

They head to the kitchen and Jesse takes out empty food containers from the cupboard. “We transfer these and return those containers to the grannies.” 

“Ah, let me do it. I have nothing to do anyway,” Hokuto volunteered. 

“Okay, I have to go somewhere, just leave these containers here and I’ll return them later.” 

“Uhm, I don’t mind returning these, I have to return these clothes as well.”

“Are you sure?” Jesse asked, looking bewildered. 

Hokuto nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.” 

Jesse still looked perplexed. “I think I misjudged you, I really thought you'd be locking yourself in your room the moment you got here.” 

Hokuto smiled. “I also want to do that, but certainly not today.” 

“Okay, whatever makes you float.”

Hokuto frowned, trying not to laugh. “You mean, whatever floats your boat ?” 

“Don’t mind it, being trilingual is hard enough. I’ll see you later, Hokuto.” 

Hokuto giggled. “Yes, see you later.”

***

“We need to send your phone to Busan, it might take 1-2 weeks, but we’ll contact you once it's done.” 

Hokuto could only sigh and left the guesthouse contact numbers, as well as Jesse’s, at the store. It was wise of him to back up all of his phone’s contents to his cloud and hard drive before he left Sydney, but it was still unwise of him to let saltwater get into it after his stupidity to take a nap on the rocks. 

He decided not to buy a temporary phone since it’s not like he talked to a lot of people; Brian was gone, Ji-Woo is also busy, his former colleagues and students could shoot him an email for anything important, and he could deal with his sister later. He couldn’t help but smile as he left the store, recalling how he shocked his colleagues when he said that his phone could last 24 hours without charging. They thought he was using a different brand, but it was just because he rarely ever used it. 

He was about to leave the mall when he saw an advertisement about a certain sale, and he didn’t have to think twice when he went in and purchased a compact camera with DSLR capabilities. He wanted to be that pretentious tourist who carries a camera around but couldn’t make a decent shot. He decided to test the camera while he walked around the mall, pointing it at anything until he noticed a familiar guy carrying two grocery bags. He called for his name and immediately took a shot. 

“Oh! It’s you,” said Taiga when Hokuto approached him. 

“Uhm, I-I’m sorry about that,” he said quickly upon seeing the discomfort on Taiga’s face. “I was just testing my camera. I didn’t mean to startle you or anything.”

“I’m fine, I’m just surprised.”

“Errr, let me help you with that,” Hokuto said, taking a bag, “wow, you really bought a dozen of those noodles.” 

Taiga still looked fretful as he feigned a smile. “Yeah,” he said and looked at his watch, “the bus will be here soon, we should leave.” 

They rode the bus in awkward silence, Taiga steered him to sit at the back. “It’s a busy time and it’s going to be full for the next stops. It’s quieter here,” he reasoned as they sat. Hokuto quickly erased the pic he took earlier, he wanted to show it to Taiga but he deemed it unwise, and Taiga seemed uninterested in his inner unrest while he put on his Air Pod, and kept his eyes on the dusk outside. 

Hokuto's fingers fidgeted with his camera while his eyes were busy observing the happenings inside the bus. It did become full by the next stop; office workers on their way home, students who were busy with their phones, a few grannies wearing almost the same garment Hokuto wore earlier, and a bunch of tourists who looked lost but also fascinated. Hokuto closed his eyes and let the noise drone; sounds from games being played, lively chatters from the grannies, the low roar of the bus engine, and above it all was the gentle humming from Taiga, an unfamiliar tune Hokuto wished he could ask him about. 

***

They met Jesse and Yugo as they got down at the bus stop. Jesse excitedly ran toward Taiga, who didn’t share Jesse’s enthusiasm as he evaded Jesse’s attempt to hug him. 

“What about your phone?” Jesse asked instead, wrapping an arm around him while Taiga walked ahead of them. 

“They’ll send it to Busan.” 

“Oh!” Jesse and Yugo both reply, disappointment on their faces. 

“I have an extra phone if you need one,” Yugo volunteered. 

“It’s okay,” Hokuto quickly declined. “I’ll use this chance to truly disconnect. I brought my laptop with me, I can still use that to chat with anyone back home.” 

“If you say so.”

“Ah, I gave them your number, just in case,” he told Jesse.

“No problem,” Jesse said with a grin. 

“Ah, the XP man!” one kid exclaimed as they circled Taiga, all looking up enthralled as though they saw a fairy.

“XP man?” Hokuto whispered, which made Kouchi chuckle. 

“Jesse made-up this story about Taiga that the reason he only goes out during the night is that he suffers from this disease called XP, which could kill him if the sun rays penetrated his skin.” 

Jesse obviously finds his story funny that he didn’t care even though Taiga’s eyes were shooting daggers at him. 

“Isn’t that from a movie?” Hokuto asked as they resumed walking.

“It was also a drama, Taiyou no Uta ,” Jesse had the gall to add while Taiga quickened his pace, the distance between them becoming larger. 

“Stop teasing him,” Yugo chided and chased Taiga, whose steps had slowed when Yugo caught up to him and placed an arm around him.

“You closed the coffee shop quite early tonight,” Hokuto commented. 

“We always close early,” said Jesse, “we only close late when it’s inventory night.”

Hokuto nodded.

“Besides, we will be having beef tonight as a welcome for your arrival,” Jesse said, and added in a much louder voice, “I bought lots of beef tongue.” 

“I feel bad, I should have bought something for tonight,” Hokuto said. 

“Don’t mind it.”

They arrived at the guest house and there must be something about beef that made people sociable. Taiga immediately prepared the grill pan upon arrival, Shintaro brought down his book and ran to the kitchen upon hearing the sizzle of beef, while Yugo prepared the side dishes, and Hokuto helped in microwaving the instant rice. 

“Is Juri home?” Yugo asked Jesse. 

“Let me check,” he made a call and in mere seconds, Juri came running to the dining area. 

“Oooh! Look at beef uniting people!” Juri commented as he came in. “I don’t want to sit across from Taiga, I need to wear sunglasses because he’s too bright.”

Taiga scoffed as Juri grinned, his eyes remained on Taiga as he ate, while Shintaro and Yugo took turns grilling the beef. The fizzle of beef filled their silence, Hokuto thought he should say something since this should be his “welcome party” but no one seemed interested in whatever speech he had, and he didn’t care either, he preferred this silence over possible questions they might ask him. 

“Ah, before I forgot,” Jesse said when all the beef had been consumed, “let’s all welcome, Hokuto, to Retreat and Create .” 

They clapped politely; Jesse, Yugo, and Juri clinked their glasses with his, Taiga giving him a soft smile, and Shintaro patted his shoulder. The dinner ended just like that, and before he knew it, Yugo and he were left to clean up everything. 

“Uhm, thank you,” Hokuto said while he rinses the dishes. 

“You’re welcome and it’s nothing, we always do this when there’s a new tenant,” Yugo said.

“Uhm…aside from that, thank you for not asking about me, like why I’m here and so on.” 

Yugo smiled and shrugged. “No one asked you anything, because no one wants to be asked back. We’re all the same here, we don’t want to talk about ourselves.” 

The next time Hokuto woke up, he found himself in the middle of a yellow sea, thankfully dry, while a light powdery smell lingered in the air. He must be turning to an old man, as he kept on falling asleep just about anywhere, but what could he do? A wooden bench in the middle of a canola field, if that didn’t induce someone to sleep, then that person is dead inside. Or who was he kidding? His body clock had been whacked since he arrived in Jeju and he'd been sleeping around 2 to 3 in the early morning. Worse, he slept that late but he would still be waking up as early as 7 or 8.

He did a quick stretch while his eyes roamed around the valley, it was a good decision to see the canola flowers in Eongdeongmol Valley, although the rapeseed wasn't as lush as those from other areas, the valley is quite secluded and visitors were few. He was able to snap pretty pictures without someone in the background doing TikTok or posing for IG, and now he sounded such a boomer for complaining. 

He got up before he got tempted to lay back on the bench, now that he didn’t have a schedule to follow, he found himself a bit lost. He also began to think that schedules were a conditioning system invented by ruthless capitalists to keep their employees working. Basically, not having a schedule had a bad effect on him, he became cranky and depressed so he started acting based on his impulses; like buying the camera, only eating when he felt stomach pains, and immediately Googling about canola fields when some kids handed him a flower when he visited Harmony Center, sleeping in places where he just felt like sleeping, and he even bought a bunch of hairtail from an old woman just because he felt bad. 

“What would I do with this?” He asked himself as he got out of the taxi. He initially thought the hairtails were eels, not that it would change anything since he didn’t have any idea how to cook either, but he felt it was such a waste. He walked slowly back to the guest house, hoping to meet any of the villagers so he could give them the hairtails as a gift, but alack and alas, it must have been everyone’s siesta as he didn’t see a single soul. So when he saw Shintaro on the swing reading a book, he thought he found the answer to all his problems.

"Uhm, do you know how to cook hairtails?" 

Shintaro looked at the black plastic he was carrying, before he nodded, and took it from him. Hokuto thought of it as shallow, but he was relieved that the hairtails were gone. He sat on the space Shintaro vacated, and checked the book he’d been reading. 

“Love in the Big City by Sang Young Park,” he read and checked the summary. He didn’t think Shintaro to be the kind of person who read love stories, queer love stories even, and he found it cute. He placed the book down and went inside. The pungent smell of fish made him pinch his nose for a bit, but he was impressed to see Shintaro’s knife skills as he watched him clean and cut the fish before he started preparing the ingredients. Although he had no idea what Shintaro plans to do, he found himself in eager anticipation.

“Uhm, is there anything I can help you with?” 

Shintaro shook his head and motioned for him to take a seat. 

“Uhm, then, can I take a quick shower instead?” 

Shintaro looked delighted with his suggestion and gave him a thumbs up. Hokuto smiled and went upstairs, passing by Taiga’s and Juri’s room which has always been quiet, and he probably had to ask Shintaro to send everyone an invite via their GC since he found it embarrassing to be knocking on their doors. 

When he returned to the kitchen, the pungent smell was gone and was replaced with a delectable aroma he didn’t think was possible from an unfamiliar fish. 

“Uhm, should we invite the rest?” He asked and Shintaro showed him the GC on his phone. “Oh, I see,” he mumbled. Taiga said he was not hungry, Juri answered with a sleeping emoji, Yugo asked to leave him some, while Jesse sent a pic of the lunch he had. 

“Well, then, itadakimasu,” he said and scooped the quarter of the hairtail on his rice along with the reddish sauce mixed with leeks and chilis. The fish was too slender, and Hokuto found it quite cumbersome to remove the bones, but when he finally did and ate it, imaginary fireworks burst from his head.

“I don’t know what you call this dish, but it’s excellent!” He said, for the lack of a better word to describe the meal.

Shintaro smiled and showed him his phone again. 

“ Galchi jorim or braised hairtail,” Hokuto read and grinned at Shintaro. “This one should be called Food for the Gods .” 

Shintaro smiled shyly and placed a radish on top of his rice, and not to be outdone, Hokuto also placed a piece of hairtail that he had de-bone on Shintaro’s rice. They chuckled at what they did, or maybe it was just Hokuto because he surely didn’t hear any sound from Shintaro although he was smiling as he ate. 

“You know what, I like silence, but I don’t think I can do this level of silence. I think you’re admirable,” Hokuto gushed and Shintaro turned a bit red before dismissing him with a shake of his head. 

“Ah! I don’t want to be that annoying person who takes pictures of their food, but I really need to take this one. I’m sure my sister would love to see this. Is it okay?” 

Shintaro nodded and made a quick touch-up of the dish he made, before Hokuto took a couple of snaps that ended with a selfie of him, Shintaro, and their braised hairtail.

***

Hokuto spent his after-lunch hours staring into the sea, he remembered the priest’s sermon at Brian’s funeral, on how grief comes in like waves. Sometimes it would be strong and fast that he wouldn’t have time to breathe, and sometimes, it would be strong but slow, giving him time to breathe and recover. Today was definitely one of those slow days, he could think about Brian without thinking that he just wanted to follow his friend. Or maybe having a full stomach made him more optimistic about his life outlook, and when he burped, he was shocked to see that he finished half of the jar of dried persimmons.

He turned when he heard another window opening, Taiga looked like he was just woken up and he couldn’t fully open his eyes as he looked toward Hokuto. 

“Good morning,” Taiga greeted. 

Hokuto glanced at his watch and saw that it would be 5 in the afternoon soon. “G-good morning,” he repeated nonetheless. “Uhm, do you want some dried persimmon?” He asked, extending the jar over his window. 

Taiga simply shook his head as the window between them opened, making Hokuto drop the jar on the ground, and it shattered into pieces. 

“Shit!” He muttered, and just like Taiga, Juri looked sleepily back at him. 

“Is that my fault?” Juri asked, his voice coarse. 

Hokuto shook his head. “No, it’s mine. I’ll clean it up.” 

“You better move fast before we leave.” 

Hokuto frowned. “Leave where?” 

“We’re going to the Fire Festival.” 

“Fire Festival?” He repeated. 

“I don’t think he’s going,” Taiga said, still looking out of sorts. “He didn’t reply in the GC.” 

“Oh, sorry for assuming,” Juri said.

“Uhm…I don’t have my phone back yet so I never saw this GC. What about it?”

“Ah, everyone is going to the Fire Festival at Bongseong-ri, Kouchi managed to rent a trailer van. Do you want to go with us?” 

“When you say everyone, as in everyone?” 

Juri nodded. “Yep, everyone. But of course, I’m not forcing you or anything, feel free to stay here.” 

There was nothing malicious with what Juri said, Hokuto wasn’t even the type to go FOMO, but he felt like he would miss big time if he wouldn’t go with the guys. 

“Sure, I’ll go with you guys.” 

***

“Is this safe?” Hokuto asked for the nth time while they watched the procession of torches. It still didn’t make sense to him that the Fire Festival was taking place around Saebyeoloreum, which is a volcanic cone, a volcanic cone! 

“It’s a defunct volcano,” Yugo repeated for the nth time, but it did nothing to assuage his fears. “They do this to wish for a good harvest, and good health, and of course, did you hang your wishes on the daljip ?”

Hokuto nodded before he started taking snaps. He might as well start acting as that pretentious photographer who couldn’t land a decent night shot. The procession stopped, and the drums began to beat differently like a slow roar of a dragon after being roused from his sleep. The participants who were holding the torches started lighting the “moon house” in front of them, the fire crackled as mountains of pine tree branches started burning, feet started stomping the ground, and prayers were chanted as the fire burned, rising upward in line with the full moon. On the foothill, the festival’s theme also started burning, the words “Rising after COVID-19” blazed not just from the fire, but from everyone’s fervent wishes to recover from the pandemic. 

If Hokuto was scared earlier, he wasn’t now, he was simply stupefied with the grandeur in front of him. He always associated mountain fires with bushfires that devastate Sydney, but this one was different. It was like watching a Phoenix rose from its ashes. 

The crowd cheered as another type of fire lit the sky, and fireworks shot up behind the mountain, adding glitter to the sea of flames below. He started taking snaps again, it didn’t matter how it looked, but this was one of the moments he wanted to look back on and remember fondly. The ritual ended, and the crowd started leaving away from the bonfires, while the invited performers onstage started hyping everyone for their next song. 

Juri started coaxing them to go closer to the stage, Jesse and Shintaro were both eager to go, but Yugo and Taiga chose to return to their trailer. Hokuto was conflicted about where to go, but in the end, he decided to go solo and explore other areas more. 

The food and carnival area was still bustling with activities. Hokuto was too young to enjoy these types of carnival games when they were still in Japan, and he also rarely saw these kinds of games when they moved to Sydney. He was feeling a bit shy earlier around the guys, but he was ready to spend all his money playing games; from popping balloons using darts or guns, tossing balls and sticks, and shooting hoops. He also tried traditional Korean games he only saw at Squid Game, and he got really competitive in doing ttakji he even made a kid cry. He tried everything he could until he was down to only 10,000 Won, all in exchange for a bad imitation Umbreon stuffed toy he didn’t need. 

He returned to where their trailer van was parked and he could hear the gentle strums of a guitar as he walked closer. He assumed it was Taiga, and before he turned around the corner, he heard someone singing. 

Hello, my friend, 

There was a summer where I fell in love with you

It was a short and moody summer

It felt weird to take a peek, but he didn’t want to break the mood by suddenly showing up. He could only smile upon seeing Taiga singing as he concluded that God really has favorites. He knew this Matsutoya Yumi's song so he chose to stay behind the trailer van, while his eyes returned to the scene on the mountain. 

Destiny,

You knew for a while, didn’t you?

There was a tranquility to it that we can’t get back, Ah…

Taiga’s voice is like that fire, it glows and it grows, and even if it ends, the heat it gives would linger and you would always remember how it gave you warmth. 

Hello, my friend   

The stores have started to close for the year

It cools down when a typhoon’s on the way…

The singing stopped and Hokuto looked back as Taiga continued to strum and hum. He pointed his camera to take a shot, but after recalling Taiga’s earlier aversion to having his picture taken, he decided to focus the camera on Taiga's long fingers as they strum the guitar. He was about to leave his not-so-hiding place when a blonde girl approached Taiga. 

“Uhm, excuse me, but aren’t you Taiga Kyomoto?” The girl asked.

Taiga quickly shook his head and said, “no, you’re mistaken.” 

“Ah, sorry about that,” the girl said. She looked like she wanted to ask again, but Taiga mumbled an excuse before entering the trailer.

***

The next time Hokuto woke up, he was on the back of a passenger wagon of a farm tractor, the engines were noisy and his bum begging for a reprieve. They had problems with their trailer van, so they have to find another mode of transportation. There were buses available that stopped at two major stops, but the guys were more excited about the unique experience of riding a farm tractor. 

Hokuto yawned, it was already a miracle he was able to doze off, while Taiga and Shintaro made his shoulders their pillow. Juri, Jesse, and Yugo were also asleep across from him when the tractor slowed, the driver glanced back at them and shouted something Hokuto couldn’t understand. Yugo was instantly awake, letting out a big yawn as he answered back, and acknowledged Hokuto with a nod. 

“Look around, we’re on one of the most beautiful roads in Korea,” Yugo said, while he tapped Jesse and Juri between him. 

Hokuto extended his neck to peek and his drowsiness was instantly gone seeing the road paved with canola flowers and cherry blossoms. It was indeed breathtaking. The road carried freshness, and this is what spring is all about, being renewed again. Now he understood why last night’s Fire Festival was done during spring, it’s because fire also symbolizes renewal. 

He tapped Shintaro’s and Taiga’s thighs to wake them up, Shintaro instantly woke while Taiga simply mumbled something incoherent, before he burrowed his face into the crook of his neck. Hokuto didn’t try to wake Taiga up again, so he passed his camera to Kouchi, but it was returned due to an empty battery. Hokuto could only sigh and made a mental note that he would return to this road on another day, but for now, he’ll let his eyes feast on the gift of nature surrounding him. 

“Here are some drinks, thank you for volunteering!” Jesse gleefully said while he handed Juri and Hokuto their banana milk. 

“I didn’t know we volunteered,” Juri said with sarcasm, before punching the straw on his drink. 

Hokuto smiled and shook his head while he rolled the ball of greenish sticky rice cake into the huge bowl of red beans and bean powder. Although he was taken to the Harmony Center against his will, he was thankful for the change of pace instead of spending the first two of his waking hours staring at the sea. 

“I rarely wake up early and I should have never gone down,” Juri continued to complain. “That sneaky little village chief is such a show-off, Imma complained to Yugo, this should be against our lease!” 

Hokuto turned toward the door as a bit of commotion started. “I don’t think he minds that Jesse is making us work,” he said as Yugo arrived with an iced americano for everyone. 

“You are obviously enjoying this,” Juri said, turning his ire to him. 

Hokuto chose not to deny it. He wasn’t exactly jumping with joy, but he decided to just savor it. 

“Well, it’s a unique experience.” They were making an omegitteok , a rice cake uniquely from Jeju made of glutinous rice, mugwort, sugar, and red beans or powder. 

“Unique? Never made a rice cake before?” 

Hokuto shook his head. “I can’t remember…ah, but I think I remember helping my dad pound mochi before. Does that count?” He asked, he couldn’t even recall if it happened in Japan or in Australia. It was such a long time ago that he couldn’t remember if it was real or just his imagination. 

Juri looked back at him with pity. “O – kay, let’s enjoy your omegitteok experience. You should send some back to your fam. If Taiga or Shintaro would do this, they would probably end up eating almost everything they made.”

“They are that gluttonous?”

“They are ravenous eaters. They probably owned 95% of the food in the pantry.”

Hokuto nodded, recalling how he didn’t have space for his groceries because the pantry and fridge were almost full. “Uhm, h-have you been at the guest house for long?” 

“I arrived at the guest house the day after Valentine's Day. I think the writer's retreat just ended around that time. Yugo and Jesse were already there when I arrived. Days after, Taiga arrived, and by the start of March, Shintaro arrived.” 

“I see…so you guys didn’t know one another for a long time, but how do I say this? Uhm, during the fire festival, you guys seemed to jive well, like you all complement one another,” Hokuto observed.

Juri dismissed what he said with a scoff, but he also looked a bit embarrassed. “What are you talking about? My relationship with the guys is…let’s just say we have mutual respect. Yugo and Jesse were approachable and all, but when I arrived, I locked myself in my room for days before I started hitting every festival left and right. In fact, when Taiga arrived, I didn’t know he was a new tenant that I tried to hit on him.”

“Huh?”

“Just kidding. I thought Taiga was a ghost because he was in the common room at 3 in the morning wearing all white. And when Shintaro arrived, I was also at some party, so when I got back and heard some noises in the room below mine, I thought there was a thief or something and called the police.”

“Ooooh.”

Juri nodded. “Yeah, Shintaro didn’t speak to me for a week, until I learned that he’s at a ‘no speaking rule’, and I’m being offended and apologetic for nothing.” 

“Uhm, what about the police that you called?”

“That? The Little Village Chief arrived on time to explain everything.” 

The so-called Little Village Chief must have heard them that he glided to their table, looking like a mean boss about to chide them, which he did. 

“Lads…I’m pretty sure the ahjummas would have done 150 omegitteok in 1 hour, you’ve only made about 30?” 

“Then call the ahjummas,” Juri snapped. 

“I would have, but the halmonis and noonas prefer eye-candies,” Jesse said, nonplussed that he was using them for their looks. 

Hokuto glanced at the other tables doing a different type of delicacy, and most of them didn’t shy away from admiring them. One of the grandmas even did a finger heart when their eyes met, which Hokuto reciprocated with a smile. 

“Eye candy? Then you should have gotten Taiga here – speaking of…”

Hokuto followed Juri’s gaze and Taiga entered the hall looking like a goddess who’d been roused from his sleep. The room buzzed with excitement seeing Taiga, but whispers of worry also traveled to their direction because of the rumor that Jesse started.

“He’s fine, he wore 10 layers of sunblock,” Jesse declared as Taiga approached their table.

Taiga rolled his eyes. “Will you never stop that? I’ve sent a message to our GC.” 

“Did you?” Jesse and Juri both checked their phones. 

“Oh, you did!” Jesse exclaimed. “You should have liked the picture I sent.” Jesse showed the said picture, which was him and Juri doing the rice cake. 

“Anyway,” Taiga said, turning to Hokuto, “the phone in the common room has been ringing off the hook, it was the phone shop, they said your phone is back, and you may get it.” 

Hokuto failed to hide his excitement, he did miss his phone, and he immediately removed his gloves, as he said, “I’ve been waiting for it. I’d better go get it.”

“Huh? You said before that you’ll choose this chance to disconnect,” Jesse said.

“Yes, but now I already feel like connecting. So excuse me-”

“Then, Taiga replaced Hokuto for now,” Jesse ordered. 

“Why?” Taiga asked, so loudly it echoed. He faked a cough and said in a more modulated tone, “I should still be sleeping at this time.”

“Uhm, may I ask Taiga to go with me?” 

Taiga turned and if his eyes could talk, they would be screaming in agreement with his invitation. 

“Yes, I should go with you,” he turned to Jesse and added, “Hokuto doesn’t have a phone so he might get lost with the bus schedule and stuff.”

“Hmmm, you have a point-”

“Okay, we’re leaving, bye,” Taiga said in a haste and dragged him out of the Harmony Center. 

***

“Here it is, good as new. You’re still lucky, but of course, everything’s wiped out.”

Hokuto took his phone to check, and from the corner of his eyes, he could see Taiga letting out a huge yawn while he checked the phones on display. 

“Thank you,” Hokuto said afterward before he approached Taiga. 

“Thank you for coming with me.” 

“Your welcome,” he said, yawning again, “this isn’t really my best hour.”

Hokuto looked at his phone and saw that it was 10 minutes past 11 in the morning. “Uhm, as a thank you for coming with me, let me treat you to an early lunch.”

“Treat me? Do you really mean that?” 

Hokuto nodded. “Of course, whatever you want.” 

Taiga grinned and the next thing Hokuto knew, he was surrounded by stacks of sandstone, seemingly carved by mother nature to form such a dynamic coastline beside an aquamarine sea. He wasn’t wearing proper footwear and despite the stunning view, he found himself struggling and hoped that the food they would be having would be worth his pain. They stopped in the middle of their rocky walk, a woman sat by the barnacle-covered shoreline with plastic basins filled with shellfish.  

“Uhm, are you sure this is what you want?” He clarified as an old woman served them raw abalone and sea cucumber, together with a bottle of soju. “I mean, you haven’t eaten anything yet.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Taiga said while eating an abalone. “Oh! It tastes unbelievable!” He gushed and picked an abalone for Hokuto to eat, “try it!” 

“Uhm, okay.” He didn’t know why he felt shy eating from someone else’s chopsticks, but his inhibitions were all forgotten the moment the abalone hit his tongue. His eyes widened while he mumbled gibberish. 

“It’s really good! Not fishy at all, hmmm, it’s very unique,” he clarified.

“Right!” Taiga said, handing him a shot of soju. They toast and drink, before finishing their raw meal. 

“I’ve always wanted to go here,” Taiga said after a while. The wind was attacking them with such ferocity, Hokuto had to hold his hair to stop it from getting on his eyes, while Taiga preferred to simply close his eyes while he hugged his cap. “But the high tide would always get in my way.” 

Hokuto’s eyes roamed where people were walking. “It does look like a dangerous place to be when the high tide gets in.” 

“It is. I can’t even swim.” 

“Eh?” 

“Is that so surprising?” Taiga asked. 

“Well…not really. I just assumed you would.” 

“Can you swim?” 

Hokuto nodded. “It’s a matter of survival.”

Taiga smiled. “Jesse said that you’re from Australia.”

Hokuto nodded again.

“Is it really dangerous over there? Like, you can die easily from all the deadly animals.” 

Hokuto chuckled. “Well, we managed to survive so far,” he said, smiling. “There was one time my mates and I went camping and when I woke from a nap, a snake was coiled on my leg so I had to get it off.” 

Hokuto chuckled again seeing Taiga’s jaw drop. 

“I know it looks like I’m painting a bad picture here, but not all snakes are out to kill you. I just need something long like a stick for the snake to transfer over before I throw it off. Good thing, my best mate brought his cricket paddle with him so we were able to transfer the snake at the expense of his paddle.” 

Taiga still looked bewildered as he said, “I think that was…the most Australian thing you can say.” 

Hokuto snickered. “We learned to get by…you are from Japan, right?”

Taiga nodded. 

“Us living with dangerous animals is like you living with earthquakes. As far as I can recall, I never experienced earthquakes in Sydney.” 

Taiga was back to being astonished. “Shut up!”

Hokuto nodded repeatedly. “My parents returned to Japan once for my aunt’s wedding, there was an earthquake during their stay, and I swear, when they called us to say they were okay, they actually sounded ecstatic that they got to experience it again.”

“I guess regardless of where we are, we have our own nature shit to deal with.” 

“You’re right,” he said as they both sighed and giggled at the unexpected synchronicity. 

“I guess it’s pretty tame here,” Hokuto said while they watched a group of female divers start their foray into the sea as a group of tourists watched them with awe.  

“And I hope it stays that way. It's nice to be unbothered by anything."

Hokuto nodded. He knew that the only reason he had been unbothered was that he'd been avoiding stuff that bothered him. 

“Shall we continue our walk?” Taiga asked. “As far as I know there’s another exit toward the end but it involves a bit of climbing.” 

Hokuto nodded again even though his feet were crying to reprieve. He still has plenty of time to remain unbothered.  

“Sure…let’s go.” 

***

“Hi, Oisin and Grace!” Hokuto greeted with a wave. 

“Hokuto!” The couple exclaimed as Oisin showed the package they received from. “Got this yesterday, these dried persimmons are awesome,” Oisin said, in his usual thick Irish accent, which Hokuto could understand well since he also grew up in the Norton household. 

“Glad you liked it, does the jumper fit though?” 

“Fits perfectly! I’ll wear it when I go out for a jog.”

Hokuto smiled softly. “Right. I was planning to buy t-shirts, but I realized it's autumn over there so might as well buy something warm.” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Grace said, her curly blond hair and green eyes reminded Hokuto so much of his best mate. Brian loved that he looked like his mother, he used to joke that he would never get girls if he had gotten his dad’s looks, which although handsome, he sported a perpetual scowl that made people wary of him. “You know that we would love anything from you.” 

“I appreciate that. Uhm, I-I better go, it’s getting late there.” 

“Okay, take care of yourself over there,” Grace added.

“Don’t drink too much,” Oisin also added.

“And if there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to tell us,” Grace finished as they gave each other a wave before the video call ended. 

Hokuto sighed and wiped away the tears he’d been holding. Speaking to his best mate’s parents would always make his return to that scene at St. Vincent’s; Oisin and Grace were in tears as Brian’s dead body left the ICU while Hokuto could only stand by the side. Of all the times he was ever going to be late, it had to be on the day Brian died. 

It was odd to say that his best mate’s death was a humbling experience, it made him realize that life wouldn’t wait for anyone, and everything he has could be taken in an instant. He is only living on borrowed time. It made him recall all those moments when they joked “who would get married first?”, “how many kids will they have?”, or “who would be the dad first?”. They talked about those things but it was never “who would die first?”. It was as though they see themselves as invisible, that death couldn’t get them while they were in their 20s, 30s, or even 40s. 

He played Brian’s voice clip no. 32 while he checked the apps that were re-installed on his phone. Smiling, he accepted the Kakao Talk invitation from Jesse, and as he opened the group chat called “Jesse’s Tenants”, he could hear the noise even though the chat had nothing but emojis, memes, stickers, and lots of words. He did some backreading, a smile never left his face, the GC looked animated as though it had a life of its own. Jesse and Yugo’s personality was the same in and out of the GC, Hokuto was surprised to see Shintaro talkative in the GC like he would send a minimum of 10 messages in a minute. Taiga seemed like a snob who didn’t want to be bothered but would banter with Yugo at every chance he got. Juri would take ages to reply, and once he did, it would be as simple as “K” or a sticker to describe his mood. 

Remember when Ji-Woo told us that we shouldn’t call out GC a GC because there are only two of us there? That it should be called just chat. I hope….you’ll be in a lot of GCs. That may sound shallow, but I know you, mate, you’re so talkative that I hope you would find someone, or better yet, people, who would listen to everything that’s sensible and your nonsense. 

Hokuto let out a deep sigh and typed, “finally here! Thank you for the welcome.” and added a “G’Day mate!” sticker. It might surprise Brian, but he had no problem living in silence in the meantime. It was also nice that he was around people who have no idea who he is or what happened to him. He didn’t want to talk about his pain and he preferred for it to stay that way. 

He went to his gallery and sent his sister a picture, a picture of the old woman selling shellfish by the seashore, seemingly unbothered from the incoming chaos.

The waves were stronger that morning, crashing on the shore as they wanted to pulverize the rocks surrounding it. The waves may be turbulent, but Hokuto was even tempted to rent a surfboard if it wasn’t for the near-freezing weather after it rained most of the night. 

He sat on the edge of Cheonggul Spring, slowly dipping his feet into the freshwater surrounded by the emerald sea. From above, it looked like a stingray venturing back into its home. He took a deep breath, inhaling the rich aquamarine life surrounding him, mixed with a hint of his freshly-brewed coffee from the nearby shop, before he made a long expiration. 

He hasn’t had a slow morning for days, not that it has been stressful, but he’d been spending his mornings exploring the village and doing something strenuous. From climbing Ipsan Peak to going down under and exploring the Manjaggul Lava Tube to walking the 14 km Gimnyeong-Woljeong Geo Trail Course for 2 days. The Manjaggul Cave was his favorite, the lava tubes were lit in different shades of purple, making one feel that they were looking at a distant galaxy. He took his time inside the cave, or more like, he took his time perfecting his shot as taking pictures in the darkness remained his weakness. Not that he was anywhere near what one would call a “strong photographer”, he thinks his pictures were okay, but after days of traveling and taking photographs, he was beginning to realize he might not have the “eye” when it comes to photography. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

“Taiga!” He exclaimed as Taiga sat beside him, a ruby-red drink in his hand. 

“You also bought your drink over there, huh? I feel like we’re cheating Kouchi at this point,” Taiga said, sipping his tea. 

“They should have gotten to this location instead of the beachfront, by the way, isn’t this too early for you?” Taiga and Juri were both famous for waking up at almost noon. 

Taiga smiled sheepishly. “The rain kept me awake. Are my ears playing tricks on me, or was the wave really that strong last night that I could hear it?” He asked, yawning. 

“Agree with the waves, they were really pounding last night.” 

Taiga yawned again, the dark circles under his eyes were more prominent under the light of the day, but even those didn’t do anything to diminish his beauty. 

“How about you? Are you going…skydiving today? Sailing?”

Hokuto chuckled. The guys learned about his activities after he didn’t go home during the first night of his 14 km walk, and they started suggesting other trips for him in their GC. 

“Nah, I’m thinking something slow for the meantime.” 

“Then, join me for a yoga session.”

They glanced back in surprise seeing Juri and Yugo, both holding drinks.

“Or you can go with me to a tea plantation,” Yugo offered, sipping the same drink as Taiga. 

“Uhm, did you just buy a drink at your competitor's?” Hokuto asked, ignoring Yugo’s offer and pointing at his drink that bore the same logo as their drinks.  

“What about you two…three?” 

They all avoided his glare, hiding their drinks from Yugo’s field of vision. 

“Just kidding,” Yugo said, grinning, “we’re all friends here. So where do you want to take it slow today, Hokuto?” 

“Uhm.” His eyes darted at Yugo and Juri, both of whom gave really interesting choices, then his eyes shifted to Taiga, who scowled and said, “Count me out, I’m going back to sleep.” 

Smiling, Hokuto said, “I really want to take it slow today, so…”

***

“You disappoint me, Yugo, I didn’t know you had in you,” Hokuto said as he took his first step upon arriving at O'sulloc Tea Museum. Buses of tourists have started arriving too, and Yugo nudged him to follow to a brick-made building.

“Blackmail, you mean?” Yugo said, smiling maliciously as they passed by displays of various tea ware from around the world. 

“How did you know I ate one of Taiga’s cheese ramen?” He whispered as though Taiga was just behind them. 

Yugo scoffed and placed an arm around him. “I know everything that happens in the house,” he said with extreme confidence. “Even when I’m sleeping, I know what time Juri arrived, or if Taiga or Shintaro went down for a midnight snack, or what time Jesse slept.”

Hokuto’s eyes widened in alarm. “Am I in a Big Brother house?” He asked, recalling that trashy reality shows Brian and him used to binge-watch back in high school. 

“Not sure what that is, oh, I’ll be getting the set for us. Find us a seat,” he said, patting Hokuto’s shoulder while he queued up. Hokuto settled on the corner that gave him a sweeping view of the tea plantation up ahead. Although he originally planned to sleep, joining Yugo on this trip is beginning to look like a good decision. 

“You didn’t bring your camera?” Yugo asked, placing a tray laden with an orange slushy topped with vanilla ice cream, a cake roll topped with green tea ice cream, and a separate cup of another green tea ice cream.”

“This is a lot,” he said and unconsciously reached beside him when he realized that he didn’t bring his camera. He took out his phone instead. “Ah…I need to take a picture of this for my sister, I’m sure my nephews would love this.” 

“Go ahead.” 

Hokuto took a snap of each item, before taking a flat lay. “Uhm, about my camera, I haven’t charged the battery yet, it’s also quite heavy to bring around, and I don’t think I’m really good with it,” he said, sipping the slushy that made him squirm and moan. “Whoever coined the term ‘refreshing’, I think this is what they have in mind.”

Yugo drank his slushy and his eyes sparkled. “You’re right, this tastes fantastic!” He passed him his mini fork to try the matcha chiffon cake, and for the next few minutes, the gastronomic delight they were devouring rendered them mute. By the time they were picking on the last scoop of green tea ice cream, Yugo almost had tears in his eyes. 

“I’m so glad I went here with you and not with Jesse.” 

“Why?”

“He’ll never allow me to eat this much sweets,” he said, finishing his orange slushy. “By the way, do you want to be a photographer?” Yugo asked after a while. 

“Hmmm? Not really, why would you ask?”

“Then, what’s the reason why you were so strict with yourself when it comes to taking pictures?” 

Hokuto shrugged. “I’m not sure, maybe perfectionism has been ingrained in me. How about you? Why did we go here? Are you planning to add matcha or hallabong to your summer menu?”

Yugo looked at him as though he spoke an alien language. “Oh! You were referring to the shop? I’ll probably suggest this to the owner, hallabong and coffee might work.” 

Hokuto nodded repeatedly. “Yes, yes! Unlikely but it might work.” 

“Too bad I would no longer be around to serve it,” Yugo mused.

“Hmmm?”  

“I will be back in Japan by June 5th and by the 11th, my sabbatical leave finally ends.”

Hokuto’s mouth opened when he realized that - yes - all of them would eventually leave Retreat and Create. He might not know the reason why they were all there, but one thing was evident, all of them were on a long vacation, and eventually, they had to go back.

“Sabbatical leave, huh? May I ask if you went studying? Or was it all traveling? – if you don’t mind me asking that is,” he added quickly. 

Yugo smiled softly. “I don’t mind, it’s not like it’s a secret. Anyway, so I’ve just finished my residency when --”

“Residency? You’re a doctor?!” 

“Is that so surprising?” He asked, smirking. “Well, yeah, I’ve just finished my residency and also got my license. I was deciding on further training when a daisenpai , who I admired a lot, decided to drop his stethoscope and switch careers.”

“What career?” He asked, finishing his Hallabong slushy.  

“He became a drag queen.”

Hokuto was so shocked, he descended to a coughing fit that the slushy on his mouth found its way back to his cup, while some dripped down his chin. 

“Calls himself Gabbie Pentin, a common drug one would come across as a neurologist.” 

“Sorry,” he said when he recovered. “That was quite a career change.”

“It is and it also made me doubt myself.” 

Hokuto swallowed hard. “Uhm, a-are you also planning to be a drag queen?” 

Yugo looked incredulously at him, before chuckling. “No. I would be awful with that,” he said, sighing. “But it really made me rethink if this is the path I want to take. You see, I became a doctor to follow my dad’s footsteps. I can say it has always been my dream, but after what happened with my daisenpai , it made me think if it only became my dream because that’s the only dream I’ve always known. I don’t want to be in my mid-40s or 50s, and all of a sudden, I would look back and see how much I wasted my life doing something I never really wanted to do.”

“I get you,” he said, nodding, “so will you be opening a coffee shop once you return to Japan?” 

Yugo shook his head and sighed. “No, I still want to be a doctor, but the specialization I wanted has changed.”

“Ooooh.”

“Back at the coffee shop, I listened to more stories than making coffee. I don’t want to think highly of myself, but people, even strangers, seemed to open up easily around me. It gave me an idea, so I decided that I will be a psychologist,” he finished with a smile. 

***

Their next hours were spent like a new couple on a date, or maybe he spent it being Yugo’s photographer. Hokuto could totally see that Yugo wanted him to resume photography and that Yugo would ask him to take his pictures just about anywhere even on the sign that says, “Beware of snakes.”. 

They went to the nearby Innisfree Jeju House where they made their own soaps. They also made one each for their housemates, choosing camelia for Taiga, cedar tree for Jesse, volcanic clay for Shintaro, and daphne blossom for Juri. Afterward, Yugo checked out the Organic Green Cafe if he could buy a takeaway for their dinner, while Hokuto got really hyped in making his own mask pack. By the time they finished their Innisfree tour, he had a bag full of skincare products. 

“It’s for my sister, mother, and my best friend's fiancé,” he said when Yugo eyed his purchases. 

“I didn’t say anything.”

“If you're going to be a psychologist, you should be less judgmental.” 

Yugo chuckled. “The judgmental one is you for thinking that I’m thinking what I’m not really thinking.” 

The bus arrived on time, Yugo made a call to Jesse as soon as they got in to say that he already got them dinner. 

“Will you airdrop the pictures you took of me?” 

“Sure.”

“You should really resume photography,” Yugo said after a while. The bus was almost full, and the traffic had gotten heavy while dusk settled. 

“Why, so I can look back fondly on the memories?”

Yugo scoffed at his sarcasm. “Let’s get real, not all memories can be looked back fondly.”

That hit Hokuto hard. He used to love checking his pictures with Brian after his death, but days later, it became hard. He could no longer see the joy behind their smiles, he could no longer feel the rush behind their adventures, and he could no longer see Brian as someone who was once alive. As much as Hokuto hated it, even his most treasured memory had been replaced by one thing, the memory of his best friend’s death. 

Yugo continued, “But remember those days when camera phones were new? When we thought that 5MP was already good, our phones would be filled with picture after picture. We take pictures of almost everything. I recall taking all possible selfies I could take; those bathroom selfies? I was taking them before they were even a trend. Then, phones improved, and 5MP even became close to 50 MP, but from the simple joy of taking pictures, we became perfectionists. Pictures have to be edited, instagrammable, and of course, it has to have lots of likes because we crave validation.” 

“Are you sure you still want me to continue taking pictures?” 

Yugo grinned. “Of course, simply because you look happy doing it. Don’t stress yourself on whether it looks good or not. You don’t take pictures, you make them. It’s not the shutter, the true lens of the camera is your heart.” 

Hokuto smiled, impressed. “I think you’ll be a good psychologist.” 

“I’ll send you the bill later for this session.” 

Hokuto grinned as Yugo answered a call. Passengers began to thin as they neared their stop, and not that he was being a busybody but he couldn’t help but glance at the student passenger seated across the aisle. She had fallen asleep, her phone on her lap, and still playing a video of a man singing while playing his guitar. A very familiar guy. 

“Taiga?”

***

Clashing sounds from the TV greeted Hokuto and Yugo as they entered the grounds. They found Taiga and Jesse watching Infinity War in the living room, and they only acknowledged their presence when Yugo asked about Juri and Shintaro. 

“Ah, Juri and Shintaro would be staying in Seogwipo, they have another early yoga session tomorrow,” Jesse said without looking at them. 

Eventually, they all ate their dinner in front of the TV. After Infinity War, they watched End Game too, and it was past 10 when the movie ended. Hokuto thinks this is the first time he’d seen both movies since seeing them play in cinemas, but post-series depression still hits him. He volunteered to clean up and Taiga joined him by the sink afterward, noticing that he was wearing an “I am Groot” hoodie. 

“If you could exist in another multiverse, would you want a different life?” 

Hokuto scowled. Taiga rarely asked these kinds of questions. “That was sudden, but also something that has been asked of me before.” He smiled bitterly, recalling Brian asked him the same question after they watched Infinity War. The death of Doctor Strange had him bawling and he spent days reading and watching videos of fan theories and the existence of a multiverse just came up one night during their Pub-Friday talks with the blokes. 

“I remember I said that in another universe, I don’t want to live, I just want to be a stone.” 

“Hmmm? A stone?” Taiga asked, taking the dishes he had scrubbed to be rinsed. 

“Yep. I’ve already tried living, so why not become non-living? I just want to be like the volcanic stones scattered around here, existing but not really living. For once, I want to experience existing for the sake of existing.” 

Taiga nodded, looking unimpressed with his answer. “But that was your answer to that question before, right? Is it still the same now?” 

“No,” he murmured. “It has changed, if there’s a different universe, I want to go on living in a world where he also gets to live – but longer.” He didn’t realize he had cried until Taiga dabbed his face with a paper towel.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.” 

Hokuto quickly dried his tears and made a follow-up. “How about you? Do you want a different version of yourself?” 

“Yes,” he answered quickly. “But not totally, I just want a braver version of myself, someone who doesn’t run away easily.”

“I see,” he said and busied himself with scrubbing, trying to forget the results he got when he searched about who Kyomoto Taiga is - “ YouTube singer with 6 million subscribers deleted his account and disappeared after losing the plagiarism battle ”.

***

No tears fell as Hokuto finished Brian’s voice clip no. 37. He was having fun looking at the photos he took using his camera. He paused from being highly critical of himself and just focused on his emotions when he was taking those photos. None of which involved garnering likes after uploading on social media, a lot of the pictures were taken out of his sheer interest in the subject and now he thought they all came out perfectly. His pictures were raw and unrefined, but overall, real. 

He sighed and connected his phone to his laptop, he was dead-set on transferring the old contents of his phone, and hopefully by the time he reached voice clip no.40, he would be able to look at their pictures and reminisce as though Brian was never gone, he was just in another universe, alive and well.