Six Degrees of Separation

“Men build too many walls and not enough bridges.”
― Joseph Fort Newton

 

“...concerned with inequality: the changing, and sometimes unchanging, forms of global inequality, how they can be appropriately measured and how they are expressed in the international legal and regulatory architecture; within countries, how various forms of social discrimination and hierarchy affect economic processes and capitalist dynamics; how economic inequalities impact on and are affected by accumulation; the redistributive role of fiscal and monetary and financial policies; how power imbalances affect the world of work….”

“That was really enlightening, Mr. Kyomoto,” she said, and glanced at her phone, before looking back at him with regret. “I'm afraid we ran out of time, I really enjoyed this interview. I hope we could have round 2 of this amazing chat.” 

“Likewise,” Taiga replied, thanking the interviewer profusely as they bid each other goodbye. 

He normally doesn't use his lunch hour for work-related stuff, but the interviewer emailed him a list of amazing questions, he just couldn't say no. It was refreshing to do an interview that didn't involve questions involving his popstar ex-boyfriend. It had been two years since they broke up, but New York society would always remember him as that “ikemen” Japanese guy. Heck, most New Yorkers that weren’t weebs, didn't even know that word until The New Yorker used it for their article, and it even went on to become Oxford Dictionary's “Word of the Year”.

Taiga sighed and sipped his tea, while he tried to ignore the two Asian women who kept glancing at his direction. People normally don't ask for his picture, after all, he was no celebrity, and it bothered him why they were giving him curious glances. A message from his secretary made him shift his attention. The investor they'd been courting for their newest business venture finally agreed to a meeting, but he had to go to Japan for it.

“Uhm, excuse me.”

Taiga looked up and saw that the two women finally got the courage to approach him. Based on their cute familiar accents, they were definitely Japanese.

“Yes, how may I help you?” He asked, thinking that they might be tourists with limited English skills and that they needed his help as another Japanese person.

“Sorry, we didn't mean to eavesdrop, but we overheard that your name is Kyomoto Taiga?”

Taiga nodded, the woman could certainly speak passable English to be needing his help.

“Are you Kyomoto Taiga -- the author?” Asked the other woman.

“Hmmm,  I wouldn't really call myself an author,” he said meekly. He has co-authored two business books, and even did an English-to-Japanese translation, does that qualify as being an author?

The women didn't seem to notice his puzzlement as they both squealed in delight.

“We are huge fans of your work!” They said in unison and several heads turned in their direction. 

“Really?” He clarified, confused. 

“I love ‘The Maid in the Attic’,” gushed one of them.

“My favorite is the 'Nights with the Devouring Dame' series,” said the other, her cheeks turning to a deeper shade of pink.

“And we both became fans because of 'Blooming Bud Lessons'!" 

Taiga fought to maintain a straight face. He had no idea what they were talking about, and they clearly mistook him for someone else. Other customers glanced maliciously at him, and it was easy to tell why, the titles they mentioned reeked of R-18.

“We just want to thank you for representing us, even though you're a guy,” she added.

“Yeah, there's not much yuri in the market.”

Taiga almost choked on his tea. Not only was he mistaken for an R-18 author, but apparently, he also wrote Yuri.

He wanted to deny it so badly. There was no way he would want to be associated with such stories, but seeing the expectant look on the ladies' faces, he didn't want to embarrass them for being wrong. 

He sighed and said with gritted teeth, “Thank you for reading my works.”

***

“Do you know what’s my favorite part of being an author? It’s when my haters curse me. There’s something so rewarding when my haters say, ‘You’re a piece of trash, Kyomoto Taiga!’.”

Shintaro shook his head as Hokuto’s evil laughter filled the room. 

“Are you a masochist? Of all the pen names, why use your ex’s name?”

“Masochist? I’m a sadist and I want nothing but to inflict pain on that person,” Hokuto muttered, snapping his chopsticks into two. “So, no! There’s no way I would change my pen name even if you say that it brings me bad luck!” He finished with determination and fed himself with beef short ribs. 

He knew there would be bad news when Shintaro told him that he would be treating him to a high-end beef barbeque. After all, Shintaro is a cheapskate, and for him to treat someone meant that a huge favor would be asked.

“Then, please wrap up your current work nicely,” Shintaro said, still grilling meat and not eating, “it’s expected for readership to drop once paid chapters are up, but for your current work, it didn’t just drop in half, it dropped in less than a quarter.” 

“That bad?” Hokuto asked, still a bit baffled. He was never really concerned with sales from doing these web-style comics, in fact, 90% of his earnings were passed to his illustrators. His day job as a hairstylist was enough for him to live comfortably, given his celebrity and affluent clientele. It might be quite narcissistic of him, but he didn’t get how his current work could be this unpopular, not only it was well-researched, his current comic is his most mature and realistic work to date. Shintaro was right, a lot of his works were written simply for fun, take his “The Maid in the Attic” for example, none of his readers even questioned why someone who lives in the attic would be needing her own maid.

“Are the homophobes out to get me again?” He added. Lots of anti-LGBTQ loved to leave the nastiest comments on his Yuri comics. 

Shintaro shook his head. “I told you this before, your readers are into your works because they were fun and unserious, with a bit of angst here and there, but the humor is always there. When you decided to have mature characters dealing with mature topics of a relationship, your readers just reduced.” 

“Basically, you’re saying my readers are immature and didn’t want to deal with real-life issues of same-sex relationships,” Hokuto concluded. 

“I’m not saying that,” Shintaro countered. “But let’s get real, life is tough enough, I’m sure your readers just want to laugh instead of cry at the end of the day.”

Hokuto nodded. He understood Shintaro's point, for the same reason that he avoided watching or reading anything Yaoi , it made him a bit uncomfortable seeing the sort of life he’d been living. 

“Very well, my editor,” he said, grinning. 

“By the way, another reason I asked you to change your pen name was that someone, who introduced themself as your ex’s secretary, called our Abarero Agency.”

Hokuto almost choked on the lettuce-wrapped beef ribs, before he descended into a coughing fit. “Shouldn’t you have told me this beforehand? W-what do they want?” He asked when he recovered. 

“They were asking who was using the name Kyomoto Taiga.” 

“Did you rat me out?” He asked, his eyes widening. 

“Of course not, we are not contractually obligated to reveal your real identity unless court-ordered.”

Hokuto let out a sigh of relief. How did that jerk know about him anyway? “Good.”

“I know you’ve refused, but you might want to consider changing your pseudonym before they bring this to court.” 

Hokuto scoffed. “Who does he think he is? Is he the only Kyomoto Taiga in the whole of Japan? He might as well sue anyone who shares his name!” He argued with bravado. 

“Apparently, they checked. There were only 3 Kyomoto Taiga and the kanjis were different.”

“I don’t give a shit,” he insisted, rolling his eyes, “I’m going to keep his name and have my haters curse him on my behalf,” he added, raising his middle finger.

Shintaro sighed. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you,” Shintaro said, raising his all-free beer.

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine,” he said, clinking his own beer can. As far as he knew, Taiga wasn’t even in Japan, and even if he is, Hokuto didn’t care. 

“The son of a bitch broke up with me with just a LINE message, he would never have the courage to face me,” Hokuto finished with bitterness, before drinking his beer straight. 

“Welcome back to Japan, Kyomoto-sama.” 

Taiga smiled softly and handed his secretary his overnight luggage. He hadn’t been home for so long and as he took a steep inhale upon getting out of the airport, he was sure he was in Japan. His birth country just smelled differently; it was familiar but also strange. He felt homey, but also foreign. 

“By the way, I booked a room at Le Grand, drive me there and not to my father’s,” he ordered, seeing that the car was taking the road that would lead to his parent’s residence. 

“Yes, Kyomoto-sama.” 

“There was also no need to inform my father that I’m in Japan. I won’t be long, I just need to meet an investor. I’ll probably be back in New York the day after tomorrow.” 

“Yes. Kyomoto-sama,” he replied, clearing his throat, while a growing unease unfolded in the car. 

“My father already knows that I’m here,” he concluded. 

“My apologies, Kyomoto-sama, I didn’t know that your trip here would be confidential. I’ll make sure-”

“It’s fine. I guess it doesn’t really matter,” he interjected, not wanting for his secretary to feel bad that he quickly changed the topic. “Ah…what about the Yuri writer? The one with the same name.” 

“His or her agency refused to give their author’s real name without a court order. Shall I bring this to court?” 

Taiga sighed. He didn’t want this matter to get big and waste his time or money. “Nah, I definitely don’t want to waste money on this one, just give me the address of the agency later.” 

His secretary nodded as the car slowed to a stop. Taiga looked across the road, pleased to see the Shibuya Scramble again, which he thought had no match with Times Square even though he passed by the intersection every day. He looked up at the giant LED screens and on one of them, a shampoo commercial was being played on repeat featuring the “IT” actress of the moment, and his heart almost skipped upon seeing a familiar face on the screen. 

“...has always been the shampoo of our choice,” Hokuto said, salon expert caption underneath his name.

The stoplight turned green and the car moved swiftly. Taiga realized he was holding his breath as they left the famous crossing. There were two people he wished to avoid while he was in Tokyo, the first was his father, and the second was his ex-boyfriend, Hokuto. 

“We’re here Kyomoto-sama,” his secretary announced. Taiga took a deep breath to calm himself, there was no need to concern himself with the past, after all, he won’t be staying long. 

“What time will be our meeting tomorrow with Kouchi Yugo?” He asked. 

“At 1pm, Kyomoto-sama.” 

“1 pm, huh? Call his team again if we could have it earlier, and if they agree, book an earlier flight back to New York,” he instructed and went down. 

He just couldn’t wait to get out of Tokyo.   

***

“I want a hairstyle that says, I’m not a virgin, but I’m not a himbo either .” 

Hokuto scowled, unsure what he could do to Jesse’s hair to show that statement. “I’ve been out of the dating circuit for a while, so hairstyles have sexual connotations now?” 

“Don’t act all too innocent, it doesn’t work on you” Jesse said. “And yes, there are hairstyles that just scream sex. Like if you see someone with a blond bald fade hairstyle, wouldn’t you automatically think that this man will surely hang you upside-down during sex?” 

Hokuto's brow furrowed deeper. “I’m sure you’re just green-minded, and I don’t want to be hanged either.”

Jesse grimaced. “Do you know what I think of your hair?” 

Hokuto raised an eyebrow as he looked at his reflection. His hair had dried a bit after dying it brunette, but his locks had always been annoyingly straight so he developed the habit of curling it a bit for some volume. 

“Your hairstyle screams that you haven’t been watered for so long-”

Hokuto playfully slapped Jesse’s shoulders before he could finish, and turned to his junior stylist. “Color his hair purple.” 

“Purple, why?” Jesse asked.

“So everyone will think you’re an otaku and avoid you.” 

“Eh?! Wait a minute-” 

Hokuto didn’t hear the rest of Jesse’s complaints when he received 10 continuous LINE messages from Shintaro. He immediately opened it and his eyes widened in alarm. 

“That idiot!” He said out loud. He zoomed in on the picture when his phone rang.

“Did you see it?” Shintaro asked, sounding concerned. “It was posted as a comment below the latest chapter you uploaded last night.” 

“I can’t believe this. How could he even think…of course, how could I forget that he’s a fucking people-pleaser and would rather agree than make someone feel bad?” He added, looking at a picture of two of his fans with the actual Kyomoto Taiga. 

“We’ve deleted it from our end. Unfortunately, it already made rounds in different fan cafes, forums, and even Twitter. We already made a request to those sites to take down the said picture, but it would probably take hours or days for them. Also, easy to see why this picture sparked a wildfire, your ex is really pretty.”

Hokuto clucked his tongue. He has zero interest in hearing that Taiga is pretty, which he is, but that was beside the point. “What should I do?” He asked, he was really clueless. He did anticipate a sort-of scandal that could happen from using Taiga’s name, but he never expected that it would be something like this.

“Have you heard from their end?” 

“No. Not yet, but I’m just telling you just in case…” Shintaro said with caution. 

Hokuto sighed. “Is it too late to change my pen name?” 

***

Taiga thought his surroundings were spinning because of jet lag, but he realized that he was just too stricken seeing the news that his secretary had forwarded him. 

“Kyomoto Taiga, as pretty as the women in his Yuri,” was the headline in one of the leading manga news.  

“Why did I fucking agree to have my picture taken? Argh! What was I thinking? You pathetic people-pleaser!” He rolled back and forth on his bed in frustration, hugely regretting that he was too shy to embarrass his "fans", but he ended up compromising himself. Worst of all, the webcomic agency, Abarero, hasn't released a statement that the Kyomoto Taiga in the picture and their writer were different people. 

"Just kill me, kill me, kill me," he repeated as more articles with his picture emerged. So far, he could still sigh in relief that articles were only contained to anime and manga networks, and no one had so far made his connection to a more famous Kyomoto, his father. 

"I’ve been working round-the-clock for the articles to be put down," his secretary texted, but Taiga was still in distress. 

He let himself wallow in disappointment for a bit, before forcing himself to shower and get dressed. He still had an important meeting to attend, and that should be his priority. He would deal with the agency and his embarrassment later. 

***

Kouchi Yugo had built himself a reputation for being a climate change champion and a prime investor, and that was the main reason Taiga's company wanted him. They didn’t want investors who were in it for profit only, they wanted someone like Kouchi Yugo who has the environment and the livelihood of people as his main drive in making investments. 

“How could he go camping in this weather?” Taiga complained as they rode the Shinkansen to Lake Suwa where Kouchi Yugo was reportedly ice fishing. Kouchi’s team canceled their meeting all of a sudden, but Taiga was determined to keep up with his schedule. Avoiding someone is indeed an immense drive for him to leave Tokyo as early as possible. 

“I think we would still make it by your 1 pm appointment,” his secretary assured him. 

“We should have taken the plane then.” 

“We can’t, Kyomoto-sama. I read in a magazine interview that Kouchi Yugo avoided riding planes due to its carbon emissions. He would cycle or take the train instead.” 

“Cycle?” Taiga repeated with disbelief. “Fine. As long as this meeting happened. By the way, has Abarero responded yet?” 

His secretary shook his head. “Not even to my half-dozen emails.” 

Taiga sighed in frustration. “What’s keeping them from releasing a statement? Surely, they knew what their own writer looked like.” 

“It also puzzled me, Kyomoto-sama, they could easily outright deny it. I think they didn’t want to reveal their writer’s face as proof.”

Taiga gaped. “So they’d rather sacrifice my image?” He scoffed and added, “Fine. Fine. This is my fault anyway, why the fuck did I agree to a picture? I’ll take a nap, wake me up an hour before we arrive.” 

***

“There’s no need to stress yourself on matters you can’t control,” Jesse said, his purple hair was so distracting, it made Hokuto put on his sunglasses. “Let your editor take care of those matters, besides, it isn’t so bad if your readers think that’s how you look like, a writer and a visual, you’re quite a catch.” 

Hokuto feigned a smile. Jesse had no idea that Taiga is his ex and he was not ready to tell him the story of his life. He only met Jesse after his break-up with Taiga, and they instantly hit it off as friends.

“Why are we going to Nagano?” He asked, changing the topic. 

Jesse beamed as his cheeks turned red. “I’ve met someone and I think he is the one so I want you to meet him.” 

Hokuto frowned. He is happy for Jesse, but he found it odd that of all the men Jesse had dated, this would be the first time that he would formally introduce someone to Hokuto. Moreover, they’re traveling to Nagano just to meet this person. “Nice. May I know his name?” 

“Kouchi. Kouchi Yugo.”

“I never expected that you would show up here,” Kouchi said, handing him a steaming cup of hot chocolate. 

“Thank you,” Taiga said, sipping his chocolate. He knew he was courting Kouchi to invest in their company, he should be the one to adjust to all his whims, but it really irks him to be tested like this. 

“I apologize for this abrupt fishing trip, the black bass are best when fished under these conditions,” Kouchi said with his signature beaming smile.

Taiga smiled softly. “No worries. I understand that you’re a busy man, and making this sudden trip is no problem. I haven’t been in Nagano for so long.” He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands on the mug. He was definitely not dressed for ice fishing, he was so close to freezing that he subtly moved closer to the portable heater. 

“I think apologies are in order,” Kouchi said after a while, or before Taiga’s eyelashes could develop icicles. 

Taiga waved his shivering hand. “No, it’s really okay.” 

“It’s not okay,” Kouchi insisted, sighing as he added, “I really have no intention of doing business with your company.”

Taiga managed to maintain a straight face when he really wanted to scream. Did he just waste thousands of dollars to court Kouchi? Is this trip all for nothing? 

“It was my team who wanted to form a partnership with you, they think that it’s high time we went global, and your company will be our starting point.”

Taiga couldn’t even nod or brag about his company, he was bracing himself for rejection as Kouchi continued, “Until I saw this-” Kouchi handed him his phone and Taiga almost stopped breathing seeing that dreaded picture that caused a thousand misunderstandings. 

“I can explain-”

“You don’t need to,” Kouchi said, taking back his phone. 

“There’s definitely a misunder-”

“My opinion of you just got better,” Kouchi said, which made Taiga do a spit take. 

“P-pardon?” He stuttered. 

“Call me weird, but I don’t hold businessmen in such high regard. They are greedy and unscrupulous.”

“Uhm, aren’t you considered a businessman?” 

Kouchi nodded. “Yes, but that’s the reason I chose to be more of a climate-conscious businessman. I cycle or use the train as much as I can. Not only do I reduce my carbon footprint, but it also keeps me on my toes. Makes me closer to the public. And I’ll never forget where I came from.”  

Taiga nodded with awe, impressed, after all, he knew all about Kouchi’s rags-to-riches story.

“So knowing you’re also an author makes you more human. You even write Yuri. I thought if you care about these relationships that people so often ignore, if not, won’t take them seriously, then surely, you must be a good person.” 

Taiga swallowed hard, guilt starting to consume him, his gut feeling told him he should come clean, but the businessman in him told him to use this as an opportunity. In a sense, Kouchi was not at all wrong, businessmen are greedy and unscrupulous.

Taiga had no idea how he was able to smile and said, “Shall we talk about business then?” 

***

“What the – you’re dating someone this loaded?” Hokuto whispered. He couldn’t help but be awestruck as they were led to the living room of a two-story log cabin house near Lake Suwa. The room smelled of pine and cedar, and the floor-to-ceiling casement windows provided a majestic view of the frozen lake, while the fire crackled at the marble fireplace. 

Jesse playfully hit him as he bashfully said, “Stop it! We’re not dating yet, I haven’t asked him out.”

“Huh?! But you said you want to introduce him to me.” 

“Yes, I want to know what you think of him.” 

Hokuto frowned, feeling that Jesse is withholding something from him until he realized something. The main reason Jesse would introduce someone to him for the first time. 

“Ahhh…what do I think of him? You mean, I'll have to be your fellow gay radar.”

“Eh?!” Jesse said, feigning surprise. 

Hokuto slowly shook his head. “Can't you just ask him? That's the easiest way.”

“Well, I can, but…”

“Jesse?” 

Both of them turned and Hokuto froze on the spot. He felt like he’d been transported to the frozen lake outside; his body became cold, his breathing fast, while the ice below him started cracking that he needed to thread carefully. 

“How could the world be so small?”

Taiga glanced briefly at him, his huge eyes betrayed a surprise, but he quickly recovered and smiled toward them in a professional manner. 

“I have lots of visitors today,” the man beside Taiga said. Hokuto could only assume that this must be Kouchi Yugo. He looked younger when Jesse said he was only older by two years, and his smile radiated a field of sunflowers. 

“Sorry for this sudden visit, we were in the area,” Jesse lied as though they didn't travel for hours.

“What happened to your hair?”

Jesse ran his fingers through his locks. “This is this man’s fault. He said this color would make me look like an otaku and people might avoid me.” Jesse pulled him closer and made his introductions, “Kouchi, this is Matsumura Hokuto and Hokuto, this is Kouchi Yugo.”

“Hello,” Kouchi greeted.

Hokuto smiled, and a ludicrous idea popped into his head while he shook Kouchi’s hand.

“Hi. I think Jess is just too shy to say, but I’m his boyfriend. We’re dating.”

“Eh?” Jesse gasped. This time, his surprise is genuine. 

“Oh!” Kouchi said, frowning at Jesse. “Why do you look so shocked?” He asked.

Jesse grinned tensely, his nervousness looked so palpable on his face that Hokuto would find this laughable if he wasn’t involved.

“Well..I – I thought we’re not going public with it,” he reasoned out.

“I understand, after all, you’re a celebrity,” Kouchi said before he recalled that he didn’t arrive alone. “Speaking of celebrities, may I introduce a future business partner of mine, Kyomoto Taiga.” 

“Eh? Your name is Kyomoto Taiga?” Jesse quickly remarked, darting an uncomfortable glance between him and Taiga.

“Do you know him?” Kouchi asked, before snapping his fingers. “You must have read his works!” He added, which elicited Hokuto’s confusion. 

Kouchi continued, “Kyomoto-san here is also a Yuri author.”  

“Eh?” Jesse gasped once more, looking more and more in pain from all these introductions. “But Hok– ouch!” 

“Sorry,” Hokuto quickly said. “I thought I saw a cockroach on your slippers,” he told Jesse before he looked sharply at Taiga. This jerk of an ex-boyfriend of his actually dared to claim his works? How dare he when he only used his name?! 

“Interesting,” Hokuto said, his voice laced with sarcasm as he extended his hand toward Taiga for a handshake, “I’m a fan of your works, Kyomoto-san,” he added heavily.

As he had expected, Taiga didn’t refuse. Hokuto tried to match Taiga’s calculating stare while they shook hands; the same hand that he used to hold and kiss felt disconnected from his grasp, as he shook off memories that tried to resurface.

“Thank you, Matsumura-san.”

***

Snow started to fall as they left Nagano, Taiga could finally relax after a stifling late lunch he had to endure. How could the world be so small? He was earlier convinced that fate was helping him to get Kouchi, but now he thought otherwise, fate wanted to make fun of a greedy businessman like him by meeting Hokuto again. 

Hokuto, who’d not only gotten more handsome, his undeniable sex appeal was off the charts that it could tempt even a saint. 

“Hokuto with his half-white boyfriend, Jesse,” Taiga mused. He used to think of different scenarios if he meets Hokuto again, but he could never have guessed that he would be the one left standing on the same ground. He knew he shouldn’t feel aggrieved, he’d been unfair to Hokuto, he broke up with him in the most unacceptable manner, and selfish as it might seem, he always hoped that if he met Hokuto again, both of them had moved on.

“Have you booked me a flight tonight?” He asked his secretary, he had no intention of spending another day in Tokyo. 

“I’m sorry, Kyomoto-sama, I checked all the airlines, but they are fully booked. The earliest flight I could find would be tomorrow at 9 in the morning.”

Taiga sighed. “Very well. Better than nothing.” He returned his attention to the gloomy skies outside. He should be rejoicing, because Kouchi finally agreed to invest in his company. He would even travel to New York by next week to sign the deal, but all Taiga could do was give fake smiles seeing how Hokuto and Jesse not only looked good together, they seemed really compatible as well.

“He looks happier…”  

“Ah, Abarero has replied to my email –”

“Tell them it doesn't matter,” he cuts in. “They also don’t need to release an official statement as long as they take down all the articles, and prevent the picture from circulating further.”

“Are you sure, Kyomoto-sama? Their director wanted to meet you.”

“Whatever for? Anyway, I’ll be gone tomorrow, there’s no need to make a fuss,” he said as the pilot announced that they would be landing in Tokyo soon. 

“And there’s no need for their author to change their pseudonym, well, not yet anyway,” he added. He would explain everything to Kouchi later after the ink had dried. 

***

“What just happened back there?” Jesse asked as soon as they settled into their seats. “How did you become my boyfriend and why did you let him go and pretend to be you as the author?” 

“Relax,” Hokuto said calmly even though he was far from Zen. He’d been a nerve-wreck since meeting Taiga, and he couldn’t enjoy the sumptuous lunch ordered for them when Taiga was seated across from him. Time had been kind to his jerk of an ex-boyfriend. Taiga’s androgynous looks had gotten sharper, yet he still looked delicate and even ethereal. 

“Hokuto!” Jesse called, breaking him out of his reverie. 

“Ah…where were we?” 

“What were you thinking earlier?” 

“Ah…yes,” he mumbled, scratching his eyebrows, “sorry for getting you caught off-guard, but I decided to test Kouchi.” 

“How?” Jesse asked, still looking dubious.

“You know what they say, envy is part of human nature, so I wanted to see if Kouchi would look envious that you have a boyfriend.” 

Jesse’s eyes widened upon realizing his good intentions. “And what did you see?”

Hokuto bit his lower lip, before saying politely, “He looked…he doesn’t really care much.”

Jesse deflated on his seat. “That mean he is straight?” 

“Quite hard to gauge. I mean, he might not be jealous, because he only sees you as a friend, but who knows what might change if you confess? Or maybe he’ll realize his feelings for you go beyond friendship when he gets to know you more?”

“So I have to make him fall deeper for me?”

Hokuto nodded. 

“But how do I do that when he knows we’re dating? Wouldn’t that make me a man-whore?”

“I thought that’s what you want with your hairstyle?” Hokuto quipped and Jesse glared at him. 

“We can pretend to be dating for a while, then we break up. Badly. You will break up with me with just a LINE message, then you will block me everywhere, then I will learn you are no longer in Japan and you’ll be dating a popstar after just a month of a break-up, then…" He let out a deep breath, noticing that he was too unnecessarily aggravated, while Jesse is looking more and more scared of him. 

"Then, you’re going to act all heartbroken and let him comfort you,” he finished.

“Ooooh…” Jesse mumbled, still looking at him with concern. "I guess that method still works?"

Hokuto nodded even though he was also unsure. 

“Ah, what about Kyomoto Taiga? Why do you think he claimed to be you and why did you let him get away with it? And how did you arrive at that pen name in the first place? Do you know another Kyomoto Taiga?” 

Hokuto sighed. Jesse received a lot of bombs earlier, he might as well get this over with. “No, it’s him. I used his name as my pen name.”

Jesse frowned. 

“Of course, he doesn’t know the writer is me.” 

Jesse still looked so confused and asked, “So…does that mean you know him? Do you know each other? It didn’t look like earlier.”

Hokuto smirked. “We just didn’t know each other. We used to date.”

“Eh?!” Jesse gasped all too loudly, prompting Hokuto to cover his mouth when passengers started looking at them. 

“Small world,” Jesse whispered afterward. “So what do you plan to do now?” 

“Nothing,” he said with a shrug. “Knowing that coward, he is definitely looking for the earliest flight back to the US.”

“But what if he stays for a while?” 

“He wouldn’t,” he insisted.

“But what if he stays for a while?” Jesse repeated. 

“What are you trying to say?” He asked impatiently. 

“You help me with Kouchi, I’ll help you with Kyomoto.” 

Hokuto frowned. “But why would I be needing your help about Taiga?” 

Jesse grinned mischievously. “As you’ve said, jealousy is part of a human’s nature, and I think I saw bits of that earlier. He was practically shooting laser beams earlier with his eyes.”

“You’re bluffing,” he said, ignoring how his heart almost skipped in joy with just a thought.

Jesse scoffed. “Your ears are so red,” he teased as the train started moving. 

“I’m allergic to sound waves produced by trains.”

Jesse guffawed, and Hokuto chose to ignore him as he gazed outside, snow starting to fall. He would treat it as a small victory if Taiga did get jealous of Jesse, not because he wanted to get his ex back, but because he wanted nothing but for Taiga to feel pain every time he saw him. 

Just pain. 

Taiga crossed his legs and repeatedly drummed a finger on the table as though his ship was about to flip and he needed to send an emergency Morse code. He’d been extremely nice lately, and he blamed it for this mess, he should have remained a bitch in the first place. 

“Have some tea,” said Morimoto Shintaro, whom Taiga learned is an author’s agent for Abarero. Consequently, he is the agent of the author who used his name, but he refused to divulge any details about his ward. 

“Thank you,” he said, not bothering to pick up the tea. He should have been on a flight to New York, and he should have had his first meal inflight, but in a cruel twist of fate, all his plans were destroyed. 

First, after a weekend of silence, Abarero decided to come clean and released a statement that the Kyomoto Taiga in the picture is not their writer, who wished to remain anonymous. Abarero’s statement led to his second plan being destroyed, Kouchi called him a liar, which admittedly he is, and canceled their deal.

“While we wait for our director -”

“Director?” He asked in clipped tones. “Didn’t I ask you to call your author?” 

“I did,” Shintaro said, looking a bit shaken by his demeanor. “But our director also wished to meet you.”

Taiga’s brows burrowed, why is this director so insistent on meeting him? They heard a terse knock on the door and when it opened, Taiga’s eyes widened when a familiar face entered the meeting room.

“Ah, director, this is -”

The director raised his hand, signaling for Shintaro to stop while he smirked at Taiga. A grin he knew so well.

“I bet you didn’t expect this.” 

Taiga snorted. “Damn right, I didn’t.” 

Shintaro looked back and forth at them in bewilderment. 

“I apologized that you got dragged into this, Kyomo.” 

Taiga sighed, all his plans of becoming an insufferable bitch were quickly diffused upon seeing an old friend. “You still owe me an explanation, Juri.” 

“You know each other?” Shintaro clarified. 

They both nodded and Juri added, “Why don’t we go out for a coffee while I explain why I used your name, Kyomo?” 

Taiga scowled. “Huh? Did you just say….what I think you said?” 

Shintaro looked as baffled as him while Juri remained as cool as a cucumber. 

“Why, yes, Kyomo. I’m the Yuri author, Kyomoto Taiga.” 

***

Hokuto had always been an introvert, but he never thought that the day would come when he dreaded answering his phone. The first call came at 7 in the morning, Jesse called to say that Kouchi just called him and shared that his business deal with Taiga was canceled after the latter was caught lying. That was when Hokuto learned that his agency had finally released a statement concerning the said picture that made rounds in SNS. Now, Jesse wanted to come clean to Kouchi about their “relationship”, he feared that Kouchi would drop him as easily as he dropped Taiga. 

The second call came at 8 in the morning, Shintaro informed him that it was their director, Tanaka Juri, who made the clarification and sent a fax message to the press. They managed to withhold information on his real identity, but they couldn’t manage further when Kyomoto Taiga himself came strutting in Abarero. 

For all his bluster before, Hokuto didn’t think he was ready to reveal himself. His hands went cold and clammy when the director sent him a LINE message, but surprisingly, Juri told him to relax and just go on about his day, and he would take care of everything. 

Hokuto checked his phone again, and there had been no message from Shintaro or Juri. He looked at the clock in his salon and it was almost 12 noon, could he assume that things worked out well on his end? 

He took a deep breath and went out for lunch, his last client for the day won’t be arriving until past 2 in the afternoon. He was still agitated to be eating properly, so he went to a coffee shop for something light. He was still mulling over what he referred to as the “Taiga Matter”, he kept on checking his phone, and it was too late for him to notice as he crashed on the cafe’s glass door, a pang of pain vibrated all over his face and to the back of his head. 

He yelped in agony, he might have broken his nose as blood oozed. 

“Ah…I’m sorry.”

He looked up and of all the people who could injure him, it had to be Taiga. 

“Are you okay?” Taiga had the nerve to ask. 

“Do I look okay?” He snapped. 

Taiga didn’t seem too concerned about his predicament, he simply handed him his hanky. “It doesn’t look too serious.” 

Hokuto took Taiga’s hanky, twisted it, and shoved it up to his bleeding nose. “Yeah, right. You don’t care about other people's pain as long as you're fine.” 

“Excuse me?” 

The door opened again and Hokuto was too shocked to stop himself from saying, “Ah, Director, why are you here?” 

“Do you know each other?” Taiga asked, shooting them questioning glances. 

Hokuto wanted to reply disparagingly at his ex, but his foggy brain became clear and everything just clicked.

“Of course, I know him!” Juri said quickly, placing an arm around him. “I’m one of his clients.” 

Hokuto nodded, agreeing with his director. “Yeah, I do his hair.” 

“Ah, really? I thought you had more sense than paying for an overpriced haircut.”

Hokuto scoffed. “Frankly, my clients get me cheaply when I’m so talented.”

“How about the two of you? Do you know each other?” Juri asked when Shintaro also came out of the coffee shop. Hokuto and he gave each other a glance, and they both understood that they should shut up. 

Hokuto chose to wait for Taiga to answer, he didn’t trust himself not to fuck up. 

“How did we know each other?” Taiga repeated. “Let’s just say he ruined my hair and he’s the reason why I no longer want my hair long.” 

Hokuto turned up his nose. What the fuck is Taiga insinuating? Why is he making it sound like he was at fault as much as he was in their failed relationship? He wanted to confront him, but he knew it would be impossible with Juri and Shintaro watching them. 

“Excuse me, I have another important meeting to attend,” Taiga said to all of them, before turning back to him. “You may throw my hanky afterward,” he added. 

“What was that all about?” Shintaro asked when Taiga was out of earshot.

Hokuto turned to his director and agent. “I asked the same thing, what was that all about? What did you talk about with Taiga?” 

Juri replied first, “Don’t worry about a thing, Hokuto, I told him I used your name.” 

“W-what?” 

“I told him, I’m the Kyomoto Taiga.” 

***

“You know how much I like you, Kyomo.”

Taiga quickly popped an Advil after arriving at his destination. He could feel an incoming major headache and he blamed it on Juri and Hokuto. How could the world be so small?     

“....of course, you probably won’t believe that.”

Taiga shook his head as he rang the doorbell. Juri was definitely pulling his leg. Would it be so rude of him if he still didn’t believe Juri? He never really thought that Juri’s feelings for him were real, or maybe they could be real, but he didn’t think that it ran that deep. How many times did Juri say he likes him, but he would be dating someone else the very next day? Their college life was spent with Juri dating someone different every month and from every department.  

However, there was something else, something that kept nagging in his head that he couldn’t let go. Taiga was sure, Juri knew the person hiding behind his name. 

“You have the nerve, how did you find where I live?” 

Taiga bit his lower lip and spoke meekly to Kouchi via the intercom, “If you want to know, please let me in.”

“Why do I need to listen to another lie?” 

Taiga winced. “I know I lied, it was unintentional, so please give me another chance. Someone like you is really needed by our company.”

“I’m sure that’s also a lie, I wonder how many lies you’ve told me.” 

“There weren’t –” Taiga hesitated to continue as he clenched his hand into a fist, “Well, there is another thing I sort of lied about. Remember the man who you met back at your log cabin?” 

“Matsumura-san?”

Taiga nodded. “Yeah. I already know him. H-he is my ex-boyfriend.” 

Taiga waited for a reply, but there was none, and when he thought of leaving, he heard something whirred, and the gate opened. Taiga timidly entered Kouchi’s Tokyo residence and found him waiting on top of the staircase, his arms crossed, and looking like a dad who had prepared a lengthy scolding to his son. 

“Uhm, thank you for agreeing to meet me and I’m sorry -”

Kouchi signaled for him to stop speaking. “I didn’t let you in to talk about business.” 

“Oh! Then?” 

“I’ll be meeting your ex-boyfriend and his current boyfriend for dinner, I need you to accompany me.” 

Taiga gaped. There was no way he would endure another meal with Hokuto. 

“Then, we could talk about business afterward,” Kouchi added and his mind immediately changed. 

“Even if the dinner is in Hokkaido, I’ll gladly go,” he replied quickly.

“And another thing I hope you would agree-”

“I wholeheartedly agree,” he said before Kouchi could finish. 

“Then, allow me to pretend that I’m interested in you.”

“Hmmm….why?” Maybe he shouldn’t have agreed immediately. 

“I’ll tell you later if the dinner is successful.” 

Taiga pursed his lips, knowing full well he was not in any position to make demands. 

***

“I’m sure you have lots of questions about why I did that,” Juri said, pouring him a drink, which he politely accepted and drank. He’d been writing for Abarero for more than a year, and except on company occasions, he never drank with his director. In fact, he couldn’t recall that they ever spoke for more than 5 minutes. 

“And I hope you’ll grant me some answers, director.” Hokuto knew Shintaro might have told their director the reason for him using a pseudonym, and now he will know why Juri didn’t even question or try to stop him.

“Kyomo and I went to the same Uni, different courses, but we were flatmates. And I like him. But I got rejected once, twice, frankly, I lost count.” 

Hokuto kept his expressions subdued, there was nothing to be happy about. He cleared his throat and asked, “Do you still like him? That’s why you pretended to be me?” 

“I already like someone else,” Juri replied with such a serious expression that Hokuto felt nervous for some reason. “And I hope that person I like would use this opportunity to move on now that I severed this tie he has with his ex,” he added. 

Hokuto blinked his eyes hard. “Uhm, is it someone I know?” 

“Of course, because it is you.” 

Hokuto thought the private room they were in was closing on him as he could hear nothing but the thudding of his heart. Is Juri joking? Has April Fools been moved? Is this a hidden-camera prank? 

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Juri asked as though he read his mind. “But I’m not offended, I’ve gotten used to people thinking I’m either flirting, looking for a one-night stand, or just a fling. Took me a year to confess to you, surely, that degree of patience meant that I’m really serious about you.” 

Hokuto was still too shocked to react. Not only has he had a pretend-boyfriend with Jesse, but now he even received a confession from his superior, whom he never spoke with for more than 5 minutes. 

Juri continued, “I believed in second chances, Hokuto, I believe that all rejected lovers deserved a second chance, but with someone new,” he finished with a grin. 

Taiga tried his best to swallow his steak while Hokuto and Jesse were all lovey-dovey in front of him. He knew it was his fault that Hokuto had a dressing on his nose, but it was not like he couldn’t use his hands, and he didn’t see the reason why Jesse had to feed Hokuto as though he was an invalid. 

“To be young and in love,” Kouchi whispered, sounding so impressed with the irritating view in front of them. 

“To be young and moronic,” he wanted to say. He didn’t know if Kouchi was taunting him, and did Kouchi expect him to be jealous of his ex? Pleaseeeeee. 

“By the way, Kyomoto-san,” Hokuto said, “I have some questions about the latest chapter — ah, I forgot, those aren’t your works.” 

Taiga cocked an eyebrow while Jesse stifled a laugh. 

He slowly sliced his steak as he said, “Abarero is lucky I decided not to sue and chose compassion.” 

“Have you found out who has been using your name?” Kouchi asked. 

“An old friend. We were flatmates in college.” 

“Oh…and why did he use your name?” Asked Kouchi.

Taiga turned and looked straight at Hokuto as he answered, “I’m sure he was kidding when he said something about not getting over his unrequited love.” 

Hokuto scoffed and they both sneered at one another when their server arrived with a plate of 4 cocktail glasses filled with what looked like a concoction of tomatoes and shrimp. 

“Compliments from the chef for Jesse-sama, Mexican-style Shrimp Cocktail .” 

“Oooh, thank you,” Jesse excitedly said as he picked up a glass and scooped a spoonful. “Try it first, Hokuto.” 

Taiga smiled snidely and goaded, “Yeah, try it first, Matsumura-san.” 

If Hokuto was distraught, he surely hid it well. Taiga could see that Jesse and Hokuto are very familiar with each other, it also appeared that they’ve been together for quite some time. So why? Why doesn’t Jesse know that Hokuto is allergic to shrimp?  

“I don’t think shrimp and steak go well together,” Hokuto reasoned. 

“Mmmmh, this tastes good!” Kouchi said, completely oblivious to Hokuto’s suffering. 

“Oh, you got to try it then, Hokuto,” Jesse said while Taiga’s eyes remained on Hokuto, challenging him to eat the shrimp. 

“V-very well,” Hokuto said and ate a spoonful. He cast a quick glare toward Taiga as he swallowed. “Hmmm, it is really good,” he said. 

“Do you want more?” Jesse asked, but before he could scoop another spoonful, Hokuto quickly excused himself to the loo. 

***

Hokuto’s name might be about the stars, but he never believed in astrology. However, there must be something with this day; the alignment of stars, planets, sun, and moon must have negated his own signs which were why he was having an unfortunate day. The first was that his nose got almost broken. Second was that his agency came clean about his identity, but someone volunteered to pin it to themselves. The Third was that someone delivered earth-shattering news that he likes him. And fourth was that he had to eat shrimp, fed by his pretend-boyfriend, and watched by his ex. 

He was so busy with his thoughts that he almost yelped when a strong hand hit his back, making him cough violently, until he felt a wave of nausea, and everything he just ate was now in the sink. 

“Better?” 

He whirled around and hollered, “You! Are you trying to paralyze me? You could have broken my spine.” 

Taiga scoffed as he gathered paper towels, ran them quickly under the tap, and shove it on his lips. “Which will come first, paralysis or being unable to breathe?” 

“You know that my allergy is not that bad,” he said, wiping his mouth. 

“But it doesn’t mean you should tempt fate.” Hokuto noticed a pillbox in Taiga’s hand. “Here, drink this, an antihistamine.” 

Hokuto looked at the tablet with suspicion, not because he thought Taiga is planning to kill him, but why would Taiga go around carrying an antihistamine tablet? 

“I’m not carrying this around for you,” Taiga said, smiling condescendingly at him, “I sometimes drink one when I can’t sleep, they’re milder than sleeping pills.” 

“I didn’t say you were,” he said defensively, opening up his palm to receive the pill. 

“Just so we’re clear. I’ll head back first,” Taiga said. 

Taiga was almost at the door when Hokuto spoke again, “Remember how I found out I’m allergic to shrimp?” 

Taiga broke into a smile. “Yeah, back at that attic –”

The supposed start of a conversation was cut short when the door opened and a couple of guys came in. Taiga recalled he should be leaving and excused himself, while Hokuto cleaned up after himself. When he returned to their table, he found Kouchi and Jesse immersed in a conversation that he hesitated to join them and wondered where Taiga went.

“Kyomoto-san received an urgent call, sounds like an emergency so he quickly left,” Jesse said. 

“I see,” he said and whispered to Jesse, “I’d better leave the two of you alone.” 

“No,” Jesse said with urgency, grabbing his arm tight, and added, “I need you here.” 

“Why?” 

Jesse ignored him and turned his attention back to Kouchi. “You were saying earlier?” 

“About Taiga….someone like him who even dated an international popstar, do you think he will like someone like me?” 

Jesse gripped his arm hard Hokuto was sure it would leave marks, but he did the same on Jesse’s thigh because he couldn’t believe what he just heard. Kouchi likes Taiga? No wonder Taiga was forgiven easily for his lie.

He mildly shook his head, wondering if today is also some kind of a “World Confession Day”, but you should only confess to the most unlikely person, just like with Juri earlier.

“Someone like you is infinitely better than a thousand popstars,” Jesse said and Hokuto felt weeping for his friend. He wished Kouchi would hear how much Jesse likes him from those words alone. 

“You’re being biased because we’re friends,” Kouchi said, drinking his remaining wine straight. 

Jesse waved his hand, obviously tipsy as well. “Nah, I’m just telling the truth.”

He patted his friend’s shoulder and refilled their glasses with wine. “Jesse’s right, what did he see in him? His songs weren’t even that good. He even looked detached from reality most of the time,” he chimed in, scoffing, and recalling how he used to leave unsavory comments to any news about the said popstar when he was dating Taiga. 

“But that’s the mysterious thing about love, right?” Kouchi said, his speech starting to slur. “Outsiders can never see what you saw in someone that looks so wrong for you.”

“Agree,” Jesse said. “But you know what, even those right for you are also finding it hard to make you see their feelings.” 

Hokuto smiled. He really better leave these two alone. Maybe the wine would do its magic, make their tongues looser, as well as everything else. He stood up, and before he could make an excuse, Jesse flopped, his forehead landing on the table with a loud thud. 

“Jess? Jess?” He shook Jesse hard, but he couldn't rouse. 

“I can’t believe a bottle of wine finished him off,” Kouchi said, before collapsing on the table as well. 

Hokuto sighed in frustration as he muttered, “I can’t wait for this day to be over.” 

***

Sweat ran down Taiga’s face, while the “baggage” he carried seemed to grow heavier with each step. He paused and took a deep breath, cursing under his breath why he chose the farthest room from the elevator. 

“Can you move along? Stopping only makes things worse.” 

He took another deep breath and pumped all his energy into glancing behind him and glaring at Hokuto. “Carry your boyfriend then,” he muttered, regretting why he ever bothered returning to the restaurant. He should have stuck with his alibi, but no, he decided to return thinking that a slightly drunk Kouchi would be more amiable in talking business.

Hokuto smiled apologetically, but Taiga could see him gloating. “I’m too weak because I threw up everything I ate, whose fault was that?” 

Taiga bit his lower lip as Hokuto lightly tapped his bandage nose. “And my nose might bleed again if I force myself to carry Jesse, whose fault was that again?” 

Taiga could only sigh as he took another step, grunting while dragging Jesse behind like a cross as his punishment. When they finally reached his room, he didn’t have the energy to lift his arm. 

“Hokuto, can you get my keycard?” 

“Where?” 

“Front pocket of my pants on the left.” 

Hokuto unbuttoned his coat and slid his hand into his pants, accidentally patting his dick. “I can’t feel any keycard.” 

“I…said…left, ” he said with gritted teeth.

“Ah, sorry.” Hokuto moved to his left pocket and successfully retrieved his keycard. Hokuto opened the door and Taiga used all his remaining energy to sprint and get Jesse on the bed. He could only breathe a sigh of relief when he finally freed himself from the giant. 

“Kouchi might look light, but he’s heavy as well,” Hokuto said after a while, like him, Hokuto didn't bother getting up on the bed where he placed Kouchi. “Ah, the trains will stop soon, I’d better go-” 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“My apartment.”

Taiga could only gape at the incredulity. “You’re going to leave them to me?! Even your man?”

Hokuto shrugged, making him look cray for overreacting. “They’re dead drunk, what can they do?” 

Taiga finally got up. “There are twin beds, which could perfectly sleep two people, you stay here. I’ll sleep with Kouchi.” 

“You will sleep with Kouchi?” Hokuto repeated, acting shocked. 

“Beside Kouchi,” he clarified, turning off his phone’s alarm. “I have a ZOOM meeting, you can use the shower first.”

***

“Play and end up being played.” Hokuto thought that spiking their red wine with vodka would make it easier for Jesse and Kouchi to talk, but he was wrong. They still spoke with caution, and even a hard drinker like Jesse actually passed out. But what he never saw coming was ending up in Taiga’s hotel room, showering in his bathroom, and even wearing his clothes. 

“So typical,” he mused, seeing that the only beauty product Taiga has is a face lotion and a sunblock. He ended up using the hotel’s complimentary toiletries, and he was quite impressed to see that they were of a famous beauty brand. 

He was also glad that Taiga requested a futon, Jesse’s long legs were splayed on the bed, leaving no extra room for him. He pretended to be busy with his phone when Taiga got out of the bathroom, he was able to overhear his ZOOM meeting earlier, and he hated that he felt proud hearing how Taiga’s English had vastly improved. Maybe having an English-speaking popstar boyfriend actually did him good.

“Are you sure you're okay over there?”

Hokuto simply nodded. He decided to spread his futon on the space between two beds, which was enough for 1, leaving no room for Taiga's futon. Not that he was expecting Taiga to lay beside him. 

“Do you need ice?”

Hokuto looked up and frowned as Taiga pointed at his nose, and he knew that the bruising had gone from light green to blackish. 

“I'm fine, the clinic actually gave me an extra transparent dressing earlier, but I'm saving it for tomorrow.”

“Okay, I'll turn off the lights then,” he said and in seconds, the room plunged into darkness saved for his phone screen.

“Uhm, Hokuto.”

“Hmmm?”

“Can you give me some light? I can't see -”

Hokuto turned on his phone's flashlight and Taiga quickly ran to his futon by the window. 

“Thank you.”

Hokuto turned off his light and realized he could now stop pretending to be doing something. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, it had already been past his bedtime, but eventually, he resumed staring at the ceiling. He wondered if Taiga was still awake and his curiosity was answered.

“Are you still awake?” Taiga asked.

He wanted to say yes, but his pride wouldn't let him. There was no need to have a late-night convo with Taiga as though they were friends.

“Are you really dating Jesse?” He continued and Hokuto forgot all about sleeping.

“Do you doubt it because he didn’t even know I’m allergic to shrimp?” He asked after a while, hoping Taiga hadn’t fallen asleep. 

“Nah…he looks differently at Kouchi, if you know what I mean.” 

As though Jesse was listening, he started mumbling, “Kouchi~” in his sleep, prompting Hokuto to pull the covers up and over Jesse’s head. 

“Was that Jesse saying something?” 

“He was…something about ‘ achi ’, it’s hot?” 

“Ahh, then why did you cover him with a blanket if it’s hot?”

“Did I? Wait, I thought you can’t see in the dark?” He asked dubiously. 

“W-well, I did see the blanket move.”

“Tch,” he muttered and returned to his futon. Jesse and he were really planning on coming clean to Kouchi, but they didn’t expect that he would bring Taiga, and they also didn’t expect that Kouchi would confess to liking Taiga. Everything else just became confusing as the night deepened. He checked his phone for the time and the day has changed, could he hope that his luck has improved? 

“Your observation is correct,” he said after a while. Unsure why he relented. “As keen as always, Detective Conan.”

“I see,” was Taiga’s somber reply. “Why would you admit it?” 

Hokuto took a deep breath, before saying, “Because someone else confessed to me earlier. I, at 27 years old, received a confession.” 

“....and how did you answer?”

“How should I answer, Taiga, when I didn’t even know how I failed my last?” 

A deafening silence followed, and all Hokuto could do was sigh in frustration. What did he expect from Taiga? Even back then, Taiga loved to do things with so little explanation, and he had always been the understanding one and followed all his whims. 

He was about to bury his face in the pillow when Taiga finally spoke. 

“Have you heard of this? Never ever explain yourself to anyone -”

“Oh, fuck off,” he cuts in, surprised that he was able to say that without raising his voice. “Just admit that you don’t think I’m worthy enough to get an explanation.” 

“That is not true!” Taiga argued and Hokuto was startled when Taiga crawled to the foot of his futon.

“You don’t see the need to explain to me, because you never treated me as your equal.”

“Why would you even think that way?”

“Because you never explain, Taiga, you never-”

“Shut up!”

Both of them stared wide-eyed when Jesse sat up and yelled. Their eyes turned to Kouchi as well when he stirred and mumbled something, before turning his back against them. Their eyes returned to Jesse, whose eyes were still closed as he added, “Shhhh,” before falling back on his bed. 

They glowered at one another, Taiga returned to his futon, and Hokuto buried his face in the pillow, but the pain in his nose made him face the ceiling again. He was still seething, and he couldn't rest until he had the last say. 

He sat up and declared, “By the way, about that confession, I’m going to say yes.” 

Hokuto had always told his employees to never ever bring their personal struggles to work. He’d rather have them take a day off to sort out their issues than let those issues affect their work performance. But here he is, not practicing what he preached. 

“It’s only been a week, why is he back again?” He snapped at his receptionist while he made his coffee. “Tell him trimming is every 3 weeks to maintain that hairstyle.”

“I already said that sir-”

“If he insists on seeing me, tell him he has to wait until all my appointments for today are over. Now, can I have my breakfast in peace?”

His receptionist bowed curtly and left him in the pantry. Hokuto sighed. He knew he was being supercilious, but he was still pissed at Taiga. So pissed that he used 3 coffee pods, the bitterness was enough to give him reflux and probably even an ulcer, but it still wasn’t enough. He opened his phone and checked the comments for the latest chapter he uploaded, maybe a bit of validation from his beloved readers would improve his mood.

“This story is taking too long, already in chapter 6, and still no action, they are still talking? Give me some tongue please,” he reads and his simmering rage reaches a tipping point. He immediately put down his coffee and with two hands, typed as fast as he could, “ Stop projecting your delusions onto my characters, you idiot, and if you think this is slow, then go start writing your own story, let’s see how fast you can come up with a chapter! ”

He hit reply and quickly scanned his comment for any typos, before moving to the next comment. 

“Samara’s problem shouldn’t be a problem if she would just date a man.” 

He cracked his knuckles before typing, “And her problem stems from men like you who think they are better because they have a cock, when that’s the only thing you could ever be proud of, which you can’t even make last.” He hit reply, and he received a call from Shintaro before he could even reply to the next comment. 

“Hello…” he greeted glumly.

“Didn’t I tell you to never argue in the comments section?” Shintaro bellowed on the other line. 

Hokuto is still too miffed to even feel sorry. “I need an outlet, or I might go shaving off everyone’s hair in the salon.” 

“I don’t care even if you shave your own head and become a monk, in fact, that’s what you should do, become a monk so you’ll know how to deal with your anger.”

“But-”

“I’m disabling your account, you can’t leave comments from now on. Bye.” 

Hokuto groaned and finished his coffee when he received a LINE message from Juri, “Are you free for lunch?” 

Hokuto sighed. He might as well welcome this distraction and agree to Juri’s invitation. He could also only hope that Taiga was in an equally worse mood than he is. 

***

“If you can’t finish those poached eggs, I’ll eat them.” 

Taiga simply passed the eggs on Jesse’s plate. 

“Are you finished with that butter? Can I have the rest?” Kouchi asked and Taiga listlessly passed it to him. He sighed and watched as Kouchi and Jesse ate their breakfast with gusto. He didn’t have the energy to ask why they were still with him when Hokuto was gone once all of them had woken up. All Hokuto left was a neatly folded futon along with his clothes that he borrowed. 

He sighed and slowly stirred his hot chocolate, he felt crestfallen, it was as though all his life’s decisions had all been wrong and that he would never be happy again. 

He was too busy moping he didn’t even know that Kouchi have gone back to the buffet when Jesse spoke, “Do you want me to find out who confessed to Hokuto?” 

“Hmmm?”

“Do you want me to find out who confessed to Hokuto?” He repeated. 

Taiga remained agog. 

“Or would you rather have me continue to pretend that I didn’t hear anything last night?” 

Taiga swallowed the lump in his throat. “Why would you help me?” 

Jesse shrugged. “It’s not free. You have to promise me that if Kouchi asks you out, you will reject him.” Taiga could detect a threat in Jesse’s line and he fought hard not to smile, if only Jesse knew. 

“But what if Kouchi refuses to invest in my company because I rejected him?” He teased, knowing that Kouchi would never confess to him. 

“Easy.” Jesse pulled out his phone and showed him his screen. “I have more than 2000 important people in my contact list, I’ll find you investors. So do we have a deal?” 

Taiga pretended to hesitate for a bit before he shook hands with Jesse. “Get my contact number as well.” 

They just finished exchanging contacts when Kouchi arrived with a plate of fruits, while Jesse excused himself to get more hotdogs.  

“Do you want some?” Kouchi offered.

“I’m good…I’m not really in the mood to eat,” he said. He was not even in the mood to talk about business with Kouchi. 

“I don’t want you to think that I’m a busybody or something, but how did you break up with Hokuto?” 

Taiga sighed. “Have you been dying to ask me that?” 

Kouchi nodded repeatedly. “Since last night when you two broke off in an argument.” 

Taiga sighed once more, he couldn’t even feel embarrassed by what he was about to say. “I broke up with him through LINE.” 

Kouchi’s jaw was left hanging for a minute before he slowly shook his head. “Did you run off with his money or something? Why would you end it like that?” 

Taiga ended up sighing again. “Let’s just say that I was too immature to know better. Though I regret to say that I don’t think I’ve gotten mature since then.” 

“So what do you plan to do now?” 

“I don’t know,” he said slowly. “All my plans have been thrown off the moment I got here in Japan, never crossed my mind that I’ll cross paths with Hokuto, and frankly, I told myself to avoid him at all costs.” 

“Which you didn’t get to do,” Kouchi said. 

“Funny that. Life never gives me what I want.”

“Maybe because life knows what you need instead,” Kouchi said, finishing his fruit platter. “Hmmm, are you still interested in him though?” 

“Would I pretend to be carrying an antihistamine for sleep when all of them are now non-drowsy?” 

Kouchi looked inquiringly at him when Jesse arrived with a plate of salad and more fruits. “I noticed you like fruits, maybe you want more?” He told Kouchi. 

“Uhm, I’m already quite full, but I’ll share it with you.” 

Taiga didn’t want to watch a blossoming romance in front of him so he excused himself and returned to his room where he slumped on the bed. He let out a deep sigh, feeling like the earth is crushing on him, and all the defenses he built around Hokuto were toppled one by one. 

“You should be happy, Hokuto, you’ve never left my mind. I was thinking of you even in my sleep,” he muttered. Hokuto used to say that if he thinks about Taiga 24/7, Taiga must have only thought of him if he sees a shiba-inu . 

“I should have never gone back here.” His original reason for being in Tokyo was quickly being eclipsed by the feelings he thought had long been buried. A message arrived on his phone and he sighed again, he might as well meet the other person he wanted to avoid - his father. 

***

“...you know what I hate more? It’s that if he apologized, I would still take him back. But Kyomoto Taiga apologizing?” Hokuto said, scoffing and shaking his head. “Never in a million years, and because of that, even if he begged me, I would never, never get back with him!” He finished and drank his iced tea straight. He just committed one of the taboos of dating, and that never ever talk about your ex. 

“I really don’t want to hear about Taiga,” Juri said with a smile. He was about to apologize but Juri stopped him. “But I’m happy to know that you have no plans of getting back together with him. I guess that means I have a chance.” 

Hokuto swallowed the lump in his throat as he refilled his glass. He couldn’t admit to his boss that he only agreed to this “date” as a distraction, or he might have gone on shaving everyone’s hair off in his salon. Although he told Taiga that he would agree to this confession, he found it extremely hard to agree with someone he hasn’t even spoken to for more than 5 minutes. He glanced at the time on his phone and realized that he did speak to his boss for more than 5 minutes today, but the topic is none other than his ex. 

“Uhm…T-tanaka-”

“I told you to call me Juri.” 

“Right,” Hokuto said with a sigh. “Juri. Uhm, do-do you really like me?” 

Juri smiled with confidence. “Why do you doubt it?” 

“It just sounds impossible. I mean, what could you possibly like in me?” Most people think of him as being the epitome of confidence, but they were all wrong. Hokuto is probably the most insecure and worrisome person on earth. 

“What could I not like in you?” 

Hokuto grinned. “Do you want me to start enumerating my unsavory qualities?” 

“Probably not,” Juri said, looking baffled. “Where do I start? Hmmm, you first caught my interest when you chose to call yourself Kyomoto Taiga.” 

“Which now I think is a huge mistake. I should have listened to Shintaro from the get-go and-” he paused when he realized that he was about to go on another tirade about Taiga. “Go on, Tana…Juri.”

“Then I read your first work and found it charming.” 

Hokuto beamed, his praise kink level slowly increasing. 

“Your next works were just as delightful.”

Hokuto beamed more. 

“Then I noticed a recurring theme in your works.” 

“Hmmm?” Hokuto tips his head inquiringly. 

“Your characters remained the same; met as kids, fell in love later, the other leaves, they meet again, one forgives, and they fall in love again. Second chance. Always a second chance.” 

Hokuto drank his iced tea straight again. “It might look like I’m projecting, but I’m not. It just happens.” 

“It doesn’t really matter how you want your stories to be written. But I think it’s such a waste for someone like you to be pining for a man who didn’t value you the first time.”

“Are you pitying me?” Hokuto asked quietly.

“If it looks that way, then, I’m sorry. But I don’t pity you, I just think you deserve more. Someone like you had so much love to give, isn’t it better to give it to someone who would not only appreciate it, but would be able to reciprocate it?” 

Hokuto let out a deep breath. Something warm and fuzzy coursed through his veins as he stared at Juri. How could his boss, whom he hasn’t spoken with for more than 5 minutes, know that much about him?  How could he unearth desires he’d been denying himself for wanting? 

“So, will you give me the chance to love you, the way you are meant to be loved?” 

It had been a long time since Hokuto felt his heart racing like this, the promise of new love enticed him, it felt exciting, but just as scary. 

“I guess…I should say yes.” 

***

“Nice of you to pay me a visit before I die.”

Taiga smiled. Although he had issues with his father, it was nice to see him well and strong. “I talked to your doctor, he said that you’re definitely healthier than me.” 

“If you only took over the business, you'd be more relaxed, and you didn’t have to chase investors,” Masaki-san said, sipping his tea. 

“I guess you heard how I’d been courting Kouchi Yugo,” he replied, also sipping his tea. “Works tough, but it’s mine.” He knew it would be hard for his father to understand why it meant so much for him to make a name for himself. He didn’t want to be a nepo-baby, he wanted to be his own. 

“And what’s mine will be yours as well, eventually.” 

“I don’t need it, Dad, you can give the business to your employees who’d been working their ass off.” 

His father sighed. “Did you go here to argue?” 

“Nah, I missed my mom’s cooking.” 

His dad harrumphed and for a while, both of them feast their eyes on the garden outside. The landscape’s tranquility seemed to mellow them a bit.  

“I still couldn’t believe you chose that start-up company in New York over mine,” his dad said after a while. “I thought having Hokuto here will be enough to make you stay.” 

Taiga snapped his head back to his father. “You knew about us?” He recalled stopping Hokuto from ever telling his parents and letting him be the one to break the news. 

His father scowled. “Why do you look so surprised? Do you think I’m senile or something?”

“B-b-but-” He stuttered. 

“Of course, I know. Your mother did too. After all, Hokuto asked us for our permission if he could confess his feelings to you.” 

Taiga felt like sinking into his chair. Hokuto did what?  

“Your mother and I were surprised at first, but we thought, Hokuto is such a good kid. He didn’t need to ask us for permission, but he did, we were sure you’ll be in good hands.”

Taiga’s eyes started to well with tears, while the teacup in his hand could very well break from the tightness of his grip. All along, his parents knew, because Hokuto was brave enough to face them more than their own son. 

His father continued, “So imagine our disappointment, not only did you leave, you dated some white man who looked like he snorted coke 24/7. You really chose the wrong time to rebel, you should have just valued what you have. Frankly, you don’t deserve Hokuto.” 

Taiga let his tears flow to the shock of his dad, the realization that not only did he fucked up, he fucked up so bad it was beyond redemption. 

“Uhm, Taiga, are you okay?” 

Taiga wiped away his tears and answered his phone. “Hello?” 

“Taiga, it’s Jesse. I found out who confessed to Hokuto.” 

“Who?” 

“Someone named Tanaka Juri.” 

“So what did you say?”

Hokuto eyed Jesse suspiciously while they ate dinner. “Why are you suddenly interested in my love life?”

Jesse merely shrugged, but Hokuto could tell that Jesse was hiding something from him. “Well, you never really opened up about it until now.” 

Hokuto thought about it. Jesse’s right. He never really shared his relationship with Jesse until Taiga came. 

“So what did you say?” He repeated, his eyes wide with interest. 

Hokuto cleared his throat. “I told him I guessed I should yes-”

“You agreed?!” Jesse roared to his surprise. Something definitely feels off. 

“Why are you shouting at me?”

Jesse did a double-take, before asking, “Was I shouting? You know my voice, that was normal.” 

“No, it’s not.”

“Forget it. Why would you agree with your boss? What do you even know about him? You can’t even write his given name because the kanji is too complicated.” 

Hokuto scowled. “Of course, I can write the kanji of his name.” 

“Really?” Jesse asked, incredulous. “Looks complicated don’t you think? But back to my question, why did you agree? Not that it’s any of business,” he added quickly, “but maybe you’re rushing things and so on.”

Hokuto smiled smugly. It was easy to tell that Jesse already made his love life his business for reasons he would surely make him admit later. 

“I didn’t agree to date him,” he clarified. 

“But you said-”

“I said, ‘I guess I should say yes’. If you heard him, you’ll probably agree as well. It was a confession that no sane person would reject. It was heartfelt and would really make you special. But I guess I’m really a masochist, or I must be out of my mind, or maybe I’m both,” he finished, sighing, and admittedly, with a twinge of regret as his conversation with Juri replayed in his head. 

“I guess I should say yes…but I can’t.”

“You’re still in love with Kyomo?”

Hokuto shook his head. “I can’t also answer that, but I know that I’m not in love with you, that’s why I can’t accept your feelings. You said it yourself, I have so much love to give, and it’s better if I can give it to someone who can appreciate and reciprocate it. You’re in the same boat, you have so much love to give, and it’s better if you give it to someone who can appreciate and reciprocate it. I don’t want to hurt you the way I’m hurting myself. ”

His statement was followed by a long silence, he knew it would be awkward if continued to eat after rejecting someone, so he got up and bid Juri goodbye. 

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize,” Juri cuts in, standing from his seat. “I never really expected you to agree immediately, but I’m happy that you considered.”

“Hmmm?”

“You said it yourself, you can’t say yes, because you’re not in love with me. Then, I should make you fall for me,” he finished with a grin.  

***

Knowing that Jesse and Hokuto weren't really dating gave Taiga a relief he didn't think he'd been waiting for. But knowing that Juri confessed to Hokuto made him restless, and surprisingly, scared. He knew Juri so well that wooing Hokuto would probably be a walk in the park for him. And Hokuto loved to be wooed, he loved to be pursued; something which Taiga barely did when they were together. In his defense, their story was different. 

“That man-whore. The motherfucker. I should have cut off his dick when I had the chance,” Taiga muttered, making Kouchi close his legs. They finally got to talk about business, real business, but they got sidelined when Kouchi asked if he had spoken to Hokuto, and Taiga crumbled and told everything he learned yesterday. Yesterday . Only yesterday. But to Taiga, it seemed like a year of torment. 

Juri and Hokuto, he couldn’t get them out of his head.

“Woah, so this Juri is quite a competition for you?”

Taiga tried to make light of it, rolling his eyes, and telling Kouchi that Juri wouldn't be able to touch Hokuto's fingertips. But after a while, he eventually caved into reality. 

“Let's just say that my biggest advantage is that I know Hokuto better, but that's also my weakness, I know Hokuto enough to know that not only he hates me, he would never make a move again,” he said, followed by a long sigh. 

“So this Juri went from liking you to your ex? Isn’t he also the one who used your name for his works?”

Taiga nodded glumly. Maybe it’s time for him to milk Juri some cash for using his name. 

“Do you think he’s planning something?” Kouchi asked. 

“I thought of that, but I don’t think Juri is such a sneak, and I also don’t want to ask him. I don’t want him to think that I might be interested in him or Hokuto…”

Kouchi looked sarcastically at him. “I’m sorry, but if you weren’t interested in the first place, why tell me these things?” 

“Well, you asked me a question,” he said nonchalantly. 

“Yeah, I did ask you a question, but it was you who decided to pour your hearts out,” he said, smirking. 

“Uhm…”

“Look, Taiga, since you helped me with Jesse, I think it’s safe to say that our relationship has become more than that of mere business partners.” 

Taiga nodded, feeling a bit jealous of Kouchi. At least he now knew that not only Jesse and Hokuto weren’t really dating, but he also knew that Jesse has feelings for him. He wished it would have been that easy on his end. Then, he realized his situation was that easy before, but he didn’t even treasure him. 

“So can I say something?”

Taiga hesitated but nodded nonetheless, and prepared himself to receive Kouchi’s rebuke. 

“Obviously, you still like your ex. You’re still very much into him, right?”

Taiga nodded bashfully.

“But do you want him back?” 

“Of course, I want-”

“No!” Kouchi said, his tone rising. “You’ve got to think this carefully. You’ve messed it up before, you can’t afford another one.”

Taiga scowled. “You’re talking as if…”

“What’s the reason why you broke up?”

Taiga swallowed hard. “I left for the US,” he said. He was not yet ready to tell the whole story. 

“You left? Just like that,” Kouchi said in a voice with an inflection that he is heartless. He continued, “Remember that your main purpose of going back here is to do business with me, Hokuto wasn’t even in your agenda, but all these things happened, and maybe, you’re beginning to regret what you’ve given up?"

Taiga nodded. He regretted it every day.

"Having remorse is a good sign to be given a second chance, but do you mean to stay?"

"Do I mean to stay?" He repeated somberly.

"Taiga, don't try to take Hokuto back if you weren't intending to stay. Don't give him the same heartbreak. It hurts, but maybe, he deserves someone who would be staying with him."

***

“Accepted means ignored”, that was exactly what Hokuto feels about being gay in Japan, although he is accepted by his family and friends, society still chose to ignore him. They looked at his sexuality as a fad, a passing fancy that he would eventually get tired of when a better alternative comes along.

“Maybe you haven’t met the woman who could turn you back into a man,” the make-up artist whispered in his ear as he shivered. He had been cold since he entered the room, and her insistence that they hang out doubled the cold and ire he had been feeling. 

“I’m really good,” she added. “I’m even open to the type of sex you prefer-”

The door opened sharply and not only was Hokuto and the make-up artist startled, he was shocked to see who was behind the door. 

“No means no,” Juri said in clipped tones, “or does that only apply with your ‘MeToo Movement’?”

“Who are you?” She asked curtly.

Juri wrapped his arms around him. “Do I need to say more?” 

She scoffed and added before leaving, “It’s your loss.” 

Hokuto scoffed at her astonishing self-confidence as he looked inquiringly at his boss. “Uhm, what are you doing here, Tana-Juri?”

Juri removed his arms around him and straightened his suit. “I heard from Shintaro that you will star in your first-ever movie.”

Hokuto quickly corrected him, “I’m literally just an extra.” 

One of his favorite dramas, "Kinou Nani Tabeta", will be having a movie version and he was called in to do a cameo. One of the drama's main characters, Yabuki Kenji, would be joining a hairstyle contest, and Hokuto would play one of the contestants.

“An extra is still a star,” Juri insisted. “And what's a better way to show how much you appreciated your co-stars by treating everyone.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Instead of answering, Juri took his hand and steered him outside to the hall where the faux contest would happen. Almost everyone whom Hokuto would pass by was thanking him until he finally saw a food catering at the corner with a huge banner with his face on it. 

“The way to anyone’s heart is through their stomach,” Juri said with a grin. 

Hokuto was too gobsmacked to say anything. He still wasn't able to say anything when the movie’s director went to shake his hand and thanked him for the free meal. 

“Have you fallen for me now?” Juri asked, handing him a drink. 

“This…this is too much,” he finally said, feeling a bit breathless as though he ran a mile until he realized that it was his heart; his heart never stopped beating wildly. 

“Nothing is too much when it comes to you.”

“But-”

“The fish is quite dry.”

Hokuto’s eyes widened when he heard another familiar voice, and his heart started racing more as Taiga took the drink from his hand and returned it to Juri. 

“Get him something warm, will you?” Taiga told Juri and placed a jacket around his shoulders. Taiga’s familiar cologne wafted to his nostrils as warmth slowly enveloped him.

“What are you doing here?? Juri asked in a brusque manner. 

“I’m literally just an extra,” Taiga said, smiling wryly, and not hiding the fact that he could be listening to his conversation with Juri earlier. As much as Hokuto wanted to ask more, he didn’t want to appear interested either, as his last confrontation with Taiga replayed in his head. He should have enough pride in himself.

“I’ll be playing one of the judges,” he added as though he read his mind. 

“Judges? What do you know about judging a hairstyle?”

Taiga smiled with malice. “I have years of experience being your guinea pig.”

Hokuto could feel his ears heat up upon recalling how Taiga would keep his hair long just so he could practice different hairstyles on him. It was one of Taiga’s little acts of kindness that made him fall hard for him. 

“An extra? Then, act like one,” Juri muttered, completely forgetting Hokuto's role as he removed Taiga’s jacket on his shoulders, and replaced it with his own coat. 

“He doesn’t need it, he got mine,” Juri added and steered him toward the catering. Hokuto was still feeling overwhelmed by what was happening, he didn’t have the stomach to take in anything so he excused himself and ran to the nearest empty room he could find. 

“What do they think they’re doing?” He murmured, afraid to even go back to the hall, and faced Taiga and Juri when the door opened and he let out a steep inhale. 

“Oh! U-uhm, I-I d-didn’t know-” 

“Relax,” Yoshinaga Fumi said. The Yoshingaga Fumi-sama, aka the mangaka of the movie he would be in. “Matsumura Hokuto, correct?”

Hokuto stood up straight as though his attention was called to the military. “Yes! And I’m a huge fan of yours,” he announced, bowing deeply.

“Oh! Thank you,” she said graciously. “Thank you for the catering as well, I picked the right time to visit the set.”

“Ah…well…” Hokuto didn’t know whether he should say, “You’re welcome” when it was not really from him.

“You got two men outside having a stare-off,” Yoshinaga added, which made Hokuto wince. Those jerks could not only ruin his movie debut, but they could also ruin his career as a hairstylist. 

“If you don't mind me asking, who do you like more?” Yoshinaga asked, grinning.

“No one!” He replied quickly, his voice squeaking.

Yoshinaga simply giggled. “That’s right. Don’t choose anyone yet. Let them fight over you.”

Hokuto was too astounded to say anything. 

“Men can be unnecessarily competitive,” she continued, “and it all starts when they are just sperms racing to fertilize an egg. It would just get worse as they grew up, always trying to prove who is better, they would even disregard other people’s opinions because they only have eyes on the prize.”

“Uhm, I don’t really consider myself a prize,” he said quietly.  

“Of course, you’re not,” she agreed to Hokuto’s surprise. “Prizes are like those trophies displayed on the shelf.  You are a human being, who has emotions and opinions, you are not won, you are earned.”

Hokuto swallowed hard, her statement hit him hard, giving him a push of self-confidence he needed badly. 

"One of them is my ex, and I have no idea why he is here. The other asked me on a date, and I refused, but he was intent on pursuing me," he shared, which was so uncharacteristic of him to share something so personal to someone he just met, even if that someone is a mangaka he admires.

"Frankly, I'm better off without any of them, I've been single for years and it's not as bad as  other people made it out to be."

"Do I hear a but ?" Yoshinaga asked.

"But when you asked me who I like more, I actually had a face in my head. It annoys me more than it pleases me. Love is like a drug, right? You could be clean for years, but when it comes knocking again, it's easy to get swayed."

"Do you write as well?"

"Huh?" He gasped. Did he accidentally reveal himself?

"You have a way with your words."

"Ah…well, I heard that a lot."

Yoshinaga simply nodded and someone came in to call on her. She excused herself, but not before telling him, "Whoever you have on your mind, make sure you go on hard on him. Hard to the point of crushing him."

"Uhm, isn't that-"

"Too much? Definitely not. Make him regret ever leaving you."

Hokuto's eyes widened. "How…?"

Yoshinaga simply smiled and left him alone in the room. It took him a while to go out, and he headed back to the hall where Taiga and Juri were instantly wary of seeing his face.

Before any of them could speak first, he said, "Leave, you are making me uncomfortable."

***

Taiga finished two bottles of Yakult and he is still pissed. How could Hokuto kick him out after Jesse went all through the hoops just to get him cast as an extra? 

“Why was I also kicked out?” Juri said, finishing his can of beer. “I paid for the catering.”

“Why are you even here?” Taiga asked with disgust.

“I ask the same of you.” 

“What are you planning?” 

Juri sniggered. “Do I look so much of a villain to you? The last time I checked, you are the ex.” 

“And that makes me the villain?” He clarified, with an eyebrow raised.

“Of course. I should be the one asking, ‘What are you planning?’ I don’t know how you learned that I asked him out, but I guess you were threatened somehow. Is that why you’re here? Trying to stake your claim with someone you discarded.”

Taiga clenched his hand into a fist. Juri spoke the truth, it stung, and he could only grit his teeth as Juri’s words sliced him like a knife. 

“Remember that it was you who suggested I broke up with Hokuto with a LINE message?”

Juri remained unaffected. “What’s this? Are you pinning your foolishness on me?”

Taiga shook his head. “No. Leaving him in such an immature and heartless way was one of my many faults.” 

“Glad that you know.” 

“And it’ll be so selfish of me if I want him back just because I felt threatened and insecure that you confessed to him.”

“Nice that you are self-aware.” 

Taiga swallowed hard. “I thought about this hard, I hated to admit that I don’t deserve Hokuto, and I loathe to think that I’m not even good enough for him. Frankly, he deserves someone more than me.” 

Juri cleared his throat. “I’ll take care of him.”

Taiga scoffed. “But when I saw you holding his hand earlier and you even had the gall to put your arms around him, a geyser just erupted within me. I don’t want to hand him over to you, or to anyone else.”

Juri appeared surprised, then he smiled with sarcasm. “What’s this, Kyomo, do you plan to compete with me?” 

Taiga stood up and looked down at Juri. “Yes, I am,” he announced. “I’m going to give him all the love I failed to give the first time.” 

“Do you think you can win with that love of yours?” 

“No. I’m not confident at all. But whatever the outcome of this might be, I will have no regrets.” 

Hokuto peered through the tiny space of his slightly closed blinds, and sure enough, Taiga was standing on the opposite street, and unlike the other days, his driver seemed not to be with him. He said “other days”, because, for the other days, it would be Juri outside. 

“Did he think he could drive?” He murmured and shook his head. Taiga could wait forever, but he wouldn’t be going out today. He doesn’t accept bookings every Thursday, because he allocated Thursdays for writing since Friday to Sunday is the busiest time at his salon. 

He sighed and drank his tea, never did he expect that there would come a day where he would be scared to go out, and he blamed Juri and Taiga for this. The pair of them barged back in the hall right after the filming of his cameo and announced, for everyone else to hear, that they would compete to win his heart. It was an announcement he never expected, but more than that, he never expected it from Taiga. He had expected him to be back in New York by now, so why is he still in Japan? 

He admits that part of him was happy, his heart probably doing somersaults from the thrill, but he chose to follow Yoshinaga-sama’s advice. Crush him hard . So far, he managed to brush them off. The free car rides to and from his work were tempting but he gritted his teeth and rode a taxi or took the train. His colleagues were enjoying the free bento for lunch and coffee for snacks that they’d been receiving, but Hokuto still ignored all their calls and messages. To an outsider, he might seem rude, but as Yoshinaga-sama told him, he is not some trophy to be won. Besides, he never recalled agreeing that they could compete for him.    

He doubled down when a sharp cramp crossed his abdomen. He’d been having loose bowel movements since last night, but he thinks he can still manage it at home. He looked for any antidiarrheal agents, but tough luck, he had one but it had long expired. His phone buzzed, he opened it, and read a message from Taiga, “ Are you not going to be late? It will be 9 soon .” 

“I don’t have work today, but I’m not going to tell you that,” he muttered when another wave of pain crossed his stomach, which forced him back to his bathroom. 

***

Taiga took a deep breath to calm his racing heart; he has been nervous since he drove over to Hokuto’s place. First, because he drove, and driving was never his forte, leading to the second reason he’s nervous, what if Hokuto gets in his car and asks him to drive him to his work? He could only wish that just like in the previous days, Hokuto would ignore the car and choose to take the train. At least, he could follow Hokuto comfortably in trains even though he could pass off as a stalker. 

“Why did I even bother bringing a car?” He murmured as he glanced at his watch and back at Hokuto’s place. There had been no signs of movement and Hokuto should be on his way to his salon. He opened his phone, Hokuto was likely to ignore his message, but he still chose to send it. He waited and waited, snow even started falling, and he hasn’t heard anything back from Hokuto.

“Should I knock? Is that allowed?” He and Juri might be competing for Hokuto and in the spirit of fairness, they also entered an agreement. First, they would respect Hokuto’s wishes, which frankly, should void this entire competition because Hokuto never agreed that they compete for him. Second, in lieu of the first rule, they would respect Hokuto’s personal space and that included, not touching him, or trying to get into his apartment and workplace – unless they were invited. 

“But I’m not really trying to get into his apartment, I just want to check-” He couldn’t finish what he was about to say as Hokuto bangs his door open, he was bent on his waist as he staggered to his car. 

Taiga was too dumbstruck to react until Hokuto knocked on his window, he got in and stupidly asked, “Why are you in my car?”

“Why do you even mean by that? Look, I also don’t like this but will you drive me to the nearest hospital? Quickly.” Hokuto groaned and something noxious filled his car, he felt suffocated that he had to open his window. 

“What did you eat?” He asked, pinching his nose. 

“Can you just drive?” Hokuto asked, his voice a mix of ire, begging, and suffering.

“Okay, relax, I’ll get you to the hospital,” he said, starting his car and mumbling, “Right foot for gas and brake, left foot for clutch.”

Hokuto groaned again. “Please tell me you know how to drive.” 

“Of course, Hokuto,” he assured him, hoping that Hokuto couldn’t see that his hands were trembling. He chose the wrong time to send his secretary for an errand. “I have a gold license, don’t you know?”

Hokuto scoffed, his hands still clutching his stomach. “You have a gold license because you rarely drive for you to even get a traffic violation. Can you really get me to the hospital?” 

“Trust me on this,” he said with confidence as he navigated the streets with ease. 

“Why are we still in my neighborhood?” Hokuto asked in alarm and looked at his speedometer. “My 90-year-old grandpa can drive faster than this.”

“It’s snowing,” he argued, pressing on the pedal, and thinking maybe he could still manage to add another 10 kph on top of his 20 kph. 

“I want you to reach the hospital as safely as possible,” he added as another jet of stench filled his car.

“Oh fuck - I’m going to die at this moment. Shit, this hurts!”

“We’re almost there, almost there,” Taiga repeated as a wave of nausea hit him. He blamed the coffee he drank on an empty stomach for that nauseating feeling and not the malodorous air circulating his car. Loving someone means loving everything about that person, even the smell of their shit. 

“Are we there yet?” Hokuto asked in a weak voice, he was curled like a fetus on his seat and drenched in sweat. Taiga felt bad for being a shitty driver, but a fire kindled within him when he saw those familiar words if he could just step on the pedal and make haste. 

“We’re here!” He announced as he stopped on the driveway, he got out of his car to help Hokuto, but not before he was forced to kneel on the ground, and the wave of nausea he earlier felt turned to vomit. 

***

“How far are you?” 

“Huh?” Hokuto mumbled. He is still in a daze from Taiga’s awful driving and the amount of fecal matter he has to pass upon arriving at the hospital. 

“The first trimester is really the hardest, I’ve been vomiting every morning even though I haven’t eaten anything.”

Hokuto cleared his throat. “I’m a guy,” he said and pointed to his Adam's apple. 

“Oh, then is he-she…?” She trailed while looking over Hokuto’s shoulder. 

“He’s also a man,” he muttered, glancing over at Taiga. He fainted after vomiting and is still fast asleep. 

“I see. Sorry, I thought that since this is a Maternity Hospital, they’ll only be accepting pregnant women,” she said with a heavy emphasis on “pregnant women”.

Hokuto sighed. “Believe me, I also don’t want to be here,” he said through clenched teeth and turned back to the reason they were at a Maternity Hospital. Thankfully, the hospital was gracious enough to accept them as an emergency case even though there was a general hospital at the next intersection. If Hokuto could hazard a guess, Taiga was too cowardly to do a U-turn so he chose the most convenient one. 

He stared at Taiga, he looked more of a patient than him with his pale skin, and he was sleeping with his mouth wide open as though he hasn’t slept for days. 

“Matsumura-san?”

Hokuto slowly got up when the doctor and a nurse approached him. 

“Based on your stool exam, you don’t have any infection, so I suggest that you just let it out. You also don’t have signs of dehydration, so I’ll have your IV stop, and in the meantime, stick to the BRAT diet and rehydrate properly with each bowel movement. You can now be discharged.”

Hokuto nodded and said. “Thank you, uhm, how about him?”

“Kyomoto-san?” The doctor said, flipping some pages from the chart that the nurse passed to him. “He can be discharged, but he has to follow up with a hematologist, he is anemic, and he might need iron supplements. Other than that, he’s fine.” 

Hokuto thanked the doctor while the nurse removed his IV. His eyes returned to his ex. He knew Taiga has always been a late sleeper, but how bad has it gotten that he would be anemic? He guessed he should at least wait for him to wake up, after all, he drove him to the hospital. But if he really thought about it, it was his and Juri’s selfish desire to wait for him outside of his apartment every day. Realistically speaking, he doesn’t owe Taiga anything. 

The nurse finished removing his IV, and he got up and left.

***

Taiga could hear a baby crying, not one, but probably two. He slowly opened his eyes and the pungent smell of blood wafted to him. He searched for the smell when the curtain opposite his bed parted, the doctor shouting orders to transfer the babies to NICU, while a bloodied woman lay on the bed. 

“Where….Hokuto?” He immediately sat up and his surroundings made him dizzy so he laid down again. His eyes traveled to the empty bed beside him, how did he end up being a patient as well? Was Hokuto’s fart so deadly that he fainted? He was so busy in his thoughts that he didn’t notice a nurse approaching him. 

“Kyomoto-san? Are you feeling better?”

“Just a bit dizzy,” he murmured. “By the way, where is Hokuto, Matsumura Hokuto? I arrived with him and he was having diarrhea.”

“Matsumura? Oh, he already left. By the way, before you stand, you should warm up…”

The nurse’s voice droned on, while her words, “he already left”, played repeatedly in his head. Of course, Hokuto had left. Did he really think he would stay back for him? Why should Hokuto feel bad for leaving him when he didn’t even think about his feelings when he left before? 

“Do you have any more questions, Kyomoto-san?” 

“Huh? Ah, no, give me a minute or so.”

The nurse smiled and added, “I’ll process your discharge papers then.”

“Thank you,” he said, still managing to smile through the pain. He told himself he should be glad. If Hokuto had been discharged, that meant that his diarrhea wasn't that serious. 

He sighed and followed the nurse’s instructions, closing and opening his hands and slightly shaking his feet, before he slowly got up to a sitting position. She was right, he didn’t feel dizzy anymore. He let out another sigh and slowly got up, he hoped his secretary was done with his errand, so he could fetch him. He was too busy making a call when his stomach grumbled upon smelling a delectable aroma. He glanced back and he had to stop himself from crying seeing Hokuto.

“I thought you left,” he said slowly and noticed that Hokuto was carrying a plastic bag.

“Got you some pork liver soup, the doctor said you might be anemic,” he said, placing the plastic on the side table. “You should eat that before we leave.”

Taiga swallowed hard. Hokuto said “We”, right? 

“Thank you,” he said, checking out the contents of the plastic bag. 

“Haven’t you been sleeping properly?” 

“Hmmm, not really. At first, I thought it was just jetlag, but days later I really struggled to sleep. The earliest I could sleep is around 3 in the morning.”

“I thought you were taking those antihistamines.”

“They’re non-drowsy, won’t help me at all.”

“Non-drowsy, but you said you used them for sleep,” Hokuto clarified and Taiga muttered, “shit!”, under his breath. 

“Anyway, we should leave,” he said, quickly changing the topic. “This is a maternity hospital after all.”

“Give me your keys, I’ll drive.”

“It’s fine. I’ll drop you off.”

“No,” Hokuto said sharply. “I’m driving you to your parents, you’ll sleep there tonight. Maybe a more familiar environment could induce you to sleep.”

“But…but how will you go home?” He fought hard not to smile at the thought that Hokuto might also sleep at his parent’s place. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time. 

“I’ll ask Juri to fetch me.”

“What?!” Taiga exclaimed, uncaring of the heads that turned toward their direction. “You know what, I feel dizzy again, please tell the doctor to place me in a 24-hour observation or something.”

“I’m just kidding, I will take a taxi, or you can ask your driver to send me home.”

“That will do, you can even ask my dad to drive you home.”  

Hokuto scoffed. “As if. Let's go.”

“Hokuto,” Taiga called out as soon as Hokuto turned his back. 

“What?” He asked, glancing back at him. 

“Thank you. Thank you for coming back.”

Hokuto smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. “This is as far as I will go back.”

Taiga watched Hokuto’s back as the distance between them lengthened. Still smiling, he ran closer to Hokuto, but he stayed walking behind him. He used to be content having this distance between them, their kiyorikan ; their spaces might overlap, but they wouldn’t be overbearingly close.

“But not anymore,” he murmured, pulling Hokuto for a back hug, deeply inhaling his scent as he buried his face in his thick scarf.

"Uhm, T-taiga…"

He just violated the second rule from his agreement with Juri, but all is fair in love and war, right?