slumber.

Shintaro heard the familiar noise of the doorbell.

It was a calm, rhythmic song that wanted itself to be welcoming and amusing but there was nothing amusing or welcoming in the sound – in fact, to Shintaro, it was just a synonym for anxiety and worries. A reminder that someone was calling for him right now, a sound which, unfortunately, didn't warn him who was behind the door.

It was certainly not his manager, because his manager was a polite human being who would call to tell him he was coming over beforehand instead of dropping unannounced to surprise him at his worst.

Somehow, Shintaro knew in his gut who it was. 

Since Shintaro didn’t answer at first because he didn't like to be ordered around, the bell ring echoed in the lonely apartment once again, almost paralyzing Shintaro from walking to the intercom to make it stop, to mute the call. He wished he had the strength to ignore it, but maybe the ringing was just too enticing despite it not being a happy visit.

But it was definitely a visit, an invasion even. One he couldn’t ignore, no matter what.

Shintaro lazily walked towards the door.

He opened it.

There, at the threshold, stood dazed and blurry brown eyes staring into nothingness, ruffled faded ash-colored hair, and bony angles hidden behind large clean monotone clothes. The only thing that shone under the bright lights of his apartment complex’s hallways were Juri’s golden jewelry. It always made him look expensive, it made him shine . But Shintaro felt like sometimes, the gold shone in a melancholic way.

Especially when he came at his place after 10 pm. He always came after 10 pm because he was unable to press the ring bell at a reasonable hour. 

Juri, himself, was unreasonable. And extremely dependent.

Shintaro watched Juri’s anxious face, his eyebrows unlacing as he gave him a slight and wistful smile. One he always gave when he’d show up at Shintaro’s door.

“I can’t sleep,” Juri whispered and it wasn’t the first time Shintaro heard that.

Before, it used to be once every six months but the older they got, the more Juri appeared at his door, mainly wasted from alcohol and fatigue accumulated from work. But Juri wouldn’t have the courage to be here without the bold strength of alcohol pumping through his veins.

“If you drank less, you’d sleep better.”

“I sleep better when I’m drunk,” Juri answered as he stepped inside, closing the distance between them. “... when I’m with you.” He added.

As soon as Shintaro gave a small space between him and the entrance to let Juri in, Juri crossed the threshold. As usual, he removed his shoes and then his clothes that he shed in the hallway like a snake shedding skin, letting Shintaro pick up the pieces of himself he scattered behind him. Then, he’d approach Shintaro’s bed like a cautious cat. He was sniffing around as if he was trying to catch someone else’s scent before opening the bed. He lifted the dark blue cover as if he was checking any other presence that may be hiding beneath, before finally slipping between those same sheets and covers. 

The silk against his naked skin made Juri release a sigh of pleasure. The comfortableness of the place made Juri truly at peace but it also made Shintaro terribly attentive to the human in his bed.

Shintaro had once wanted to let him sleep there alone and sleep somewhere else but Juri kept following him, no matter where Shintaro slept.

He wanted to be physically as close as possible to him, a leg between his, lips against his skin.

If it could, Shintaro's chest would burst open at the warmth.

He kissed the crown of Juri’s hair.

It was the warmest feeling he had ever had with anyone.

Juri's warmth was unmatchable.

So he let him inside his home, inside his bed, and against his body.

“There’s nowhere else I would want to sleep.”

And Juri was always peaceful enough to fall into the limbs of slumber.

Shintaro held him tight, crushing his bones and it's everything Juri wanted. He preferred Juri to be here in his arms than stuffing himself with pills to force him to sleep.

He was always afraid of the staring gazes anywhere else, trying to avoid Juri and his over clinginess, but in his own home, there was no witness, no one to watch him kiss the sharp bone of Juri's shoulder.