A Dance with Fate

[Tweet]

 

@/Hokutosrunner33

Mine’s not really a dream, but I’m still glad it’s no longer real.

 

QRT 

 

@/MHokutoOfficial

Have you ever had a bad dream and you wake-up grateful it was all a dream?

 

[/tweet]

***

Being typecast is probably career suicide to every actor serious about their craft, and in Hokuto’s case, he is not just inundated with drama roles, he also has to perish in every one of them. 

His last movie, “Moving” was a commercial and critical success. He portrayed a single father stricken with ALS, who only had a few months to find a new family for his daughter. He loved the movie, he loved his character, and he loved how it moved a lot of people. His career really took off. He got nominated for the Japan Academy Prize, and he got brand endorsements left and right, but he didn’t like the movie offers that followed. So instead of striking while the iron is hot, he decided to take a break from movies. He hoped to completely detach himself from his most famous role yet. He went overseas and took a short course about filmmaking, but as his agency announced his comeback, the offers remained the same. 

“It has been a year. Why do people still want to see me die?” Hokuto complained during the meeting with his manager and agent. His agency has received a dozen scripts from different production companies since they hinted at his return. 

“You’re a very good dier – if that’s a word,” quipped Kochi, his long-time agent since he joined the agency, Type AB.

“I don’t mind doing any genre as long as I live,” he added, while he checked another script titled, “Signal”.

“I scanned that one. It’s a police drama with elements of time-altering,” said Jesse, his manager. 

He opened the script with interest. “I’ve always wanted to be in a deka drama.”

“It’s open-ending, but it's pretty much given you died,” added Jesse and the script immediately went to the reject pile.

“I want it clear that I'm alive. How about this one…'The One That Got Away’?” 

“That’s a fantasy,” said Kochi disapprovingly. “I’m not really a fan.”

“Really? I thought it was a romcom from the title, but do I get to live though?” He asked as he riffled the pages. 

“You will,” said Jesse with a grin, “But you will die three times first, but because it’s a fantasy, you still get to live.” 

His face fell another script landing on the reject pile. “Sounds complicated.” 

“You want romcom? How about this one? You’ll be playing a widowed father and you live next to a woman who doesn’t do housework,” Kochi suggested. “Do you want to try it?” 

He took the script from Kochi and read the logline. “I’ll give it a read, I like the change.” His phone’s alarm rang, and he panicked seeing he had entered the wrong time. He had a date at 6: 30 in the evening, but he set the alarm exactly at 6: 30.

“Shit! I need to go. I’m late.” He grabbed a bunch of scripts by his right side before he rushed to his waiting car. 

He is late, and his girlfriend, Alice, will be livid. This wasn’t the first time he got late on their date because of work, and even during his short hiatus from work, he was still late most of the time. It was never his character to be late, he always valued his and others’ time. But he didn’t know why when it came to dating, time was never on his side. Something would always come up at the last minute. 

“You don’t have to wait for me, but will you drop these to my place on your way home?” He asked his driver, giving him the scripts he took earlier. 

The French restaurant where Alice and he agreed to meet was full when he arrived, and he could only sigh in relief at seeing Alice was still there. It also seemed that she started eating ahead of him, a soup entrée was already on the table, and she was busy stirring her spoon until she saw him. 

“I’m so-”

“Drop it,” said Alice. She lost interest in the soup as she took a gulp of red wine. “It’s not like this is the first time. It got to the point I never expected you to arrive on time anyway.”

He pursed his lips and sat across from her. “I was reading some scripts-” 

“Script, huh? I bet you’re looking for one where you remain alive?” Alice cuts in.

He was embarrassed to admit it. “Uhm, yeah.”

“You said you had this aversion to accepting roles where you would end up dying because you’ve dreamt numerous times that you died and it scares you.”

Hokuto nodded. He never really liked “dying characters” and he only accepted “Moving” because he wasn’t getting any offers for a lead role. He seemed to be stuck in the cycle of the second male lead, the nice guy who never gets the girl, and a bunch of supporting characters. “Moving” was a game changer. 

“But I’m sure you don’t regret taking that risk, right?”

He nodded again. Dying in the movie launched him to stardom. 

“I guess you’d rather take the risk with work than me.”

The smile on his face froze. He guessed what they said about women was true; they were scarier when they were no longer angry. And what Alice said next cemented that.

“Let’s free ourselves, Hokuto.”

“What do you mean?” He asked quietly. He knew full well what it meant. 

“Let’s break up. Let’s end this.” 

He felt like his surroundings were paused, saved for his beating heart.

“This isn’t just about you being always late,” said Alice as though he read his mind, “But if you couldn’t even commit even a minute for me, I doubt you could commit a lifetime with me.” 

Alice dabbed a napkin on her lips and left him without so much of a glance. He watched his reflection on Alice’s wine glass and felt awful. He didn’t deserve Alice, because he felt relieved it was over than sad. 

“But if you couldn’t even commit at least one minute for me, I doubt you could commit a lifetime with me.”

Time was never his problem, it was commitment. He might sound like he’s buttering his shortcomings, but he seems repulsed over two things. First is dying, and second is committing to a relationship. 

He had no idea where everything stemmed from. Except for that event during high school, his life had been pretty laid back. He had no major heartbreaks. No near-death experiences. His mom passed away at childbirth, but his dad is alive and well. No drama with his friends. And his career has always been thriving. So where did his fear even begin?

He was so lost in thought; he didn’t realize he had arrived home. The pile of scripts was waiting by his kitchen counter along with a few mail, junk adverts, and a purple padded envelope. Frowning, he opened the envelope and found a purple iPhone. 

“Huh? Whose phone is this?” He checked the envelope for any address, but there was none. He tried to turn on the phone, but it remained dead, so he went to his charging ports until the green drip was on the screen. 

He pressed the power on button, but he didn’t wait for it to fully turn on before he went to take a bath. He picked a script to read for bed until he fell asleep, and the purple iPhone was completely forgotten.

If he remembered and checked the phone, he might have seen the lock screen change from an old photo of his to a generic wallpaper with the time set at 00:00 Jan 01, 2024. 

***

Riku, one of the senior writers of Panache Publishing where Taiga worked as a photographer, asked, "If some people are fated to meet, are there also people who are fated never to meet?" He, along with the other heads plus one team member of each division, were having their twice-monthly story conference. Everyone is expected to come up with themes and ideas for either “Jouhin” or “Virginia”, their monthly fashion magazine and quarterly literary magazine, respectively.

Taiga couldn't understand why he had to drop ideas as well, especially when they consistently rejected all of his ideas for photoshoots due to "lack of vision," whatever that meant. 

“Interesting,” said Miranda, their overall editor-in-chief, whose name wasn’t really Miranda, but she wanted to pretend that her workplace was “The Devil Wears Prada” set. 

“What do you think of that, Taiga?” asked Miranda, and Taiga didn’t miss how Juri, their graphic artist, smirked at his predicament. 

“Is that an idea for a photoshoot theme?” He asked, just to refresh everyone’s memory that he is a photographer. 

“No,” said Miranda with a cluck of her tongue, “But what do you think about it as a man? Fate is usually a drivel believed by most women, so I want a differing opinion.”

Taiga glanced at Riku, she looked uncomfortable, and Taiga had a hard time gauging whether Miranda was just setting up the table to shoot Riku’s idea down, or would his opinion be used for consideration.

He sighed and flicked his pen, choosing his words carefully. “I agree with Riku. I also think that some people are fated to meet, and some people are not. But I don’t like the romantic or even divine aspect they associate it with. After all, there is such a thing as ill fate. Strangers who were also fated to meet, but only to be each other's ruin. Or worse, demise. Wouldn’t it be nice if they never met at all?”

His answer was met with silence, everyone looked at him with awe as though it was the first time he ever talked sense in his 6 years of working for Panache. 

“Interesting,” said Miranda with one of her gloaty smiles, “I’m sure you could come up with a meaningful essay on that for our ‘After Dinner Conversations’ column in Virginia.” 

Taiga was stumped. He didn’t really like writing. 

Miranda declared the meeting adjourned before he could protest and left the room with two of her overworked assistants. 

“She’s a bitch,” Taiga complained as he and Juri walked to their pantry. “Remember when she made me fly to LA to shoot Ohtani Shohei? Then, I learned that we didn't even have an appointment, and I had to essentially act as a paparazzo. That’s the same level as ordering me to fucking write an essay.”

“You should have just played dumb,” said Juri as he put a Nespresso pod to the machine, “Instead of being a smart alec.”

Taiga groaned. “I thought she might reject Riku’s idea if I disagree or something. I didn’t think it would be my downfall.” 

The tantalizing smell of freshly pressed coffee wafted toward him and it was such a shame he didn’t drink coffee. Juri then opened the fridge and took out oolong tea. Printed on the bottle is the face of a famous frontman from the band Eclipse. 

“It’s not like you can’t write,” said Juri as he opened the tea for him. 

“I can, but I won’t,” he argued and commented on the face of his drink. “He looks like he prefers energy drinks over tea.”

“What’s your point?”

“Nothing. Just thinking that fate works in mysterious ways.” He took a gulp of the oolong tea.

“What’s this? Are you now mentally preparing for your essay?” 

He ignored Juri’s teasing and finished his drink. It was good, but he was too irritated to appreciate it. His phone buzzed, and he got more irritated. 

“Is this a scam?” He asked, showing Juri the message. 

Juri reads, “Congratulations! Your script is now being considered being a full-length movie. We would like to invite you for a contract signing at our head office, 6-17-6 Roppongi, Minato-ku, Tokyo. For more details, please check your email. A copy of the contract has also been attached. Again, congratulations! We look forward to working with you.”

“What did you join?” asked Juri.

“I didn’t join anything,” said Taiga, but deep inside, he wasn’t that confident with his memory. 

“The address looks familiar. Let me search…” Juri took out his phone and after a few taps, he gasped, “...The address belongs to TAHO Studios.”

Taiga also gasped. “The TAHO Studios?” TAHO is one of the top film studios in Japan. 

“You sneaky bastard…they had a scriptwriting contest, and you won?”

Taiga was so confused. “I swear, I never joined anything. Do I look like I have scripts lying around?” As soon as he said that, cold sweat trickled down his back. He had a script saved on his laptop at home. He wrote it out of boredom and frustration. It was a story he didn’t want to see the light of day. It was strictly for his eyes only. It was his very own “ill fate”.

Amidst Juri’s scowls, Taiga excused himself to go back to his area and quickly checked his company and personal email. Both were clear. There were no emails from TAHO Studios, or any studios for that matter. He also checked his sent items up to six months back and he didn’t send anything to any studios. 

He sighed in relief. The message was probably sent in error, so he composed a reply to clear the air. “Hello. I think this message was sent by mistake. I didn’t join any contest, nor did I send any scripts.”  

The reply came fast, and he quickly read, “Hi, this is TAHO Studios. Is this not Morimoto-san? We received your script titled ‘The One That Got Away’....” 

We received your script titled ‘The One That Got Away’...

He dropped his phone before he could finish reading the message. Fear coursing through veins. “This must not happen,” he murmured. 

“Where are you going?” asked Juri when Taiga passed by the pantry. 

Taiga forced a smile, and Juri’s reaction told him he must have looked scary. “I’m going to kill my housemate.” 

[Twitter]

@Hokutosrunner33

I guess some things are permanent 😅 but tomatoes are good for you 🍅

QRT

@MHokutoOfficial

Waited 3 mos for a seat and this is what I get for an appetizer 🤢🍅 (pic of caprese salad)

[/Twitter]

***

“Let’s try 000000.” Hokuto entered 00000 and got another error. “And now it’s locked.”

“Just leave it to the police,” Jesse advised, while they waited for the staff to change the set for his ongoing photoshoot. "If someone intentionally left it in your mailbox, chances are it's from a stalker," Jesse explained. “They might be listening to our conversation right now.”

“I don’t think so,” he said dubiously. “It’s not connected to Wi-Fi. There’s no sim, so I don’t know how they could access this remotely.” 

“Just leave it to the police,” Jesse repeated. “We’re not techie enough to know. Remember when you turned on Space while you were in the bathroom and your 866,000 followers heard the trumpet from your behind –?”

“Let’s not bring up the past, okay?” 

Jesse resumed his attention on his iPad, remaining unconvinced that the purple phone was some kind of stalking device. However, if Jesse was right that a stalker left it, his next guess should be right. He waited for the timer to end and entered his birthdate as a passcode.

“061895.” He waited with bated breath and the phone was unlocked. 

He bit his lower lip to hide his surprise. His manager would only be more convinced that a stalker left the phone, especially once he saw its wallpaper. It was one of Hokuto’s earliest ads for Uniqlo. He wouldn’t forget the date. On his 25th birthday, they unveiled Hokuto's ad at Uniqlo's newest flagship store in Ginza.  

“But why would a stalker leave me their phone?”

He checked the settings for an Apple ID but it was blank. 

“Has this phone never been set up?”

He checked for contacts and messages, but all were empty. The gallery was displaying 666 photos, but all were corrupted, saved for his Uniqlo ad. He connected the phone to Wi-Fi and opened Safari, but there was no search history. None of the pre-installed apps were linked to any account. No passwords were saved. The phone is looking brand new as far as he is concerned. 

“And there is nothing weirder than an empty phone,” he mused. 

“Hokuto, smile!”

He flashed one supercilious smile along with his gyaru peace pose. 

“Aren’t you too old for that pose? I’ll upload this on your Twitter, I mean X.” 

He simply shrugged. He and Jesse both have access to his official X account. Jesse likes to upload photos, while the old-fashioned side of him wants to use X as how and why Twitter was created, and that’s posting his ramblings. 

“Matsumura-san, please get ready.” 

“Yes.” He was about to drop the iPhone into his bag when a notification arrived that startled him. It was a Twitter notification.

“Huh? It hasn’t been updated to X yet?” He opened the notification that led him to his account. It was the photo Jesse had just taken along with the caption, “Guess where?”

Sweat beaded his brow, his chest heaving in anticipation as he pressed the old birdhouse icon. The Twitter icon was the default white egg with a purple background. He clicked "Profile" and the app directed him to a private account. 

[Twitter profile]

Lets run away

@Hokutosrunner33

 

The stars are better admired from afar 🌌💫

 

hokutomatsumura.com   Joined June 2020

 

1 Following 0 Followers

He scrolled the tweets, and they were all QRTs of his past tweets. The most recent and last QRT was his Jan 01, 2024 post, where he greeted everyone with a “Happy New Year” and @Hokutosrunner33 quoted with “Answered prayer. Thank you for being alive. Please live long and I’ll always be cheering for you from afar.” 

Something bloomed in his chest, and before he realized what was happening, there were teardrops on the phone screen.

“Hokuto? What are you still doing here? A-are you crying?” asked Jesse. 

“Am I crying?” He repeated softly, running his fingers over his face and touching his salty tears. “What just happened?”

Jesse looked as concerned. “Are you okay?” When Jesse’s eyes travelled to the phone, Hokuto quickly locked it and placed it face down.

“I’m okay, must be the eyeshadow,” he said as he lightly dabbed a cotton pad around his eyes. “Let’s go,” he added with a smile.

He glanced at the phone before leaving his dressing room. He still couldn’t shake off the unease. The QRT looked generic enough. If he recalled the public QRTs from that New Year post of his, most of them were celebratory messages for being given another year to live. So why did he feel so sad seeing that particular QRT? 

“Matsumura-san, can you give me a longing, searching look?” Minato instructed. He is the apprentice photographer working with him for his Houjin photoshoot.

Hokuto nodded and stared at the fake fireplace on his right with a backdrop of snow-covered pine trees and starry nights. The cabin room set looked warm and cozy for the holiday season.

“Good. That’s it! That’s it! Now, let’s turn on the lights.”

The wreath on top of the fireplace glowed as mini Christmas Lights flickered. And while he looked ruefully at the dancing lights, he realized the room was missing someone to share the warmth with. 

“Amazing, as always. Moving became a hit because you looked so good with emotions. If there’s beauty in sorrow, you’ll be the face of it.”

He turned and smiled at Miranda, Panache’s domineering editor-in-chief, who didn’t give a shit even when he was in the middle of the photoshoot. Minato also looked peeved for the disruption, but couldn’t do anything about his boss.  

“Thank you for agreeing to this shoot, Hokuto-kun. When I heard about your comeback, I just had to have you added to our December issue.” 

Hokuto dipped his head as a greeting to Miranda. “Thank you for having me as well.” 

“By the way, have you met our apprentice photographer?”

Hokuto nodded. “Yes, I’ve met Minato-san before when I did the last shoot for your ‘Boy Next Door’ campaign,” he said, exchanging smiles with Minato. All BND models have to be below 28 years old and he graduated at the beginning of 2023. It was also after that time that he took a time off following Moving’s success. 

“I guess I have to apologise to your agent,” said Miranda, sighing, “Our head photographer is running late because of an urgent business when Kochi specifically requested that he spearhead this photo shoot.” 

“It’s okay, Miranda, I’m sure Kochi would understand, and Minato here is just as able.” He had no idea why Kochi wanted the magazine’s head photographer, but Hokuto didn’t think Kochi would ask for a reshoot when they were already super busy with meetings left and right. 

Minato beamed at this praise, and the shoot continued without another disruption. He returned to his dressing room as soon as the photoshoot was over. His mind is still on the mysterious Twitter account and he didn’t notice which way he was walking until he collided with someone. Both of them groaned as they reeled back from the impact. Despite Hokuto’s head vibrating like a tuning fork, a purple iPhone that fell on the floor caught his eye. 

He picked up the phone to see the screen cracked in the upper right corner, but more so, it was that iPhone. He turned to the man on the floor and was prepared to berate him for trying to steal his phone. But he couldn’t tell him off when he looked back with tears in his eyes. And Miranda’s words earlier echoed.

“If there’s beauty in sorrow, you’ll be the face of it.”

Hokuto hesitated, feeling like the bad one even though he didn’t do anything wrong.

“W-why are you crying? It’s not like I did anything to you.” 

Just like him earlier, the man probably didn’t realize he cried. The man averted his gaze, wiping his tears away, and lowering his black cap on his face. He was dressed in an all-black ensemble, which just highlighted his fair skin. He recoiled a bit when he tried to stand, which made Hokuto sigh and offered his hand. But the man ignored him and stood up on his own. 

“Why is my phone with you?” He asked instead.

The man still avoided his gaze, but his eyes were on the phone. “That’s yours?” He asked, his tone inflecting that he knew Hokuto wasn’t the original owner of the phone.

He wouldn’t admit it wasn’t his, and his rebellious side decided to unlock the phone and show the man the wallpaper. 

“Do you have more doubts that it’s mine?” 

“Ah…I guess I’m mistaken. Excuse me-” 

Hokuto slammed his arm on the wall, preventing the man from passing by him. “Not too fast, mister, did you just try to steal my phone?”

“No, I just made a mistake,” he replied glumly. 

“Really? And what were you doing in my dressing room? Did you also think it was your room?”

“I have some business.”

“What business -?”

“Hokuto!” He turned and saw Jesse running toward him. 

Hokuto scoffed and grabbed the man’s wrist. “This guy tried to steal my phone.” 

“That’s ridiculous!” The man argued, while he tried fiercely to free himself from his hold.

“Sorry about that, Kyomoto-san,” said Jesse and forcibly break Hokuto’s hold on this Kyomoto-san. The name rang a bell, but he couldn’t place where. 

“I’m sure it was an honest mistake - and besides,” Jesse leaned closer and added through gritted teeth, “That’s not really yours”.

“Why are you apologizing to him?” asked Hokuto.

Jesse sighed. “This is Kyomoto Taiga, Panache’s head photographer, and he dropped by your dressing room to give a box of sweets for Kochi as an apology, because he didn’t get to do your photoshoot. And you just accused him of stealing that phone.”

Now he knows where he heard Kyomoto Taiga’s name. People who thought they knew each other professionally always mentioned Kyomoto Taiga's name to him in passing. However, Hokuto never met him until today.  

“W-well, being the head doesn’t make him innocent-”

“Let’s just go to the police then,” Taiga cuts in. He was no longer meek and looked utterly pissed. And when Hokuto chose to challenge Taiga’s glare, he thought those eyes were familiar. 

“Let’s not go that far,” Jesse mediated and whispered to him, “Drop it, Hokuto. I don’t know why you’re obsessed over that phone, but I’m quite sure the police might want to take it because it's not yours.” 

Hokuto cleared his throat and gave up. “Okay. I think this was all just—a mistake.” He gaped at Jesse, who was equally floored at Taiga’s audacity to just leave while he was still talking. 

“You know what? Except for Minato-kun, I think every other staff member here is Miranda’s spawn,” muttered Hokuto and left a still dumbfounded Jesse.

***

Taiga rarely takes the bus, but at the moment when he felt like his entire day had gone wrong, the long ride on the bus gave him a much-needed reprieve. 

He tried calling Shintaro again. His phone had been turned off since yesterday. Shintaro left following their argument, and Shintaro hadn’t answered any of his calls. He and Shintaro had been long-time childhood friends, and he loved Shintaro like his own brother. It also hurt Taiga that something like this had to happen between them. He also knew Shintaro needed the money, but he couldn't permit the script to be turned into a movie, or all his hard work would be in vain.

The bus reached its last stop. He got down to transfer to another bus when it started drizzling. He just crossed the road when the drizzle turned to a rain of cats and dogs. The tiny shed soon became full of people like him who forgot their umbrellas, and even those with umbrellas didn’t want to get soaked. 

He sighed and continued ruminating about his day when a nanny van stopped at him. The windows rolled down, and Kochi’s sunshine smile greeted him.

“Get in, Taiga!”

He didn’t think twice and took the front seat. 

"I didn't think I would see you..." he said hesitantly upon seeing who sat behind him through the rearview mirror. How could he have forgotten? “...here,” he finished with distaste in his mouth.

“Me, too!” Said Kochi, oblivious to the rising tension inside the van. “Why are you in this area? Didn’t you live somewhere near the Arakawa River?” 

“Yes, but I was…”

“Don’t tell me you still fall asleep on the bus?” asked Kochi, chuckling. “Seriously, Taiga, even until now?”

“Errr, you can put it that way,” he replied, scratching his head when the unrelated party spoke.

“You should be careful, falling asleep on the bus can be dangerous.”

“Ahhh,” Taiga mumbled. He couldn’t care less about the unsolicited advice from the man who accused him of stealing a phone.

“Tch, how is that dangerous? Normal people do that all the time,” said Kochi when his eyes grew wide with realization. “Oh, yeah…Jess told me about what happened between you two earlier.”

“It’s no big deal,” they said in unison, earning them an amused smile from Kochi.

“Taiga and I are friends way back in college,” said Kochi, “and now we’re both in the media.”

Taiga smiled. “Yup.”

“Hokuto has been under our agency since he won Mr. Muse at 21, and he has been under me since I started working at the agency,” he continued.

“Nice,” he said simply.

“So I’ve known both of you for a long time, and when you say ‘it’s no big deal’, I’m sure it's a big deal.”

“Kochi!” they said at the same time. Taiga clucked his tongue and Kochi just chuckled.

“Why don’t we have dinner together? Any suggestions?”

Taiga just sighed. The rain continued to lash hard, and his day was really far from over.

***

Hokuto might have a praise kink, but didn’t think fame had gone over his head. He doesn’t care if some people don’t know him. He doesn’t care if he’s treated like a nobody, but for some reason, it’s quite unnerving being treated like he’s invincible. 

“Ah, I’ve heard about that place! I heard they served those rare blue lobsters,” Hokuto remarked when Taiga mentioned a famous seafood restaurant. Taiga ignored him and ate his yakitori as though Hokuto was speaking to someone else from another table. 

Kochi said excitedly, "We should celebrate there once you sign a deal for your next movie." He didn’t seem to notice Taiga’s colder than Antarctica's treatment of him. Hokuto knew it was wrong of him to accuse Taiga of trying to steal a phone that wasn’t his, but was it really that bad to the point of him being irredeemable? 

“If we find the right script, that is,” he said, gulping his beer. 

“Taiga, here,” said Kochi, wrapping an arm around his friend and sounding drunker by the second, “is a terrific writer!”

“I’m not,” said Taiga, removing Kochi’s arm around him. 

“Even our professor thought he had won the Naoki Prize by now, but he chose to dabble in photography instead.”

Taiga sighed. “It’s not dabbling. I’m a professional and it’s my bread and butter,” he remarked and Hokuto could tell that it wasn’t the first time Taiga had to explain for choosing photography over writing. 

But Kochi wasn’t having any of it. “Sky’s the limit. Why don’t you write something for Hokuto? I’ll accept anything...”

Hokuto cocked an eyebrow. He didn’t think they had unlimited funds, and he got curious about how good of a writer Taiga was if Kochi was willing to spend that much. 

“...but make sure Hokuto lives, though. You can even write yaoi , but make sure he lives. He’s allergic to dying and - who’s calling me?” His face shifted from annoyed to apprehensive seeing the caller. 

“It’s HH,” he said in a whisper, referring to the agency’s ‘head honcho’. “I’ll take this outside. Behave yourselves, okay?” warned Kochi before he walked unsteadily outside. 

“Will he be okay?” asked Hokuto, while he watched his agent almost stumble to someone else’s table. 

“What was that about? About you being afraid of dying?” 

Hokuto turned, perplexed that Taiga acknowledged his existence. He looked sideways, before asking, “Are you talking to me?” 

Taiga didn’t miss the sarcasm and rolled his eyes. “No, I’m talking to myself.”

Hokuto didn’t think he would find Taiga’s embarrassment so amusing. “I think everyone is afraid of dying,” he said after a while. 

“Even if it’s fictional?”

He nodded. “Why not? Dying in a movie can be a harrowing experience. Lead actors never just drop dead. There has to be drama and lengthy dialogues. It’s a very demanding task.” 

“I see,” said Taiga, eating another yakitori, Hokuto noticed how many sticks were on Taiga’s side compared to his and Kochi. 

“Are you not afraid of dying?” 

Taiga didn’t think twice. “No.” 

“Even at this age?”

“No.”

“That’s…very brave of you then,” he said, impressed. 

Taiga finished his beer and sighed. “There’s no need to be worried,” said Taiga as he looked straight into his eyes. “I’m sure you're going to live long.”

Hokuto gripped his glass so tight, he thought it might snap the handle as the Twitter QRT replayed in his mind. 

“Why does that sound so sad?” He asked before he could stop himself. He now understood why the QRT baffled him so. It wasn’t a greeting or an affirmation, it was a goodbye. 

@Hokutosrunner33 decided to start the year by bidding him goodbye. And he didn’t know why a stranger’s tweet affected him so. Fans always come and go. @Hokutosrunner33’s tweet was even made in private, it was never meant for him to see. So why did he feel sad knowing a fan of his had left him?

“Did you guys behave yourselves while I was gone?” 

“I have to leave,” said Taiga. “I just remembered that I have to be looking for my housemate.”

“But-” Kochi objected. 

“Call a driver, okay? Both of you shouldn’t drive. And this meal is on me.” Taiga left with their tab, and Kochi ran after him, protesting that he would be paying. Hokuto just sat there, looking at Kochi and Taiga while they argued at the counter. He assumed Taiga managed to beat Kochi from paying, because Kochi followed him out. 

Hokuto opened his X and posted, “Hope you’re all doing well. Thank you for existing.”

A notification arrived on the purple iPhone in an instant, and even though @Hokutosrunner33 may never know it was intended for her or him, Hokuto could only hope that they had also seen his post.

[Twitter]

@Hokutosrunner33

I drink until I throw up. Not recommended, but it helps during the worst times.

QRT

@MHokutoOfficial

What do you do when you miss someone? 

[/Twitter]

***

Taiga woke up to the smell of toasted bread and cholesterol. He only knows one person who likes that Western-style breakfast of eggs and bacon. He immediately got up. His head was about to split in two, while his face almost planted on the floor from stepping onto the empty beer cans. 

“Shintaro!” He called as soon as he opened the door. 

“Kyomo,” said Shintaro, smiling gingerly as he turned off the stove. 

Taiga sighed. All the anger he felt was gone and replaced with relief. “Where have you been? Why did you even turn off your phone?”

Shintaro sighed and steered him to take a seat. “I’m sorry for what I did.”

Taiga shook his head and patted Shintaro’s head. “I’m sorry, too. I said some really hurtful things.”

“I’ve spoken with TAHO.”

“You did?” He asked, surprised. 

Shintaro nodded. “They were sad, but they told me they would be picking another winner.” 

Taiga sighed. Relief flooded in with a tinge of sadness. “Shin, I know you need the money.”

“It doesn’t matter and,” he sniffed closer, “Did you drink? You don’t really drink, is it - is it because of me?” Guilt flashed across Shintaro’s face. 

“No, of course not. Work has been just too stressful.” It was the truth. He drank for an entirely different reason, but Shintaro wouldn’t believe him.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I almost lost our friendship over a tent and…”

The room grew silent and even the smell of bacon escaped Taiga's notice as imaginary bells rang in his ears.

“Care to repeat that?” He asked once the shock wore off. 

“I’m sorry?” Shintaro said as he took a step farther from him.

“No, after that.” He stood up too and took a step toward Shintaro.

“I didn’t know why I did that?”

“After that…” he said slowly, “You said something about losing our friendship over a tent?” 

“Tent?” Shintaro chuckled. “You must have misheard me, I clearly said TAHO. I almost lost our friendship over TAHO.”

“Ahhh…but I remember you asking me for a million yen for a tent like 6 mos ago?”

Shintaro frowned, looking so confused Taiga almost doubted his memory. Maybe he should call Kochi. Shintaro is good enough to be an actor. 

“A million yen for a tent? Me? Duh. I’m not mad to waste money over that.”

“You’re right. You’re mad to spend a million over some glamorized tepee-”

“Glamorized tepee?” Shintaro repeated, looking offended. “It's far from a tepee, it’s a state-of-the-art tent complete with indoor heating. It’s silicone-coated fibreglass that could fit 6 people-” He stopped when he realized what he just said. His eyes grew wide, and his mouth wide open.

“You sonofabitch!” Taiga was just a second slower before Shintaro managed to lock himself in the bathroom. 

***

Hokuto also woke up with a splitting headache. He blamed being lightweight that he got a hangover over 2 glasses of beer. Those beers should have been alcohol-free, so he didn’t get the headache right off the bat. He emptied a bottle of water and turned on his humidifier, before slumping back on his couch. He had an appointment after lunch and hoped the worst had passed.

Rrriinnggg…

Groaning, he blindly reached for his phone.

“Hello,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

“Hokuto,” said Jesse, “I think you brought home one script with you.”

“What script?”

“The One That Got Away.”

He frowned. “I don’t think so. Is that the one where the main character died three times? I already rejected that.”

“Yeah, that one. It's not here and TAHO is recalling it. Can you check again and bring it with you later?”

“Okay. Okay. I’ll check and bring it later if I have it.”

“Thanks. See you later.”

He tried to return to dreamland, but sleep remained elusive. He checked the time. It was 8 in the morning. He got up and prepared a quick breakfast of savory oats cooked in chicken broth. And while he waited for it to boil, he checked the pile of scripts that were still on his kitchen island and groaned seeing he brought home the reject pile instead. Except for the script on top, he rejected the rest, including "The One That Got Away". 

“Why is TAHO recalling this? Did they realize it was bad, or did someone else want it?” 

He called them scripts, but they only really received the screenplay synopsis. The screenplay synopsis mostly consists of a logline and 3 Acts. It would be roughly 10 pages or less, and if it was interesting enough, that would only be the time they would request for the full script. 

His oats started boiling and, because he hated washing dishes, he would be eating straight from the pot. He drizzled his oats with honey and blueberries before settling down and started reading the synopsis. 

The One That Got Away

 

Logline

 

A fanboy is magically transported back to his high school days. Back in the past, he sees it as an opportunity to save his favorite rock singer from meeting his tragic end.

 

Act 1

 

The story opens with HYOUGA in a hospital. He’s an incoming senior year high school student and he could no longer move his legs because of an accident. And just like his legs, he felt like his life had stopped moving too. Elsewhere in Tokyo, a newly debuted group called “Stones of Rock” are having their first radio guesting. The members have to call a random number to surprise them. Their lead singer, KOUSEI ends up calling Hyouga’s number. 

 

Hyouga has no idea who Kousei is. And losing his legs makes him so irritable he hurls hurtful words toward a stranger. But Kousei remains patient and ends the call by telling Hyouga, “Thank you for staying alive. Despite everything, thank you for staying alive. I’m sure someone out there is happy and grateful to see you alive.” Hyouga cried after hearing that and that call was the start of Hyouga’s new journey.

 

Fast forward to the present year 2023, Hyouga now works as a ghostwriter and is a huge “Stoners”, the fan name for “Stones of Rock”. Meanwhile, Kousei might be a successful frontman, but he just announced to his bandmates and agency that it’ll be his last concert. He is quitting. Unbeknown to the drama behind-the-scenes, Hyouga attended “Stones of Rock” New Year’s Eve concert and on his way home, he had an unexpected encounter with Kousei after his electric wheelchair ran out of batteries. Kousei stayed with Hyouga by the roadside, offering him his umbrella, until Hyouga’s friend arrived. As a token of Hyouga’s appreciation, he gave Kousei a jar of candies, which he knew he loved. 

 

As fireworks lit up the night sky to welcome 2024, Hyouga got alerted by his fandom mutuals of distressing news. According to rumors, Kousei jumped from the balcony of his hotel room into the pool and was found dead. Troubled by the news, Hyouga wheels himself to the hospital. A swarm of reporters are outside, and Hyouga uses his disability and pretends to need medical attention. 

 

Once inside, Hyouga tries to look for Kousei as breaking news about his death was on all the TVs. Hyouga mistakenly enters a fire exit and finds himself trapped, because the door cannot be from his side. As Hyouga frantically knocks and calls for help, the watch on his wrist glows. It was an old G-shock watch he brought from a fan auction rumored to be owned by Kousei. Not only did that watch glow, the seconds' time started moving backwards. Thinking there was a malfunction, he pressed buttons D & C together to reset, and the time stopped. But it wasn’t just the watch face time. His surroundings went to a standstill, an eerie silence descended, and even the air seemed to cease. He gasped for air and in the blink of an eye, Hyouga found himself back in his high school classroom with his math teacher glaring at him.

 

Surprised, he stood up and saw that he was in his freshman class. More surprising that he managed to stand, which meant that his legs were still working fine. Thinking that everything was just a dream and that he could consciously move the way he wanted his dream to be, he ignored his teacher’s shouts and bolted out of his class to their neighboring school. Based on his fan knowledge, Kousei played football during his freshman year, and Hyouga’s heart soared to dizzying heights when he saw Kousei leaving the field with his teammates. Hyouga ran after Kousei and ended in a locker room full of sweaty and naked bodies. Hyouga paid no attention to their yelps. His gaze fixed only on one guy, and Kousei could only stare in shock as Hyouga embraced him.

 

“I didn’t know you were in so much pain. I’m sorry. I’ll make it better.”

 

Hokuto’s oats had turned gooey. He probably only managed two spoonfuls before he became engrossed in reading the Acts. Despite being only a synopsis, it piqued his interest. And even at this early, he wanted to read the full script. 

He opened his phone and sent a LINE message to Jesse, “Sorry, still not feeling well. Can we move the meeting today to tomorrow?” 

Jesse replied quickly, “Are you okay? Kochi said you drank last night. Do you need anything?” 

“Just need a bit more rest,” he replied back. 

“No problem. I'll set the canceled meeting at an earlier time. Is 9 am okay?”

“Suits me fine. See you tomorrow.”

“Get well soon.”

His stomach grumbled, but he didn’t want any of his gooey oatmeal. He returned to his couch and continued to read Act 1. He is dead-set on finishing everything today. His breakfast could wait, as he had a different kind of hunger to satisfy. 

***

“Shintaro did that?!” exclaimed Juri after Taiga relayed what happened between him and his housemate. Juri is also familiar with Shintaro as they all went to the same middle and high school, even though they were two years ahead of Shintaro. 

“I know he has some expensive hobbies; biking, diving, and now, camping?” Juri added, chuckling. 

Taiga shook his head. “It shouldn’t really matter only if he had a lucrative job to match his hobbies instead of taking out loans and maxing-out his credit card just to sustain his hobbies,” he complained. Shintaro has been working as a pre-school teacher and the pay he received was only a fraction of his expenses. 

“You spoiled him.”

Taiga gaped. “Don’t you dare blame this on me.” In his defense, he didn’t spoil Shintaro, he was just supportive. 

Juri just smirked. “Putting that aside, TAHO wants your script, yet you declined? You didn’t have to give Shintaro the money. You can just keep all of it.”

Taiga sighed. His previous argument with Shintaro replayed in his head. “It’s not about the money. I don’t want that story out.” 

“Why did you write it then?” 

“Can’t I write for myself?” He snapped back. “Are all stories meant to be read by someone else?”

“Woah! Why are you angry at me?”

“I’m not angry,” said Taiga, huffing, “I’m just making my point.” 

“Okay, Mr. I-write-for-myself. But what’s the worst that can happen if you put out that story?” 

Taiga looked at his bento with a forlorn face. “Honestly, I’m also not sure. Maybe nothing will happen, but I’d rather not tempt fate…” Again.

[Twitter]

 

@Hokutosrunner33

Just don’t hurt yourself. Take risks within your limits. Life rewards those who value it. 

Good luck at film school! 

 

QRT

 

@MHokutoOfficial

Life’s too short to be content with the mundane. Life rewards those who take risks. 

#FilmSchoolOpeningDay

#AmItoooldforschool?

 

[/tweet]

***

Act 3

 

...as they retrieved Kousei’s lifeless body from the water, the G-shock watch on Kousei's wrist glowed. It glowed the same way as Hyouga's, and he wasted no time and pressed those buttons. Time stops, and as he gasps for air, Hyouga returns to a different timeline. 

 

It was a timeline Hyouga had forgotten until Kousei confessed that he fell in love with Hyouga the first time he laid eyes on him. It was a pivotal moment as much as it was a catalyst. But more than ever, it was Hyouga’s last chance to save Kousei. 

 

Hyouga stood at the corner while he watched Kousei pick up the package that was delivered accidentally at their front door. Kousei crossed the short distance between their houses, before he paused to gaze at the rain shower, and Hyouga thought,“I always asked myself, if I had fallen for you right at the same time, would those things still happen? Would we have the chance to be happy? Or would fate remain unbending?”  

 

The rain came down hard like his tears, and unlike before when he ran to greet Kousei and get his package from him, Hyouga stayed at the corner, letting his umbrella fall from his hand, and letting himself get soaked from the rain so no one could tell he’d been crying.  

 

“But I've ran out of chances, and there’s only one way I can change your fate. If we had never met, you would still be alive.”

 

Hyouga and Kousei never met that fateful day. Years passed by, and Kousei remained oblivious that someone like Hyouga existed. As another year ends, Hyouga waited in anticipation for the news he hoped would never arrive. And his dreaded news never arrived. Kousei’s survival brings immense joy to Hyouga, who feels his sacrifices were rewarded. 

 

Kousei lives. Hyouga lives. And everything is well. 

“We’re really sorry, but the writer already refused his story to be made into any form of media. However, we won’t stop you from trying to convince the writer.” 

“I learned today that Jesse and you did illegal stuff to know the identity of the writer,” muttered Kochi over the phone. 

“Illegal?” Hokuto scoffed. “We didn’t torture anyone. The writer’s name landed smoothly on our hands.” 

Kochi scoffed. “Do you want to do that movie so badly? I thought you don’t like dying.” 

“I don’t, but I get to live.” 

“Where are you right now?” 

“Right at the door of the writer,” he said, double-checking the door’s number before pressing the buzzer.

“Unless the writer lives in another time-zone, it’s fucking 11 pm?” Said Kochi, aghast. “Isn’t that too late?”

“Not really. It’s the optimal time to make sure they are already at home. They had dinner, took a shower, and relaxed in bed. They’re probably watching Netflix while they wait to fall asleep. In short, they will be too tired to argue with me and would just agree to make me leave.” 

“I don’t know. Can we just go back at a more appropriate time and in a more formal manner?” 

“It’ll be fine,” he insisted. 

“Are you sure you weren’t followed? There could be paparazzi.”

“Don’t worry, I’m in full disguise. I have to go, bye.” He said all that, but his disguise was just him in a hoodie, a black mask, and his prescription glasses. He rang the bell again and also knocked twice, but seconds became minutes and there was still no answer. 

“Isn’t this too late to be still out and about? Or is he asleep and a deep sleeper?” He murmured. He buzzed again and called, “Morimoto Shintaro-san? Are you in there? Morimoto-san?” He knocked once more when suddenly, his gaze shifted from the door to the ceiling, and pain shot through his body as he realized his right arm and torso were twisted oddly. 

“Who are you and why…Hok - Matsumura?” 

He tried to focus his eyes on the speaker while he winced in pain. “Kyomoto Taiga?”

“What are you doing here?” They asked and as though to prove how they synced, they both grunted in annoyance. 

“Can you let me go?” asked Hokuto. “I come in peace.” He used his foot to push the two bags of fried chicken he brought with him. It had a logo of a famous fried chicken store which he endorses. “Care for a late-night snack?” 

Taiga sighed and let go of him. He looked like he had a long day, his fair skin paler and dry, while he visibly struggled to carry two backpacks with him. Hokuto could see his reluctance to let him into the apartment, but he was right when he told Kochi that at this time, people were just too tired to argue. 

***

Taiga regretted inviting Hokuto the moment he served his tea. But he was tired. He had a tough day, the scheduled 3-hour photoshoot dragged on to 6 hours. He ate nothing but an onigiri and an instant miso soup and when he smelled that bucket of fried chicken; it was hard to say no. 

“I only have bottled tea,” he said, uncapping the bottle, while he glanced at the bucket of fried chicken. The smell tickled his senses as his stomach grumbled in anticipation. 

“Nice, it’s my former bandmate,” said Hokuto with a smile. “He doesn’t really like tea, though. He prefers energy drinks.”

“Why are you looking for Shintaro? Especially this late.” He fairly had an idea why Hokuto showed up. He just didn’t think Hokuto would be that fast. Someone from TAHO informed Shintaro that Hokuto was looking for him, and although they promised they wouldn’t give any of Shintaro’s details, Taiga knew that it was only a matter of time. People with connections like Hokuto often get what they want. 

“What kind of person is Morimoto-san?” asked Hokuto while circling his arms, “And what kind of people would look for him that you have to be so defensive?”

Taiga smirked. “I think it’s natural to be suspicious of a man standing outside the apartment before midnight.” 

Hokuto simpered and scoffed. “Look, don’t take it the wrong way, but I live in a penthouse. What could I possibly want here?”

Taiga raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Do you want me to twist your arm again?”

Hokuto backed off and cleared his throat, while his eyes judged their apartment. “I have some business with Morimoto-san.”

“What?”

“I…prefer to only speak to him,” he said with an air of importance. “Uhm, it’s 11:30. Where is he?”

Taiga shrugged. Shintaro usually goes partying during Friday nights and he never expected him to be home until around 2 or 3 in the morning. But he would never tell Hokuto that.

“Are you not going to look for him? It’s late, he’s not home yet. Are you not worried?”

“I’m his housemate, not his mother. Now…can I go eat?” He asked, his eyes literally munching on the chicken.

“Eat? Oh - oh yeah, help yourself.”

Taiga wore the plastic gloves and ripped out the fried chicken into shreds. He had a thigh part on his right hand, and a leg part on his left hand, and he ate them as though he had 12 siblings and only 8 pieces of chicken.

“Don’t they feed you at work?” asked Hokuto and handed him his bottled tea when he almost choked. Taiga almost finished it when the thought of an indirect kiss made him stop and furiously wipe his lips.

“What’s wrong with you now?” asked Hokuto, looking so weirded out with him. 

Taiga answered his first questions instead as he removed the oily gloves. “You’ve seen my boss. We have a strict image to maintain at Panache. We can’t be fat and ugly and food is limited even when it’s free.” The fat and ugly part is true, but Taiga and Juri were a few of the rebels who dressed for work as though they were just going to a konbini. They did try to keep-up with their fashionable colleagues and made Tuesday and Thursday the designated days when they would dress a bit more flattering. 

“That doesn’t sound right. Isn’t that work discrimination and exploitation? Why do you keep working for them?”

“I’m not defending Miranda here, but would you resign from work just because you’re not happy? Do you just quit?”

“Certainly,” he said with conviction. “I didn’t choose this job to be miserable.” 

Taiga remained doubtful. “Then why didn’t you just quit? Why…” He asked, louder than what he intended.

“Why would I quit? I love my job,” he said with a smile.

Taiga smiled wistfully. “If that’s true, then I’m glad.” 

“Why would I lie about it?” He asked, frowning.

“Well, you know, there have been cases of…of actors and actresses who - who -”

“Killed themselves,” Hokuto finished for him and fear gripped Taiga’s insides. Unlike Hokuto, he didn’t mind dying. What scared him more were people he loved dying and he couldn’t do anything about it.  

“Are you worried about me?” asked Hokuto, teasing him with a smile. 

“Of course not,” he said with a disgusted look. 

“I don’t even like dying in dramas and movies. Do you think I would do that in real life? I’m too stubborn to kill myself. If I die,” he said and quickly knocked on the table, “I’m more likely to be murdered.” 

Taiga’s eyes widened while his knuckles pressed on his thighs. “Don’t joke like that,” he said quietly and Hokuto chuckled.

“Why are you so serious?”

He feigned a yawn and realized that he was indeed sleepy. He’s tired, and he’s starting to entertain “What if” thoughts. 

“Feel free to wait for Shintaro, I’m going to bed.” He stood up and Hokuto stopped him by holding on to his pants.

“Excuse me? Are you leaving me here all on my own?”

“Why not? You said it yourself, you live in a penthouse. What could you possibly want in our place? Goodnight,” he finished with a grin. 

He continued to smirk until he reached his room and, as soon as he closed his door, he let his nerves take over as he huddled underneath his blanket. 

***

“Why am I still here?” Hokuto asked himself as the clock struck 1 am. He glanced at Taiga’s room and muttered, “After I fed him, he wouldn’t even leave me with a blanket?” 

He closed the fridge after placing all the leftover chicken. He had also cleaned the table where Taiga ate, and dumped the tea bottles into recyclables, and he could only sigh as he slumped back on the floor. He must be going crazy, there’s no other explanation. He just received an offer from an Academy Award director, and he even gets to live in the story, but “The One That Got Away” pulled something in him that he couldn’t explain yet. He needed answers, and only Morimoto Shintaro could answer him. 

He was checking his phone when heard some movements coming from Taiga’s room. Fearing that Taiga might throw him out, he slouched on the coffee table and pretended to be asleep. He even added a light snore for good measure and Taiga should feel honored, he would get to experience his premium acting.

He heard no more movements, but the chilly living-room became warm as a blanket was placed around his shoulders. He kept his eyes closed as Taiga lightly brushed his hair away from his face, before lightly tracing his finger on his cheek. Hokuto could no longer pretend to be snoring because he couldn’t even breathe properly. This gentleness was something he never expected from Taiga. It felt foreign, but also familiar. 

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry? Why is he apologizing? Is it because he left me alone in the living-room?” He heard another movement, the opening and closing of the door, and a new voice spoke in hushed tones.

“Kyomo.”

“Oh fuck, that’s probably Morimoto-san and I can’t pretend to have awoken. It’ll be too awkward! Taiga will think I’ve been awake all along.”

He heard another closing of the door. He kept his eyes closed even though he was itching to check where the housemates were. Then, he heard someone walking across the floor and the door behind him, Taiga’s room, closed.

He counted to ten before opening his eyes. The entire apartment was deadly silent, and the only reason he didn’t think everything was just his imagination was the blanket on his shoulders and a bed pillow on the couch. 

 

[Twitter]

 

@Hokutosrunner33

 

Your birthday is the only reason I look forward to summer.

 

QRT

 

@MHokutoOfficial

 

Summer is here and you know what’s in summer? My birthday!

#Iloveallyourfanarts

 

[/twitter]

***

Hokuto fell asleep while waiting and plotted how to ambush Morimoto Shintaro without Taiga breathing down his neck. As the autumn sun filtered through the blinds, Hokuto was wide awake but not the two housemates. He decided to wait a bit more, he must have dozed off again, until 10 am arrived. The first signs that he was not alone in the apartment came. Taiga went to the toilet and as he started making a ruckus in the kitchen like an average Asian mom on a weekend, Hokuto pretended to have just awoken. 

And what came next was just a series of unexpected events. First, Taiga prepared breakfast for him. But it was all tomatoes from tomato omelette, soup, juice, and even a tomato-flavored yogurt. It was like Taiga knew how much he hated tomatoes and decided to torture him.

“I hope you like them. Tomatoes are my favorite,” Taiga said as he popped in a raw tomato cherry.

“Even if it is, isn’t this too much?” He argued.

Taiga grinned. “You don’t have to eat it, just leave,” he said, pointing at the door. “Don’t you think you’ve overstayed your welcome?”

Hokuto raised his chin rebelliously. He couldn’t believe he became this shameless, before he attacked his tomato soup, and with each spoonful, he felt like his body was fighting for the food to stay down. But he should be strong, he must remain until Morimoto goes out of his room.

The second twist of the morning was ‌Tanaka Juri. Taiga introduced him as Panache’s graphic artist and although Hokuto was sure it was his first time meeting Juri, the guy seemed to have bad blood with him. Juri didn’t bother with niceties and was downright rude to his questions.

“Don’t you have a house, why sleep here?” asked Juri. He might be thin, but his gold accessories were as intimidating as Mr. T. 

“He has a penthouse,” Taiga not-so-helpfully quipped.

“Uhm, I accidentally fell asleep while waiting for Morimoto-san. By the way, is he home? Still sleeping?”

“I don’t think he has arrived yet,” said Taiga and Hokuto knew he was lying. 

“Then, you can leave now,” said Juri. “Why eat my Kyomo’s cooking?”

Hokuto didn’t miss that possessiveness. “I need to show my appreciation, because he made me breakfast,” he argued with a strong emphasis on “me”.

“I’m not sure what’s happening between you two, but either eat and shut up or leave,” Taiga chided.

“How can I eat if I shut my mouth?” He retorted, trying to be a smart ass, which Taiga didn’t seem to appreciate. But Taiga didn’t get to counterbuff, because Shintaro burst out of his room. He mumbled a quick apology to them before heading straight to the toilet. And soon enough, a whiff of something noxious traveled toward them.

Despite the smell, Hokuto smirked seeing Taiga’s jaws on the floor. “Is that Morimoto-san? I guess he’s at home after all.”

Which led to the 3rd curveball of that morning, Morimoto Shintaro. He is just thick. Thick body, thick eyebrows, thick hair, and even thick humor. Hokuto had a hard time believing if that was really his personality or if he just wanted to give him a hard time.

“....so I’m really hoping you would change your mind and let TAHO and us make it into a movie,” he said, offering Shintaro the cold and half-eaten bucket of fried chicken. 

Shintaro remained looking serious, or he could probably be sleepy as he asked, “I just have a question.”

“Yes, please.”

“In your movie ‘Moving’, why is it called moving when you can’t move because of ALS?”

Hokuto just blinked. Juri also looked dumbfounded, while Taiga didn’t seem to be listening and just enjoyed his breakfast.

“Uhm, that’s your question?”

Shintaro nodded, his eyes looking innocently at him.

“Well, uhm, it’s called ‘Moving’, because it involves me and my daughter moving to different stages in our lives. I’m moving toward the end of my normal bodily functions, and eventual death, and my daughter is moving to a life without me and with a new family,” he explained, as slowly as possible, because Shintaro was scowling the whole time. 

“Ahhh…that’s why,” he said after a while.

“Yes, so, uhm, about the script-”

“Still a no,” said Shintaro. “I’m a man of my word. I don’t monetize friendships, and I’m loyal,” he finished and grinned toward Taiga. 

Hokuto still tried. “Nothing could change your mind?”

“No,” he said and started munching on the unheated fried chicken.

“Even this?” Hokuto went to take something from his coat’s pocket and presented it to Shintaro. “Someone told me that you might be interested.” Jesse’s intel had picked up that Shintaro was into camping lately and had been liking a lot of posts on tents. 

Shintaro opened the envelope and Hokuto watched him gaped. It is a gift voucher worth a million yen from a famous camping brand, and Hokuto would also be shouldering any added customizations. Shintaro turned to Taiga, who simply glared at him, before he reluctantly closed the envelope and returned it to him. Something tells Hokuto that Taiga and Shintaro’s relationship goes deeper than being housemates. It looks like Taiga has a say even in Shintaro’s decision-making and Hokuto can only wonder if the housemates are in a relationship. BL? Is that an inspiration for Hyouga and Kousei’s story? 

“Camping is so yesterday, I have a new hobby,” said Shintaro, forcing a smile onto his face. 

“Really?” He asked, doubtful.

“Really.”

Hokuto sighed, but he hadn’t given up yet. “Very well. It looks like I can’t change your mind -”

“Byeeee then!” said Juri shrilly.

Hokuto cocked an eyebrow. This Tanaka is getting on his nerves “- but before I go, can I ask something about your work?”

Shintaro nervously glanced at Taiga, who just slightly tilted his head. 

“What about my work?” asked Shintaro.

“Yeah, uhm, I’m just curious, but why did you choose a sad ending?” Maybe it was just his imagination, but the air in the room turned strained. He continued, “Hyouga and Kousei get another shot, why can’t they just try again? Kousei already died three times. Isn’t that an indication that what is bound to happen will happen? Isn’t it better for them to stay together than apart from the limited time that they have? Why do you have to make them suffer-”

“What made you think they’re suffering?” Taiga cuts in, looking aggravated. “Kousei has no idea Hyouga exists. Hyouga exists knowing that he finally gets to do why he started time-traveling in the first place, and that’s protecting Kousei. Both of them are alive. Isn’t that a happy ending?” 

“No,” he said firmly, almost like he was arguing. “Kousei has no idea Hyouga exists, and Hyouga, frankly, isn’t he quite masochistic? But he’s not just hurting himself, he’s hurting Kousei too. How is that a happy ending when both got hurt and lost each other?” 

“Masochistic?” Taiga repeated slowly with an eyebrow raised. “It’s called sacrifice. Never heard of that? Love is about sacrifice, too.”

“If love is about sacrifices, then let Kousei decide that? If he wants to sacrifice his life for Hyouga again, then so be it.”

“I thought you hated dying, would you rather die again—if you were Kousei?”

“I would,” he answered quickly. Taiga’s eyes grew wide and everything just clocked in. “I’d rather exist in a world where I knew Hyouga and die, than to exist and live, but never knew Hyouga at all.” 

Taiga stood up. His eyes were misty, and Juri and Shintaro looked wary. “You’re done with your breakfast, now leave,” he said with a more menacing controlled calm, before he went to his room. The tense air earlier turned so suffocating that Hokuto had to pull on his collar. 

“Tch, do you want to make the movie or do you want to criticize it?” asked Shintaro, while Juri glared at him. 

Hokuto sighed. His throat felt dry and he drank the tomato juice without thinking. “I also don’t understand why I’m so affected by this story, so Kyomoto-san wrote it?” He deduced. Taiga and Shintaro weren’t in that kind of relationship, and Taiga wasn’t only protective of his housemate. He was more protective of his story, which Hokuto assumed was submitted to TAHO without Taiga’s knowledge until it won the grand prize.

Shintaro was too shocked to deny it, and Juri looked like he also knew about it. 

“I guess this makes it harder,” he murmured. He stood up and bid everyone goodbye. He even added that Shintaro could keep the gift voucher. 

He just reached the elevator when someone called his name, he turned and saw Juri. 

“Did I forget something?” He asked while he waited for the elevator to reach the 6th floor. 

“Just let it go, don’t try to reach out to Kyomo again,” said Juri, his tone snippy. 

Hokuto cocked an eyebrow. “And I should listen to you because?” 

“Because I’m sure that’s what Kyomo wants. Can you just respect it?”

He clenched both his hands as the elevator stopped on the floor. “If that’s what Kyomoto wants, then he can tell me himself.” He stepped into the elevator and sighed. He knew he was being ridiculously stubborn, but seeing how affected Taiga was earlier, Hokuto could tell that the synopsis he read barely scratched the surface. He must read the whole script.

Or, he must know the real story behind the script.

***

“So that’s Matsumura Hokuto?” said Juri, making Taiga pause from eating. He, Juri, and Shintaro decided to head out for dinner at their favorite unagi restaurant. 

“Yeah,” said Taiga casually. He still felt embarrassed about how he acted earlier. He didn’t think he would lose his cool, but more so, he didn’t expect to be called masochistic either. Juri and Shintaro went somewhere by lunch until they returned for dinner. They didn’t dare talk about what happened earlier, and he hoped it remained that way until Juri mentioned Hokuto’s name again.

“He was our BND model for quite some time. I think he did a lot of work for Panache and our sister companies, but I’ve never worked directly with him,” he added.

“Same,” said Juri, “But I first heard his name not in our workplace or on TV. I heard it from you.”

Taiga feigned a laugh. “R-really? You must have misheard it.” He sipped his kimosui. He really didn’t want to talk about Hokuto right now, and hoped Juri could take the hint.

“Probably,” said Juri, chuckling. “Both of us had too much to drink that time. Remember? It was that time when Shintaro turned 20.” 

“Ahhh…probably.”

“Yeah. Probably. Because why would you even say something like you are missing Matsumura Hokuto?”

Taiga was thankful Shintaro returned with a juicy gossip he overheard and Juri’s attention was divided. He resumed sipping his eel liver soup, but the warmth it was supposed to provide slowly dissipated and a chill spiralled within his gut. He looked at his half-eaten unagi and thought how fishes were caught by the mouth. 

He sighed. He no longer feels like eating. He should have stayed home and be miserable.

“I’m going to the toilet,” he said. Their fave unagi place was as busy as usual, and he had to leave the restaurant since the toilet was in the back building. There were a couple of black retro taxis by the taxi stand and because he wasn’t paying attention, he almost collided with someone going out of a konbini. 

“Excuse me,” the man said, too busy uncapping an energy drink to pay Taiga a glance. The man reeked of cigarette smoke, and he would have ignored him altogether until he heard that clang of keys and keychains. It was a sound that always unnerved him, like a brand-new chalk on a blackboard. His heart trembled as he braved a glance at the man he almost bumped into. He wore the classic taxi driver uniform with a naval hat and white gloves, and as he turned to the couple of foreigners who asked him something, color drained from his face seeing the man’s side-profile.

Taiga couldn’t be mistaken. He was the same man who almost got him killed twice, and on the man’s third try, someone else died for Taiga.

Hokuto’s earlier words rang in his head, “…isn’t that an indication that what is bound to happen will happen?”

He watched the taxi drive away. He is scared and he never felt so alone. But he got to trudge on. He already did it before, Hokuto is still alive and it’s proof that the past can be changed. 

“If it’s meant to happen, let it only happen to me. Please, can at least one of us be happy?”

Maybe he was really masochistic. He ran back to the unagi restaurant and ordered Shintaro, “Tell them you change your mind, the script can now be made into a movie.” 

[Twitter]

@Hokutosrunner33

Part of me wished either to be true. I just want you to be safe, even if it means being far.  

QRT

@MHokutoOfficial

Let’s not believe in rumors. I’m here to study and not to audition for roles or look for an agent. Japanese movies are always my priority.

[/Twitter]

***

 Terms and Conditions :

 

1. The ending will never be changed.
2. Except for the ending, the writer, Morimoto Shintaro must approve any changes and adjustments. 
3. Working hours are strictly from 6 am to 7 pm. Violation of these working hours is a violation of the first rule. Any actors to participate in this movie must adhere to a code of conduct.
4. Any violations of this T&C would make any contracts and agreements for this movie void. 

 

“That gift voucher really helped you cinch this movie,” said Jesse. On their way home, they received a call from TAHO that Morimoto had shown up to seal the deal formally, and the wheels had started turning for Hokuto’s comeback movie. 

“Uh-huh.” He couldn’t say anything about the real writer of “The One That Got Away” because Shintaro showed up and not Taiga. He wished he could have spoken to Shintaro so he couldn’t delve into the significant detail - Why did Taiga change his mind?

He didn’t think Taiga was the type who easily changed his mind and after their sort-of argument back at his apartment; he was sure he would never get to do the movie. So why? 

“They even care about your welfare,” Jesse added.

“Uh-huh.” That was another mind-boggling thing for him. What’s with the 6-7 working hours? He isn’t a minor and based on synopsis alone, there were lots of scenes that should be filmed at night. 

“We’re here,” Jesse announced. 

Hokuto looked out. He had forgotten they would be in Panache Publishing. He quickly went down and headed straight to their offices. Panache’s production floor was like a labyrinth, and every workstation was an artsy shemozzle. Everyone was too busy to pay attention to him and he could only sigh in disappointment at seeing the photography division empty. Compared to the other divisions, the photography peeps might prefer working collectively, because instead of workstations, there were only two undivided and laminated orange tables filled with cluttered mess. A group photo was hung on the wall. It was taken in a bird's-eye view, and he could see that the tables were in the shape of a jigsaw puzzle. The staff used the puzzle knobs and blanks as their designated working area, and Taiga’s area was on the top blanks and he looked so tiny on his huge desk.

“Segi, where are—what are you doing here?” asked Taiga.

“Hi,” he said numbly. All his questions were set aside as he stared at Taiga in his all-baby pink deconstructed suit. It was a refreshing sight since Hokuto couldn’t recall ever seeing him in anything but a black tee and pants. 

Taiga crossed his arms and cleared his throat. 

“I have an interview and another photoshoot here today and I decided to drop by,” he said quickly after he recovered.

“I see.”

“Uhm, M-morimoto-san agreed for his script to be turned into a movie.”

“So I heard,” said Taiga, un-crossing his arms. 

“Do you know why he changed his mind?”

Taiga shrugged. “You should have asked him.” 

“Of course, uhm, you have a nice office - awww.” He hit a coffee mug as he swung an arm and its contents splashed on his hand. Taiga was quick on his feet and started berating him before he could even check his hand. 

“Why are you so careless?” Taiga pulled him to what looked like an office pantry and ran his hand under cool water. “It’s red, oh god, it’s red. Do you think it will blister?” Taiga looked up at Hokuto, his hand felt inflamed, and maybe it was the “pink effect”, but Taiga just looked so pleasant to look at. His skin looks flush and dewy, and Hokuto could have added more if Taiga hadn’t turned away. 

“Uhm, I’ll get an ointment.” 

He watched Taiga busied himself in looking for the ointment in their huge first aid kit when he asked, “Why did you change your mind? Why did you let me do your script?” 

There was no use in pretending he didn’t know the truth and maybe Taiga was good at hiding his surprise, but he didn’t seem bothered that he knew.

“So you’ll understand,” said Taiga as he pulled out an ointment. 

“Understand what?” 

“The motive behind Hyouga’s actions.” 

Hokuto winced as Taiga started spreading the ointment on the reddened part of his hand. The ointment didn’t sting at all, but it was Taiga’s touch that sent a different tingle running through his skin.

“Hyouga and Kousei, who are they?” He asked, just to take his mind off from other things.

Taiga frowned. “What do you mean, who they are?”

“Aren’t they real people?” He had always presumed the characters were based on someone else’s real life without the time-travel element. 

“Real people?” Taiga snorted, but Hokuto detected wariness in Taiga’s face. “Yeah, they’re real.”

His eyes grew wide and whispered as though he was bound to secrecy, “Are you serious?”

“Of course, just as time-travel is real.” Taiga looked in his eyes, and Hokuto could see a depth so profound, the hair on his nape rose as a glass shattered on the floor.

They both turned and Minato looked wide-eyed at them. “E-excuse me.”

“Don’t pick that up, you might hurt yourself,” said Taiga. “Just call the custodian.”

“O-okay,” Minato said wearily before leaving them alone. 

Taiga rummaged through the first-aid kit and found a Tegaderm. “Keep this area dry and don’t forget to buy an ointment for burns. You don’t want this to scar or it might worry your girlfriend.” 

Hokuto frowned at the casual mention of a girlfriend. “Uhm, I no longer have a girlfriend, and it’s just odd of you to mention.”

Taiga appeared surprised before his face returned to his usual pretty but resting bitch face. “Outsiders aren’t allowed on our production floor. Please leave,” he said before marching back to his office. 

He turned to his now plastered hand and found himself smiling on something he didn’t know what was so amusing.

***

“Tch, did she change her passcode again? Does she change it every day?” Taiga muttered as he entered Miranda's penthouse passcode for the second time, which earned him two buzzing sounds that meant he entered wrongly.

He sighed and quickly went to their GC.

“Miranda’s passcode, please,” he typed and waited in agony. Miranda is not only a difficult person, she’s paranoid as well. She loathes digital files and wants all final layouts to be delivered at her penthouse, all printed and in a padded and sealed envelope. But the most challenging aspect was that Miranda wouldn't even open her doors for them; they were provided with a passcode that was changed regularly and had to discreetly bring the files into her penthouse office without alerting her two Dobermans.

Unfortunately for Taiga, he’s just bad at drawing lots. 

“Why is no one answering?” He placed the envelopes of photos on the floor and tightened the string of his hoodie to fit his face snuggly. The faux fur around his hoodie itched around his face, but what could he do? The condominium might be posh, but they were such cheapskates when heating their hallways.

His phone pinged and their Art Director responded with a bunch of emojis along with a message, “The answer to these is her new passcode - for now.”

“Can’t you just give it to me?” He asked.

“I suffered. You should too.”

“Fuck you,” Taiga muttered and started solving the emojis. 

“⛄️🤍🧝‍♀️”

“Snowman, white heart, and looks like Legolas? Elf? Snow…ah! Snow white dwarves!” He wrote “7,” on his notes.

“😴🧖‍♀️💄💋📆”

“Hmmm…sleeping, bride? Make-up? Pretty?…is this sleeping beauty? But what’s with the calendar?...ah!”

He opened Google and searched -- How many years did Sleeping Beauty sleep?

“Okay…100. Next.”

He was studying the 3rd emoji when their Head Stylist replied, “It's 710038”. 

Almost teary-eyed, he began keying the numbers when he realized that he had entered the same numbers right at the beginning. 

“Where did I make a mistake?”

He was comparing the codes he had when the fire exit door slammed open, a couple of security personnel rushed in, and pointed their billy club at him as though they were guns. Before Taiga could even process what was happening, the security personnel swiftly took him away from Miranda's front door and transported him to a police station that was a couple of blocks away. 

“Waah…did Miranda call the police?” He muttered in disbelief as what looked like a rookie police officer started questioning him. He introduced himself as Aoshima Shunsaku and Taiga could only assume that the officer’s parents must be fans of Bayside Shakedown . 

“How long have you been stalking Matsumura Hokuto?”

Taiga didn’t expect that question and stuttered with his reply. “Stalking who? Hokuto? Why would I do that?”

“You’ve been stalking him for so long, you now call him using his first name.”

“Errr…I was just surprised.”

“And what’s this?” The officer unzipped one envelope and Hokuto’s images came pouring out. Worst, the photos were the new ones Minato took earlier and Hokuto wore nothing but a velvety bathrobe while in bed. Aoshima’s eyebrow remained raised while he shuffled the photos, while Taiga bit his lower lip because Miranda wouldn’t like seeing fingerprints on those photos. 

“T-that’s for the magazine -”

“You’re not just a stalker, you’re also paparazzi?”

Taiga was too aghast to defend himself. The officer placed three photographs in front of Taiga, saying, "These were taken from Matsumura-san's front door camera. Are you denying that you tried to enter his home?”

His eyes bulged. “What? Someone tried to enter his home?!” He checked the photos. The so-called stalker looked very much like what he was wearing now, a white puffer hoodie with faux fur, and one couldn’t see their face because they kept their heads down. It was like they knew exactly what the camera could capture.

“Who is this jerk? You should catch him!”

“We already caught you.”

“But it's not me,” he argued, albeit a bit weakly, when Aoshima stood up to answer a phone call. He quickly slipped one photo into his pocket, vowing he would find this real stalker.

When Aoshima returned, his face was grim. “You’re lucky Matsumura-san isn’t pressing charges.”

“Ok - wait, what? Is he crazy? He should press charges! There’s no need to be nice to stalkers. Stalkers today would become murderers next!”

Aoshima ignored him and gave him a pen and paper. “Write a statement that you would stay 100m away from Matsumura Hokuto.”

Taiga sighed. “Look, I don’t mind doing this, but I’m really not the stalker.”

“Just do it.”

“But-”

“Tch,” he muttered and shoved the photos back into the envelope.

“Uhm, you’re not confiscating the photographs, right?”

“Tch. Why are you still talking? Start writing.”

He sighed once more and reluctantly added, “I’ll admit to everything, but I really need the pictures or I might become a murder victim next.”

“What do you mean by that?”

He froze a bit, turned, and saw Hokuto in his pyjamas and a facemask. 

***

“HAHAHAHAHAHA…” 

Hokuto’s penthouse became filled with laughter as Kochi and Jesse laughed at the unfortunate coincidences within the past hour. As to what happened, Taiga had been entering Miranda’s passcode at Hokuto’s door. Miranda lives in the east wing, while Hokuto lives in the west, and Taiga is confused between the two. Although doors are numbered, the best way to know which is to look at their wall colors. They painted the east wing in emerald green, while they painted the west wing navy blue. However, the floor was being repainted, and both wings were like a blank canvas. 

But Hokuto guessed the cinched was Taiga being mistaken as a stalker. It wasn’t the first time some stranger tried to enter Hokuto’s apartment. They made reports before, but the perpetrator was too fast to be caught, until today, but they caught the wrong one. 

“Guys, that’s enough,” Hokuto said with caution while he served Taiga a hot tea. Taiga’s face was beet red and Hokuto feared him exploding. 

“Oh, c’mon, don’t tell me you don’t find it funny?” said Kochi, and he and Jesse cackled again.

Taiga just sighed and took a sip of his tea. 

“It’s getting late. Why don’t you guys go home?” He asked, hoping it didn’t sound like an order. 

Kochi was quick on his feet. “Let’s go, Taiga, I’ll drop you off-”

“He’s staying…for a bit…” He looked at Taiga with his puppy eyes and hoped he would get the hint. 

“Why would I stay?” 

Hokuto’s face fell. He expected too much from Taiga.

“I have some questions–”

“Then ask before we leave.” 

He sighed and leaned closer. “It’s about the script.”

Taiga looked so uninterested in answering whatever questions he might have, but he gave in and turned to Kochi. “You can go ahead.” 

Kochi and Jesse bid them goodbye, and all of Hokuto’s bravado vanished as soon as he closed his door. He rushed back to his living-room and saw Taiga on his balcony and he seemed to be inspecting the rails. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked, slightly worried as he watched Taiga even try to lift one leg over the railing.

“Yep, just want to check something.”

“Okay. Uhm, have you had dinner?”

“Huh? Errr, no.”

“I’ll make some instant noodles,” he volunteered. “Come inside, it’s cold.” He went to his kitchen and Taiga slowly followed him. 

“About your real stalker-”

“I think she’s a woman,” he said as he filled the pot with water. “She also carries one of those cameras with super long lenses and she always wore a similar white puffer jacket. I even think she lived in the building, so she knew her way around. She probably also knew that there was no CCTV on the fire exit except on the top floor and the first three floors. But I can’t have everyone check in the building without a proper search warrant. And I don’t think I’ll ever get a warrant, because technically, she has never done anything….shall I say life-threatening?”

Taiga sighed, looking so frustrated just like how he earlier argued about why they released him with just a written statement, and completely forgetting that he wasn’t the stalker in the first place.

“You’re taking this lightly, aren’t you?” asked Taiga, his arms crossed as though he was gearing himself to give a lengthy scolding. 

“I’m not,” he said, dropping a whole packet of ichimi togarashi. “But I also don’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“It is a big deal!”

“Don’t worry, she would never guess my passcode.”  

Taiga sighed and shook his head in disappointment. 

“Are you worried about me?” He teased. 

“If I say I am, would you take this seriously?”

He felt his heart skip a beat. “Why would you worry for me?” 

“...because you’re the lead of the movie,” he reasoned out. 

“You mean the movie you didn’t want to do until yesterday?”

“The noodles…” said Taiga, avoiding his gaze.

“What about—oh, shit!” He turned off the stove as the broth overflowed. Taiga quickly grabbed a cork coaster from his overhead cupboard, before taking one of his hanging pot holders to transfer the boiling pot to his counter. He then took a clean towel from his top drawers near the sink to wipe the spillage by the stove. 

“What are you standing there for? Grab some bowls,” said Taiga, while he rinsed the towel in the sink. 

“Oh…oh yeah.” He scooped the noodles into the bowl and soon, they were on his table to eat the noodles he cooked. 

“So, about the script,” Taiga started before slurping his noodles. 

“Ah, yeah, uhm, I haven’t really received the full script.” 

“But you said you have questions about it?”

“Yes, uhm, it’s about—I just want you to stay longer,” he fessed-up. He could feel his ears glowing red and it wasn’t because the noodles were spicy. 

“And…why?” Taiga looked equally flustered.

“Think of this as me returning the favor, because you let me stay at your place last time.” 

“Right. Uhm, t-thanks for the noodles then.”

“So, by the way,” he said after a while, “What were you telling the police earlier? About you getting…murdered?”

“That? It’s nothing serious, but Miranda might really murder me if I lose those files.”

“Ahhh…that.” He remained doubtful. What Taiga said made sense, but a part of him also thought that Taiga wasn’t being truthful.

“Done, thank you for the meal!” He exclaimed, even showing him his empty bowl. “May I use your toilet?” 

“It’s the blue door…on your right.” He didn’t have to finish what he had to say, because Taiga seemed familiar with where his toilet was. The doubt he felt earlier grew, but it was for a different matter. 

Taiga is such a mystery. He seemed to be hiding a lot of stuff as well, starting from their first meeting. Hokuto told himself that it wasn’t his business, but he just couldn’t shake off the unease and his curiosity. 

Taiga opened the door, and he was a bit startled to see Hokuto waiting for him outside. 

“You’re using next?” 

“No,” he said quietly, “I’m just curious. Why do you seem so familiar with my apartment? It was as though…you’ve been here before.”

Taiga frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Just that you seemed to know where I kept my cork coasters and kitchen towels. You even know where my bathroom was without being directed.”

For a moment, Taiga appeared disconcerted, but he just shrugged it off. “Your apartment had the same layout as Miranda’s, so it's easy to figure out where I could find stuff.”

“It’s not just about knowing where to find those stuff, but also knowing I actually have them. When I last went to your apartment, you guys were using one exhausted-looking pot holder for everything. So, what made you assume I have those things you needed earlier?”

“I think you’re overthinking these things?” 

“I also hope I’m just overthinking, but one thing is for sure…” He brushed strands of hair that were covering Taiga’s eye, “...you’re such a mystery, Kyomoto Taiga. It makes me want to unravel you.”

Taiga’s eyes grew wide. The depth Hokuto saw earlier in his eyes seemed to be manifesting something. 

“Don’t even attempt it,” Taiga warned. “Some things are better left buried.”

“What’s the worst that could happen to me?” He asked, feeling more challenged than scared.

Taiga’s eyes went from cautious to morbid. “You will die.”

Hokuto felt like his airways constricted at hearing those words. Like a spell meant to extinguish life.

“I think I made things awkward. I’m leaving,” said Taiga and Hokuto didn’t stop him, but before Taiga turned a corner, he glanced back and gave another warning, “By the way, never ever take taxis. Never.”

He heard his door closed, before he realized he wasn’t a stone, so why was he not moving? He released his clenched hands and sighed.

***

“So glad this day is over!” Taiga exclaimed as his back hit the softness of his bed. He is tired. Somehow, he hasn’t known peace since meeting Hokuto. He thought that agreeing to have the script made into a movie would tie down Hokuto, but he didn't expect Hokuto to drag him in as well. well. He let out a sigh. The sinking feeling that he didn’t get to avert anything grew deeper, and that all he did was to delay the inevitable. 

“Just like how Hokuto didn't become a band member, but an actor instead, and he still became a big star.”

“Kyomo, we need to talk,” Shintaro called from outside.

Taiga sighed once more. “I guess it's not yet over.”

He went to the living-room and Shintaro poised with a ‘big dick energy’. He’s manspreading on their couch, his arms crossed so his biceps would bulge, and he’s wearing a wife-beater shirt even if the thermostat was turned off in the living-room.

Taiga just raised an eyebrow and sat cross-legged. As the older brother, he would never get intimidated. “What is it?” He asked, feigning a yawn. 

“This!” He showed the full script of his screenplay. The same screenplay Shintaro stole from him. “I held my tongue for a very long time because I know I did something I shouldn’t, but now that it’s out in the open, I fear no one.” 

Taiga scoffed, a bit amused and impressed by Shintaro's bluster. “And what do you want?” 

“You’re Hyouga, right?” He ruffled through the pages to prove his point. “Hyouga’s family used to own a video store. Hyouga writes for the school paper and school theater club. Hyouga’s also an only child and likes tomatoes -”

“So I fashioned some of Hyouga’s life with mine. What about it? You’re not telling me you believed I went to and back in time?”

Shintaro hesitated. “Even if I remove time-travel to the equation, I think that Kousei exists, and that’s the main reason until now—you’re single.”

Taiga chuckled. “What’s this? Do you want me to go on a blind date?”

Shintaro shook his head and continued, “You’re in love with someone you can’t have, I understand. He’s up there and you’re down here. Everyone thought you would be a writer, but you chose photography instead. Why? Because you have more chances of running into the real Kousei.”

Taiga doesn't like where this conversation is going, but he’s also curious about what Shintaro has to say. So he played along and asked nervously, “And who is the real Kousei?”

Shintaro snapped his fingers. The character 'Kou' is written with the meaning of light, while the character 'Sei' is written with the meaning of star. Light Star. Kousei—that means he’s a star. He’s a celebrity! ‘The One That Got Away’ is basically your love letter to Kousei. Time-travel is just a metaphor. It was just you saying that even if you meet at different times, you will stay true to him.”

Taiga tried to maintain a passive face while his heart thundered. 

“And this Kousei is none other than him!” He brought out something from his back pocket and threw it on the coffee table. Taiga straightened in his seat, his eyes wide at a red Japanese passport. Instantly, he just knew.

“W-where did you get that?” he asked, treating the passport like a time-bomb that he shouldn’t touch. 

Shintaro scoffed. “Where do you think I got that? I was planning to surprise you with a ticket to Hawaii using the money you gave me. I thought you just happened to have your old passports, so imagine my surprise. But enough about that, I think the better question is, why do you have Matsumura Hokuto’s passport?” He asked and threw the script on top of the passport.

[Twitter]

@Hokutosrunner33

…oh

QRT

@MHokutoOfficial

My agency already confirmed it. It had been almost a year. Please look at us kindly. 

[/Twitter]

***

“I was just kidding when I asked you to write a poem for Virginia, I didn’t think you would actually do it.”

Hokuto just smiled. He knew it wasn’t a joke when Miranda asked him. He remembered it was more like an order. Although he was never really planning on writing a poem, he needed a reason to be at Panache, so he made the poem in haste. 

“If it wasn’t for yesterday’s incident, I would never know we were neighbors! How did we never run to each other?”

Hokuto acted in disbelief. “Right? So weird.” There was nothing weird about it. He learned Miranda was his neighbor a few days after he moved in and he vowed to avoid her at all costs. 

“Are you free for some coffee, neighbor?” She asked, winking.

“Ah, maybe next time I have another appointment,” he replied, crossing his fingers. “But may I speak Kyomoto Taiga? I was hoping to get a digital copy of some photos. Would that be okay?”

“Certainly, but you have to ask his apprentice for it. My secretary informed me earlier that Taiga called in sick.” 

“Oh…he’s sick?” Taiga looked perfectly healthy last night.

Miranda nodded curtly. “That’s what I was told. I should really avoid hiring young masters like him. Their bodies are too sensitive sometimes. Look at me, I might not look like it but I only had an hour of sleep, but here I am working to the bone.”

Hokuto feigned a smile. Miranda looked like she had 10 hours of sleep or more. “Uhm, did you just call Kyomoto bocchan?”

“Why, yes. I heard that his family went from a video rental owner to a streaming service owner.”

“Video store, huh?” That bit sounded so familiar. 

Miranda continued, she’s like popcorn that started popping, “‌I hired Taiga mainly for his looks. We are, after all, a fashion magazine. It’s a bonus that he’s a talented photographer, but nothing really special.”

Hokuto’s smile froze. Miranda is really that bitch.  

“Also, I’m a sucker for juicy stories and he gave a really good one during his interview.”

That perked Hokuto up. “Juicy story? Is it…a piping hot tea?”

Miranda smiled mysteriously. “I wish it was. But Taiga piqued my curiosity by saying he wanted to work for us, because he needed to hide in plain sight.”

“Huh? What does that mean?” He asked, frowning, and also scared for Taiga. What if the murder he talked about last night was real? What if he’s really hiding from someone?

“It’s quite simple,” said Miranda with an air of ‘are you that daft? ’ 

“It’s like entering an enemy’s territory. You enter their territory not because you want to be killed or something, but because it’s easier to watch their moves and you can make adjustments so you can avoid them.” 

“Ahh…so do you think Kyomoto has an enemy in this industry?”

Miranda shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Taiga has been working for me for 6 years, but he remains a mystery. It was like he always has something he only knows.” 

***

“Eh, aren’t you Kyomoto Taiga-kun?”

Taiga turned. His eyes grew wide seeing someone that was never factored to his equation. How could he be so careless? No wonder Shintaro also caught him. 

“Yes, nice to see you again, Matsumura-san.”

“I knew it!” Hokuto’s father beamed. “I thought a fairy entered our doors, the sun was up today so it could light up your path.”

Taiga giggled even though he’d been feeling under the weather. “Ah, I remember you used to own a Chinese restaurant near the main road, so is this place yours?” His eyes roamed around the upscale but subdued restaurant. The ceiling was adorned with a silver dragon painting, and the walls displayed different peach blossom scenes, offering diners the ambience of a picnic beneath a peach tree.  

“Correct! You see, my son made a bit of money,” he whispered while gesturing with his fingers, “So I now have a bigger place,” he added proudly. “How about your parents? How are they doing?” 

“My parents are doing well, thank you for asking. They’re now living in Hawaii. But they go back and forth sometimes.” 

“Hawaii? That’s nice to hear. And because I haven’t seen my beautiful neighbor for a long time, everything you order is free.” 

He was horrified at Matsumura-san’s suggestion. “Oh, no, please, let me pay--”

“No, no. I’m taking orders right now. What do you want?”

“Uhm, I just want two servings of congee and wonton soup.” 

“Good choice! I’ll give you our fully loaded congee. Take a seat first. Okay?”

Taiga didn’t protest further and took a seat by the window. His fever subsided before he went out, but he thinks it's returning. He’s an older Gen Z who thinks curing his fever means sweating it out. He blamed Shintaro for this fever. Last night had been super stressful for him. He didn’t even get a proper sleep. How could Shintaro believe in aliens but not in his story? He crossed his arms, burying both of his hands in the nook of his elbows for warmth, and closed his eyes. 

When Taiga next opened his eyes, he was no longer at the Chinese restaurant, but in a familiar room and seeing the Chiikawa lamp by the bedside made him groan. 

“Why am I back here again?” He wanted to get up and leave, but his body wouldn't let him. He felt sore all over, and he couldn’t deny that the bed felt so comfortable.

“Maybe I’m not back at his place. Maybe this was all a dream. I can’t lie to my subconscious after all.”  He stared at the smoke coming from the humidifier, and somehow, it started resembling the dragon at the ceiling earlier, enticing him to close his eyes, and he didn’t know when he drifted back to his feverish dream. 

***

“Shouldn’t we wake him up to eat something?” His father asked worriedly. 

Hokuto is troubled too. He went about this day to learn more about Taiga and got more than he wished for. Upon learning from Miranda that Taiga was sick, Hokuto went to his father's restaurant to buy a congee. To his surprise, he saw Taiga there and was astonished to discover that his father knew Taiga. And the biggest shock of all, Taiga and he were neighbors for a good three years, until Taiga’s family moved away. How did Taiga and he never run to each other? Was it like his Miranda situation? But that was impossible, because why would Taiga avoid someone he never even met?

They were right on time before Taiga fell from the chair. He was almost delirious, and against better judgment, Hokuto opted to bring Taiga home rather than to a hospital. 

“Furukawa-sensei said that he just needed rest,” he told his father, while also trying to convince himself. “He already gave him a shot, and it didn’t look like he had a cough and cold.” He looked at the plaster on Taiga’s arm where the medicine was injected earlier. 

“I think he’s waking up,” whispered Hokuto as he observed Taiga’s eyelids moving. “Can you reheat the porridge, otousan ?” 

His dad quickly went out. Hokuto knelt by Taiga’s side and watched as he slowly opened his eyes. 

“Tai-”

Taiga shushed him and covered his lips with his forefinger. “My subconscious is really persistent. Okay, I’ll enjoy this dream.” 

Hokuto looked sideways. He had no idea what Taiga meant, but he decided not to ruin Taiga’s dream. 

“I’m not feeling well, Hokuto.”

Hokuto felt his heart skip. Taiga, calling him by his name, sounded so natural, and along with his weak and quite raspy voice, he gave the impression of a lover in need of a cuddle. 

“I want a hug.”

A stampede of elephants crossed Hokuto’s chest as Taiga pulled him for an embrace. Taiga was hot, like more than 40 degrees Celsius hot, and Hokuto guessed he should be waking Taiga now from this “dream”. 

“Uhm, Kyomo-”

He tried to pull away from Taiga, but the supposedly sick person must be in a different kind of heat. 

“I might as well satisfy my subconscious.” 

Before Hokuto could say anything, Taiga swooped in for a kiss. His lips were hot from his fever, and maybe Hokuto was sick too - in the head - because he found himself kissing Taiga back. 

***

Taiga woke up in panic. He has fallen asleep in the restaurant and he hasn’t paid for his order yet. But he wasn’t in the restaurant. The Chiikawa by the bedside meant he was really in Hokuto’s room, and Hokuto’s papa smiled softly at him while he fanned a congee. 

“I should have done this sooner. I knew the smell of food would wake you up,” said Hokuto’s papa as he placed the bowl of congee on a wooden tray and served it to him. “It’s already 6 pm, you must be famished.”

He found his phone on the next pillow and gasped upon confirming the time. He went to the restaurant before 11 in the morning, which meant that he had been sleeping since then. He also noticed the plaster on his arm. 

“You fainted while you were in our restaurant. Coincidentally, my son dropped by and he called his physician to check on you and he injected you with meds for fever. How are you feeling?” He asked as he pointed a thermometer scanner on his forehead. “Ah, good, it’s now 37.6.”

“Uhm, thank you. I - I don’t know what else to say,” he said quietly. He was still in a bit of a daze at the unexpected turn of events. 

“You don’t have to say anything. Just eat, okay? Hokuto had to leave for a meeting, but he said he would be home by 7. Ah, I’ll boil water for tea.”

The mention of Hokuto cemented the fact that he wasn't dreaming when he first woke earlier. He was really in Hokuto’s room. He shook his head and concentrated on eating, he needed to get back his energy. There was no use in dwelling on the fact that Hokuto now learned they used to be neighbors. He finished the congee in no time, and he was up and about in the kitchen before the kettle whistled. 

“You should have waited inside.”

“It’s okay. Thank you for the congee, it was delicious.” 

“You’re welcome. And look,” Hokuto’s papa took two brown bags from the fridge, “These were your original order earlier, heat it when you feel like eating it.”

Taiga felt touched. He suddenly missed his parents. “Thank you, I don’t know how to repay you.”

“You don’t have to repay me,” he said as he now served him hot tea. “Just stay until my son arrives. I’m sure he wants to talk to you.”

Taiga just smiled and sipped his tea, while wondering if it was so obvious he wanted to be gone before Hokuto arrived.

“Since you’re feeling better, I can leave you alone.”

“Y-you’re leaving?” He wanted to beg Hokuto’s papa not to leave him. Maybe he should fake a faint?

“I can be away from the restaurant for the entire day, but I have to be there for the closing. You know, inventory and accounting. Hokuto will be here soon, don’t worry.” 

He wanted to protest, but he also knew he’d taken too much of his time. He tried listening by the door if Hokuto’s father had ridden the elevator as he counted to 30. When 30 came and everything was still silent, he took his shoes, mumbling an apology to Hokuto for leaving the dishes on the sink. 

A taxi just dropped off a passenger when he reached the ground floor and he quickly fired off his address. He spent his travel time answering messages, especially those from work, and also from Juri and Shintaro. Both were worried because he wasn't home when he was supposed to be sick. 

“We’ve arrived.”

That voice made him stop. Goosebumps appeared on his arms as he looked up and straight to the rear-view mirror. He knew that voice and knew those eyes. The eyes of someone who'd seen death.

“Is something wrong?” the driver asked as Taiga’s eyes traveled to the car keys by the ignition, and the silver abacus keychain made every nerve on his body freeze. He felt trapped in his own body. He was panicking and screaming inside, but he couldn’t move at all. 

“Are you okay? You’ve gotten paler–”

The door opened, and cold air blew inside the taxi, as another familiar voice spoke. “Caught you, I knew you would have gone home without waiting for me,” said Hokuto and Taiga thought his heart dropped. 

“Not again, oh god, not again,” he pleaded to no one as Hokuto and the taxi driver made their first-ever connection.

Hokuto paid off his fare and immediately checked on him as the taxi drove off. “You told me not to ride a taxi, but it’s okay if it’s you? Anyway, are you feeling better? Otousan said your temperature had dropped too, but you should still take your medicine–”

“Why?” asked Taiga. 

“Why?” Hokuto repeated. “Well, just a precaution–”

“Hokuto, please,” he begged as tears trickled down his face, “Please don’t do this. Please forget about me. Please live pretending I don’t exist. Please, please, just be selfish and think about yourself, please.” He went down on his knees, crying, pleading, while Hokuto just stood and looked on, his face marred with confusion and pain.

“Have you received the script?” asked Kochi over the phone, and Hokuto glanced at the two yellow envelopes on his coffee table. 

“It just arrived,” he replied, not bothering to check the content as he finished his morning coffee.

“Okay, if there’ll be no problems, they told me that filming will start next month.” 

“There is a problem,” he said, sighing. 

“Huh? What’s the problem?”

He could picture Kochi with his brows crossed while Hokuto’s eyes remained on the envelopes. The script might be inanimate objects, but it reminded him of Taiga; the helplessness and anguish he saw in his face last night left him awake throughout the night. 

“I think I don’t want to do the movie anymore.” 

He placed his phone down and, even though it wasn't on speaker, the coherent sound of obscenities reached his ears. He’s quite impressed that his easy-going and good-natured agent could be such a potty-mouth. 

“I need to be somewhere else, talk to you later.” He ended the call. He then placed his phone in airplane mode so no one could disturb him while he activated an eSIM for the purple iPhone. 

“You want me to be selfish, huh? Never thought I was being considerate.” He grabbed his keys and first on his agenda was his old neighborhood. 

He and his father moved to Kawaguchi at the start of his first year at senior high. Hokuto got recruited by a football team to be their midfield and his father didn’t want to leave him alone. He didn’t really want to join the team. He was pretty content with his “loser team”, but his dad had high hopes for him, one of which was to be a professional. 

“It’s now a different apartment, huh?” He took a snap of Taiga’s new home. Hokuto remembered it as made of bricks, but now it was a modern-looking apartment that advertised itself as a “tiny home with lots of spaces”. Now that he broods over it, he once entered Kyomoto's video rental shop. He planned on renting something more mature, but the shop was empty. He rang the bell once, then twice, but no one came out to attend to him.

“1…2…3…,” he counted as he crossed the alleyway from their former gate to Taiga’s, “Only 3 steps and yet we never really crossed paths, huh?” He thought and took a picture.

He reached the place that used to be his father’s Chinese restaurant. It’s conveniently located before the main road, and it’s now a cute coffee shop. He took a snap of it, too, and went in to order coffee. He studied the huge corkboard on the wall, full of polaroids, and noticed some familiar uniforms. His Buddhist all-boys school still used the classic gakuran, while his father said Taiga went to their neighboring Beitou High School of Arts and Design. Students at the school were known for wearing white long-sleeve jackets and plaid pants and pleated skirts. 

“Here’s your hot latte,” said the barista. “But, uhm, are you Matsumura Hokuto?” She asked shyly, while her colleague also waited with bated breath. Hokuto nodded, and the baristas squealed. 

When he finished giving an unexpected fan service, he walked his usual route to the bus stop, and just in time, a lime-green bus arrived. He got in and sat at the back. Almost all buses stopped at his school, which was less than a 30-minute ride. 

“I wonder if Taiga and I rode the same bus? Was I too preoccupied looking outside to never see him?” 

He pressed the buzzer as his stop neared, smiling as his high school came into view. It bathed in yellow as ginkgo trees started their annual shedding. He took a deep inhale as he went down, savoring the crisper suburban weather during autumn. He looked to his left and he could see the turrets from Taiga’s high school. It was a classic joke back then how those from Beitou must have thought they were royalties or something with their Scottish-Baronial style school. 

He took another photo, a picture to show the distance between his high school and Taiga’s from the bus stop. They ride and go down to the same stop, but somehow, they never once saw each other. 

Sighing, he entered his high school compound. His high school years were bittersweet. He had to end his football career because of a knee injury and the subsequent surgery, but it was also the start of him discovering music. By the summer of his 2nd year in senior high, they were having twice weekly band sessions, and called themselves “The Truants”. 

“And we all thought it was a cool name.” He cringed at the memory of not just their band name, but how he kept his bangs really long. His bangs poked his eyes, and even made his face itch, but he thought they were so cool. And he now remembered they even played two songs for Beitou’s founding anniversary. They were all rocking it, banging their heads. He might even rip his shirt off, but most students at Beitou looked at them with a mix of pity and revulsion. 

“Did Taiga see me? I wished he didn’t.”

He reached one of his favorite parts of the school, the expansive football field. Because the school prides itself on being a football powerhouse, the field was solely used for football and other sports teams could share the other less-maintained field. He took another photo of where he saw his dreams come true, but also saw his dreams fail. His father used to say that he joined the band solely because he was rebelling, and he became depressed when his football career didn't take off. 

"You there! Taking pictures is not allowed here."

Hokuto turned and smiled seeing a familiar face. He looked as strict as ever and the lines on his forehead were more accentuated. He went down the stairs and respectfully bowed. “Hi, coach! It’s me, Matsumura Eighteen.”

***

“You’re resigning?” A bit of emotion flashed on Miranda’s usual haughty demeanor as Taiga handed his two-week notice. He could have resigned immediately, but he didn’t want to burden those in his division. 

“Yes.”

“Is it because I didn’t approve your 1-week leave on your birthday?”

Taiga cocked an eyebrow. Miranda hardly approved any of his leaves. “I never really had a proper holiday since I worked here. All my trips overseas were working holidays,” he reminded her. 

“Which the company paid for.”

Taiga scoffed. “A working holiday isn’t a proper holiday, and that’s beside the point, Miranda. I’m still resigning for personal reasons.”

“Is it because I haven’t approved any of your photoshoot ideas because most were really tacky?”

Her frankness made him wince. “No. I’ve long accepted that my fashion sense is non-existent and I’m happy to leave the brainstorming to the styling and wardrobe department. But it still stands. I want to resign.” He knew Miranda only hired him for his looks, so he didn’t get her hesitation.

Miranda sighed and gave his unopened resignation letter another glance. “Indefinite leave?” She offered. “With a month paid? Two months is the best I can offer.”

He had to clench his hand to a fist to ward off temptation. “No.”

“Can you think this through again?”

“I’m really sorry. I’m resigning.” He thanked Miranda and left her office. He saw the news last night, and someone burned an eerily familiar shack on the ground. The past is catching up to him and he’s running out of time on something that he wasn't too sure about either. He found Juri waiting for him by the lift. He simply smiled as they both boarded the lift.

“Why are you resigning?” asked Juri.

Taiga didn’t bother asking how he knew. “I want to rest.”

“Then, I’m resigning too.”

Taiga turned to Juri, irritated. He knew he was partly responsible for how Juri changed his life’s trajectory, but as much as Juri told him he did it for Taiga, he knew that Juri enjoyed what he had been doing.  

“Don’t. Your boss is leaving soon for an animation studio, and I’m sure you’ll be the right fit to be the next Art Director.”

“Who cares? I only applied here because of you.”

Taiga sighed. “How many times are you going to say that?”

“Why?” asked Juri as he moved closer to Taiga. “Have I finally made your heart flutter after all these years?” Juri inched his face closer, his lips puckered up for a kiss, and Taiga pressed his forefinger on Juri’s forehead to push him away. 

“You’re like Shintaro to me, it’s incest…” He chuckled at the thought that Juri went from being his first love to one of his closest friends. 

Juri looked concerned. “Speaking of Shintaro, he won’t go into details, but he told me to talk to you because you were being ridiculous?” 

Taiga sighed, still peeved that Shintaro refused to believe him. “You’ll probably never believe me, anyway.” 

“Try me.” 

Taiga didn’t say anything and waited until the lift reached the ground. He went out, Juri followed, and before he crossed the turnstiles, he turned back to Juri. 

“What if I tell you in a different time, you dropped out of high school because you were a delinquent, you got into trouble and landed in jail?” 

Juri didn’t look surprised as he scratched his chin. “I can totally see that happening to me. What about it? Is that a plot?”

He can only shake his head at Juri's lack of concern. “It’s not a plot. It happened to you - to a different you and in a different time.”

“Uhm, I’m confused. Can you explain it simpler?”

“I’ve traveled through time.” 

***

“Matsumura Eighteen, who wrecked his knees before he could become a football superstar, still became a superstar on a different stage. I guess a man named after the stars will continue to shine, regardless.”

Hokuto could feel his ears glowed red. “This is so embarrassing,” he said, cupping his cheeks as his former coach poured him green tea. 

“Don’t be, my daughter is a fan.” 

“Oh, you have a daughter. How old is she?” 

“Four.”

Hokuto almost choked on his tea. “Yeah, I don’t think she knows me.”

“It’s true though,” his coach insisted. “Ema-chan would look fondly at you every time you’re on TV. We even put a poster of yours on her ceiling, she prefers to look at it than those glow-in-the-dark stickies.” 

Hokuto giggled as he drowned in praise. “I think I should send Ema-chan a gift.” 

“Just take a selfie with me later, and I’ll print it and stick it on her ceiling so she won’t forget her dad.”

“I’m sure Ema-chan loves her dad more than me.”

“I doubt it. Ah, I forgot. What are you here for? I hope I’m not keeping you from your business.” 

Hokuto shook his head. “Just walking down the memory lane. I haven’t been back here since we moved to Tokyo.”

Coach agreed. “Ah, your old band was here a couple of years back for the school festival. What are they called now? Ellipses?”

“Eclipse,” said Hokuto with a smile. The guys told him they saw an eclipse during their AGT audition, but Hokuto later learned it wasn’t an eclipse, but a phenomenon called “Manhattanhenge”.

“Eclipse. It was a mayhem,” the coach added, his face reeling in horror from the memory. “They were good kids, but their fans' really tested the monks' patience that they had to do takigyo after.”

Hokuto chuckled. “They invited me to attend the festival, but I had a prior commitment.”

“Oh, so you guys are good? Still friends?”

“Yes, we’re all still friends.” He took out his phone and showed his former coach a backstage shot from Eclipse’s New Year’s Eve concert. 

“Good. Good. I thought you guys weren’t okay, because you didn’t join their AGT audition.”

Hokuto sighed at another bittersweet high school memory. “I lost my passport on the day of our flight to New York and I told them to just go. We had tickets and all, it'd be such a waste if they didn’t push through.” 

That moment also felt like when he tore his knee. It was as though everything else wasn't in his favor.

"Then, the next day, I received the news that the university I had as my top choice had accepted my application. So, it was okay I didn’t go with them, because I promised my dad I’ll stop being in the band if I got accepted at my first choice.”

“Because Kami-sama has other plans for you,” the coach said and refilled his cup with tea.

“I guess. I really struggled back then. I felt like everything I do, it would end as failure.”

“Acting suited you.”

“No one is more surprised than I. It was a path I never thought I would take, but somehow, it became the right fit for me.”

“Life surprises us when we least expect it, which reminds me, are you the only Hokuto in your batch?”

Hokuto frowned, ruminating. “I think we were…two? Why?”

“Wait here.” 

His former coach went back to the locker room, while Hokuto finished his tea, noting he had enough caffeine for the day. When the coach returned, he was holding what looked like a silver egg. 

"I think this is meant for you," said the coach as he handed him a silver egg. 

“What’s this?”

“I’m assuming it’s a time capsule.”

“Time capsule?”

The coach nodded, his eyes twinkled with malice. “I think your singing caught someone’s heart over our neighbor.” 

His heart started racing, while his brain also raced in making unrealistic expectations. “This came from that school?”

“They did some landscape renovations, found that, and their headmistress passed that on to our principal, who then passed it on to me. If you open that, you’ll see why.” 

Before Hokuto could reply, the bell rang, and the collective sigh and groan of students reached him. 

“Lunch break. Do you want to come to lunch with me?”

“Thank you, coach, but I need to go as well,” he said, holding the egg carefully as though it might break. 

“Okay, but let’s take the selfie first.”

***

Taiga felt a burden lift from his chest when he told the whole truth to Juri. It didn’t matter if Juri looked like he only believed 5% of what he said, while 95% had Juri believing he’d been losing his mind. Talking about what felt like something he carried for the past century could ease some of his burden when writing about it wasn’t that helpful. 

He wrote “The One That Got Away” when Hokuto admitted he was seeing Alice. Writing had been his solace, even though he knew his broken heart would never heal. But he still wrote their story and hoped that despite the never-ending pain, he could console himself that in a different lifetime, Hokuto loved him and Taiga could call him “mine”.

“Hokuto was right in one thing though. I could never be happy knowing that in the end, I still lost him.”

“Ah, it’s Matsumura Hokuto’s stalker.” 

Taiga whirled around before realizing that the police officer was referring to him. He turned back and suppressed throwing a fit. “Officer, have you caught the stalker yet?”

Aoshima looked so fed up from answering his question, which didn’t make sense because this was only the 5th day Taiga had been back. “There had been no reports from the apartment yet. Why don’t you ask them if the stalker has shown up?”

“I already did,” he admitted and sat in front of the officer’s desk. "Uhm, they told me they had submitted all the photographs and CCTVs where the stalker was caught to you."

From looking chagrined, Aoshima eyed Taiga suspiciously. “And why are you asking that?” 

Taiga remained smiling. “Can you show it to me? Or better yet, give me a copy?”

Aoshima scoffed. “Dream on.” 

He sighed, his palms turned sweaty as he bargained, “I saw in the news last night that an old shack just outside of Tokyo was burned to the ground. The said shack is believed to be where a suspect had been quietly murdering until one of his victims managed to escape.”

“What about that?” Aoshima looked as nervous as him at the moment. His palms were probably sweaty too. 

“I think I know the killer.”

***

Hokuto arrived home feeling he had more questions than answers. He turned off the airplane mode on his phone and finally cracked the egg. Inside the egg was what he could only describe as trash. There were lots of shiny pebbles one usually sees on bonsai beds, a half-finished cigarette, a braided friendship bracelet with letter beads that says, ‘I💗M’, and an admissions ticket. He recognized it as the ticket given to everyone who attended Beitou’s founding anniversary. “The Truants” was printed just below the main performers of the night, an owarai combi. 

“They wasted this egg for this? How is this supposed to be for me?” He turned the ticket and on the back was what looked like a poem. It was written so small to fit everything else. On top read, “To Hokuto” and underneath is a single character, “ 雨”.

“Ame, huh?”

He started reading the stanzas and, based on the repetition of words, he thinks it’s not a poem but a song. 

“ Ame nogare nogare nogarete

Dokomademo dokomademo dokomademo hisomi

Ai nogare nogare nogarete

Tadoritsuita no wa naze onaji chiten

 

Hitori tada tatazumu amayadori no yoru ni

Kasa o hitori sashitemo ooki sugirunda

Sou ieba ima made zubunure ni nattemo

Kimi ga nugutte kureteita

 

Ame nogaretemo

Kasa no naka kimi inai no nara

Ai sogare sogare sogare

Sora mo ukabarenai yo

Hane mogaretemo

Te no todokanai basho made mo

Kimi kogare kogare kogare kogarete

Tobu no sa

 

Where are you…？　I miss you…

You know what I mean…”

 

His fingers trembled as picked-up the purple iPhone and went to Twitter. He placed the phone and the ticket side-by-side. 

[Twitter]

 

@Hokutosrunner33

Don’t give up, you once wrote a song called 雨 and it was lovely

 

QRT

 

@MHokutoOfficial

My 5 mins screenplay bombed. I guess screenwriting and composing aren’t for me.

 

[/Twitter]

 

“I wrote a song called Ame? Me? Did Hokutosrunner33 go to Beitou?” He spotted something white from beneath the pebbles, and as he picked it up, more questions popped into his head while his heart beat wildly.

It was a 2x3 magnetic polaroid. Hokuto recalled a photo booth at the festival that gave these Polaroid fridge magnets for free. The photo he was holding now might have faded. It looked almost retro, but he couldn’t be wrong. 

There were three men in the photo and these men were all he recently met; Shintaro, Juri, and Taiga. 

 

 

[Twitter]

 

@Hokutosrunner33

It did make your dream come true once

 

QRT

 

@MHokutoOfficial

Do dreams really come true in New York? 🗽

 

[/Twitter]

“So, do you have a handcuff kink?”

Taiga cupped his cheeks. They were still warm from embarrassment when Hokuto arrived to “pick him up”. He glanced back, and his face warmed more upon seeing Hokuto’s smug face. 

“Why would I have that kind of kink?”

Hokuto merely shrugged, but his face said it all, he found everything so amusing. “Because you seemed to enjoy the last time you were here, so you went back?”

He scoffed and changed the topic. “What kind of actor gives away his number to just anyone?” He asked aggressively to hide his mortification. He knew he might have been a bit overbearing to the police, but did they really have to call Hokuto? Did Taiga ever give them the impression that they were together and the type to bail each other out? 

“I didn’t just give it to anyone. I gave it to the police.”

“So, are you just going to come if they call?” 

“Are you angry right now?” He asked, frowning. “I should be the one pissed here because my precious time was wasted fetching someone who’s making a ruckus at a police station. If it wasn’t a kink, what are you here for?” 

Taiga hesitated to answer. What would he say? He was there to give the police a tip-off to some psychopath who almost murdered him in the past? By past, he meant a different timeline. 

“None of your business.” He whirled around to leave, but Hokuto still caught up to him and gripped his arm tight. 

“It is now,” said Hokuto, gripping his arm tight. “Also, I told Shunsuke-san I’ll send you home, so you’re coming with me.” 

“Shunsuke-san?” He repeated, astounded. “You’re even on a first-name basis with him?” 

Hokuto had the audacity to wink and pulled him with him. When Taiga saw that same police officer casually watching them on the steps, he decided to give him a middle finger.

“Are you out of your mind?” Hokuto gasped and yanked him to his car. “Do you really want to spend the night there?” 

Taiga huffed, still irritated. He didn’t expect the police to believe him outright, but he didn’t think they would treat him like a lunatic. Worse, they had to call Hokuto and he still couldn’t move on from this. 

“On second thought, I think it's good you have someone directly in the police on your phone,” he said after a while, “So make sure they're on your speed dial for emergency purposes.”

Hokuto smiled, almost cynically, as he drove. “You seemed very concerned with my welfare. First, the taxi. Second, those T&Cs for the script, and now, a police officer, is on my speed dial. Why don’t you just move in at my place so you can watch over me?”

Hokuto’s joke made his heart race. If Hokuto only knew how much he would have desired to watch him 24/7 and ensure that the fate he suffered in the past would not repeat itself.

“You must be out of your mind.” He averted his gaze and concentrated on the side of the road. The breathtaking autumn foliage wasn’t enough to cool his already red face, and even though Hokuto was driving, Taiga could feel his eyes on him. 

However, Hokuto wasn’t done and continued to tease him. “Don’t worry, my dad is pretty open-minded. He didn’t even mind when he walked in on us kissing.”

Taiga’s neck almost snapped when he turned. “Kissing? Us? What are you talking about?” He asked incredulously.

Hokuto looked genuinely offended. “Oh, so you’re that kind of person? Feigning ignorance, huh? Suddenly suffering an amnesia?”

Taiga scoffed. “Look – awww...” The car brakes abruptly, and he thinks the seatbelt must have left a mark on his skin. 

“Sorry, that car just stopped.” He yanked his horn hard and asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, massaging his chest, and in that split second, the memory he thought was nothing but a dream came in crashing clarity.

“Are you sure?” asked Hokuto with worry, his face inches away from him. “You turned pale.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted and his eyes have a mind of its own as it just locked in on Hokuto’s pale lips. Not only did he kiss Hokuto, but he initiated it. He hogged Hokuto like a depraved man. And his dad saw them kissing?! No wonder Hokuto’s old man insisted on waiting for his son so they could talk.

Hokuto didn't miss where he focused his eyes and whispered, "Do you remember it now?" 

He sneered, proud of his acting. “I don’t remember stuff that never happened.”

Hokuto argued. “Shall we stop by my dad’s restaurant to ask him?”

“Are you crazy?” He snapped. 

Hokuto smirked, crossing his arms on his chest, and said in a small cutesy voice, “Seems like you remember very clearly how you took advantage of me.” 

He shut his eyes and cursed silently. He could feel the car moving again and he’d rather die than forced into admission. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just think it’s too immature to involve your father.” 

“How considerate of you,” said Hokuto, brimming with sarcasm. 

"Besides…a-assuming I kissed you, shouldn't you have pushed me away? Isn't that the default when kissed by someone you don't even like?"

"Well….” Hokuto stalled. The flush on Taiga’s face might have transferred to him as he admitted, “The kiss wasn’t that bad. Besides, I also think I like you?"

A stampede broke on his chest as all his bravado disappeared just from hearing those words, "I like you" . Taiga felt like he was back at that wrinkle in time when Hokuto first confessed to him. He felt like his world stopped, just as flowers started blooming.

"Did that make your heart flutter?" teased Hokuto. His face was only inches away from his that he could see all his moles.

"I was so disgusted I have to shut my mouth, or I might throw up," he quipped while both of his hands remained clenched.

Hokuto didn't seem offended, he even looked challenged to prove him wrong. Taiga realized that their surroundings had become dark. He pushed Hokuto away and only noticed they were no longer on the road but in some underground parking.

"Where are we?"

"Hotel."

"Hotel?!" The stampede on his chest doubled and the look on his face made Hokuto almost break into hysterics. 

"I hate to disappoint you, but we’ll just be attending a birthday party and you'll be my date."

Taiga scoffed. "Date? Was that agreed upon?"

"Do you want to go back to the police? The only reason they didn't send you to a mental hospital was because of me."

He smiled reluctantly instead. "I don't say no to free meals.”

***

Hokuto brought Taiga with him for two things; first was to simply annoy him, and second was he wanted to check something. 

It was Hiro's birthday, aka the lead singer of Eclipse, and to whom Hokuto remained friends, along with his former bandmates. Hiro's “intimate affair” turned-out to be a huge birthday bash with around 200 in attendance. He really wanted to turn back, until someone spotted him and before long, women fawning over him surrounded him.

"Is this intimate to you?" He asked Hiro through clenched teeth.

"I have no idea what happened," said Hiro, even though he was obviously enjoying the attention.

When Hokuto extracted himself from the crowd, he found Taiga fawned over by two of his former bandmates, Kinu and Tada, both of which looked bewitched while they spoke with Taiga.

Hokuto loudly cleared his throat as he approached them and he was sure Taiga's face was beamish.

"Enjoying yourself?" His question was only directed to Taiga, but it was Tada who answered.

"Of course, our high school crush is here."

"Stop that," giggled Taiga, which irked Hokuto.

"High school crush?" He clarified, still irritated.

"Yeah," said Kinu, "He's way prettier than all the girls from Beitou."

He raised an eyebrow. Not that he doubted his father’s memory, but that just validated that Taiga went to Beitou.

"Excuse me," said Taiga, "I'm getting another drink."

"I'll go with you!" Tada volunteered, his face resembling a love-struck high school student as he followed Taiga. And Hokuto swore, Tada was hopping. 

“Did you arrive with Taiga?” Kinu asked. “How did that happen?” Hokuto paused at Kinu's familiarity with Taiga that he could call him by his first name. 

“Work,” he simply said. “How about you and Tada?”

“Hiro knows him, too! We used to go to their shop to rent concert DVDs. Didn’t you live across from him?”

“So I’ve been told, but I never saw him,” he muttered to himself, before adding to answer Kinu’s question, “Yeah, but I never really knew him personally.”

Kinu nodded as though he understood. “Understandable. Taiga and you were quite an introvert. I didn’t think we would run Taiga here. We were even on the cover of Houjin twice but we never saw him, and I think the last I saw was Taiga was on the day of our flight to New York for AGT auditions.”

An eerie tempo vibrated in his chest. “Really? The one where I lost my passport?”

“That one! He said his parents and he was off to Hawaii and saw us to wish us luck – which was an odd thing to say because we never told anyone we would audition.”

“Yeah…odd,” he mumbled as his brain started churning assumptions that might drive him mad.

Taiga and Tada arrived, but instead of drinks, both were holding chocolate deserts in a wine glass. Taiga handed him a glass and reluctance must have shown on his face.

“Why are you looking at it as though I’m handing you poison?”

Hokuto took the dessert and asked, “Why are you everywhere now when you were nowhere to be seen before?”

Taiga frowned. “What are you talking about?” He took a spoonful of creamy dessert and fireworks erupted from his eyes. “This is good!” He exclaimed, spoon still in his mouth.

“Hiro knows the best caterers,” agreed Kinu as he finished his dessert glass.

Hokuto nodded and had some dessert. It tasted good, but he was too busy thinking about Taiga to appreciate the flavors. Walking down the memory lane did more harm than good.

"Oh, Hokuto!" He thought the dessert would back up his throat seeing his ex-girlfriend. Alice looked great, as though being with him also did her more harm than good.

“I dropped by to say hi and give my gift.” She turned to look at their audience and exchanged hellos with Kinu and Tada, and to his Hokuto's surprise, she also knew Taiga.

"Kyomoto-kun? Didn’t expect to see you here.” 

Taiga slightly flushed and nodded.

"She also knew Taiga? For how long?"

“Anyway, that's all I came here for — see you around.”

“Uhm, can we talk for a bit? I just have something to ask," said Hokuto, looking wary.

Alice hesitated, but eventually relented. “Sure, we can talk while you walk me back to my car.”

***

"I thought they'd broken up. What did they talk about?" Taiga mentally shook his head. It was none of his business, whatever Alice and Hokuto talked about. And it’s not like exes can’t speak to each other. He had more pressing matters to think about, but he couldn't shake off that feeling that something huge transpired from their talk. Hokuto became broody and a few minutes later, he bid the birthday boy goodbye. 

The ride back to Taiga’s apartment had been awkwardly silent and Taiga had to purse his lips, or he might say something he couldn't take back. And he could only let out a sigh of relief when he saw his apartment, the unease would soon be over.

“Thank you!” He quickly unbuckled his seatbelt before Hokuto could even stop his car. He stole a glance at Hokuto before he rushed his way out, but Hokuto wasn't even paying attention to him. He was looking at a distance, and seemingly lost in his thoughts. Taiga sighed, opened the door, and closed it with a thud that broke Hokuto’s trance. He appeared surprised to see they had arrived at his place. It was a miracle they didn't get into any accident.

"What's wrong?" asked Taiga, clenching his hand to a fist as he couldn't believe he gave in to his weakness. Hokuto has been his biggest weakness, and when Hokuto looked morosely toward him, his eyes were a pool of questions, confusion, and even a bit of anger.

“Why...why do I feel like I've missed you all my life?” Hokuto's question hit him hard and he had to pinch his thigh. He had to inflict pain, or all his defenses might crumble.

“I don't think I understand,” he whispered.

“I also don't understand why I feel this way toward you. Everyone I know has known you before I even met you. It feels like -- like you've been trying to avoid me all your life.”

“That's impossible. Why would I even do that?” He said, cringing inside that he became a gaslighter.

“Yeah. Why would you? What did I even do to you?” asked Hokuto, harrow evident in his tone, and Taiga could only swallow his reply. If only Hokuto knew how much he had done for him, and this was his way of paying him back.

“Remember, you told me to leave you alone, you told me to just think about myself and all.”

“What about it?”

“ Fine .” One word. Just one word. And even though that was what Taiga would have wanted, it still crushed him. 

“I’ll stop being curious about you. I'll drop everything. And I'm going to be selfish by not following everything you asked of me.”

“Hokuto that's --” He said, alarmed.

"Why, Taiga?" His breath caught as he heard Hokuto say his name for the first time in a very long time.

“We mean nothing to each other, and I don't think you honestly want to answer all my questions.”

“Okay. Fine ,” he said, but not with the same gravity as Hokuto’s. He went down with a heavy heart and he could only listen to the distant roar of the engines as he walked back to his apartment. He repeatedly convinced himself that he got what he wanted. Hokuto would be safer without him. But his knees buckled as soon as he closed his door, and hot tears flowed like regret, because no matter how different their circumstances were, he would always be the one to suffer the heartbreak.

***

"I assume you've met Kyomoto at Panache?"

Alice nodded. "Is that what you want to ask me?"

He nodded with reluctance. "We got to know each other in Panache, right? But ‌I never met Kyomoto."

Alice scowled. She seemed to be in deep thought.

"Would you believe we used to be neighbors at Kawaguchi?" He added.

"Perhaps something happened between the two of you?"

"How can something happen between us when I've never met him until lately?"

Alice remained scowling and said, "I might have overheard incorrectly, but remember when you were still their BND model for Jouhin?"

"What about it?"

"I think they were arguing because Miranda wanted to keep on using you past 28 years old, but Taiga said that it would be unfair to previous BND models who were replaced once they reached 28. Although he has a point, he said something that looking back at it now, it sounded so…aggressive."

"What did he say?"

"Why were you picked in the first place? You weren't even that big of a star."

He slowed down the speed of his treadmill. He is as irritated as before he even started working-out. He wasn't pissed because Taiga didn't think he was a big star, but because Taiga had been avoiding him like the plague from the very beginning. Just like how he avoided Miranda upon learning they were neighbors, Taiga has also been avoiding him since the world began. 

Everything made sense now. He never crossed paths with Taiga, he never met Taiga even when they were neighbors at school and at home, and he never met Taiga even though he worked with Panache magazines more than a dozen times. What Miranda told him about Taiga “hiding in plain sight” also made sense. He also worked with Panache’s sister companies, but he also never met Taiga. And although he hasn’t asked Kochi yet, he could only assume that Taiga could get his schedule from Kochi so Taiga could avoid him. If it weren't for that fucking script, their paths would never have crossed, yet even then, Taiga still tried to elude him. 

“What did I do so wrongly? I’m sure I’m not ugly,” He thought as he checked his reflection in the window before he smelled his sweaty pits. “I always smell good. Is there a prophecy about us? Will he turn into a frog or something? Is he or I going to combust?”

If Taiga didn't want him, he didn't want him either. He was never the type who begged for someone’s attention. He might be madly curious, but wouldn’t waste a single brain cell to even think about Taiga.

“Fuck, I'm still pissed! Who does he think he is? He thinks he's that special?!”

He headed straight for the showers and compelled himself to remain under the cold water to actually relieve the steam. When his toes and fingers shrivelled like a prune, he stepped out and immediately noticed that the clothes he left on the bench by the locker area had been missing.

“What the --?” His locker keys were safe around his wrist until he heard some giggling and shutter sounds. He tiptoed and followed the source of the sound to the corner, and in the small space was a woman in a white puffer hoodie.

“You?!” He didn't get to finish what he wanted to say as someone hit him from behind. His world turned, before he fell. 

***

“But I’m really not the stalker!” 

“Then why are you taking pictures of Matsumura-san’s clothes inside a men’s locker room?” asked Shunsuke. 

“I’m really just a fan, and my boyfriend got me inside.”

The said boyfriend again knelt in front of Hokuto and begged, “This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have used my job to let my girlfriend in, and she’s not a stalker! I swear! This is the first time we have done this! Also, I’m sorry that I hit you, I thought you'd hit my girlfriend first.”

“Do I look like I hit women?” He asked, insulted at his gym’s receptionist. He massaged the back of his head. It continued to throb, and he probably had to have it checked after his jaunt at the police station for the 2nd time in one day. Today wasn’t really his day. He should have stayed home right at the beginning when he got the call from Shunsuke if he could fetch Taiga. 

His girlfriend also knelt down. “I’ll reset my phone this instant.”

“No!” Her boyfriend stops her. “That phone is full of our memories!”

“But we need to prove our loyalty to Matsumura-sama!”

“But –”

“Shut up! Both of you, go back to your seats!” Shunsuke yelled, which Hokuto thought was so out of character of him. “Are you filming a drama here?” He glanced as though asking for permission from Hokuto and he just nodded. 

Shunsuke placed two papers and pen in front of the couple, and ordered, “Write a statement that you’ll stay away at least 100m from Matsumura-san–”

“Does that include FC events?” the girlfriend asked, looking worried.

“It includes all his life events,” the officer replied sarcastically. 

“But I already paid the annual fee!” She protested, still not seeing the gravity of what she and her boyfriend did. 

Hokuto didn’t want to admit it, but he now sees Taiga’s reasoning on why he should treat his stalker issue seriously. They really don’t care about their oshis as long as they satisfy their whims.

Rising from his seat, he declared, “I will refund your annual fee. However, if you refuse to write that statement, I will press charges against your boyfriend for assault. Furthermore, I will see to it that he is blacklisted from all gyms in Japan, and I will obtain a restraining order against you.”

Her face paled. It looked like she still had some love for her boyfriend as she started writing her statement. Hokuto excused himself. His head continued to throb, and the pain seemed to vibrate up to his eyes. He took out his phone to call Jesse, but it just fell from his grasp until someone picked it up for him. And he had to shake his already pounding head mildly, his eyes might be playing tricks on him since he's seeing Taiga.

“Uhm, t-the officer called me here,” he said, looking wary as he returned his phone. “Are you okay?” He asked, holding his arm. 

He swatted Taiga’s hand away. “What is it to you?” He asked bitterly before walking-away. 

He finds himself staggering while he tries to focus to search for his car. His eyesight blurred, and he could only blinked his eyes furiously as he walked farther from the police station. He saw a taxi just stopped at the road ahead of him. He raised his hand to call the drivers attention, because he didn’t think he could drive at the moment. He didn’t even think he was walking properly, he kept on swaying as though he was drunk. 

“Hokuto!” 

He paused upon hearing Taiga’s almost hysterical shouts. His surroundings started swirling, while another voice rang in his head. 

“Taiga!”

He felt like his head was being squeezed. The voice he heard was definitely his. Was he unconsciously calling Taiga? He glanced back and saw Taiga running toward him. But another memory was trying to squeeze in – a memory of him running and calling for Taiga’s name. 

“Hokuto!” called Taiga.

“Taiga!”

His ears rang just as unbearable pressure almost split his skull open. He had no idea what was happening, everything felt unreal, his mind is a mess, and –

“Hokuto!” Taiga cupped his face, his face marred with worry. “Are you okay?”

“Taiga, are you okay?”

“What was that?” He murmured, before he lost consciousness for the second time that day.