We Never Know

Taiga couldn't pinpoint exactly when things between him and Hokuto had started to feel off. 

Sure, they had always been more or less awkward. Distant yet still manageable. From the beginning, there had been some discomfort whenever they were left alone together. 

It wasn't hostile, not even close. Just a silent mutual understanding that they would never be as naturally close as, for example, Taiga was with Shintaro or Hokuto with Juri. They'd kept their polite distance without talking about it, accepted it, and moved on. There had been no reason to change that. There was never any need to fix what wasn't exactly broken.

But lately, something had changed. 

It wasn't that they were naturally drifting apart. How could they when they'd never really been close in the first place? There had been no fight or an argument, nothing like that. Just some kind of a change towards something more uncomfortable that Taiga couldn't explain.

At first, it had been easy to ignore. For example, Hokuto leaving the room immediately when Taiga walked in. Sure, Taiga had found it strange, but it had been easy to brush it off, thinking that maybe it had just been bad timing. 

Then, there had been the day when they'd all sat down for dinner, and Hokuto had stood up to grab something from the other side of the table. He hadn't even looked at Taiga when he'd come back to sit as far away from him as possible. Even then, Taiga hadn't stayed on the thought too long, thinking it had been just a coincidence and Hokuto hadn't meant anything bad about that gesture.

But then it had got more obvious when Taiga had offered to help Hokuto clean their gun pipes. Hokuto had waved him off with a tight-lipped smile, saying tightly, "No need, I've got it," before walking away so quickly it had felt like he couldn't stand being in the same space with Taiga for another second. The incident had stayed in Taiga's mind for the rest of the day.

Last week had finally been the worst. The two of them had been assigned to watch duty together, stationed at the edge of camp while FEDRA had been rumored to be nearby. Usually, the task would have been a regular routine—even quite boring. But that night, the atmosphere between them had felt different, even more suffocating if possible. They had stayed silent from the moment they had left for the watch place. First, Hokuto had walked safely, maybe two meters ahead of Taiga so that they could avoid chitchatting on their way. When they had finally reached the watchpoint, Hokuto had suggested they sit back-to-back so they could "keep an eye on all directions". It had been a strange suggestion, there was no real threat from the other side of camp. Infected or soldiers would never strike from that direction.

Still, Taiga hadn't started arguing. He had just nodded and sat as Hokuto suggested, too tired of the tension to push back. The silence between them had only deepened as they sat, their backs barely touching, both of them too aware of each other's presence.

At some point, Taiga had tried to break the silence with a throwaway comment about the weather, something safe and neutral, just to fill the void. He had carefully turned his head to look at Hokuto's direction. But Hokuto's response had been barely more than a short grunt, followed by a nod without even turning his head. After that, the painful silence had descended between them again.

In the end, Taiga had found himself more preoccupied with wondering what was going on between them than with keeping watch for potential threats on the horizon.

Since then, Taiga had decided to avoid Hokuto as much as possible. If his presence made Hokuto feel that uncomfortable, it would probably be best if Taiga disturbed him as little as possible with his existence.

Today was no different. The others had gone out to check the traps they'd set for infected, leaving Taiga and Hokuto alone at camp. Thanks to Taiga's bad luck, he and Hokuto had lost the rock paper scissors game, and now they were stuck together for at least an hour, just the two of them. 

Looking at weeks back, that result wouldn't have bothered Taiga. As said, their group was more than used to splitting up for tasks like that. But now, with the mission of avoiding Hokuto at all costs, Taiga would have instead been anywhere else. Even running away from the infected would have sounded more appealing. 

The worst part was that there wasn't even anything to do to distract themselves. They'd already cleaned the cabin and fed the horses. It was too early to start preparing dinner, and the gloomy, foggy weather with hail had driven them inside. If it had been nicer out, Taiga would have gladly volunteered to do some work in the yard; at least there, he could've kept some physical distance from Hokuto. But instead, he was trapped indoors with Hokuto. Or maybe, from Hokuto's point of view, he was trapped with Taiga.

Hokuto sat across the room, quietly reading a book. Taiga glanced at him, but Hokuto's face gave nothing away. He looked like the same Hokuto as always. Calm, detached, unreadable. It was almost infuriating how normal Hokuto seemed, while Taiga was practically unraveling from the awkwardness between them.

Taiga's mind was spinning. Should he actually try to talk to Hokuto now that he would have a chance for that? But what would he even say? It wasn't like he wanted to have some emotional heart-to-heart. Hell, he didn't even know what he would have wanted to happen. Just something. Anything that could clear the air between them. Maybe if they could talk, things could go back to the way they used to be—awkward but tolerable.

Taiga's mind churned with thoughts. The longer they sat there in the same room, the more the urge to say something grew. 

But before Taiga had a chance, Hokuto actually spoke first.

"Hey," Hokuto suddenly said, without looking up from his book. 

Taiga nearly jumped at that. For a moment, he wasn't even sure Hokuto had actually spoken to him. They were the only ones in the room, though, so it had to be him.

"Uh, hey," Taiga replied, his voice coming out a little too high-pitched and sharp for his liking. He cringed inwardly at that.

Hokuto, however, seemed unfazed. He slowly lifted his eyes from the page, meeting Taiga's gaze. There was something in his expression. Something Taiga couldn't read at all.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Honestly, with every second passing, Taiga became more and more scared of what was about to come. 

Then, Hokuto set his book aside and folded his hands on his lap. "Are you, um… are you okay?" he asked gently.

Taiga blinked.

"Me? Yeah, totally fine," Taiga lied quickly. He tried to smile, but it felt wrong on his face, too tight. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Hokuto shrugged. "You've been acting weird lately."

"Weird? How?"

"I don't know, just weird," Hokuto said, frowning slightly. "Like you're avoiding me or something."

Taiga uttered a dry laugh. "I'm not avoiding you," he said defensively, though immediately as the words left his mouth, he could feel the big lie weighing on them. Of course he'd been avoiding Hokuto like the plague the past week, making sure to miss every chance of being alone with him like they were now. It would have been a miracle if Hokuto wouldn't have noticed that.

Taiga sighed. 

"Okay, maybe I have been avoiding you," he admitted. "But honestly, I thought that's what you've wanted."

The tone of his own voice surprised him. It was bitter, sharp, and much more vulnerable than he had intended. It sounded like he was accusing Hokuto.

Hokuto raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean, you barely talk to me unless it's something about our chores. And when you do talk to me, it's like-" 

Taiga's sentence died in the middle since he was not sure how to finish it. Like what? What was he even trying to say?

"Like what?" Hokuto prompted for him.

"Like you don't..." Taiga hesitated, feeling the words catching in his throat. 

It took a while before he could let them come out. 

"Like- you don't even like me."

The silence that followed was painful. Taiga immediately regretted saying that, wishing he could take the words back because he knew this talk wouldn't lead anywhere. But it was too late. Hokuto was staring at him, and once again, Taiga couldn't read his expression at all. Was he angry? Confused? Maybe even hurt?

Finally, Hokuto sighed. 

"Kyomoto, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Forget it," Taiga said quickly, waving his hand as if that could erase the whole conversation. "It's nothing. I know I'm just being stupid."

But Hokuto didn't let it go. "No, it's not nothing. You've been avoiding me because you think I don't like you?"

Taiga shrugged.

"Kyomoto," Hokuto continued carefully, "I seriously don't get why you'd think that. I mean, if I've done something to make you feel that way, just tell me."

Taiga hesitated. He felt a knot of frustration in his chest. He kind of wanted to explain more about that feeling to Hokuto. But how could he possibly unravel weeks of unspoken tension in a single conversation, just like that, out of nowhere? 

"It's not about something you did. It's more like... I don't know, it feels like there's this wall between us, and I don't see it with you and the others," Taiga mumbled.

Taiga indeed couldn't help but think about Hokuto's relaxed interactions with others and he kind of wanted to bring them up. How easily Hokuto always slipped into long conversations with Shintaro, how loudly he laughed with Jesse, how smoothly he could invite Juri to accompany him to the townlet, how effortlessly he could ask Kochi to help him with any task. 

Taiga remembered the campfire one afternoon, where Hokuto had been all lively and laughing with Juri and Shintaro. Hokuto had seemed so warm, so different from the distant version of himself that Taiga always seemed to get. Taiga had watched them from a safe distance, feeling a mix of admiration and exclusion. He had sent them a long look before uttering a sigh and entering the warehouse.

Or the time Hokuto and Jesse had come back from scavenging, having found an old box of board games. They'd spent hours playing, and their loud laughter had rung around the camp. Taiga had been busy with other tasks, but he'd heard it, how relaxed and carefree Hokuto had been. 

That side seemed to be reserved for everyone else but Taiga.

It wasn't jealousy. At least not in the way Taiga understood jealousy. It wasn't that Hokuto's friendliness with others took anything from Taiga. It was more the frustration of seeing Hokuto connect so easily with others while Taiga was feeling locked out of all that. That contrast hurt more than he wanted to admit. Because it honestly made him feel like he was the problem, although logically thinking there were always two in a relationship, so he couldn't be the only one to be blamed. 

Then, out of nowhere, Hokuto blurted it out. 

"Maybe we should just sleep together."

Taiga's brain short-circuited. "Wh-what?"

Hokuto's face flushed. "I mean, it might make things less awkward. Get it out of our system, you know?"

Taiga's mind went blank. Was Hokuto serious? Was this some kind of joke? But Hokuto's flushed cheeks and the seriousness in his eyes told him it wasn't. He wasn't joking at all. He looked both sincere and a little bit embarrassed.

"Are you… are you saying we have a problem because we haven't had sex?" Taiga asked slowly, still dumbfounded.

"I'm just saying maybe it would help. It's just that we've had this weird tension between us for a while now. And honestly, it's been driving me crazy, and I've been able to tell it's also been bothering you. It's like we're always dancing around something, and I don't even know what it is."

Hokuto pursed his lips, but he wasn't finished yet.

"And besides, we're all stuck here, right? We all have our needs, and well--" his sentence trailed off again in the middle, but after a small pause, he forced himself to continue, "you're not exactly hard to look at, Kyomoto."

Taiga stared at him, still trying to process those words. Hokuto was the last person he thought would ever suggest something like that. 

"So, you think if we sleep together, it'll just fix everything?" Taiga asked slowly.

"I don't know if it'll fix anything," Hokuto said, looking back at him. "But maybe it would take away some of the tension. Like pulling out a plug, releasing pressure, something like that, you know? Because right now, it's like we're going in circles, avoiding each other and being awkward, although we don't even understand why. Maybe if we'd just... deal with it, we wouldn't feel so weird around each other anymore."

The discussion was absolutely insane. Although it wasn't like Taiga hadn't thought of those things before. The idea of being close to someone - even if it was someone he wasn't entirely comfortable with - was actually thrilling and something he had been secretly craving. And Hokuto was surely attractive, that was easy to say, and in moments of loneliness, the thought had crossed Taiga's mind more than once. But still, to actually do it with Hokuto? And most of all, to treat sex like some kind of solution to their awkwardness?

"Sorry," Hokuto groaned suddenly as Taiga remained silent. "I don't even know why I suggested that. Just forget it."

But Taiga couldn't just forget it. Not now when the mental image was already stuck in his head. 

Maybe Hokuto was right. Maybe there was some kind of weird logic behind his suggestion. Maybe it would help. Or maybe it would make things even worse. Either way, it was the first real conversation they'd had in weeks, and it felt like a solution had been thrown into the air. That alone was something. Besides, Taiga mused with a half-amused snort, he wasn't sure things could get much worse than they already were. Sleeping together wouldn't harm their fragile and awkward relationship for sure.

Taiga took a deep breath. 

"Okay," he then let out.

Hokuto raised his head. "Okay?"

"Yeah," Taiga said, even though his stomach was doing somersaults. "Let's do it."

The silence sank between them. Neither of them moved, and the awkwardness was so thick one could cut it with a knife. Taiga's heart pounded in his chest, half-expecting Hokuto to start laughing at any second and saying he had been just kidding.

But Hokuto didn't laugh. He didn't say anything. Instead, he simply nodded. 

"Sure."

"So, it's a deal?"

"Deal."

It was the most awkward agreement they'd ever made, and both of them felt it. The tension lingered, almost heavier than before. But strangely, for the first time in weeks, Taiga felt like they were finally facing the weirdness between them, instead of pretending it wasn't there.

And somehow, that felt like progress.

-----

The days following their conversation passed in a blur. After three days, Taiga wondered if Hokuto had already forgotten their strange deal. Hokuto hadn't made any moves to act on it, and Taiga wasn't exactly eager to be the one to bring it up either. Perhaps they were both waiting for the right moment or maybe they were just too afraid of what might happen if they did. Either way, things had remained pretty much the same.

On Thursday morning, after finishing their morning chores, Shintaro came running into the common area with an excited look on his face.

"Hey, I just saw something interesting!" he announced, drawing everyone's attention. "There was a light at the old TV tower. It could be a signal or something. We should check it out."

The group quickly fell into discussion immediately, weighing the potential risks and benefits of investigating the signal. The general consensus was that it was definitely worth exploring. But then Kochi, always the practical thinker, made a crucial point.

"We need someone to stay here and guard the shelter. Any volunteers?"

The room fell silent as everyone glanced around, clearly unwilling to be the one left behind. 

Eventually, Taiga took a deep breath and raised his hand.

"I'll stay," Taiga said, trying to sound casual. "Hokuto can stay here with me. We can handle it."

Kochi, Juri, Jesse, and Shintaro, looked slightly surprised. It was unusual for Taiga and Hokuto to volunteer for a task together, but no one else was willing to step up, so they simply shrugged it off and accepted it.

Taiga's eyes flicked to Hokuto, who met his gaze with an unreadable expression. Until Hokuto gave a subtle nod in acknowledgment.

Later that afternoon, Taiga found himself heading toward the stable under the pretense of checking on the horses. Really, he was hoping for a chance to talk to Hokuto about their deal. As expected, Hokuto was there, brushing down one of the horses, looking deep in thought.

"Hey," Taiga said, approaching cautiously.

Hokuto looked up from his task, offering a small, slightly awkward smile. "Hey."

Taiga glanced around at the stable, trying to look casual. "So, uh… later today?"

Hokuto's eyebrows lifted slightly, but his expression remained serious. "Yeah, later today." He didn't elaborate, which suggested he was perfectly aware of what Taiga meant.

"Right. Just checking."

There was an uncomfortable pause. Taiga fidgeted with the hem of his jacket, trying to find something to focus on so that he didn't have to look at Hokuto.

"So, um, should we just meet in the bedroom upstairs?" Taiga eventually ventured.

Hokuto's face flushed slightly, and he shifted his weight from one foot to another. It was a telltale sign of how awkward this really was for both of them. 

"Yeah, that sounds good. We can do that," he said.

Taiga forced a tight smile. The whole situation felt too surreal.

"Well, I guess that's settled then," Taiga eventually said. He glanced around as if making sure no one was overhearing their conversation because that would have been embarrassing. He wouldn't have known how to explain it. 

"I'll see you later, then."

Hokuto gave a small nod. "Yeah, see you later."

Taiga turned and walked out of the stable, his heart beating with both anticipation and dread. As always, the conversation had been awfully clumsy, but at least they had a plan now. 

And then, Taiga could only brace himself for what was to come.

-----

Taiga sat on the edge of the bed, fingers gripping the bedspread. His mind was racing, and his heart hammered loudly in his chest as he stared at the floor, unable to look properly at Hokuto who was standing by the door.

What were they even doing? It was insane. Completely insane. Who even made deals like that? It felt like something out of a bad joke, except it wasn't funny. It was just weird.

Taiga could mirror his own awkwardness from Hokuto who looked equally out of place. Hokuto was chewing on his lower lip, hands shoved into his pockets as if that would somehow ground him.

"So," Taiga began. "How do we… start this?"

Hokuto winced. "I have no idea."

They both let out nervous laughter, but it died just as quickly, leaving behind an even thicker silence. Taiga's stomach twisted in knots.

This had been a terrible idea, Taiga realized. He should just back out now and pretend this whole thing never happened. 

But before Taiga could do or say anything, Hokuto closed the door behind him and moved closer, his footsteps muffled on the carpet. Taiga's breath hitched as Hokuto sat down beside him on the edge of the bed, close enough that their knees were almost touching.

"You look like you're about to pass out," Hokuto said, his possible attempt at humor falling flat because his voice was way too strained for Taiga to take it as a joke and react to it with a laugh.

"Well, you're not exactly beaming confidence either," Taiga said back.

"Mmmh."

They continued sitting there, both staring at the bedroom wall in front of them, not sure what to do next.

The pressure built until Taiga couldn't take it anymore. 

He turned abruptly toward Hokuto, leaned in, took his face between his hands, and kissed him. Wildly. Messily. It was a desperate attempt to break through the awkwardness, to force things into motion. But the moment their lips met, it became obvious how poorly thought-out it was. 

The kiss was nothing like Taiga had imagined. It was clumsy and off, their movements completely out of sync. Hokuto tried to respond to the kiss immediately, parting his lips willingly as Taiga's tongue slid into his mouth. He also took a grip of Taiga's shirt tightly to pull him closer. 

It only ended up that their noses bumped hard. Then Hokuto's elbow jabbed into Taiga's ribs as he tried to awkwardly maneuver himself, making them both flinch. 

"Ow, sorry," Hokuto mumbled against Taiga's mouth, pulling back, his face flushed.

"No, it's fine," Taiga stammered, his heart beating hard for all the wrong reasons.

"It's just—"

"Yeah, I know," Taiga interrupted, sitting back a little. "It's weird. And, ugh, bad. Sorry." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

Hokuto also uttered a sigh.

"Look, Kyomoto… we don't have to do this. Seriously, if you're not feeling it, we can stop right now. No pressure." 

He paused, his eyes darting to Taiga's pale face. "Besides, you look like you're walking into a slaughterhouse."

Taiga's eyes shot up. "What? Slaughterhouse? Seriously?"

"Yes," Hokuto said. "You're sitting there, white as a sheet, like you're being led to getting slaughtered or something."

"Oh, so it's my fault now that this is awkward?" Taiga asked incredulously. "Excuse me, but have you seen yourself? Maybe if you didn't look like some damn lurking gloomy river demon who's about to drown anyone who—"

Hokuto scoffed and turned to glare at Taiga. "Kappa? Seriously? That's the best you can come up with?"

"You started this by talking about a damn slaughterhouse!"

"What the-"

"Yeah, what the hell. Indeed."

Neither of them moved, their glares locked in a silent standoff.

Taiga expected Hokuto to stand up at any moment, just leave the room, and forget that anything of this ever happened. Yet, neither of them broke the eye contact. 

Until Hokuto's lips suddenly twitched upwards.

Taiga blinked in confusion, but before he could process it properly, a soft snort of laughter escaped Hokuto's throat.

Then Hokuto's shoulders started shaking, and the laughter came tumbling out in waves. 

It was infectious. Taiga tried to hold on to his indignation, but it slipped away as he kept listening to Hokuto laughing. The more he listened to Hokuto, the more his own laughter bubbled up until he couldn't hold it any longer. Suddenly, they were both laughing aloud. It wasn't just a small chuckle but a full-blown, gut-wrenching laughter that left them gasping for air and clutching their sides.

Hokuto leaned back, still shaking with laughter. 

"We're so ridiculous," he managed to say between his chuckles. "This is so stupid."

"Yeah," Taiga agreed, his laughter tapering off as he took a deep breath. 

The room quieted down eventually, the last remnants of their laughter fading. 

"I'm just nervous," Hokuto then admitted quietly.

Taiga felt the last bits of humor fading from his face as he looked at Hokuto, really looked at him this time. 

"Me too," he said softly. "I mean, how could I not be? This whole thing is just too weird."

"I get that," Hokuto said, leaning back on his hands and having a more relaxed position. "But hey, at least it can't get any worse. Maybe it's better if we just accept that and go from there."

Taiga nodded slowly. "So, no expectations? From either side?"

"Absolutely no expectations," Hokuto confirmed. "We'll just see how it goes. Let's take it slowly."

"Okay," Taiga agreed. He glanced over at Hokuto, who gave him a small, reassuring smile. It was the first time in weeks that Hokuto had smiled at him like that, and it made something warm bloom in Taiga's chest.

With that, they moved a little closer to each other, still hesitant but no longer as stiff. Hokuto reached out first, brushing his fingers against Taiga's hand. Then he placed his hand carefully on the back of Taiga's palm, squeezing it. 

Taiga looked down at their hands, the contact sending a shiver up his arm, but it wasn't unpleasant.

"Is this okay?" Hokuto asked gently.

"Yeah," Taiga whispered, meeting Hokuto's eyes. "It's okay."

"Good," Hokuto said. He brushed his thumb over the back of Taiga's hand. "By the way, I don't think I've ever said this to you, but your hands are really nice. They look strong, and they're beautiful."

"Thanks," Taiga said, a smile creeping onto his face. "I like your hands too. They're nice."

Taiga shifted his hand, gently tracing the outline of Hokuto's open palm with the tips of his fingers. "You have a certain elegance about them."

"Oh. Thank you."

Taiga hummed in response.

Then Hokuto leaned in slowly, his breath warm against Taiga's skin as he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Taiga's mouth. The kiss was gentle and tentative, like he was testing the waters, gauging Taiga's reaction.

Taiga's breath caught, the touch of Hokuto's lips sending a rush of heat through his veins. Another kiss followed, this time closer to his lips, then another, each one lingering just a little longer than the last. Taiga could feel himself relax more with each peck. The kisses slowly started growing less tentative and became firmer.

When Hokuto finally pressed his lips fully against Taiga's, Taiga responded instinctively, kissing him back. Their kisses were slow and careful, this time finding a rhythm together. Hokuto's scent—earthy with a faint sweetness—filled Taiga's senses, grounding him in the moment. All that made the room feel smaller and quieter, like nothing else existed outside that exact moment.

Taiga pressed closer, feeling Hokuto's breath hitch against his lips as he slowly started unbuttoning Hokuto's shirt. His fingers were shaking slightly with both anticipation and nerves. Hokuto's breath came in short, shallow bursts, but just as Taiga's fingers reached the last button, Hokuto's hand closed over his, stopping him. 

But Hokuto didn't push him away. Instead, Hokuto kept his hand on Taiga's, holding it tightly against his bare chest where Taiga could feel the rapid thrum of Hokuto's heartbeat beneath his palm.

Then Hokuto pulled Taiga into his embrace. His touch was both firm and tender, and his hands slid under Taiga's shirt to soothe his back.  

"Take this off," Taiga murmured against his ear, tugging at Hokuto's shirt, his voice rougher now with need. His focus was narrowed to the feeling of wanting to feel Hokuto's skin against his properly.

They pulled apart just long enough to shed their shirts, the fabrics falling to the floor.

Hokuto kissed him again, this time harder. Taiga responded in kind, his hands finding Hokuto's waist and pulling him closer until there was no space left between their upper bodies.

Their kisses grew hungrier as Taiga's hands moved lower, fingers brushing the waistband of Hokuto's pants. He hesitated momentarily but then could feel Hokuto nodding between their kisses. 

That was all Taiga needed. He quickly opened Hokuto's pants, and Hokuto followed suit, fumbling with Taiga's pants before they both slid out of them, leaving them in nothing but their underwear. Hokuto stood up to remove the pant leg stuck in his ankle.

Taiga still sat on the edge of the bed while Hokuto came to stand between his legs. He placed his hands on Taiga's shoulders and looked down at him. 

Taiga's face flushed, both from the intensity of the moment and the vulnerability of being so exposed. But Hokuto didn't falter, didn't step away. He just looked at Taiga.

"Still okay?" Hokuto asked with a low voice.

Taiga nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?"

"All good."

Hokuto kneeled down and beckoned Taiga to raise his butt a little bit. Then he reached down and slid Taiga's underwear off. Then Taiga reached out to Hokuto's underwear and yanked them down to Hokuto's ankles. Hokuto stepped out of them, leaving them on the floor.

Now that they were both completely naked, Taiga didn't spend too much time ogling Hokuto's body, but he shifted himself to lie on his back on the bed and beckoned Hokuto to come to lie on top of him. Hokuto followed him and Taiga wrapped his arms around his shoulders. 

They started kissing again, all tongues and hurried lips. Taiga released a soft gasp as Hokuto pulled away and began licking his way down his neck to his collarbone, nipping into the soft flesh just under his Adam's apple. Hokuto's hands roamed lower.

Hokuto paused all his movements for a moment, his hand resting on Taiga's thigh as if asking for permission without words. Taiga swallowed, his heart beating so fast. 

"It's okay. You can touch me there," he muttered.

With that, Hokuto brought his hand between Taiga's legs and touched his hard cock with an open palm. His hands were cool, but Taiga could feel himself burning from the touch. He moved a little bit so that Hokuto would understand that it was okay to move forward. Hokuto luckily took the cue and wrapped his fingers around Taiga's cock, slowly starting to jerk him.

Taiga hissed, eyes squeezing shut as his hips instinctively fell into rhythm. The feeling was overwhelming, almost too good. For a moment, he could forget it was Hokuto's hand on him.

Taiga's hand drifted between them, searching until he found Hokuto's hard cock as well. It felt strange as he gave it a squeeze, similar yet different from his own. He began stroking him in sync with their rhythm, matching Hokuto's pace. 

Hokuto's soft moans were a good sign that Taiga was doing something right. But Hokuto still seemed to be holding back more than Taiga was, which made Taiga suddenly self-conscious about his own low unrestrained groans. He felt a flicker of embarrassment for being so much louder.      

Hiding his embarrassment, Taiga released Hokuto's cock and gestured for him to do the same. He shifted slightly, leaning down to press a firm kiss to Hokuto's chest. Then he kissed his left nipple and gave it a lick. 

Each kiss trailed lower, his mouth moving slowly. Hokuto's breath hitched as Taiga's lips brushed over his stomach, then lower still. 

When Taiga's mouth finally found Hokuto's hard cock, his first tentative lick sent a visible shudder through Hokuto. Within that, Taiga grew more confident, his tongue tracing bold lines along the shaft as Hokuto let out a quiet, unrestrained moan.

Hokuto's fingers gripped the bedsheets tightly as Taiga continued licking and sucking him. His faint moans became more frequent, his breath hitching in his throat. 

As Taiga's mouth worked on him, Hokuto's body tensed, he was probably very close already-

"Stop," Hokuto gasped, his hand reaching down to gently motion Taiga away. "Not yet."

Taiga pulled back, slightly breathless, wiping his lips as he looked up at Hokuto. Hokuto gave him a reassuring smile before moving them both, shifting so they were lying on their sides. Taiga's back pressed snugly against Hokuto's chest while their legs were intertwined.

Hokuto wrapped an arm around Taiga's torso, his fingers brushing lightly over his chest, teasing his nipples with his fingers. Taiga's breath quickened. Hokuto's lips were close to his ear, nibbling his earlobe between his lips without using his teeth.

Hokuto's fingers continued their slow, deliberate exploration of his chest and nipples, and then, he brought two fingers to Taiga's mouth. Without needing to be told, Taiga parted his lips, taking Hokuto's fingers inside. He licked them tentatively at first, swirling his tongue around the tips before sucking lightly. Hokuto let out a low hum of approval, his lips brushing the back of Taiga's neck as he pressed his body firmer against him.

"Hey, would it be okay if I licked you there?" Hokuto whispered into Taiga's ear. Taiga turned to look at him quickly. Only a short moment flashed before he nodded and withdrew himself from Hokuto to get over on all fours.

Hokuto ran his hands along Taiga's ass, kneading what little flesh there was before he pulled the cheeks apart and leaned in and kissed between them.

"Whoa!" Taiga uttered a sharp groan, feeling a shiver in his spine so strong that his legs started shaking immediately. He buried in his arms as he tried to steady himself, but his legs kept shaking uncontrollably. Each press of Hokuto's tongue made his spine tingle, his hips instinctively rocking back.

As his breath kept coming in short gasps, Taiga absentmindedly thought that it was good that he wasn't looking at Hokuto and their faces weren't meeting. Looking at him or the idea of having a meal together in awkward silence felt way more humiliating than Hokuto's tongue exploring him inside there. Taiga bit his lip as another loud moan escaped him.

Hokuto's fingers dug into his flesh, kneading, and soon, a slick finger joined his movements, sliding in beside his tongue. Taiga gasped, his body reacting without thought, hips moving in time with the steady rhythm. All of it was overwhelming, flooding his senses, and all he could manage was a low, guttural mutter, "Fuck, Hokuto."

Hokuto didn't respond verbally. He just continued to prepare him, his finger sliding deeper, twisting, and gently stretching.

When Hokuto slipped a second finger inside and stretched him more, it didn't take long before Taiga was more than ready. 

And then Hokuto didn't only pull his fingers and mouth off him, but he withdrew himself completely. Taiga opened his eyes, confused for a moment, but then saw Hokuto fumbling with something on the bed beside them. A slight crinkle followed as Hokuto pulled out a package, his expression slightly flushed.

"Wait, do you have condoms?" Taiga asked.

Hokuto froze, cheeks burning red as he held up the small foil-wrapped condom. "Hm, yeah," he mumbled. "I found it earlier. Don't… don't make me explain."

Taiga stared, his brain buzzing from both arousal and the situation's absurdity. Then he let out a breathless laugh. "You're such a dork."

"Yeah, well… do you want me to use it or not?" Hokuto asked, clearly flustered.

Taiga bit his lip, eyes darting to the condom. He did want things to go even further; there was no reason to stop now. And safe sex was always good if there was a possibility for that. There usually wasn't. Although their mouths had already been all over each other, so it wasn’t exactly crucial from that point of view any longer, but it might at least make the bed a bit less messy. He nodded. "Yeah, use it."

Hokuto tore open the condom and rolled it onto his cock. With a gentle nudge, Hokuto gestured Taiga to lie on his stomach and positioned himself at Taiga's entrance. He paused for a heartbeat, fingers squeezing Taiga's hips as if silently asking for permission. Taiga shifted back, instinctively inviting him in, and with a slow push, Hokuto slid into him.

"Okay?" Hokuto's voice was low, his breath hot against Taiga's shoulder.

"Yeah, keep going," Taiga urged.

Hokuto began to move, his hips rocking gently in a steady rhythm. As he picked up his pace, his hands roamed over Taiga's body, one hand kneading Taiga's ass, the other resting on his lower back. Taiga felt himself melt into it, his hips pushing back to meet Hokuto's thrusts. 

But soon, Hokuto slowed down, shifting his weight slightly. "Come here," he murmured, guiding Taiga to reposition.

Hokuto wrapped an arm around Taiga again, stroking his chest with an open palm. Taiga gasped, arching into the touch. Hokuto wrapped his other hand around Taiga's cock, stroking him.

Taiga's breath quickened. Each of Hokuto's strokes and thrusts intensified the fire building within him. Hokuto's mouth found Taiga's neck, planting hot kisses along his skin. 

"Fuck," Taiga gasped, his body responding eagerly to every touch. The feeling of Hokuto deep inside him, combined with the warmth of his chest against Taiga's back and the rhythmic strokes on his cock, pushed him closer to the edge. Taiga knew he wouldn't last long like that.

As he neared his orgasm, Taiga reached for Hokuto's hand on his cock, intertwining his fingers with Hokuto's. He guided the rhythm, and gestured for Hokuto to take a firmer grip on his cock because he wanted to come at that moment and not hinder it any longer. He cried out as the orgasm hit him, and he spilled into their hands. 

Hokuto continued to move inside him, his thrusts becoming slower but no less intense. He pressed his forehead against Taiga's shoulder, a single cry escaping his mouth as he finally came. He kept catching the air, still arms wrapped around Taiga.

When Hokuto's breath began to steady, he pulled out. Taiga collapsed on his side, and Hokuto followed him and let him go of his embrace. 

Taiga lay on his side, back turned to Hokuto and not looking at him. His mind still buzzing from the orgasm, and he wanted to enjoy the moment for a little longer since who knew when he'd have the next chance for that. He was aware, though, of Hokuto moving next to him, fiddling with something, probably getting rid of the condom. The room was quiet aside from their soft breaths.

Then Hokuto broke the silence. "Umm… Kyomoto?" 

Taiga blinked, still a little out of it. "What?"

Hokuto shifted awkwardly. "I think the condom broke."

Taiga turned his head slightly as he wasn't fully processing. "What?" he repeated, his voice hoarse.

"I think part of it is still inside you."

Taiga looked at the small, crumpled piece of latex in Hokuto's hand, then back at Hokuto's worried face.

"Uh… may I?" Hokuto asked, gesturing vaguely toward Taiga's ass.

Taiga nodded, feeling too tired to protest. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

Hokuto moved carefully behind his back. His fingers were gentle as he fished out the broken pieces of the condom from inside Taiga. Taiga lay still, staring at the wall, feeling oddly detached from the whole situation. There was nothing romantic about it, but it wasn't awkward either. Hokuto remained silent, simply being focused on his task. He didn't say anything even when he finished fishing the latex and disposing of the remnants by throwing them to the floor. Taiga could only think they'd need to make sure to clean properly before the others would come back.

Hokuto came to lie on his back but didn't touch Taiga anymore. All the job was done, so there was no need for that. But things felt strangely normal like they were both simply enjoying the after-feeling without needing to talk about it or have a romantic cuddle.

After a while, Taiga realized he wanted to get up, maybe go to the bathroom, and just collect himself in peace. He turned to glance at Hokuto over his shoulder.

"Umm hey. Thanks, Hokuto. I guess," Taiga muttered after a long pause, unsure how else to disclose the moment. 

"Are you okay?" he went on.

Hokuto nodded. "Yeah, I'm good," he said. "Thanks. It was… good."

"Yeah, it was," Taiga said when he stood up. He wasn't sure what else to say. Slowly, he reached for his clothes, gathering them up in one arm. Hokuto didn't move to stop him, didn't say anything more, and that was more than okay.

Taiga tiptoed toward the door, his clothes clutched to his chest. He glanced back just once, seeing Hokuto lying there, but quickly turned away. With one last hum, Taiga slipped out of the room.

-----

Later, they met in the yard, fully dressed and collected. Hokuto was standing by the fireplace, messing with the tinderbox, as Taiga approached. Hokuto looked casual as if nothing unusual had happened between them just moments before.

"Got that fire going yet?" Taiga asked, leaning against the side of the fireplace.

Hokuto glanced up. "Trying to. It's a bit stubborn today."

"Maybe it's afraid of you," Taiga teased.

Hokuto chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Right, because fire is known to be scared of people."

"Hey, you never know," Taiga shrugged, feigning seriousness. "As we know, you have that intimidating vibe."

"Says you," Hokuto snorted, and Taiga simply snorted playfully back, not commenting on that further. He decided to keep company to Hokuto until he'd get the fire done. 

Taiga had half-expected some lingering awkwardness, but there was none. If anything, it felt surprisingly normal. No words were needed. Everything felt settled. Taiga simply watched as Hokuto coaxed a small flame to life with the tinderbox. Hokuto blew gently, feeding the spark until it caught, smoke curling upwards before the flames grew strong enough to take on the wood.

At one point, Taiga excused himself to head upstairs and check the room. He intended to clean up any evidence of their earlier activities, not wanting anyone else to stumble upon it. But when he walked in, he stopped by the door. The room was all clean. The bed was made, the air was fresh, and everything looked untouched. Taiga stood there for a moment and then smiled. Apparently, Hokuto, as usual, had quietly taken care of things.

He eventually returned downstairs, now finding Hokuto in the kitchen. Without saying anything, they started prepping ingredients for dinner. As they began chopping vegetables in silence, there still was no conversation between them, but it still didn't feel bad either.

At some point, the front door swung open, and Juri, Jesse, and Kochi filed in. Shintaro followed closely behind, carrying some sort of a gas tank, and released an exaggerated puff of exhaustion as he placed the tank on the floor.

Juri wandered into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, eyeing Taiga and Hokuto with a grin. "Well, I'm glad you two didn't kill each other while we were gone."

Taiga rolled his eyes as he cut through a bell pepper. "What are you talking about? I like spending time with Hokuto. Believe it or not, we're friends."

The room fell quiet for a second as a couple of curious looks were exchanged among the others. It wasn't that anyone doubted they were friends, but how Taiga said it with such casual confidence clearly caught some attention. Taiga glanced at Hokuto, who gave a tiny, knowing smirk but said nothing.

"Okay, okay," Juri simply said.

The subject was dropped as quickly as it came up, and soon, the kitchen was filled with idle chatter, the others explaining about their trip to the TV tower and what they had encountered. 

Taiga felt a strange sense of relief. Things really did seem fine. More than fine, actually.

Later in the evening, when the day was winding down, Hokuto ended up helping Taiga carry a stack of boxes into the warehouse. As they moved the last few boxes into place, Taiga caught Hokuto's eyes. 

"Thanks, Hokuto," he said.

"Any time, Kyomoto," Hokuto answered, and his tone was so sincere that it made Taiga suddenly feel the warmth he had witnessed so many times when Hokuto was with others. But now the warmth was there, directed right at him.

For the first time in a long while, Taiga felt like things between them were not just okay or tolerable, but genuinely good.

-----

Juri came strolling into the room with a naughty grin, holding a crinkled package in his hands. "Guys," he said with great amusement, "you won't believe what I just found."

Everyone paused what they were doing. They all turned to Juri, who was standing in the middle of the room and waving the package like he'd struck gold.

"This," Juri continued, chuckling to himself, "is a pack of condoms… with an expiration date from seven years ago!" He burst out laughing even louder. "And one of them has been used!"

Taiga froze, exchanging a lightning-quick glance with Hokuto before looking away, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. The room went eerily silent for a second, except for Juri's cackling. From the corner of his eye, Taiga also noticed Jesse's face going slightly red, Kochi shifting uncomfortably in his seat, while Shintaro's eyes travelled nervously between everyone, Taiga not sure if he was doing best not to laugh or cry. 

But Juri kept going. "Who's the genius of you that kept this relic around? And better yet, who's the idiot who thought using a condom this old was a good idea? These things would break in seconds, might as well not use one at all!"

Juri tossed the package onto the table, still chuckling, while everyone else sat in stunned silence.

"Whoever it was," Juri said. "Next time, maybe check the expiration date, yeah?"

It was impossible not to laugh at the absurdity of it all, though, and as the tension broke, even Taiga couldn't help but let out a small, exasperated laugh.

The rest of the room followed, laughter rippling through the group as they all collectively realized how funny it was. Even Hokuto cracked a smile, shaking his head.

As the laughter died down, Taiga caught Hokuto's eye once more. Hokuto gave him a slight, knowing grin, and Taiga grinned in return, feeling a strange relief that, in the end, it seemed like things between them had started to make sense again. Maybe, Taiga thought with a quiet smirk, sleeping together hadn't been a terrible idea at all. As long as it stayed as a one-time thing. As their dirty little secret.