It was already 11:37 when Taiga allowed himself to head home. It had earned him some glares from his colleagues but he couldn’t bring himself to care, exhausted beyond belief for working overtime four days in a row. Luckily, this time he didn’t miss the last train and didn't have to spend the night at the office again. The train wasn't full and he could even sit down. Taiga avoided the obviously drunk salarymen, taking a seat next to the train door. He closed his eyes and rested the back of his head against the train window. He was about to nod off when his phone buzzed in his hand.
shintaro
Kyomo 💩 are you home yet?
Taiga frowned at the message. Had he been in a better mood, he would've sent Shintaro a dozen poop emojis back.
kyomo
No. Train
shintaro
So cranky 👺 Did you forget to eat again?
Again. When was the last time he ate today? Maybe the free bento he got for lunch when they had potential clients over.
shintaro
Get something from the convenience store at least 🍙 😪
kyomo
I will
shintaro
You need a vacation. When are you coming over? 🏖
kyomo
who knows 💩💩💩
shintaro
💩💩💩💩💩
Visiting Shintaro. It had been on his list of things to do since he got a job. He figured he would have all the money and freedom to travel once he was living on his own, and he would visit his friend so often it wouldn’t even be noticeable that Shintaro moved away. He couldn't have been more wrong. Not only did all his money go towards paying his living expenses, he didn't even have the time to go on vacation anymore since the company he worked for demanded so much of his time.
shintaro
Don't you miss your cutest friend? 🥹 i miss you
kyomo
What cutest friend sends poop emojis 💩
shintaro
💩💩💩 text me when you get home
kyomo
🆗️‼️💩
As promised, Taiga dropped by a supermarket on the way home, buying a couple of rice balls and a tonkatsu bento on sale. Once he got home he sent Shintaro a picture of the food on his table.
shintaro
better than nothing at least
shintaro
eat and go to sleep! Good night🩷
kyomo
night
Taiga collapsed on his couch after eating the tonkatsu bento and having a quick shower. It wasn’t like he would get much sleep, since he had to be up early to go to work again the next day, but he had to get a few hours anyway. He dreamed of simpler times, of going home after school and arguing with Shintaro over snacks and video games.
The two of them were neighbors. Shintaro moved in a few doors away when Taiga was in third grade, and, being the two only kids in that apartment complex, they had no choice but to hang out with each other. They would always be fighting about something trivial (because Shintaro was a cheeky brat and Taiga wouldn’t have any of his bullshit, and maybe Taiga was a little bossy since he was older, and Shintaro wouldn’t have any of his bullshit), but they managed to stay friends after the countless fights, when Shintaro would quietly lend Taiga the new manga volumes he just bought or Taiga walked home beside him wordlessly.
Their routine of going home together ended when Taiga graduated from high school, but the two of them continued hanging out whenever Taiga came home from his college dorm.
“I’m thinking of taking over the guesthouse when I graduate,” Shintaro said one time when Taiga had come home to visit his family during the summer. The two of them sat outside a convenience store, eating a double popsicle they had split between them. Melted blue liquid had already stained the collar of Shintaro’s white summer uniform. “You know, the one by the beach? We went with Juri a few years ago.”
“Yeah.” The small guesthouse by the sea. Shintaro’s grandma owned it when she was alive, and Taiga and Juri had gone a couple of times to help out and earn some extra money when they were in high school. Taiga remembered the place fondly (even though he wasn’t any good with the heat or the physical labor).
“I can go fishing and surfing anytime I want. It’ll be fun,” Shintaro said excitedly. “I’ll still get my teaching license, but I'll run the guesthouse during the summer. And you guys can come visit me.”
“You’ll probably just boss us around like your grandma did.” Taiga smiled at the memory. Shintaro’s grandmother hadn’t treated him and Juri as guests at all when they visited. In fact, she worked all three of them to the bone, having them clean the guesthouse, serve guests yakisoba, and carry groceries all summer. “You’ll be a complete tyrant.”
“Only if you don’t do things properly!” Shintaro took a large bite out of the half-eaten popsicle Taiga was holding. This resulted in Taiga pushing him off the bench and them smacking each other until Shintaro agreed to buy the next popsicle they would share.
-
The next few weeks were as soul-sucking as ever. Taiga rarely went home from all the extra work his boss kept giving him, and even when he did, he continued working in his apartment just to meet deadlines. It had been this bad since his old boss retired a few years ago and was replaced by a power-hungry new boss. It even affected his relationships. He never saw his friends anymore, the texts inviting him out to drink stopping after one too many rejections. Hokuto also decided he was done putting up with Taiga having no energy whenever they spent time together and ultimately dumped his ass via text a few months ago.
It was pretty much a miracle he was still friends with Shintaro. They didn’t even live anywhere near each other anymore, but they managed to keep in touch because Shintaro continued to text him every single day, even though Taiga could barely keep his eyes open long enough to reply.
“You look like shit,” Shintaro commented bluntly when Taiga had the rare chance to video call him from his room. He was chewing on a crab leg, the area around him lively with what seemed to be a beachside party. “You’re not eating or sleeping properly again, are you?”
Taiga rolled his eyes. “Why am I using my free time to talk to you again?” He unwrapped his convenience store onigiri and took a bite to show Shintaro that he was, in fact, eating.
“Because you love me the most.” Shintaro turned away from the camera to say hello to some friends. It looked like they were having a barbecue party by the beach. Comparing his convenience store food to the grilled meat and seafood they were having filled Taiga with envy and self-pity. Shintaro wrapped an arm around some dude’s shoulders. “Hey, this is Kochi!” The guy he now knew as Kochi waved at the camera with one hand, the other balancing a plate of grilled food. “He was in Tokyo too but he quit his job to stay here. He’s a camping instructor now, but he helps out at the guesthouse too. Kochi, this is Kyomo who I told you about.”
“Ah, the one working at a black company.” Great, now even random strangers knew about Taiga’s misery from his loudmouth friend.
“He should quit, right? You tell him, Kochi!”
“You should! So Shintaro can finally stop whining that you won’t visit him!” Kochi laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
Shintaro waved Kochi off and went all lifestyle Youtuber on Taiga. He animatedly showed him the grilled seafood they were having, the newly repainted wooden guesthouse signage, and the sea that sparkled from the guesthouse lights.
“How’s that? Do you feel like visiting now?” Shintaro asked when he had finished his impromptu tour of the beach.
Taiga wanted to go. He didn't want to continue being on autopilot, the monotony of work life weighing heavily on him, devoid of any human contact but the cold treatment of his bosses.
“It's not bad, but the guesthouse owner seems like a little shit.”
He wrote his resignation letter that night.
-
“How many years have you been working here?!”
Ah, his manager is mad again. He asked for the report he was yelling about long past Taiga’s working hours. There was no way the quality of work would be good. Taiga sat at his desk, fists clenched on his fist, taking the brunt of his boss’s anger like usual.
“Why can’t you do such a simple thing? Are you this much of an idiot? What kind of parents raised you?”
“Definitely ones better than yours.”
The look of shock on his manager’s face was worth the louder yelling that he received, but Taiga didn’t have the energy to deal with it anymore, reaching for the envelope in his suit pocket that he had been carrying around exactly for this. He put the resignation letter on top of his desk.
“I quit.”
-
Juri called him on his way home. “Oi, I heard you blew up on Makihara,” he asked frantically. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Taiga answered him. “I just got yelled at and threatened to be blacklisted from other companies. Nothing new.”
“Stupid.”
“Are you saying I should’ve put up with it?” In retrospect, that was probably what Taiga should’ve done. He should have quietly put up with the screaming like always. But he just didn’t care anymore.
“No, I’m saying you should’ve left earlier. You shouldn’t have gotten used to being treated like that.” Juri sounded concerned. “But you should’ve told me if you were gonna quit that way! I could’ve seen the look on that bald old bitch’s face.”
Taiga laughed. He hadn’t talked to Juri in months, always having to blow off any of his friend’s invitations to meals and drinking parties. It was reassuring to still have Juri looking out for him.
He saw two grade schoolers get on the train, animatedly talking about their Kamen rider toys. This was a rare sight for Taiga. He usually went home on the last train, long past school hours would be over. All he would see were tired old office workers like him.
“Hey, now that I’m free, I should probably go visit Shintaro.”
“Yeah, go visit him,” Juri’s voice crackled through the speaker. “Another summer of you not visiting and he’ll sulk again. Fucking baby.”
-
Shintaro was waiting for him at the train station when he arrived. “Yo,” he greeted Taiga cheerfully. He’s all tan and buff now, and he’s reached Taiga’s height, despite being a lot shorter than Taiga back in their school days. Gone was the little kid Taiga argued over pokemon cards with.
“Yo.” Taiga gave him a tired smile. He let Shintaro help load his luggage into the car trunk. “When did you get all cool and manly?”
“I’ve always been cool and manly!”
“No, you were a brat.”
They listened to songs that were popular during their school days on the long drive back to the beach house. Shintaro babbled excitedly about the fish he caught this morning and promised to feed Taiga good food everyday he was here. It didn’t feel like they hadn’t met in years. Taiga found himself still guffawing at Shintaro’s stupid jokes. Nothing had changed between them at all.
They pulled up to the little beach house. It looked exactly the same as the last time Taiga had been there: the white wooden panels, the showa era decor in the entrance that Shintaro’s granny had left, and the framed pictures of Shintaro and his siblings in their childhood still decorating the walls. He spotted a picture of their friend group from high school. Juri, Shintaro, and Taiga, all scrawny and sporting the terrible hairstyles of that era, showing off the large fish Shintaro’s grandpa had caught as if they had caught it themselves.
Taiga only had time to set his luggage on the bedroom floor before Shintaro dragged him to the beach.
“Well, it’s a busy day so let's get to work!”
Taiga was shoved into the beachside yakisoba stand with Kochi, who he only previously met through his video call with Shintaro. Kochi gave him a quick hey before instructing him to wash his hands and pointing at the tray of yakisoba containers and beer on the counter.
“To that group over there. The one with the girl in the green bikini,” Kochi directed, pointing to the area of the beach that had fold-out tables and chairs. “Chop chop!”
Before his brain could register that it was annoying that a stranger was bossing him around, Taiga carefully made his way through the scantily-clad beachgoers, feeling out-of-place in pants and sneakers. He set the tray on the table Kochi pointed him to, giving the group of girls sitting an awkward smile of acknowledgement before heading back to the stand.
Kochi gave him another tray to serve as soon as he got back. This went on all afternoon. Taiga was drenched in sweat in the summer sun, his skin burning and his shirt stuck to his back.
“Sorry Shintaro’s a cheapskate and won’t hire part-timers,” Kochi apologized when the yakisoba was sold out and they could finally take a breather.
“I just knew he would be a dictator like his grandma was,” Taiga said, taking the cold bottle of iced tea Kochi offered him. “Actually, he might be worse. Who makes someone work as soon as they arrive from a long trip?”
“It’s no different from the black companies we worked at, huh?” Kochi laughed.
“Wherever we go, we’re exploited.” Taiga decided Kochi wasn’t a bad guy. He could probably get along with him. “Where is Shintaro though?”
“There.” Kochi pointed to the sea. It looked like Shintaro was holding a newbie surfing lesson on the sand for some girls. “Charming the ladies. I doubt they’d be charmed if they knew he exploited his friends as free labor.”
They continued to man the yakisoba stand without any yakisoba to sell, serving beer and drinks to the beachgoers instead, until the sun started to set and Shintaro’s surfing lesson ended.
“Aren’t you looking better already!” Shintaro had the audacity to say when he got back. Most of the beachgoers had already gone, leaving the three of them to clean up the beach. He grinned as he helped Taiga and Kochi fold the tables and chairs away. “You’re not the sickly shade of corporate slave anymore.”
“Idiot, you tired him out,” Kochi scolded him. “Look at him! He’s exhausted. You’re a bad friend.”
“It’s fine! The exhaustion’ll make dinner taste better!”
And Shintaro was right. The three of them had an outdoor barbecue with the beach house guests, who were a group of college kids from Osaka. Taiga probably ate more in that single night than he had eaten in the past month. He had fun talking with everyone, laughing at Shintaro’s stupid jokes and listening to Kochi’s solo camping stories, but the perpetual exhaustion he’d been feeling for years stayed.
-
Taiga was worn out. He had tried to sleep, and should’ve been able to, considering he had traveled and worked at the beach all day but he had never been good at sleeping in hotels whenever he traveled. He snuck out of his room to sit on the deck to think. Unlike in Tokyo, he could see the stars clearly from here.
He flinched when he felt something cold against the back of his neck and looked up to see Shintaro holding two cans of beer. Shintaro sat beside him and he took the beer he was offered, pulling the tab open to take a sip. The last time he went drinking with his friends was years ago. Taiga drowned the thought in alcohol.
“Kyomo.” Shintaro opened his own can of beer. “How’re you feeling?”
“Like shit,” Taiga said honestly.
Shintaro hummed in acknowledgement. “Wanna talk about it?”
Taiga hadn’t really had the time to sit with his feelings, needing to always be on autopilot to survive daily life. But this was Shintaro asking. Shintaro had always been a safe place for him. He tried to put his feelings into words.
“I quit that stupid job, yay, but now I have no income and no direction and no friends and Hokuto broke up with me because I couldn't give him enough time and energy and I haven't had time to visit you at all even though I really missed you and wanted to see you and I don't want my parents to know I've failed them and-” Taiga choked back a sob, wiping hastily at the tears rolling down his cheeks with the back of his hand. It was like a dam had broken and the feelings he had bottled up all this time spilled over.
Shintaro covered the hand that was on the wooden deck, the pad of his thumb grazing Taiga's knuckles soothingly. “So, like shit,” he summarized.
Taiga cracked a watery smile. “Yeah.”
Shintaro let Taiga ramble on about how miserable he was and how he didn’t know what he was going to do from now on, nodding and continuing to hold his hand.
“You're an idiot,” he said when Taiga’s sobbing had subsided to quiet sniffles. Shintaro handed him a pack of tissues from his pocket. “You haven’t failed, the job just wasn’t good for you. You can still try other things. Your friends don't hate you. And Hokuto? Fuck that guy! Good-looking ass motherfucker. Good fucking riddance!”
Taiga couldn't help but laugh. “When did little Shin-chan become so dependable?”
Shintaro had been a tough kid who never let other people see him cry. One of the few times Taiga saw him cry was when Shintaro was in the third grade. He missed his siblings, he explained through whimpers that broke Taiga's tiny fifth grader heart. After their parents divorced, his brother and sister stayed with their father and their mother brought Shintaro with her to Tokyo, to the apartment complex Taiga also lived in. Although he was an only child, Taiga understood the loneliness. He had given the smaller boy a tight hug and his favorite snacks to cheer him up, rewarded with an even tighter hug back. Shintaro was cute back then.
“I can't believe I'm being comforted by a snot-nosed brat who shits his pants,” Taiga said instead of the heartwarming memory.
“Hey, that was one time! And I was a first grader!” Shintaro defended himself.
They continued their banter until Taiga realized he wasn’t crying anymore, his chest feeling lighter than it had been in years.
-
The guesthouse continued to be busy the next few days. They had two large groups of friends staying with them that they needed to cook and clean for along with running the food stand at the beach. Shintaro’s surfing lessons were quite popular and never ran out of students, which gave him the excuse to push food stand duty to Kochi and Taiga. Taiga hadn’t cooked yakisoba since the last time he was on this beach in high school, but Kochi was a patient enough teacher, so he got to the skill level that they could take turns cooking and serving food. Sometimes girls would get too friendly with him, the conversations starting with are you Shin-chan’s friend and progressing to do you have a girlfriend or do you want to hang out with us. Taiga learned to smile politely and pretend to be busy.
“Shintaro, I’ve said this before but hurry up and hire some new part-timers already,” Kochi complained over their nightly after-dinner beer.
“Yeah, stop treating your friends as free labor,” Taiga agreed. He liked Kochi. They got along well and he had someone on his side when he was play-fighting with Shintaro.
“Stop complaining! I pay you in beer and fresh seafood and this is how you show gratitude!” Shintaro reprimanded them.
“Fucking cheapskate!”
“No need to worry. There are reinforcements coming soon! Juri and you guys’ mutual friend from work are coming.” Shintaro scratched his head. “Juri said his name was Jesse. Is he a foreigner? Hey! Call me Taro!” he said in English.
As anticipated, Taiga’s friends came to the guesthouse the following week. Jesse already had on a festive Hawaiian shirt, lively as ever, and Shintaro gave him and Juri welcoming hugs and slaps on the back.
What Taiga didn’t anticipate was that Hokuto would be coming with them.
Hokuto smiled at Taiga awkwardly, shifting on his feet and looking like he would rather be anywhere but that beach. “Um, hi. Long time no see.”
“Yeah. Hi,” Taiga greeted him.
“Sorry for the sudden plus one. This guy wanted to come with us no matter what,” Juri said, an arm slung around Hokuto’s shoulders. He motioned Shintaro over to introduce him. “Shintaro, this is Hokuto. Hokuto, Shintaro.”
Shintaro gave an uncharacteristically reserved smile. “Nice to meet you.”
“Kyomo.”
Shintaro pulled Taiga aside when their guests were getting settled in their rooms. “Are you okay with Hokuto around?”
“It’s not like I have a choice. He’s already here.” Taiga didn’t know how to face him. He would just be polite and treat him like any other guy.
Shintaro still looked concerned. He gave Taiga’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “If you’re not, I’ll kick him out. Maybe Kochi’ll take him.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about me.” Taiga waved him off.
“If you say so.” Shintaro grinned. “Want me to give him a hard time anyway?”
Taiga laughed. “If that would take any of the work off of me and Kochi, go ahead.”
As he was scheming, Shintaro gave Jesse and Juri the easy job of frying yakisoba, while Hokuto was tasked to clean the entire guest house by himself. Taiga almost felt bad enough to help him, if not for Shintaro assigning him and Kochi to shopping duties.
Taiga thought he would be able to avoid him for the rest of the trip if Shintaro continued to work him to the bone, but Hokuto came up to him after they’d had their dinner and Taiga was sitting idly at the beach.
“Never thought I'd see a tanned Kyomoto Taiga.”
Hokuto was wearing an open button-down shirt and shorts, a pair of sunglasses dangling from between his fingers. Come to think of it, this was the first time the two of them were at a beach together. Taiga rarely had the time to take Hokuto out to dinner, let alone take him to trips such as this one. The only time they had really gone out was when Hokuto took him to the amusement park in his hometown. It was a happy memory for Taiga.
Hokuto sat down beside him before Taiga could leave and avoid the awkward conversation. “How are you?” he asked.
“Fine.”
It wasn’t that Taiga was still in love with him. The relationship ended with no fighting or hateful words exchanged, sure. But that didn't make it hurt less. Hokuto had left quietly and without explanation, not even taking the time to tell Taiga to his face. Taiga was already down, and Hokuto leaving just confirmed that he wasn’t worth anything at the time, not someone worth loving and staying with.
“Sorry for coming all the way here. I wanted to apologize.”
So he did feel bad about it. “Okay,” Taiga replied. “Then, you're forgiven. Sorry as well.”
Hokuto didn't budge from his spot. He went on to explain himself, “It just got tiring, Kyomoto. It didn’t feel like I was important to you anymore. In hindsight, you were going through a lot and I wasn’t understanding enough of your situation. Sorry I was too selfish.”
“You’re allowed to be selfish.” Taiga didn’t really hold the break-up against him. He couldn’t give Hokuto what he wanted out of a relationship, so he left. Relationships ended like that all the time. “You’re allowed to put yourself first. It’s no big deal.”
“Maybe to you. It was to me.”
“Not enough to tell me to my face,” Taiga said, voice not without venom.
“That’s not fair.” Hokuto looked hurt. “You would never meet me.”
“I know. That was on me.” Taiga acknowledged his part in the break-up. Life was tough and neither of them could handle adding the relationship to their plate. “Sorry, Hokuto. We both had our own faults.”
“Sorry,” Hokuto said again.
Taiga nodded. “So, are we all good?”
“All good,” Hokuto confirmed with a weak smile.
They sat in silence not uncommon for them. The two of them hadn’t started out as friends after all, ending up dating after they’d had one too many beers at one of Jesse’s drinking parties. Maybe that was why it didn’t work out between them.
“Hey, is your friend single?” What the hell was this guy thinking, asking his ex to set him up with a friend?
“Kochi?” Taiga humored him. He actually hadn't heard Kochi mention that he was dating anyone. He didn’t even know if Kochi was gay, although it did seem like he was responding to Jesse’s attempts to flirt with him lately. “I think so.”
“I meant Shintaro.”
Taiga frowned. No way in hell he would let Shintaro date Hokuto, he thought protectively. “He is. But he's heard me complain about you so many times and already hates you.”
“I wasn’t asking for me.” Hokuto grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “For you.”
“Me?” It wasn’t the first time someone tried to set Taiga up with Shintaro, but their relationship always remained the same. Friends.
“Doesn’t it feel like it would go well between you two?”
“And where are you getting that from?”
“Well, I didn’t stick around when it got tiring to be around you. But he did. That should count for something, right?”
“That’s just called being a friend. You’re probably also a shitty friend so you don’t know.”
“In addition to being a shitty boyfriend? That’s harsh.” Hokuto laughed lightly. “Want me to flirt with you to see how he reacts?”
Taiga wrinkled his nose. “No thanks.”
Hokuto held a hand up seriously. “Don’t fall in love again, though.”
“Fuck off.”
“Come on.”
“Why are you so hell-bent on setting me up with Shintaro? Is it your guilty conscience?”
“Because you deserve better, Kyomoto.”
So Hokuto still kind of cared about him. It didn't work out between them, but deep inside Taiga also wished for his happiness.
“You deserve someone who won’t leave when you’re not in a good place. And Shintaro never left.” Hokuto shrugged. “Who knows. It could just be my guilty conscience haunting me.”
“I don't need you to set me up with anyone, Hokuto,” Taiga said, smiling. There wasn’t that much tension between them anymore. He felt like the two of them could even be friends again. Maybe not any time soon. But Taiga wouldn’t write it off as impossible just yet.
“I know.” Hokuto looked away, a small smile on his face. “You're a catch.”
-
As always, Shintaro was already waiting for him on the deck with a cold beer once everyone was in their room. Taiga didn’t feel like drinking, but he sat down beside him anyway and took the beer. He pressed the cold can to his wrist to cool down.
“So?” Shintaro asked.
“We talked,” Taiga said slowly.
Shintaro nodded. He sat with Taiga quietly, letting him take time to process his feelings.
“It was okay,” Taiga said finally. “Kinda nice.”
“Nice,” Shintaro repeated slowly. “As in, you would get back with him?”
“No. You know how I feel about getting back with exes.” After a messy on and off relationship back in university, Taiga vowed never to give second chances after a break-up. “Nice, as in we could be friends. Not now though. Someday.”
“Oh. So you’re okay.” Shintaro stretched his arms up with a groan, lying down on the deck. “Here I was, all ready to comfort you.”
“What, you want me to feel bad about it?” Taiga chuckled. “Some friend.”
“I was going to offer you a chest to cry on,” Shintaro said dramatically. “Come, dive into my arms!” He pulled on Taiga’s wrist to have him lay down roughly.
“I’m really okay and don’t need comforting, stupid,” Taiga protested as Shintaro squeezed his body. Although he wouldn’t admit it, it felt nice. Shintaro was warm and familiar and smelled of sun-dried clothes. He closed his eyes, wrapping an arm loosely around Shintaro’s waist, his head tucked under Shintaro’s chin. Only Shintaro could hear him with the short distance between them. “Thanks. For always being here.”
-
“Jesse told me you and Hokuto dated,” Kochi said when they’re both strapped into the guesthouse’s minivan on the way home from the local wet market. Even though it was established that Hokuto and Taiga were okay and could be civil with each other, Shintaro still put Kochi and Taiga on market duty to minimize awkward interactions.
“Jesse doesn’t know how to shut up.”
“He’s a lot of fun,” Kochi laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
“Not when he’s divulging your relationships to people he just met,” Taiga said, laughing along.
“So? Would you get back with him?” Kochi asked. They must have been in the part of the friendship where Kochi was allowed to be nosy, Taiga noted. He did call Taiga by his first name already.
“No.”
“That was quick!” Kochi burst out laughing. “Poor guy.”
“I don’t get back with exes.”
Kochi hummed in thought, eyes focused on the road ahead of him. “Why not?”
“Traumatized by past experiences,” Taiga said vaguely.
“Isn’t everyone? But that probably means you don’t feel strongly enough about him to risk getting hurt again.”
Taiga rolled the thought over in his brain. He was totally in love with Hokuto when they were together, but near the end of the relationship, he didn’t feel the need to keep fighting to keep his spot by Hokuto’s side. Kochi might be right.
“What about Shintaro?”
“Shintaro? What about him?”
“Would you date him?”
“Why is everyone trying to set me up with Shintaro?” Taiga made a face. “I’ve known him since we were brats. There have never been any romantic sparks.”
“So?”
“What do you mean, so?”
“Does there need to be sparks?” Kochi clicked his tongue at Taiga, wagging a finger at him. “My child, we are in our thirties. Sparks aren’t necessary anymore.”
“Don’t lump me in with you old people,” Taiga said, laughing.
“Oi, we’re the same age,” Kochi yelled. “Do you think that’s what really makes a good relationship? The heart-fluttering, electricity sparks bullshit?”
“Isn’t that a prerequisite?”
“Depends on what you’re looking for. Do you want to have fun with someone hot until you find out there are things you don’t like about each other, or do you want someone you know you’re comfortable with?” Kochi parked the car in front of the market, turning to Taiga. “Think about it.”
-
It was raining on the day of the fireworks display.
Everyone had been looking forward to it, especially the group of college girls that were staying as guests. They wanted to wear the fancy yukata they had brought, but since the fireworks were canceled, they ended up going home instead.
“Instead of a summer festival with cute girls, I'm stuck with a bunch of dudes,” Juri complained.
“What's wrong with a bunch of dudes?” Jesse asked with a pout.
“Nothing. I love you guys.” Juri made a heart with his hands, Jesse giving him a heart of his own.
At Shintaro’s suggestion, they lit up some sparklers by the beach once the rain stopped late that night. The weather was gloomy, but everyone was hyped for the sparklers, probably due to the amount of alcohol they all consumed earlier. Juri and Hokuto were sword-fighting drunkenly with the sparklers, while Jesse had his arm around Kochi for some reason.
Shintaro crouched down beside Taiga, their knees bumping against each other as he lit Taiga’s sparkler first before his own. He smiled, face illuminated by the light of the sparklers. It made Taiga want to kiss him.
Wait.
Wait.
Hold up.
Kiss Shintaro? Now where'd that come from?
“Did you even wish properly?” Shintaro asked him accusingly when the sparklers were almost up. “We only had one sparkler each so if you didn ' t, you wasted it.”
“Got distracted, sorry,” Taiga said sheepishly.
-
“This guy was acting all cool the whole time,” Jesse wheezed, clutching his stomach. “Kyomoto, don't fall in love with me again,” he said in a deep voice.
“Stop it, I'm trying to drive here!” Juri wiped at the tears that formed at the corners of his eyes from laughing too much, one hand at the steering wheel of their rented car. Their summer vacation had ended.
Jesse continued from the passenger seat, “You deserve better, Kyomoto. Not a bad boy like me.”
“Shut up.” Hokuto couldn’t help but chuckle through his tears. His shoulders shook as he sobbed quietly at the back seat, muffled by the sound of his friends’ boisterous laughter. “I already knew I lost when I saw them together. You guys are assholes.”
“I told you, Kyomo doesn’t date his exes. Especially not the ones who broke up with him through text. Did you fucking listen?” Juri was as harsh as ever. “Cry harder.” He mock-cried like a child, stopping to burst out laughing again when Hokuto smacked the back of the driver’s seat hard.
“Fuck both of you.”
“Well, at least there was finally closure,” Jesses said sympathetically despite all his poking fun at Hokuto’s misery. “We can all drink together and be friends.”
Jesse put on Yuuri’s Dry Flower as background music and he and Juri sang along emotionally, Hokuto being a good sport and joining along near the end of the song.
-
With Juri, Hokuto, and Jesse leaving, the guesthouse finally had enough vacancies for Taiga to rest. He and Kochi still had their yakisoba stand duties, while Shintaro had the surfing lessons, but at the end of each day they were free to sit around doing nothing once Kochi had gone home.
Taiga was left alone with Shintaro a lot more.
The two of them would usually sit out on the deck at night talking, or sit in Shintaro’s room watching Detective Conan reruns over beer and snacks like tonight. Taiga had already seen all the episodes, so he was suspicious of Shintaro’s claim of never having seen the episode they were watching whenever he would solve the mysteries correctly.
“Kochi and Hokuto think we should date,” Taiga said in what he hoped was a casual tone.
“Yeah?” Shintaro had decided that the old man was the culprit of this episode, eyes fixated on the screen as he grabbed more chips.
“Stupid, right?” Taiga tried to pass it off as a joke.
“You think?” Shintaro asked. “I would totally date you.”
Taiga’s heart raced. So much for the sparks don’t matter in a relationship bullshit Kochi had spewed to Taiga that week. “You would..?”
“Yeah. Who wouldn’t? You’re gorgeous.” The TV flickered shut, Shintaro seemingly not interested in who the killer this episode was anymore. He turned to grin at Taiga. “The question here is if you would date me.”
With liquid courage coursing through him, Taiga planted a firm kiss on his lips. He pulled back quickly to look at Shintaro's expression. He only managed to catch a glimpse of Shintaro's dark eyes before the younger man leaned in for another kiss, deeper this time, pushing him down on the bed. Taiga let out a soft moan when his back hit the mattress, kissing back with the same desperation, letting Shintaro explore his mouth with his tongue. His arms circled around Shintaro's neck to pull him even closer.
“Feels good,” Taiga mumbled when Shintaro placed open-mouthed kisses on his neck. His fingers found Shintaro’s hair, lightly scraping at his scalp.
They paused to let Shintaro take off Taiga’s shirt. Taiga closed his eyes when warm hands ran up his stomach, his body jolting when Shintaro's hands grazed his nipples. Seeing that he was sensitive, Shintaro lightly rolled one nipple between his fingers, lapping at the other one with his tongue. Taiga writhed under him, whimpering, his hands fisting the sheets tightly. He muffled a scream with one hand against his mouth when Shintaro bit his nipple lightly.
Shintaro gave him a shit-eating grin when he pulled back, mouth shiny with spit, victorious that he had gotten Taiga to react so much. He took off his own shirt, Taiga staring unabashedly to appreciate the tanned skin and toned muscles. He kissed Taiga again, gentler this time, one hand caressing Taiga’s cheek. Taiga reached for his cock under his clothing and started jerking him off, Shintaro shivering under his touch and moaning softly into his mouth. Fuck, Shintaro was huge, his cock thick with prominent veins against his hand. The last time he saw Shintaro naked back in grade school couldn't have prepared him for this.
“Hey, you really wanna do this?” Shintaro asked, hands rubbing Taiga's sides gently.
Taiga nodded.
Shintaro kissed his cheek before moving to take off Taiga's shorts and underwear. He coaxed Taiga's legs open with his hands, trailing wet kisses up his inner thigh. “You sure?” he asked again, breath hot against Taiga's skin. “Last chance to back out.”
Taiga groaned. He was already painfully hard, a trail of precum leaking from his cock to just above his navel that Shintaro didn't fail to notice and lap at. “Are you gonna fuck me or should I just jerk off and come all over you?”
Shintaro wiggled his eyebrows infuriatingly. “Don't threaten me with a good time.”
Taiga nudged his shoulder with the back of his foot. “Come on,” he whined.
“So demanding.”
Taiga would've said something back, if it wasn't for Shintaro spreading his ass cheeks to shove his tongue inside his hole. “Fuck,” he sobbed. He gripped the sheets hard, his hips bucking up to Shintaro's mouth, eyes shut tight to focus on the feeling of Shintaro's tongue. Shintaro's mouth moved to lap at his perineum and then his balls, his hand moving up and down his length, and Taiga vaguely heard the sound of a bottle being uncapped before he felt cool liquid poured over his hole. He felt himself getting close to the edge when Shintaro started to finger him, two thick fingers immediately curling to prod at his prostate over and over. “Shintaro… Wait.”
Shintaro removed his fingers. “Does it hurt?”
Taiga shook his head, panting. This out of breath and Shintaro hadn't even fucked him yet. “Give me a minute.”
“Okay.” Shintaro moved up his body to kiss him, and Taiga would've complained about his mouth just having been on his ass if not for how gentle Shintaro was.
Taiga took a deep breath and pushed him away. “Okay. Yes, I want this. Don't ask me again if I'm sure.”
Shintaro grinned and took off his shorts and underwear. He reached behind Taiga to fumble on his bedside table, producing a box of condoms. Taiga couldn’t help but stare as he rolled a condom on his dick. “Okay?” Shintaro asked again, just to be annoying, once his cock was slick with lube.
Before Taiga could get frustrated again, Shintaro pushed the head of his cock in his entrance, the initial pressure almost painful. Shintaro kissed his temple, hands running up his sides to soothe him. When he got used to the feeling, Taiga gave him a small nod to move.
“Fuck, you feel amazing,” Shintaro groaned in his ear once he was balls-deep inside Taiga. He fucked into him slow and deep, Taiga's fingernails digging into his back, the two of them swallowing each other’s moans in a sloppy kiss.
Taiga whimpered when Shintaro hooked one of his legs over his shoulder and started thrusting at an angle that made him see stars. “Ah, fuck! There!” He knew he wouldn’t last long, not when every snap of Shintaro’s hips pushed him closer to the edge, his head thrown back and tears forming at the corners of his closed eyes. He started fisting his own cock, desperate for release. “Shintaro- Fuck, don't stop, ah- I’m gonna come-”
Shintaro fucked him through his orgasm, Taiga’s body convulsing as he came on his own stomach. “You're fucking beautiful,” Shintaro breathed against his ear. The pistoning of his hips became erratic, and Taiga reveled in the way he knit his eyebrows when he came inside of him with a moan.
The bed dipped under Shintaro’s weight when he collapsed beside Taiga, the two of them breathing hard. Shintaro gave a breathy laugh. “Wow.”
Trust Shintaro to lighten up the atmosphere. “ Wow. So eloquent.”
“ You try describing what just happened,” Shintaro challenged.
Taiga thought for a moment. “Wow,” he said after a while, his nose scrunched as he started laughing.
“See!”
It was so easy with Shintaro. Taiga didn’t feel any pressure to be perfect, to check if he still liked Taiga after spending time with him, because he knew Shintaro already knew and accepted him as he was. He reached out to touch his face, kissing his lips softly, without the previous desperation. When they separated, Shintaro was also smiling.
They cleaned up haphazardly. They're both sweaty and Taiga still had a bit of cum on his stomach, but he let Shintaro wrap an arm around his shoulders anyway, pressing him against his toned chest. His mind started to wander in post-nut clarity. Was this a bad idea? Did he just ruin their friendship? Were they both just horny and didn’t really like each other romantically? What if they break up and start hating each other? Taiga would be crushed. Who would he message at 3am from then on to-
Taiga winced when Shintaro suddenly flicked his forehead. “What the fuck?”
“You're overthinking,” Shintaro teased, his chest vibrating against Taiga's ear as he spoke. Apparently, Shintaro saw right through him. He continued dramatically, “Oh no ! We fucked! Is our friendship ruined! Is Shintaro only after my very sexy body! What if we die !” He twisted to his side to defend himself from Taiga poking at his sides violently, doubling up with laughter. He managed to shield his body with a pillow.
“Those are all valid concerns!” Taiga yanked the pillow from Shintaro’s arms and started hitting him with it, unable to contain his own laughter. Shintaro knew him well. Too well.
“Are you an idiot?” Shintaro asked when they stopped their little pillow fight and their laughter had subsided into giggles. They lay side by side, sweaty and out of breath again. “How many years do you think I've liked you one-sidedly? Sure, it hurt, but did I leave?”
Taiga turned to look at him, eyes wide. All this time he never realized that Shintaro had thought of him as more than a friend. He had been too caught up in his own relationships to notice, too preoccupied with making sure Hokuto was happy. Too busy focusing on other people to look at Shintaro's direction. “You didn't tell me.”
“Yes, I did,” Shintaro said in mock offense. “I gave you my second button. Remember?”
Too busy trying to survive university life, Taiga wasn't around when Shintaro graduated from high school. Shintaro was still sulking about it when he came home a month later. The two of them ended up fighting about it and not talking to each other for almost a week, until Taiga apologized by treating Shintaro to yakiniku. Appeased, Shintaro smugly handed him the button he'd been safekeeping.
“ I like Kyomo the most so here's my second button ,” Shintaro babbled in a high-pitched voice, mimicking his younger self. “Or something.”
Now Taiga felt bad. “Sorry. I thought you were just happy about the free yakiniku.”
“I was being a brat so I was treated like one. It's fine.” Shintaro laughed it off. He reached for Taiga's hand, giving it a squeeze before intertwining their fingers loosely. “What I’m trying to say is… You'll always have me, Kyomo. Even if we break each other's hearts, or we don’t feel the same way anymore, I'll be here. You don't have to worry about us.”
Us. That was what Taiga was afraid of losing the most. Their lifelong friendship that withstood decades of childish fights, the turbulence of teenage angst, growing up, and even living miles apart.
“I love you.” It was easy for Taiga to say. Maybe it hadn't been romantic all this time, but there was always love between them: as friends, or as something like family. Before it developed into whatever this was Taiga currently felt.
“I know,” Shintaro replied simply. “I love you too. Always have, always will.”
Things didn’t change much between them after that. They could still joke with each other normally, and get into petty arguments that would be resolved within the day. The only differences were the lingering touches, sleeping in the same room, and what Taiga hoped was a special way Shintaro looked at only him.
-
Trash still washed up on the beach like normal, the clean-up seemingly never-ending. The two of them set out to work on cleaning up after lunch, the beach all to themselves as it was nearing the end of summer and not a lot of people visited. It was a pretty productive afternoon until Shintaro had had enough work and roughhoused Taiga into the sea.
“You fucking asshole,” Taiga spluttered, soaking wet in his clothes from head to toe after Shintaro pushed him into the water. He shoved back, but Shintaro wouldn't budge, laughing at Taiga's futile attempt at revenge. He settled on dunking Shintaro's head in the water. “What if I had my phone in my pocket!”
“You left it on the kitchen table! I saw!” Shintaro was still as happy as ever after getting his head dunked in the water.
When they eventually got tired of playing in the water, mostly from laughing until their stomachs hurt, the two of them sat on the beach.
“Hey, have you decided what you're gonna do once summer's over?” Shintaro asked casually as he peeled off his wet tank top. He had his legs stretched out, not caring about how the sand would probably end up in his shorts.
“Not yet.” Taiga had been dreading the question all summer. Now that he's had time to rest and think it over, it didn't really bother him as much. “Might go back to Tokyo.”
“I see.”
Part of him wished Shintaro would try to stop him, but Taiga knew he didn’t really belong here. Not like Shintaro. Shintaro belonged near the sea, where he had all the outdoor hobbies and a stable income all year round, running the guesthouse during the summer and teaching kindergarteners for the rest of the year. It was perfect for him. Meanwhile, Taiga was jobless and without job prospects, his Tokyo apartment continuing to collect dust as he spent carefree days near the sea.
“Will you be lonely?” Taiga asked with a teasing smile.
“ So lonely,” Shintaro whined in a cutesy voice, pouting. He laughed when Taiga gave him a light punch on the arm. “But it's not like we haven't lived apart for years.”
Even with the slight change in their relationship from friends to lovers, Shintaro was as carefree as ever. Taiga couldn't help but smile. “You're not worried at all.”
“Nope!” Shintaro said confidently.
They stayed on the beach for a while, a comfortable silence between them accompanied by the tranquil sounds of the sea. The wind had made a mess out of Shintaro’s wet hair and there was sand smudged on his cheek. Taiga thought he looked perfect.
Taiga pulled his knees to his chest, resting his chin on his arms. “What if I stay with you instead?” he asked quietly.
“As a freeloader?”
“As your boyfriend.” They hadn't really talked about labels. Taiga panicked internally and quickly added, “Who also happens to be a freeloader.”
Shintaro just laughed lightheartedly. “Then, that would be the best.”
Taiga tackled Shintaro to the ground, the two of them toppling down in a tangle of limbs and wet sand. They snuck salty kisses in between relaxed smiles.
“Don't stay here just to be with me, though.” Shintaro mumbled against his neck, his arm around Taiga's waist. “I know you, Kyomo. You need freedom to do what you want. You’re not happy when you just go with whatever other people decide.”
“You're right,” Taiga said slowly. That was probably why he had been so miserable these past few years. He had gotten the shitty job because it was expected of him as a member of society, had done whatever his shitty bosses told him to do, and compromised too much to meet his partner’s expectations whenever he was dating. Shintaro saw right through him. “You're right. Are you some kind of genius?”
“Jesus Christ, you guys. Right in front of my salad?”
They looked up to Kochi holding an ice box, frowning. Taiga had the decency to sit up, but Shintaro thought Kochi's scandalized face was the funniest thing ever so he planted a wet kiss on the side of Taiga's face with a loud smack.
Kochi made a face. They haven’t told him anything about them yet. He was probably happy for them, but Kochi was a cool guy who probably wouldn't admit it. “I was gonna share the tuna I got from the market. Looks like you guys are busy… Canoodling… In the fucking sand, of all places…” He shook his head disapprovingly.
“Nice!” Shintaro only heard that there was tuna. He scrambled to his feet and excitedly walked over to where Kochi was standing. “Want me to fillet it?”
“Not until you shower,” Kochi said, holding the ice box protectively away from Shintaro's sandy hands. He glanced at Taiga still sitting on the sand. “Both of you.”
-
Taiga sat out on the front porch, watching the waves crash against the large boulders near the shore. The sun wasn't out yet, and the light breeze was cooler than it had been these past few months. It was quiet aside from the sounds of the sea, no laughter from morning surfers, or quiet footsteps of guests waiting for breakfast at the guesthouse. Summer was ending soon.
“Good morning.” Shintaro sat down beside him, clad in his usual outfit of a tank top and shorts despite the cold. He had grown quite a bit of stubble overnight. Taiga scrunched his nose when he got a wet and scratchy kiss on the cheek. It was like getting licked by a large dog.
“Good morning.”
“Do you want toast or rice for breakfast?”
“Rice,” Taiga answered instantly. He used to forego breakfast all the time when he lived in Tokyo. Now he’s gotten used to eating a hearty meal of fish, rice, salad, and miso soup every morning.
“Gotcha.” Shintaro got up.
“I’ll help.” Taiga held his hand up for Shintaro to pull him to his feet.
They go inside the guesthouse, filling the silence with a city pop CD playing on the old stereo and the sounds of breakfast being made: the rhythmic tapping of a knife against wood, the sizzle of the frying pan, and Taiga humming along to the music.
“I should get going soon,” Taiga said quietly after he had set the table for the two of them.
Shintaro met his eyes, not missing a beat as he poured more scrambled eggs into the frying pan. “To Tokyo?”
“Yeah.”
“I see.” Shintaro didn’t protest or ask Taiga to stay, simply leaning into Taiga’s touch when the older man hugged him from behind. “Take care of yourself. Don’t come back here looking like a zombie again.”
-
“Are you sure you didn’t forget anything?” Shintaro asked as he unloaded the luggage from the trunk of his car.
“If I did, mail it to Tokyo.” Taiga fastened his backpack to the handle of his suitcase. He threw his arms around Shintaro’s waist, squeezing tight, engraving the warmth of his body to his memory. Shintaro hugged him back just as hard.
Rolling the car windows down during the trip to the station had probably messed up his hair, longer than it had been when he first came to the beachhouse, because Shintaro looked him over and started fussing with his hair. When he deemed him as looking acceptable enough, he patted Taiga’s shoulders roughly.
“Okay.” Shintaro smiled. “Come back whenever you feel like it, Kyomo. I’ll send Kochi to drag you over if you don’t visit.”
Taiga smiled back. “See you, Shintaro.”
The train ride back to Tokyo should have been bittersweet, but Taiga’s heart felt light. He was optimistic, and even a little excited, to look for new paths he could take in the city. Maybe when he came back to the guesthouse next year, his life would be completely different. Happier. It could be even worse than before, but he knew he would be fine. The sea and Shintaro would always be there for him.